"Kneel, soldiers."
The soldiers all humbled themselves, with the Corporals being the exceptions. Wall Maria's breach had been the last straw; too many men had died, too many titans were let in. The men and women lined up in the courtyard wore faces bruised and scarred by the battles lost repeatedly, despair and disdain the only emotion clearly painted. Erwin Smith stood before them, his emerald cloak whipping against the violent winds of the Northern Territory. His men were running on nothing, most of their families gone and homes demolished due to the titan raids. Few men showed the morale needed to survive, and they were not enough to keep humankind from disappearing.
The king's decree was a low blow, considering that Erwin's division was suppose to be the most heroic of them all. Reinforcements were not suppose to be an option, but it suddenly became a reality the troops reluctantly had to accept.
"Are you ready, Levi?"
The man next to Erwin said nothing, for words could not articulate in a way that wouldn't display an unnecessary amount of rage. Steely eyes stayed stoic and still as they watched their new additions approach with reverence and eloquence. Their cobalt robes descended to their calves, closed and faces expressing nothing more than boredom. The White Lotus was formed in a purposeful shape, their steps rehearsed and strategic as they shielded their most valued commander in the center: the Avatar.
An elder approached Erwin with a sad smile, his eyes looking up at the young leader. This was a tender moment for all these men, their faiths all depending on relics that have gone down in history as the most powerful beings. Renowned for their wisdom, skill, and fierceness. There were few of them left, perhaps the entirety of the bending population no larger than three thousand. Earth, fire, water, and air all have struggled to increase their populations to no avail. Their people still inhabited these ancient lands, but they all lacked the ability to bend. Benders part of the White Lotus were honored and revered as wonderful soldiers, but highly reserved It would have been an honor to fight beside them... If only it were not because they were the last hope.
"Erwin, my boy. How have you been? You look strong." Feng said kindly, cheerful in attempts to lift the frown of the man's face. He was a short man, quite plump for a soldier, but the mos designated Elder of the White Lotus. Ancestors before him had created the elite group, so he was essentially the face of the White Lotus.
Just as Erwin was the face of the Survey Corps.
Erwin's once emotionless expression faltered, closing his eyes momentarily. "We have seen better days, Feng."
Levi watched in curiosity. He had known that Feng was one of Erwin's mentors, he had that old man on the highest pedestal, glorified as an eternal aspiration. There was no doubt as to why; his ruthlessness, wisdom, success, and overwhelming kindness made him one of the most admired men in the human race.
Just as Levi's volatile demeanor and stamina made him humanity's strongest soldier.
Feng nodded in understanding, resting a comforting hand on Ermin's tensed shoulder, and giving Levi a respectful nod. The younger man returned the gesture, fully aware that Erwin's morale was also diminishing before an entire army. The elder's eyes then ventured to the hundreds of men behind the corporals, a sea of defeated glances all eyeing the old man and his group of relics.
"Soldiers. Rise." He spoke authoritatively.
Automatically, they stood from their kneeled positions.
Agony was written on some of their faces, others swayed against the air around them, as if the tragedy physically choked them and shoved them from their very spots. Feng turned slightly and nodded his head to the two men standing before the protected individual.
"Raina, may step out." The old man said lowly, his words only meant to reach his men.
Levi had a frog lodged in his throat, his eyes locked on the human wall opening to reveal a person he had not seen for years. A knot had formed in his chest, his heart yanking and tugging relentlessly inside of him.
"Fine! I'll run away! I'll run so far you will never see my face again! Maybe you'll finally be happy then!"
Levi scoffed at the girl, her emotions always getting the best of her. It was realistic, what he had said. She could not stay with him anymore, people always seemed to get the wrong idea... And her talent was becoming too great to be constrained here in this underground hell. The world was in need, people were perishing exponentially, without justice or reason. Levi had tried time and time again to hide her from the clutches of the public eye, the last avatar having been murdered for not fulfilling his duty. It was disgraceful to see how the awe-striking legacy of Aang was followed by scum like avatar Kon. However, she could never compare to him, and Levi was well aware she was their last hope. Sending her off to be with her people was not wrong. It was not wrong to hand over the possible key to saving humankind.
