Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Don't fret, I'm still working on the next chapter of Lavinia, I just had to feed this muse a little bit. Just a one shot that came to me as I was trying to sort out Hurricane Erica. I didn't take the episode badly, I'm intrigued by the drama (though Jane's cavalier attitude seemed a bit OOC) and Lisbon's jealousy was entertaining. I'm also scratching my head at Sarah's magic uterus, we found out 3 weeks ago that she was pregnant and now she's seven months along? Oooookay.

This is a little angsty, but I hope it gets people to understand and come to terms with what happened.

Pricked by a Thorn

Lisbon hadn't liked the idea of temporarily releasing Erica Flynn from prison from the beginning. After watching every male in a ten-block radius fawn over her like she was some mythical siren only made things worse. On a good day, she trusted Jane but kept a wary eye on him and his shenanigans. This was not one of those days, which is why she'd decided to give into her gut instincts and follow him.

A sinking feeling came over her when she saw him follow Erica into her hotel room. It was bad enough knowing that a convicted criminal would be spending the night in a comfy hotel room instead of behind bars like she deserved…but now Jane was going in with her. What was he thinking?

She decided to find out for herself. She got out of her car and slowly made her way towards the room where two agents were standing guard outside. "Hey Lisbon," one of them said with an easy smile, "checking up on your psychic."

"Something like that," she told him but stopped in her tracks before she could knock on the door.

The curtains that covered the windows were open a crack, giving her an only partially obstructed view of the interior. But she could still see clearly the two occupants inside. Lisbon watched as Erica rose from the bed to stand in front of Jane, the only way to describe her body language was seductive.

Lisbon would have given anything to hear what they were saying to one another but the only sound she was aware of right then was her heart beat thudding loudly in her chest. Her lips parted in a silent gasp as she saw them stand impossibly closer to one another and Lisbon didn't need a crystal ball to see what was going to happen next.

Her mind screamed at him not to do it. To step back. To walk away. But like always, Jane never seemed to listen to her.

When Erica's lips touched Jane's, Lisbon turned around and fled.

She stumbled blindly to the parking lot and somehow found herself in her car. It was then that she realized that she was crying.

Tears spilled down her cheeks, she tried to brush them away but it didn't work, more fell from her eyes. Eventually she gave up and buried her face in her hands, allowing herself to sob.

"What is wrong with me?" she thought, "what the hell is wrong with me? I don't cry like this. I don't cry over Jane, that's just ridiculous! Stop it! Stop it now!"

But she couldn't.

Why was he doing this? He'd been following Erica around all day, smiling at her, flirting with her, sparring wits. Is that why he had insisted on getting her out? Because he wanted a midnight booty call? Was that what they were doing in there right now? Making love?

The image of Jane tangled up in the bed sheets with Erica caused a stabbing pain in Lisbon's chest, so sharp she actually felt nauseous. She stifled her cries by biting down on her knuckle until the wave of nausea slowly passed. She bit down so hard that it hurt, but the pain felt good. Physical pain felt so much better than the horror she was going through right now.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked herself. "Why are you acting this way?"

"Because Jane was kissing Erica."

"So what? He's an adult, he's not married, not seeing anyone, hell he's been a monk for nine years. Don't you want him to move on?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why does this upset you?"

"Because he shouldn't be moving on with her!" Lisbon argued with that voice in her mind. "He should be with someone better than Erica Flynn."

"Like who, you?"

"Of course not me," Lisbon shot back shaking her head, "Why would that thought even be out there?"

"I don't know, maybe because you are crying like a lovesick teenager who just spotted her high school crush making out with the head cheerleader."

That thought made Lisbon stop cold with a sharp intake of breath.

The phantom voice in her head was right. Why was she sitting in a parking lot bawling her eyes out over Jane? Why was the sight of Erica and Jane kissing making her feel sick to her stomach? She should be angry that he was kissing a convicted criminal. But she wasn't angry, no; instead she was acting like a jilted girlfriend.

What was wrong with her? Why was this so upsetting?

"Because you wanted it to be you."

She shook her head but it didn't clear away the truth. The truth was right in front of her, staring at her in the rearview mirror where she saw her red eyes, the skin of her cheeks wet with tears and deep purple imprint of her teeth on her knuckle. She would just have to accept it for what it is.

