Project Team Beta Smut University 2012

Writing A Virgin Scene

By Opal Aline

Assignment #1: Write a scene featuring two virgins - any pairing is fine, so long as both are virgins.

Disclaimer: Twilights not mine!

Silence. One word, two syllables. It can be a thing of beauty, or it can be a feeling of abandonment, dread, or utter emptiness. Is there such a thing as complete silence?

As I sit unclothed in the middle of my bed staring out the window, I contemplate what silence means to me at this moment. Ironically, it is not completely silent in my room. The rain hits the window like tiny pebbles being thrown, and my breathing is ragged due to the panic attack threatening to consume my body. I take a deep breath and lift myself from my bed.

I walk in a daze from my bedroom to the bathroom, not bothering with a robe since Charlie isn't due home for hours. I lock the door behind me and walk to the tub to draw a bath. I briefly consider looking in the mirror, but decide against it. I couldn't bare to look myself in the eye right now.

I am truly my own worse enemy.

I test the water with my foot, feeling the welcoming burn of the scalding hot water. Normally, I would have turned the water to cool and waited for the water to become more comfortable, but today I welcomed the burn. As I sunk lower into the tub, I let my hands roam over my body. I definitely felt different, but in the most horrible of ways. I felt guilty, the burning between my legs from my newly torn hymen a constant reminder of this afternoon. I thought back to the fight Edward and I had when we returned home from school.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm just not ready. I thought I could do this, but I just can't." Edward jumped off the bed and started to put on his clothes.

I stared at him blankly willing the tears to remain unshed.

He searched for his keys while I searched for the words to make him stay, but ramblings of insecurity were all I had. "Do you not love me Edward? Am, am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? What is it!"

The tears were falling freely now and I went to jump out of the bed, but stopped short realizing I was completely naked.

I was too embarrassed for Edward to see all of me right now. I felt rejected, again.

"Bella, of course I love you. I tell you that every day. I just, I don't know why I cant have sex with you, ok? I just need some space, I think. I'll call you."

He was out the door before I could respond.

I rolled to my side away from the door and curled into myself as much as my body would allow. My body wracked with uncontrollable sobs for what felt like hours. Just as I was starting to calm and catch my breath, I felt the bed dip behind me.

"Edward?"

I uncurled myself and rolled over to only be disappointed again.

"Jasper! What the hell are you doing here?" I practically shrieked.

I checked to make sure I was completely covered as I looked over the comforter at him. He sat there, his head hung, as he fiddled with his keys.

"Alice and I had a fight. I came here to find Edward, but as I arrived I saw him peeling out of your driveway. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer." I looked at him, confused. "Why would you come in if you knew he had left?" He didn't look at me for a few moments.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable, I realized. I continued to stare at him, hoping for am explanation on why he was sitting at the end of my bed, when he finally looked up. "I don't know why I'm here, Bella. When I saw Edward leave in a rush I just had a bad feeling that something was wrong. So, I let myself in and could hear you crying from downstairs. I came upstairs to see if you were ok."

His words were so sincere and he looked about as broken as I felt.

"What happened with Alice?" I asked while sitting up. I tucked the blanket under each of my arms, figuring it was the best I could do. His eyes widened when he saw my bare shoulders. He cleared his throat and looked up from my shoulders to my eyes as he spoke.

"We broke up. She wants to experience life and she feels that I'm holding her back." His voice cracked at the end but he was quick to recover.

"What happened with you and Edward?"

He looked back to my bare shoulders again and I blushed.

"We broke up as well. At least, I think we did. He said he needed space."

He looked at me strangely, like he didn't believe me. So, I elaborated even though it was embarrassing.

"Um, Edward doesn't want to have sex with me. Well, he says he cant because he's not ready."

The moment should have been awkward, but it wasn't. We stared at each other for a really long time before Jasper whispered, "I don't want to be alone, Bella."

I thought for a moment. I found such comfort in Jasper right now. He was as broken as I, and I definitely didn't want to be alone right now either.

I scooted over on the bed and gestured for him to sit next to me. He hesitated for a moment before settling next to me on the bed. He leaned back while stretching his legs out along mine as I began to rest my head on his shoulder, but he stopped me. Instead of telling me no, he lifted his arm so I could snuggle into his side.

He was so warm.

I looked up at his face and found him staring down at me.

"I don't want to be alone either." I said it so quietly I wasn't sure if he had heard it.

We stared into each other's eyes, both reflecting the pain that lay deep inside. Then, ever so slowly, Jaspers face slowly moved towards mine. He stopped right before our lips touched, asking for permission by making me complete the distance. I touched my lips to his and felt a shadow of guilt that was suddenly overpowered by desire. His lips were warm and inviting, yet unfamiliar. I parted my lips to allow him in, searching. It wasn't one of those awkward first kisses, but something new.