But, hell did it felt wrong. Deep within Levi, he knew that he didn't want to let her go. Two years with her, and her presence proved to be the only comfort he'd ever felt. No, they weren't affectionate or loving in any way, quite the opposite in fact. He was always brash and crude with her, never showing any kind of tenderness. But, it was that reassuring companion they both craved, knowing that they each needed each other. He found himself regretting his words, regretting taking her, regretting saving the girl he found nearly dead in the alley.
His memory never failed to whip his mind with the only words she had every really said to him. Raina was assumed mute, her mouth had never opened unless it was to greet or apologize. It made his life easier, for she could never retaliate if her opinion differed from hers. He had awoken the next morning to find the girl gone. There was a lapse in his memory, his panic had overwhelmed him as he searched his home violently, running to the streets to see who had taken her. But, the realization merely dulled him and choked him painfully that she had taken him seriously; she had left without ever saying goodbye. Levi had found himself all alone again, alone in a home once filled with so much comfort. This time, however, he was left alone with the horrid sensation that only plagued careless fools: heartbreak.
The pain subdued over time, but it seemed like heartbreak found him to be the perfect inhibitor. Time and time again, his soul was wretched into pieces and then patched with thin material. Joining the Survey Corps also helped in a contradictory kind of way. Death seemed to permeate around him, but it only desensitized him more from the pain this losing those who have cared. Granted, no one truly knew when Levi felt anything, he masked it quite well. Kya emerged with the elegance he knew she'd learn to have from being trained. What he did not expect was the pathetic truth that came from growing up much too soon.
She was beautiful.
Only her profile could be made out from the angle in which he and Erwin were standing, but the sight of her winded Levi. He had known she would be. At fourteen, she was awkwardly cute in her special kind of way. She was filthy, usually, hair scraggly and clothing much to big for her. Perhaps he found her oddly endearing that way. Eyes were always shielded with overgrown bangs, facial expressions always easy to read. Her faith in people was alarming, for she trusted too easily. It had always annoyed the crap out of him, but it never compared to her smart mouth and audacity. Now, before him, and the hundreds of soldiers behind him, stood a woman with long hair that reached past her shoulder blades. Not a hair touched her pale face, for it was pinned back with the beads from the Northern Water Tribe. Grey, doe-like eyes absorbed everything before her, shifting and observing like they always did. Short- she was still much too small in stature, but so was he, so he never truly cared. Tall men surrounded her protectively, many lined up behind.
Erwin, turned to the troops, Levi followed slowly. The eyes staring back were transfixed on the strange individuals before them. Levi eyed his subordinates; Eren, Armin, Jean, even a recently concussed Mikasa. They were all confused, for none of them knew what was happening.
"Brave soldiers, I would like to congratulate you on your efforts, on your victories through these horrible times. We have come not to take your place, but to fight alongside the most highly regarded military group humankind has to offer. I have collected my best men, and the Avatar herself to help you. Today, we will be assisting those who have fallen. She, along with the other water benders will be tending to those who are wounded. Those who wish to be healed, please continue forth to the open hall in twenty minutes. When you arrive, please ask one of these cloaked individuals where to go. Different wounds will be designated to different healers."
Levi let out a breath, as he felt slightly relieved that his speech was not long or overbearing. Murmurs and harsh whispers were emerging, but Erwin's voice dismissed them effectively. They disassembled and formed small groups of obvious gossip, turning constantly to look at Raina.
The short man was nervous, though his face showed no sign of it. His anticipation ate him from the inside out. All he wanted to do was look at her, he wanted to just take a moment and soak in what she has become.
When the clearing emptied, Feng turned around to his soldiers, "At ease, men. There's no danger yet."
The men collectively let out breathes and some of them began to talk instantly, as if this were a casual outing. Raina was suddenly out of view, but Feng stuck his hand out, and motioned the girl to come with him to speak with the corporals.