But God help her, it hurt so much.

She sniffled again and let out a sight, wiping her cheeks once more. Then Lisbon started her car. She had a job to do, an interrogation to attend and a murder to solve. She would do what she had done for years, bottle everything up and wait for the pain to ease.

The day following Erica Flynn's escape was a bad one and Lisbon wasn't the one taking the brunt of it. Wainwright was having to answer to his superiors about him signing her off into custody which turned out to be a ruse, the fact that he'd been the one to agree to releasing her only made things worse. He'd already sheepishly admitted to Lisbon that he should have listened to her but Lisbon wasn't one to say, "I told you so." Besides, Wainwright wasn't the one she was upset with.

It had been Jane's idea to release her, his insistence that she could help them on the case. Jane had also been the one having a nice cozy dinner with Erica before she'd escaped. When Lisbon had found out about said dinner she'd been left with a bad taste in her mouth. But she didn't cry this time. She also didn't tell anyone about what she had seen in the hotel room.

It didn't stop her from giving Jane the silent treatment.

Unfortunately, Jane seemed pretty morose himself. She didn't know why, maybe he felt like he had failed them. Or maybe he was just missing his new girlfriend.

That thought made her clench her teeth for the fortieth time that day. She needed to get a grip on this before someone accused her of being jealous. It was ridiculous. She wasn't jealous.

And eventually when she said that enough it would be true.

Lisbon didn't say anything when Jane entered her office and sat down on the big white couch. She didn't acknowledge his presence but kept her eyes pointed on the paperwork on her desk, even as she gripped the pen in her hand so hard it hurt. She wanted to yell and scream but she wasn't about to give him that satisfaction. She'd had enough of his screw-ups lately. He could kiss whomever he wanted, she didn't care.

God she sounded like a complete idiot.

"It seems a bit chilly in here," Jane remarked playfully. He always said something like that when she gave him the silent treatment and Lisbon couldn't stop herself from looking up and giving him her pointed death glare. But she turned her eyes back to the paperwork immediately; she wasn't going to play this game with him.

Jane must have figured that out. He stood up from the couch and approached her desk. "I know you are upset about what happened with Erica." That made her freeze, did he know? "But I had nothing to do with her escape."

Oh, that was what he was talking about.

"This wasn't from any fault of yours," Jane pointed out.

Lisbon put the pen down and met his eyes now. "A prisoner escaped from custody because of a case my team was working on."

"But like I said, it wasn't your fault."

"I followed your lead, I listened to you and agreed to let her work this case. She was my responsibility, Jane. Just like you are my responsibility. I take the heat every time you get up to your normal hijinks and I'm going to take the heat for this until Erica is caught," Lisbon reminded him icily. She picked up her pen again and turned back to her paperwork, determined to ignore him once more.

She heard him release a deep breath but he didn't move from his stance in front of her desk. "Erica called me."

Lisbon's pen paused mid stroke. That same bitter taste filled her mouth again. Had Erica been calling him for another rendezvous, to gloat over her escape, or maybe to thank him sweetly for a night of passion? She'd never wanted to hurt someone like this but she really wanted to mar Erica's pretty face right now.

But she turned her anger towards the man in front of her.

Her voice was calm but with barely contained anger. "An escaped prisoner called you and you didn't tell me?"

"I'm telling you now."

"You should have told me the second she called."

"Why? Erica wasn't going to stay on long enough to trace her call, she's undoubtedly on the shores of some beautiful foreign coast, enjoying the sunshine and the thrill of her victory." That tropical image made Lisbon want to scream again. Jane's gaze focused on hers, searching her with his eyes. "I know you're taking this hard, you're angry because I insisted she be released, which is why you are acting like the kid who lost his chess match."

"And you're acting like a jilted teenage boy."

The awkward silence that followed told Lisbon that she'd inadvertently spoken those words aloud. Now her cheeks flushed from embarrassment but she couldn't stop herself from looking back up at Jane.

His face was a mask of cold resolve, his eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her. "Oh come now Lisbon, you have to explain that."

His flippant response served to work her ire up once more. She shoved the paperwork aside and glared at him. "I'd like to know what happened between you and Erica," she said icily.

Jane shrugged. "Nothing."