The taste of him was exciting and I moved the kiss from slow and searching to that of one that was desperate and needing.

Jasper broke away, panting, and I felt myself blush while sinking lower into the covers. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes full of lust and confusion.

"Alice wanted to save herself for marriage. I thought that we would get married one day and so I agreed to wait." He brushed a stray hair from my face and then spoke.

"I'm still a virgin too."

Before I could think about the implications of what I was about to do, I scooted over a little more and gestured for him to lie down. I tried to lift the covers to show I wanted him to get underneath them with me.

He looked at me for a moment, deciding whether this was a good idea or not, and then he got up.

I began to feel the sting of rejection for the second time that day, but then I saw him take his phone and wallet out of his pocket and set them on the nightstand. He took off his shoes next and turned back towards the bed.

He lifted the comforter, briefly noticing my naked form, and slid into the bed facing me. I snuggled into his side as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

We laid still for a second, Jasper drawing tiny circles on my hip as I listen to his steady breathing. I heard him take a breath to talk before the words were out.

"You're really beautiful, you know. Edwards issues can't be because of you."

I looked up at him, wanting to talk, to say something to make him feel better about Alice, but the words never came. [Soft Break]

Instead, I reached up and gently thread my fingers through his curly blonde hair. I pulled his face towards mine and he shifted his weight until he was practically on top of me. Our mouths began the familiar, but unfamiliar dance from earlier as I felt him move his leg in between both of mine. I groaned as I felt the pressure from his leg at my core.

Our kiss became desperate and I shifted so he would be completely on top of me.

Bringing my knees up, he settled between them and I felt his hardness grind into me. I whimpered and dug my nails into his back as he repeated the motion. I lifted his shirt up and he leaned back to pull it over his head. His stomach was toned and I briefly thought how it wasn't much different from Edwards.

Jasper must have noticed the change in my thoughts because he asked,

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I pushed all thoughts of Edward out of my mind and brought Jasper back down flush against my body.

I gave him a long, hard, kiss filled with desperation and desire, and he returned it ten fold. I reached down and undid his jeans while he kicked them away. I noticed he was still wearing his boxers and I motioned for him to take them off as well by pulling them down off his hip.

His erection sprang free and I couldn't help but stare.

It was different from Edwards, but just as intimidating. The tip of it was glistening with pre-cum and I felt the sudden urge to lick it off.

Jasper settled back down on top of me and moved his hand down to my core. He lightly traced one finger along my folds and moaned as he added a second finger and began to tease the bundle of nerves there.

"God, you're so wet."

I grabbed for his hard erection and ran my hand down its length, grasping tighter as I came back up. My thumb traced over the tip, spreading the wetness around, and his breathing hitched as he brought his head down to the crook of my neck. I moved my knees up a bit further, and guided him towards my entrance. I took a deep breath to relax before he pushed in, but only barely.

I yelped a little and he looked at my face to make sure I was ok. I took another deep breath and nodded.

He slowly pushed in until he filled me completely. There was a slight stinging sensation, but other than that I was ok. He pulled out a little and pushed in again, but quicker this time. I moaned and he pumped a few more times before driving deep inside me and stilled. I could feel him empty into me. It was such an erotic feeling and I was sad that it was over.

Jasper was panting and sweaty as he laid his head on my chest and I lifted my hand to gently push the hair away from his face.

I was overcome with sadness that I had just lost my virginity with Jasper instead of Edward. It wasn't the special moment that I had expected because it wasn't with the special person I had expected it with. A single tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before Jasper noticed.

We lay there for a few minutes unmoving, but then I got the sudden urge to pee. I excused myself and darted to the bathroom.

When I came back, Jasper was completely dressed and had his car keys in hand. The awkward moment had finally arrived and I realized I was completely naked. I grabbed my robe off the hook on the back of the door and put it on. I shifted my weight uncomfortably, wrapping my arms around myself, and waited for him to speak. He glanced down at his keys and then back at me.

"My mom called and I'm late for dinner. Can I call you later?"

I gave him a smile and nodded, but I was secretly dreading the moment he left and I was alone again.

He pulled me into a hug and gave me a lingering kiss on my forehead before letting go. I moved away from the door so he could pass and he promised again to call after dinner.

I shut the door and leaned against it as I let the feeling of guilt wash over me.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks as I realized the bath water had gone cold. Still, I sat for a moment longer and thought about my future.

Would I be with Jasper? Could I do that to Alice?

Those questions seemed like they would be the hardest until I realized, could I love Jasper?

I decided that those questions would go unanswered for now.

I loved Edward, but the pain he has caused me was irreversible. I closed my eyes one last time and listened. The rain had stopped and the bathroom was filled with silence. It was a beautiful thing, silence. I decided, that in the end, silence is golden.

A/N: WHEW! There you have it. My first lemon EVER!