She emerged from the crowd, and Levi blanched. Raina followed Feng obediently, and took the few steps to stand next to him before Erwin and Levi.
Look at me, you mangey brat. Levi thought aggressively. Her eyes were casted downwards at the dirt. Vacantly staring as Feng spoke.
"Your men are tired, Erwin."
"There is no need to tell me. I see them every day."
Feng held a face of worry, reaching up to stroke his silver bread. "There is nothing more disheartening than seeing soldiers with the eyes of prisoners."
The words struck Erwin sadly, feeling the need to defend his people, "Not all of them are that way, Feng. Many of them still have heart."
"Some cannot fight for all, boy. They need to be revived."
"Well that's why you're here, isn't it." Erwin sighed, but joked lightly. Feng released a deep chuckle, his jolliness reaching his eyes faintly. Levi sighed quietly, startling the man next him a bit, but also reminding him of his presence. It was then that Erwin realized that Levi had not said a word this entire time. The boy had always been somewhat rude, or rather, very rude. He stared at the girl almost menacingly, obsessively even. Erwin knew vaguely as to why. Levi had mentioned the girl several times, but the tales were told coldly, emptily. He'd have to ask about it later.
"Raina's a great healer, she'll have them in good shape in no time. Isn't that right Raina?" Feng said, looking at the girl with a soft smile. She finally looked up, giving returning the expression.
"It is a pleasure and an honor to meet the Avatar. You have been accredited highly among the walls." Erwin said, reaching his hand out to shake hers. Raina's eyes reached his and it was then that Erwin found out why Levi was so entranced. Besides the strikingly intimidating beauty, the girl had an alarming detail on her face. Levi had been staring relentlessly at the obvious scar that ran from the top of her cheekbone, all the way down to her jaw in a straight and jagged line. It wasn't fresh, the skin around it blending in to the darker tissue. The scar was just there, standing out on a face that seemed to express nothing more than what was expected. Erwin found himself staring for a moment to long, and it was no secret as to why. Raina knew, it was usually the first thing anyone saw, or anyone cared to look at.
It took several years for her to get over the scar, and eventually she decided to ignore it all together. She pinned all the hair away from her face, clearing it and making it known that she simply did not care anymore.
Raina's small hand reached into his large one and shaking it firmly.
"The pleasure is all mine." She spoke, her voice soft and velvety, never failing to sound strange to her own self. Levi winced visibly, as if sandpaper had been scraped onto his skin. Her voice had changed, Obviously. But she was so different all together, so stupidly beautiful. The reaction made her look to him, eye contact finally being made between the two troubled souls. Emotions swirled in her eyes, and it took a fool to not realize it. However, she masked it with another breath-taking smile and reached out her hand to shake Levi's. His reaction was robotic, gripping her hand in a vice and shaking it once before letting go. She could see it, he let her see it.
She saw his stone cold rage, seeped into his steely eyes.
Feng was unfazed and seemed to not have caught on to the strange encounter. "Alright then, let's get started!"
She had to escape for a moment.
The sun had fallen dormant, lost somewhere under the horizon as the moon and stars shone in the black sky. Raina was tired, to say the least. Men and women's blood and tears had blinded her for the past three hours. They never stopped coming, asking for healing and solace in her. She listened and hushed and coddled the individuals as they expressed their agony. She doubled as a counselor and a healer today, and the toll was much greater than she thought it would be.
Papa had warned her that it would be rough, that she'd witness all the same things that she saw when they went on missions with her tribe's troops. There was so much red, and today was no different.
She leaned on the balcony and took a deep breath, keeping it as her heart lurched. Levi had given her a look she knew well. He used to give it to her sparsely kid, but it was one that stuck with her nonetheless. She never figured out what it meant, for that kind of emotion was much too intense. It was more than just painful, it swirled along the lines of rage and discontent. But, it also held something else, as if the anger were not at her.