For once, Lisbon knew for sure Jane was lying. "Oh really? So you didn't follow her around the last two days like a lovesick puppy? Do you have any idea how bad this is, Jane? You were having, what any normal person would construe, a date with the woman minutes before she escaped from custody."

"That wasn't a date."

"Then what was it? Explain it to me, Jane."

Jane held up his hand in a gesture of nonchalance. "I was simply trying to catch her, I knew she was planning to escape, I simply didn't anticipate that she would see through that ruse."

Lisbon nodded bitterly. "So that's it. Nothing else happened?" He didn't say anything, he didn't tell her otherwise.

Then the words just tumbled out.

"So I suppose you weren't kissing her in her hotel room?"

And there it was.

Lisbon stood up from her desk and gestured furiously, she couldn't look at him. Instead she vented out all of her anger. "Funny thing about hotel rooms, they have windows. How could you be so stupid, Jane? She's a murderer! One you helped put away. You know, it's bad enough sleeping with a prisoner, but then she escaped afterwards! Give me one good reason why you should be suspected of helping her!"

"I didn't sleep with her."

She stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard his words. His voice was so soft, so gentle…and sad. When Lisbon met his eyes again all she saw was absolute guilt and remorse, a bitter man that was filled with so much pain. "Oh," she gasped out. But this wasn't from being mollified by what he didn't do. This was from seeing that he hated himself for what he did.

And just like that, the anger melted away.

"If you had stayed a couple of seconds more, you would have seen me pick up my jacket and leave," Jane finished, his voice still soft with guilt and pain.

Now Lisbon was feeling horrible and regretted bringing it up. Stupid jealousy. Jane was already in so much turmoil with this deadly game he played with Red John, but she'd had to twist that knife around some more. Jane didn't need any more pain; she just couldn't fathom why he seemed to want to pile on some more.

"I'm sorry, Jane," she told him in barely more than a whisper.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Lisbon didn't miss the implication that he had.

Right now all she wanted to do was hold him, to comfort him in his time of self flogging but she sensed that it wouldn't be the right the to do. "It will be okay," she said softly, "life goes on, you know?" Jane nodded but didn't meet her eyes. Now she felt a lump in her throat. Why couldn't she help him? What did she have to do to make him see that this wasn't going to change anything? She hated seeing Jane in pain day in and day out, and she knew that this was only making everything so much worse.

Somehow Lisbon's heart overruled her head and she reached over to grab his hand. Jane's surprised eyes met hers as soon as he felt her warm touch. She held his gaze with a very soft look. "You are a good man Patrick Jane. As much as you hate yourself…that will always be true."

She watched as a flurry of emotions crossed over his face. Shame, guilt, pain…and gratitude. He looked at her with what only could be described as tenderness and he squeezed her hand gently. Lisbon was just captivated by his eyes and she felt her heart thudding in her chest. God help her, she wanted this so much.

But the last thing she wanted to do was to give Jane any more guilt than he already felt.

So Lisbon stepped away with a small smile. "I have to finish some paperwork," she reminded him but caught his eyes once more. "Promise me you'll get some sleep tonight somewhere besides your attic?"

Jane gave a very tiny smile and nodded simply. It would do.

She watched him walk slowly out of her office, sighing once his back was turn before sitting back down. She felt exhausted and sad. This had been a horrible few days for her, but what made it worse was now she knew that it was only just beginning for Jane.

And now she knew what she wanted. Stupid really, Jane wasn't going to turn around and see her. She needed to let it all go.

But she had a feeling that that would be impossible.

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Jane had entered Lisbon's office knowing exactly what would happen. It had been important to finally unleash everything that had happened so they could work past it. The guilt and shame he felt wasn't going to go away, but he was glad that Lisbon's anger was finally resolved.

She really was terrible at hiding her emotions, especially when she was jealous and in pain. He'd have known that she'd seen his indiscretion with Erica from the pain in her eyes, even if he hadn't seen her slumped in her car crying.

That image had made everything worse, seeing how it was no longer only himself that he was hurting. The best thing he could do was to take a step back but he honestly had no idea how he could do that. He knew now that it was far too late, he was in too deep.

Lisbon had no idea that it wasn't just his wife's face that he had seen that had made him step away.

A/N: Well what did you think? I hope you guys like it, please review (but I'd prefer it if no one left long rants about the episode, thanks)