I posted this on Tumblr three years ago, and I just realized I never posted it here or on FFnet. It's short and unedited from my 16-year-old writing skills, but I hope you think it's kind of cute.
"I… am joking."
I sucked in a breath. "Oh."
Don't let him see you cry, don't-
"Oh, God, Nessie, is that a tear I see? You know I just ca-ha-han't take it when girls cry. I hate it. I really do."
I stared at him, just waiting for something else to happen. He just gave me a well-get-on-with-it look and crossed his arms. No sympathy there. There never was.
No.
Normally I'd try to stand my ground. Say something awkward, but still in self-defense. Not this time.
So I walked away. Done. I didn't feel sad. Not desperate. Just angry. On-call room, supply closet, I didn't care. As long as I wasn't anywhere near him.
The not-caring thing really didn't work out too well.
My shift had ended a few minutes after I entered the on-call room, but there I was, three hours later, terrified to leave in case I ran into Dr. Cox. I flipped over for the millionth time and saw an embarrassingly familiar silhouette at the door.
"I don't want to hear it," I said simply.
"Come on, Newbie, I thought we had a nice little thing going on. I rag on you, you get over it, repeat if desired."
"I've been through hell the past few months, Perry," I spat. "You could cut me some slack, you know. Be a decent human being for once in your life."
He scoffed at my use of his first name. "Don't tell me you actually care about this. It's not like you'd ever get to do anything, really."
That made me sit up. "I do care! Being your kid's godfather would mean everything to me! And you know that!" My voice was getting a louder. I ignored it. "I have put up with everything you've thrown at me. Everything. Because I thought you were teaching me. I thought there was a purpose behind it. But no, you just like to hurt me. You think hurting people is funny. You can't go a day without belittling me and teasing me and screwing with my head to the point where I'm not even sure why I became a doctor anymore. Why I'm even fucking living… I…"
I swallowed. My voice definitely wouldn't support angry words anymore.
"I'm not gonna be a father, Elliot's with Keith, Turk's actually got a baby, and what do I have… a shitty father figure who antagonizes me at every turn."
I didn't even notice the tears going down my face until a box of tissues gently landed in my lap.
He looked at me, his expression almost remorseful. "Sorry," he said quietly.
"Not good enough," I whispered.
He nodded. "Well, you know where to find me."
His shadow became smaller as he left. I laid back on the bed, hugging the tissues to my chest. I pulled one out and dabbed my eye.
They were the soft kind.