To say she didn't miss him would be a lie, because through the years, an ache had permanently resided in her chest where Levi's mark had burned. Raina believed in her heart that he hated her. Blaming him would not be just, this she knew; she left him suddenly, and never once looked back. Granted, he had hurt her feelings, but that reasoning was childish now. And so, sometimes it seems plausible that he did not care that she left, that he wanted her to leave him alone. She didn't know which reason hurt her more.
Her head fell onto the railing in frustration, rubbing softly against the cold iron. It almost stung, but she continued on and on, in hopes that maybe her mind would think of something other than that cursed man.
"That railing is filthy."
She tensed instantly, not moving from her position, but rather retracting instinctively. Levi watched the reaction void of any expression. Raina always reacted that way when surprised.
His footsteps were nonexistent, and didn't feel them approach her in the slightest. Always too sneaky. Her head lifted up slowly, not really wanting to turn around, but longing to see him before her without the pressure of anyone else. Her body turned on its own accord, facing him and finding his eyes staring boredly at hers.
And there she was, her brows furrowed in slightly, her supple face showing mild distress. Irritation peaked within her to find out his face remained impassive and stoic. The same expression he always wore. However, it burned her, it burned harshly because she knew what he was staring at. Though it usually would never bother her, the gaze was too sharp and it made her feel like a something beyond ugly. Not being able to take it any longer, she turned her head away, the scar out of view but his eyes still watching. Levi meant to make her look away, he wanted to know if he still had her wrapped around his finger.
"I was attacked before I reached the water tribe. Old man with a blade." She clarified, startling him slightly.
He watched her profile, unchanging but wary of his glance. "You should have been more careful."
"I was as careful as a fifteen-year old could be, sir." She replied, looking back at him with a hooded look.
He retracted from the scar and looked her once over, a bit surprised by how much she spoke. "You speak so well. Definitely never articulated like that when you lived with me." He teased. Levi didn't know why he said it, but he couldn't help but bring up a piece of the past.
"I was quiet, not illiterate like you" She retorted with a cool tone, eyes narrowing slightly at him. Amused, she was not. He merely blinked, infuriating her a little more. Little did she know that he was fishing for answers and reactions. He wanted to figure out if she had changed. But the longer she stared at him, she found a million reasons why to hate him. They were hidden behind reasons as to why she could never.
Levi had always been handsome. Even when she was little, she always knew he was a good looking man. He held a certain masculinity about him, retaining a youthful appearance but an old soul. He was older, cool, calm, and abnormally collected. He rarely smiled and was as affectionate as the blades he used to slaughter titans. Older he was, by a good eight years in fact, and maybe that's what stirred her now. The man she had adored silently had become a man she had grown to love without him ever being there. The idea of Levi loving her, caring for her like someone more than just a friend or a burden made her swell with an inconceivable emotion.
Levi, too, narrowed his eyes at her acidic remark.
"Watch how you speak to me, brat. Your high and mighty act doesn't impress me."
"Good thing I don't care for your opinion." She replied easily, turning around to look out to the sky again. Levi let out a humorless chuckle, condescending her. Raina twitched in annoyed fashion.
"If all you want to do is belittle me," she stated, "then leave." She didn't look back, for she could not handle that heated stare. It made her feel self-aware and scrutinized.
"You don't give orders to a corporal, it's bad manners."
"Maybe I'll leave, instead. You don't bother with me when I do that, sir." She said angrily. Her words tasted bitter as she said them and she knew well that they hit a nerve. The man sucked in a small breath and the air stood still before he made another sound. Her mind screamed and yelled at her for acting so rashly. At twenty-two, she still didn't know when to hold the tongue she never used until recently. Levi tsked, and she knew he was fuming. The girl had dared to blame him for her leave, spite him for her mistake. Blinded by white, blazing madness, he roughly grabbed her by the hair she adorned so perfectly on her pretty head, and dragged her inside. Stunned and confused, Raina could do nothing more than stumble and grip the hand that yanked her into the sparring room that was behind the balcony. Her memory was suddenly sent to the rare times Levi was truly angry, those times where he did use force to get a message through.
