Changes II

By Milford

Don't own the characters unfortunately. Story is being written for entertainment purposes only and no profit is being made.

A direct sequel to Changes I. Life is full of changes for S&H after Gunther's shooting.

Chapter 1

Hutch

As I sat there, watching my partner sleep, I allowed the events of the day to catch up on me. It had certainly been an eventful day, and I'd learned a lot about the two most important people in my life. First, I'd found out something about my partner and best friend who was at that moment sleeping. Second, the woman I intended to marry--Louise, who was no doubt still furious with me, especially since I had chosen to visit Starsky instead of returning home. She was a problem that I'd have to sort out, but at that moment my only concern was for Starsky. She'd told me to get my priorities right. I don't know if they were right or not, but I was where I wanted and needed to be. I loved Louise, but she wasn't about to embark on a dangerous case and, as things turned out, it had been the right decision for me. Starsky and I had a long talk and a lot of things were clearer to me now.

To be honest, I'd been blown away by what he'd told me. It didn't surprise me that he was suffering from a lack of confidence, but his concern wasn't what I would have expected. His concern wasn't for getting shot again, although he'd told me somewhat ironically that he wasn't keen on that thought. He was far more worried that he'd get me killed. I have never had anyone love me as much as my volatile, strong-willed partner, and I could never wish for a better friend. However, I meant what I'd said to him; I'd always trusted him with my life and always would. I hadn't seen any hesitation with him on the streets. I knew we hadn't had to face any shootouts or fights, but my partner was back with me and I'd never doubted it. It worried me that he doubted it, and bothered me a lot that he'd kept it to himself for so long. I needed to talk more with him, as I didn't know how much Louise had to do with this. That was another subject I had to discuss with him.

I remembered the day he got his medical clearance to return to active duty. He'd seemed so delighted and relieved when he received the news, and I hadn't noticed any doubts in him at that time. I would have been surprised if he'd not suffered any doubts at all, but the magnitude of what he'd been thinking really threw me. But I'd kept things to myself, too. Until now, I'd never verbalized just how much he meant to me, or just how that day had changed my life forever. I'd just assumed, maybe hoped, that he knew what I was thinking. Most of the time he did. I'd never talked to him about my nightmares, about my fears of losing him. Instead, I'd taken refuge in joking and teasing, although never about the shooting. I could never joke about that. But I teased him and hoped we were back on track. However, it seemed I was wrong and I couldn't expect to get back on track when we were both hiding things from each other. I hadn't realized he was hiding things from me, but I knew I had my secrets from him. Secrecy had never worked for us before, and why I thought it would work now, I'll never know. I guess I just didn't want to talk about that terrible day when I thought I'd lost my best friend forever. I realized now that there were other ways to lose friends, and although I didn't think we were in any danger of drifting apart, I had woken up to the fact that we had to talk. To be more accurate, Starsky had woken me up by his announcement that he wanted to take this case in Las Vegas.

I could understand him feeling the need to prove himself, but I wasn't at all happy about how he wanted to achieve this. I knew I couldn't do it for him, but I could still be there--and would be there--as his back-up. Not because I had doubts about his ability, but because I trusted no one else to look out for him. There was no one else who would be prepared to lay down their life for him, but I would. I would do anything and everything to keep him safe. Louise had accused me of treating him like a child, but I didn't think I was. I was just doing what I'd been doing for the past ten years, being a partner to my partner, looking out for him. I just wished this case had nothing to do with cultists or Satanists. I could do without another round of different nightmares starting up, nightmares that saw my partner and best friend hanging by his wrists, dressed in a black robe, bruised and bleeding. The nightmares from the shooting were quite bad enough to deal with.

Louise. That had been another learning experience. I'd always assumed that she cared for Starsky. I guess it was unrealistic to expect her to care as much about him as I do, but I certainly expected her to want to help him through this difficult time. Instead of providing support, she was accusing me of overprotecting him. Perhaps I was; in fact, I couldn't really deny that. However, when you see your best friend die--realize that his heart actually stopped beating--it's more than a little difficult to let go. He'd been so weak and sick for such a long time, but he fought hard to come back. I'd always loved him, but never more than throughout this difficult time. He'd had his bad days and so had I, but he'd never given up. He was a fighter and Louise had been right when she said he was a tough, strong man, but he was also Starsky--my partner, my best friend, and it was hard to let go. Sometimes if you let something go, you can never get it back, and that scared me more than anything. I saw him looking so tired at times, and I could always tell when he'd had a bad night with nightmares. It made me both angry and sad to realize that he was trying to deal with this on his own. How could he shut me out now, after all we'd been through? Was it Louise's fault? Had she said something to him, or was he picking up on vibes that I hadn't noticed until now? I had little doubt of her true feelings after our argument that afternoon. She'd been upset because I wanted to find out what was going on with him and what this case was all about. I'd hoped she'd understand about Starsky, after all, she had been a nurse during his long hospital stay. Obviously, I'd been wrong and that was something we had to sort out.

I got up to make myself a cup of coffee. I wasn't happy about the case Starsky was taking on, although the fact that he'd agreed I could come to the briefing and to Las Vegas appeased me a little. Thankfully, getting that agreement had proven easier than I had expected. I shuddered at the thought of the case. Cultists, Satanists, possibly another Marcus situation. I hoped this wouldn't be as bad as it sounded, but I still had a feeling of dread that wouldn't diminish. I looked at the sleeping form, amazed again at how easily he could fall asleep, and stay asleep. If that had been me, I would have been awake like a shot if he'd got up to make coffee. He'd told me he was tired from another sleepless night, apparently having been worried about facing me today. I smiled at the thought. If it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation, I would have teased him madly about it. Somehow I couldn't laugh about it--not yet--and the time for teasing had passed. We needed to deal with reality, and he needed to catch up on his sleep before facing the briefing in a few hours' time. I wasn't about to disturb him. I wondered whether I should call Louise, but I decided against it. I didn't want to get into another fight with her at this stage. Whatever was decided at the briefing, it seemed very unlikely that I'd travel to Vegas with Starsky. I'd be following closely behind, but we couldn't afford to risk being seen together. I hoped the Vegas PD wouldn't give us a hard time about this, but it didn't matter if they did. I was going to back Starsky up come what may. There were still a few things I wanted to talk to him about before the briefing, but I decided against waking him up. He needed his sleep, so I settled back with my coffee to wait