Tongue and Cheek

Don't try to be cute with me, 'Cause I know you hate yourself

-"Lady in the Blue Dress"

The winter wind of New York was biting bitterly against John's face as he walked the crowded streets. He checked his watch and saw the time; 1:32 AM. He had only gone out for a quick walk, to clear his head and it turned into him walking the maze-like streets for almost two hours. His hands shoved into the pocket of his plain black 'Metalica" hoodie. His hood up, covering his mess of fading blonde hair. His shoulders were stiff from trying to keep himself warm and he was walking with a fierce need. He just wanted to get home, so he can go to sleep and be warm.

He felt someone's shoulder collide with his; nearly knocking him off balance. Before he turned to apologize, he heard the shrill laughter of a girl. When he looked up he saw her; and both of their faces fell. He was looking at Kitty Pryde. Only this wasn't the youthful Kitty that he knew at the Academy. This Kitty looked tired; worn. Her hair was cut short and dyed a darker shade of brown than what he remembered. She wore a periwinkle blue dress that went down to her knees; one of the straps was hanging loose off her shoulder. However, the one thing he noticed the most were her eyes. It wasn't the dark make-up lining them; it was color. It looked dull. They bore the fading color of someone who grew up way too fast.

When she sees him, her smile instantly fades. She sighs; and quickly turns away, attempting to leave. She doesn't get too far. It seemed that she had had too much to drink and she lost her footing. She almost fell onto the hard concrete ground but an arm quickly wrapped around hers; steadying her. She looked up into his blue eyes.

"You're too drunk to get home in one piece. Let's get some coffee so you can sober up." He said quietly. Kitty reluctantly agreed and they both walked to the small café across the street.

John sat awkwardly across from Kitty at a small table. He didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to ask her so many questions. How had she gotten like this? What changed?

"So, what are you doing out so late?" John finally decided to ask. It was small talk, but it was a start. Kitty took a sip of black coffee and looked up at him with glazed eyes.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." She said coldly. This took John by surprise. He was here, trying to help her get home safely and she had to gale to be rude to him. It's not like he started it. He hadn't mentioned how he could smell the cigarettes on her breath; or that he could see the scars on her arms. In his mind, he was being a perfect gentleman.

"I'm making it my business." John said coolly, taking a sip of his own coffee (with French vanilla creamer).

"Why? So that you can blackmail me with it later? Or is this just a fun game to you? Seeing me like this?" Kitty exploded. John wasn't expecting something like this. Kitty had always been the sweet, quiet one when they were in school. She was friends with all the students and loved by all the teachers. He just wanted to know what broke her.

"I'm not getting any pleasure out of seeing you like this. I just wanna know-"

"Wanna know what, John?" She asked, looking at him expectantly. He was stuck. The words were there, but they wouldn't come out. He just stared into her dull brown eyes while the air nearly suffocated him with silence.

"Ya know what? I'm outta here." Kitty said as she quickly stood up, grabbing her black handbag; heading for the door. By the time John stood and threw money haphazardly on the table, she was already out the door. He had to run at full speed to catch up to her as she walked with a powerful will up the street.

The street was mostly empty; the occasional homeless person littered the street but they paid the two lost teenagers no mind.

"Kitty, stop! Stop it, I just wanna know!" John called to her as he caught up to her. He tried to grab her arm to turn her around but he just phased through her. In a moment of horrendous anger, Kitty turned to look at him. Stopping dead in her tracks. She looked up at John, with a fury in her eyes.

"Okay John, you wanna know? You really wanna know what's wrong with my life? Lets start with every nightmare I have had since that night at Alcatraz. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since that night. On top of that, I got used and thrown away but the one person I thought truly cared about me. But no, once his girlfriend could touch him he just dropped me like I was fucking trash." In her anger, she pushed John to emphasize her point; and he let her. He wondered how long it had been since she could get everything out. She had tears bordering her eyelids and he could feel her hands trembling every time her fists met his chest.

"All I wanted was some fucking respect. Some kind of sign that people knew who I was; knew how I helped them time and time again. Instead I always got looked over. Why is that? Why!?" She screamed at him. As her fists made for his chest again, he caught it. Stopping her. She took a deep breathe and looked up at him.

"What are you doing? You say you want respect? Why don't you go and get some? Because you're not going to get any like this Kitty. You're only going to get more people tearing you down if you live like this." He said as he held her arms close to him, letting his warmth heal her a bit.

"How would you know?" She asked bitterly.

"What, you think my life with the Brotherhood was any different than your life with the X-Men? You let your self get stepped on, people are just gonna keep walkin'. You have to stand up for yourself." John finished quietly, letting his words sink in. Kitty just looked at him. He knew she understood him, he was just hoping that he was getting through to her. His hand left hers as he lifted it to her eyes. Gently wiping a tear away, with it he removed some of her black eyeliner. Underneath he could momentarily see the Kitty he knew and remembered from all of his distant memories. His happy, shinning Katherine. For a brief moment, he thought he had her back.

"Let me help you." He said, his voice quivering. His hand rested on her cheek as he could see the fight that was going on inside her mind. After a few silent, aching moments she finally met his eyes again.

"I don't need your help." She said solemnly as she walked away. John didn't say anything; he knew she wouldn't listen. He had done what he could to save her, but she didn't want to be saved. He just watched her back as she disappeared into the horizon of the city streets.

He stuffed his cold hands into his hoodie pocket as he allowed one stray tear to slide down his scruffy cheek. Then, he turned and started walking back to his apartment; trying to shove away thoughts of the girl in the periwinkle blue dress.

The End