But she was never afraid.
He shook her to get her attention, causing her to wince and display a snarl of rage. "You don't have a right to speak to me that way, pest." He sneered to her face, her expression mirroring one of disgust.
"You don't have the right to touch me, you beady eyed freak." She hissed back, her warm breath hitting his face. Her façade was falling through holes and cracks, hints of her anger shining through, but Levi wanted more. A masochist he was at that moment, for he wanted her to inflict anything on him. She could spit, hit, claw, and drag him through a bed of nails. Levi didn't care what she did or said, he wanted her to yell at him, he wanted her to hate him. He wanted an excuse to never want to think of her again, to push her so far away that her pretty never appears in his mind.
Raina wiggled, but his hand squeezed her painfully. Growling, she yanked and pulled, but to no avail. "Get off of me, Levi. Or so help me God-"
"Or what? You're going to run again?"
"I will, I'll run so far away you'll never see me again." She whispered loudly, making sure he had to really listen to understand the poignancy of her words. Infuriated, Levi through her away from him. She almost fell from the force, but she managed to stay up. Her hair was falling from its hold, little strands messily straying from her polished image. Meters away, she could still feel the heat of his body, of his rampaging heart as he spit absurdities.
"If you got that nasty scar you first damn time running away, you probably won't make it your second. Make sure to get your babysitters to take you."
Raina scoffed in disbelief, smiling hollowly at his brash words. "They do a better job of taking care of me than you ever did."
Not to her surprise, Levi was more collected than she was. He was angry, that was clear, but he really was never one to raise his voice. She, on the other hand, was ready to skin the man alive. Levi dragged her closer, making sure his forehead smashed against hers. Close; he was so close to her it was suffocating, heavy breathing hitting his lips as he pressed her closer to him. Raina's eyes had gone wide, his eyes glaring ferociously at her.
"Perhaps they do, they probably don't have to deal with you bolting every time someone tell you something you don't want to hear." He said lowly, glaring at her under his dark, fringed hair. A sudden change occurred on Raina, her body becoming very still as she processed his words. Breathing ceased to hit his mouth and he realized how much he liked her so close, so expressive. Disgusting, he thought. Horrifying it was to see how much he desired the girl to just be near him. Sickening as it was, her presence was something beyond addicting, and being deprived of her for so long has made him act in ways he should never. He knew; his words were beyond uncalled for. She was never a runaway, Raina was a good girl. She always had been.
But she didn't have to go.
It was all a blur, but Levi caught the sight of blue flames right in time to dodge them. The girl's fists radiated in blue heat as she sent flames towards him. Much to her ever-growing frustration, he was never touched, escaping each throw she launched at him. It wasn't long before she was done. Flames evaporated with the flick of her hands, a finger jabbing his way as he stood meters away from her.
"Shut up! Just shut. Up! You miserable, useless coward! I did what you asked of me! I left, and you told me to never look back." She spat. Raina was walking towards him with every poisonous word she said, her eyes crazed and face contorted sadly.
Levi was about to respond when she interrupted, "And you know what, Levi? I never did, I never, ever looked back. Because I know you would never look back for me. You would never say goodbye." She said, her words low and biting. Tears welled in her eyes as she glowered at him menacingly. To her dismay, his expression changed very little. Instead of furrowed brows, his face was unreadable. A storm had commenced between them and there was no predicting what would happen next. All she knew was it wasn't going to end well.
He didn't speak, his body looming over like a statue of some sort. Raina roughly wiped her eyes, scratching her scar roughly in the process. It began to sting, and suddenly she found herself with the dire need to leave. Oh, how she wished he'd say something, anything. Whether it would make her mad or make her cry, all she wanted was to have him to say something, because all she wanted was to hate him.
"I'll leave this time." He managed to say. "I'll walk away, and I won't look back."
