AN: This is my first all human story for this pairing and I hope you will enjoy it. Updates will be at least once a week but I will try to update as often as possible :D There also may be some OOC but I will try to keep them as close to their characters as possible xx
ALL RIGHTS GO TO CHARLAINE HARRIS!
Chapter one
Eric's POV
To say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. Getting drunk off my ass and accepting a dare off of my friends was just pure stupidity. But the bit I regret the most is that I actually went ahead with the dare and I actually tried to get my dick into an empty bottle, all for the sakes of $300. To be fair though I did succeed (how I did I will never know, what with me being a larger size than most men), so now I'm $300 richer, but on the bad side I'm stuck in the emergency room with my jeans around my ankles and my cock stuck in a fucking bottle. I refused to let my friends come with me after the ambulance had been called, I was still pissed at them for letting me actually go ahead and do the stupid fucking dare. I still remember the fucking night as clear as day, despite my alcohol intake.
"Hey, Northman, I bet you can't get your dick in this bottle" Sam laughs as he throws me an empty glass bottle. The mouth bit is larger than most glass bottles, I wonder if people actually design bottles for stupid drunken ass twats such as us.
"How much do I get if I succeed?" if I was even going to attempt to get Eric Jr in there I at least want compensation for if I succeed.
"You can have $50 off of each of us" Bill bargains but I just raise my eyebrow.
"$150? That's it? I demand I at least get $300 altogether if I succeed" I put forward my side of the bargain. They all look between each other before nodding their consent.
"Fine then, we'll each give you $100" Alcide agrees as he shakes my hand. With a smirk on my face I drink the rest of my beer; that must have been like my 5th maybe 6th beer? I can't remember and to be honest I really couldn't care, I'm about to get $300 richer. I grin at them as I drop my jeans and boxers, all of their eyes widening as they see the gracious plenty I have.
"More than I wanted to see" Alcide mumbles as he looks away, Sam and Bill following his lead straight after.
"Just because you're jealous of my cock size" I chuckle as I align my dick with the opening of the bottle. I think about the last woman I fucked, which must have been around about 5 hours ago, just so I can get myself hard.
Once my erection is up and running I slowly slide my cock into the bottle, actually surprising myself.
"It actually fits" I laugh as I look down at my genius work.
"Holy mother of fucking God. I didn't think you were actually going to do it!" Sam shouts out as he stares at my crotch. I raise my eyebrow in return before holding my hand out in clear demand of my money. They all groan as they place $100 each into my hand.
"Thank you" I grin at them as I place my new found fortune into my wallet. I place my wallet back into my jeans pocket before I try to pull the bottle off. But it isn't budging.
"Oh, fuck" I groan.
Why on earth I actually agreed to that stupid bet I will never know. But my luck soon turns around as the hottest blonde I have ever seen walks into my room where she gasps at what she sees. I smirk at her as I open my legs a little bit more, just to give her a better view of my package.
"Like what you see?" I challenge her with a raised eyebrow. She quickly rearranges her face into a more serious expression before ordering me to behave.
"So, Mr Northman, would you like to explain how you managed to get your…er…manhood stuck into this bottle?" she queries as she examines me, her face scrunching up.
"A drunken dare" I inform her as I watch her carefully. She gives a light tug on the bottle making me hiss at her in pain.
"It would seem that your genital area has swollen. We'll have to inject your penis with some medicine that will help reduce the swelling, you'll have to stay in tonight for observation" she tells me as she picks up my chart and jots something down on it.
"I'm sorry, but don't I even get to know your name?"
"Nurse Stackhouse, at your service" she smiles at me before placing my chart back down. Just looking at her makes me hard for her, and that only increases the pain as I grit my teeth to prevent myself from complaining. Stupid fucking hot nurse.
"Look, I can't stay here tonight. I have a business meeting in the morning and I need to be there" I insist, but all she does is throw me a sideways glance.
"Unless you plan on turning up to said meeting with your penis in a bottle, then please. Go ahead and go home. Don't expect me to give you sympathy when your manhood loses circulation and drops off" she shakes her head at me before leaving the room, leaving me there wide eyed. Did she just say I could lose Eric Jr if I didn't get this bottle thing off tonight? Holy mother of God. I'm going to fucking kill Merlotte, Compton and Herveaux for actually allowing me to shove my poor cock into a bottle. I'm going to miss one of the biggest meetings in my company all because of them. Just fucking great, my father is going to kill me when he finds out.
After a few minutes of my self-pity party, Nurse Stackhouse comes back in with a needle in hand. A big ass mother fucking needle at that.
"You're not putting that anywhere near my dick" I protest as she pulls on some elastic blue gloves.
"Mr Northman, unless you wish to keep your pride and joy I suggest you allow me to inject this. If you allow me to do this you could be out of here as early as tomorrow afternoon" she tells me as she squirts out some of the liquid that she has just put in the syringe. I hate needles.
"Fine" I groan as I close my eyes and brace myself, the feel of the needle pricking my cock making me breathe deeply to prevent me from shouting at the Nurse. I don't want to create a bad impression; I have high hopes in seducing this Nurse.
"So, do you do this often?" I try to charm her with my signature grin.
"What? Inject men's penises after they accepted a dare where they have to fit their private part into a bottle, while they were drunk? Oh, yes, I do that every day" she tells me sarcastically as she packs away the syringe and the throws her gloves into the bin.
"To say you're supposed to be a professional Nurse you're very rude" I point out, her shooting me a glare in return.
"Well, if you didn't harass me and try to flirt with me I actually might be a little bit nicer to you. But while you are being a complete ass, I'll treat you like an ass" she hisses at me before walking out of the door. It would seem someone has an attitude problem.
I sigh as I snatch my phone off of the bed where I scroll through my contacts until I come to a stop over my father's name. God, if you love me then please don't let him go mental at me over this.
"What is it, son? I'm very…busy" my father barks into the phone as I hear some giggling in the back ground. Ah, he's with his new cocksucker.
"I won't be able to make it to that meeting tomorrow morning, I'm in the emergency room and I've just been told I have to stay in until tomorrow evening" I inform him, holding the phone away from my ear ready for when he starts shouting.
"Son, you are nothing but a disappointment. I have had it with your ways and the second you get out of hospital I want you to phone me so you can meet up with me. We need discuss how to improve your ways; you have let me down far too many times. And before you start demanding why I haven't asked if you're okay, well, that is because Bill Compton phoned me up and told me about your situation" and with that he hangs up. Not raising his voice once at me.
It could have gone better, sure, but it also could have gone worse. I must say that I'm pretty happy with the results although I don't think I'm going to enjoy the meeting with my father. Just as I throw my phone to the side, the Nurse comes back in again; her scowl telling me that something hasn't quite gone right.
"What's up?" I inquire as I watch her walk around the room, not really doing anything other than drowning herself in her thoughts,
"Just the new Doctor, he won't stop flirting with me and just out there he patted my ass" she shakes her head in disgust, I feel my anger rise but why I feel angry about this I don't know. Maybe it's because I don't think it's right for a man to do that to a woman who obviously has no interest in him.
"Right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring my bad mood in with me, I just came to tell you that we will be moving you to a private cubical soon; we can't keep you in this emergency room forever" she tells me with a dazzling smile.
"That sounds good, but Miss Stackhouse I do have one request" I inform her as I watch her reaction closely.
"And what would that be, Mr Northman?" she practically purrs and boy my cock heard it.
"I want your number" and it wasn't a suggestion or a question. It was a pure and simple statement.
AN: So, do you all think it's worth continuing? Yes, no, maybe so? I would love to hear your thoughts xx