Know your stars…Know Your Stars… Know your stars…
Ron Weasley…dyes his hair
Ron: Um… no I don't.
Yes you do…
Ron Weasley…is a pickle
Ron: What? I'm a what?
Ron Weasley…is French
Ron: No I'm not. I'm British
Ron Weasley… his father was really short
Ron: Nuh-uh!
Ron Weasley…he likes pudding
Ron: WHY ARE YOU BEING SO RANDOM??
Ron Weasley… gets on people's nerves
Ron: I do?
Now you know Ron Weasley, the annoying, hair-dying, pudding-liking, French pickle who's father was really short.
Ron: Just SHUT UP!
No. I don't want to.
Ron: AUUUGGHHHH!!!
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
Hermione Granger… she's going to Candy Mountain
Hermione: I don't even know what that is!
Yes you do, because you're going there.
Hermione Granger… she's actually a gorilla
Hermione: Okay, that makes absolutely NO SENSE!
Hermione Granger… she wishes she were spongebob
Hermione: Not really.
Hermione Granger… she lives in a pineapple under the sea
Hermione: Enough with the spongebob!
Hermione Granger…She's a polka pole-dancer
Hermione: THAT IS A LIE!
Admit it!
Hermione: NO!
Hermione Granger… she eats puppies
Hermione: I DO NOT!
Now you know Hermione Granger, the pineapple-living, spongebob-envying, polka pole-dancing, puppy-eating, gorilla who's going to Candy Mountain.
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
Severus Snape… he's actually a woman
Snape: I am not.
Severus Snape… he's a klepto
Snape: Silence!
Severus Snape… he likes women's fashion magazines, because he's a woman!
Snape: I AM NOT!
You're in denial
Severus Snape… he hasn't washed his hair in 30 years
Snape: Yes I have!
Severus Snape… he's wearing those shoes with that outfit?
Snape: What's wrong with it?
Severus Snape… His brother is a goldish named Paul
Snape: I don't know anyone named Paul!
Severus Snape… he's addicted to cheese
Snape: I despise cheese!
Right. Just keep telling yourself that.
Now you know Severus Snape, the greasy-haired, kleptomaniac, fashion-magazine-reading, cheese-addicted man who's actually a woman with a goldfish brother named Paul.
Snape: I'll get you for this!
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
Lord Voldemort… he's not really a lord.
Voldemort: Yes I am! I will kill you for that!
Lord Voldemort… he's three years old
Voldemort: That's not true!
Lord Voldemort… that's not his real name
Voldemort: Actually, you're right.
His real name is Patsy
Voldemort: Grr….
Lord Voldemort… he got a nose job
Voldemort: NO I DIDN'T!
Elaine… he-
Voldemort: MY NAME IS NOT ELAINE!
Patsy… he does ballet
Voldemort: MY NAME IS NOT PATSY!
Now you know Patsy, the un-lord three-year-old ballerina with a nosejob.
Voldemort: GRRRR….
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
Albus Dumbledore… that beard isn't real
Dumbledore: Yes it is.
Albus Dumbledore… I LIKE POTATOES
Dumbledore: How interesting.