Raina tsked in anger, about to approach him violently, a fist bunched and ready to strike before he uttered words that shattered all rage she had felt before.
"But I'll do it right this time."
The young avatar froze a few feet away from Levi with nothing more than a blank expression plastered on her face. Corporal Ackerman was crestfallen in all literal sense, his hunched position, however, allowing for his hooded eyes to meet hers.
His feet carried him heavily to where she stood, where she stayed paralyze. It felt like hours passed before he reached her, his scent penetrating the air. Raina's eyes looked at him warily, staring at his face. She could hear his slow breathes, and she knew he could hear her labored ones. There was heavy silence as he neared her further, Raina still unmoving from her spot. His gaze met hers and she almost moved back, until his hand snatched her arm. Levi yanked her forcefully to him, almost winding her as his arms crushed her to his chest. Muscles in her body tensed and she went rigid with electricity. He was holding her much too close, too tenderly for what it should be, and it was sinful that she was holding him back in the same fashion. I should just run now, run and avoid this, she thought. Nerves consumed her, all she wanted to do was leave, but it wasn't going to happen.
A shaky breath escaped Raina when Levi's lips brushed against her forehead, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. They were soft as they ran slowly over her forehead, reaching the start of her scar. Slowly, he pressed softly there, making sure he left the spot wet. Releasing slowly caused the spot to grow cold, making Raina release a shaky breathe. He shouldn't have, but his tendons moved on their own as he caressed his lips down her head, over her eyes, down her nose, on her cheeks, and the corners of her mouth. There was no point in hiding, her stomach has been revolting against her. Knots and butterflies were fighting her stomach and making her heart run wild.
Levi savored it the feeling of her being so close, so distraught by his ministrations against her. It was far too addicting to see her slightly lean into every touch, to see all the resolve she held crumble under useless affection they both viciously craved.
Levi had missed the chit with an undeniable fire, but there was no way on the hellish earth he would admit. Verbally, he'd dare not utter any form of inclination he had towards her, and it was established long before today. Levi knew he would see her one day, but it was beyond his comprehension that the encounter would end like this.
His forehead reached hers, and he rubbed it longingly.
Raina's face lifted up, eyes still closed as she searched for whatever he was willing to give her.
Levi finally lifted his arm and slid his hand behind her neck firmly, gripping the hair and warm skin. As if it were possible, he brought her close to him, their bodies touching and noses brushing together.
"You take everything you can get." Levi muttered, breathe tickling Rain's lips. The girl smiled slightly, letting out a shaky breathe. The man held her tighter if possible, and she willingly got closer, lips touching his chin in a begging suggestion.
It was suddenly overwhelming the way she was disposed to give affection in ways he never knew could. It was too much in too little time, as if their time beforehand had been something as intense as their encounter now. He adored her, but was never infatuated.
Now, he could never say the same.
Levi stepped back in a rush of air, Raina nearly losing footing as his heat dissipated into the distance he put between them. Her eyes opened and furrowed, staring at his same expression. The moonlight hit behind him, his face shadowed but clearly unwilling to pursue the passion she was already so willing to give. He saw the shift, the way his rejection morphed her into the plastic doll she was when she came into the camp. The burn of her cheeks faded and her face settled into nothing. Her hands fixed her noble robe, which was disheveled by his ministrations before she bowed in respect, a low blow to his heart.
When she rose, the expressionless face held two glassy eyes, and turned around to leave. Her footsteps echoed the large room, and Levi felt sickened by his aching.
"It cannot be that way, Raina. You know that." He said, arms crossing on his chest.
Raina, unsurprisingly, did not answer as she left. The door creaking still as she pushed it open. The candle lamp on the ceiling gave little glow, but he could see the little droplets that trained to the door, the silent tears of her emotions evidence of the pain.
He stared at them, nothing but a headache to console him, the wind drying them in their spots. She left again, silent like a thief in the night, leaving a storm in her wake. And he? An empty jewelry box with all his gold gone, a hollow tree all alone. She left like she had before, and the wound opened once more.