( were all gonna die)
THE DR. LAUREL SHOW EPISODE #142: ODYSSEUS
What would have happened if Odysseus and the guys that tried to marry his wife went on a daytime talk show instead of just killing each other? Well we'll find out today on the Dr. Laurel Show, starring Dr. Laurel Graham.
Dr. Laurel: "Hello and welcome to my show. Tonight we have a very interesting group of people, so let's start."
Audience: "Yay! Woohoo!" Clap, clap!
Dr. Laurel : "Now first up is a man who is very angry at some guys who tried to marry his wife and murder his son. Come on out Odysseus."
Odysseus: "Thank-you Dr. Laurel, I'm very happy to be here today."
Dr. Laurel: "Now Odysseus, what did these men try to do?"
Odysseus: "Well for one thing they tried to marry my wife."
Audience: "BOO, BOO!"
Odysseus: "And they tried to kill my son Telemachus!"
Audience: "BOO, BOO!"
Dr. Laurel : "So what did you do about that?"
Odysseus: "Well I tried to kill them of course."
Dr. Laurel : "Umm....That's not really a solution to your problems."
Odysseus: "But they tried to kill my son. They must be destroyed."
Dr. Laurel : "Then, let's bring them on down!"
Audience: "BOO! BOO!"
Antinous: "Hey, you didn't tell me HE was going to be here!"
Odysseus: "Oh? And just who else is angry with you for trying to sleep with their wife?"
Eurymachus: "O.K. calm down you two."
Dr. Laurel : "Hey! That's my line."
Agelus: "Then you should have said it lady."
Dr. Laurel : "Yes, well umm....Antinous, why exactly did you, among other things, try to sleep with Odysseus' wife and kill his son?"
Antinous: "Well, Odysseus had been away for over ten years for one thing and we figured he was dead, secondly his wife, Penelope, was REALLY hitting on me."
Odysseus: "That's not true!"
Antinous: "Whatever. Anyway, she seemed to really like me and as for Telemachus, he was such a little brat."
Odysseus: "How dare you. DIE! DIE!"
Antinous: "AHHHHH!!"
Eurymachus: " Oh no, now look what you've done."
Agelas: " Oh my god he killed Antinous."
Dr. Laurel : "Mr. Odysseus if you keep up like this I'm calling security."
Odysseus: "Oh fine."
Dr. Laurel : "I think now would be a good time to take some questions. Ummm....Yes you in the toga."
Audience member #1: "Hello, my name is Poseidon. I'd like to know how exactly you got home?"
Odysseus: "Hey wait a second. It was you who got me lost! DIE!"
Poseidon: "AHHHH!"
Eurymachus: "Hey aren't gods immortal?"
Dr. Laurel : "Maybe I should just end the show."
Agelus: "You do that."
Dr. Laurel : "Well then in conclusion, Odysseus, you obviously need psychiatric help. So I think you should see a psychiatrist as soon as possible, but please don't bring any weapons."
Odysseus: "O.K."
Dr. L: "As for you two, Agelas and Eurymachos, you should stay away from Penelope and Telemachus and pay for Odysseus' psychiatrist fees."
Eurymachus: "Well O.K. sure."
Agelas: "She was really a bitch anyways."
Odysseus: "What?! DIE! DIE!"
Dr. Laurel : "I so need a different job."
Odysseus: "You know I feel a lot better now."
Audience: "Yay! Wooo!" Clap, Clap.
Well I guess it turned out pretty much like it did before, but at least this time it happened on national TV (really upped their ratings). the end