Father to Son - Time to Talk

Carlisle is the father to all of the boys in the Cullen household and at some point has to sit them down and have 'the talk' with them. So just before each boy's first wedding he invites them into his office to give the sex talk. This what a Dad does, right? Canon pairing discussed.

Gross and Green

Edward POV

"Edward son, I want to talk with you," said Carlisle when I walked into the living room back from my overnight stay with my fiancé, Bella.

"W…What about dad?" I inquired a little anxious at his request.

Something had me nervous; Carlisle was blocking his thoughts from me so I couldn't read his mind to see what he was thinking. He couldn't possibly be upset about my staying over with Bella, could he? I have assured him that I am behaving as a proper gentleman should.

"Perhaps this would be better if we discussed this in my study," he suggested casually.

Oh, oh, what did I do now? I couldn't think of anything I had done to be called into his study. Carlisle rarely called one of us into his study unless he was about to be seriously reprimanded or worse. Besides I have been so busy since Bella accepted my proposal, that I haven't had any time to get into trouble.

I asked him hesitantly, "Is there something wrong? You are blocking your thoughts from me and I don't understand why."

"Edward, I am blocking my thoughts from you because I want to be the one in control of this conversation and not my son who can hear my every thought," he smiled.

So why was I still so nervous?

"Yes, Dad," I replied.

"No need to be so apprehensive my boy, we are just going to talk about things," Carlisle assured.

So we went into his study and had a seat. He sat behind hid desk and I took the chair opposite him. "So what do you want to talk about, Dad?" I asked.

"Well son, I understand that you have everything planned and ready for your upcoming nuptials," He begin slowly. I had no idea where he was going with this. "But I wanted to talk to you about your plans….. for your honeymoon…"

"Whoa, Dad you are seriously NOT about to give me 'the talk,' are you? I mean, come on, I am close to 100 years old now. There is a lot of information I don't know but that is not one of them!" I exclaimed filled with chagrin.

"Edward, calm down. There is no one here but us. Everyone is either out hunting or shopping. So we can talk freely and openly about whatever you feel the need to discuss."

"Dad, I assure you, I have nothing I want to discuss at the moment. I…"

"Have never made love to a female before, human or vampire. And yes son, you are nearly a hundred years old but you entered this life as a 17 year old and a virgin at that. So don't tell me you know everything you need to know and I hope to God you are not sitting there with information you have received from your brothers."

He smiled as he spoke and I visibly flinched at his assumption. They had decided to give me some advice and it entailed Emmett holding me down while he and Jasper regaled me with images of some of their most interesting feats of intimate actions with their wives. Then Emmett chortled, "That should give you some ideas of what to do with Bella on your honeymoon!" After that, they ran off before I could seek revenge.

"Yeah Dad. They kind of gave me something, but I wasn't taking them seriously," I explained sheepishly.

"Edward, do you know what you plan to do; or do you just plan on winging it with your new wife, who happens to be a human, a virgin herself and your La Tua Cantate….. your singer?"

He paused to let me think about that. Then he spoke again, "She's in your hands at that moment; you two are alone and her life is yours to take or to save, with no one else around - and you plan on winging it?" he rephrased his former observation.

Each time he spoke, I began to become more and more apprehensive. Was my father trying to talk me out of my honeymoon? I spend a lot of time trying to curtail Bella's overactive hormones and it appears that my dad was concerned about my own. Considering the points he made, I can't I blame him, however. I am 17 technically and I have never been intimate with a woman. My fiancé has a serious drive that I have been holding off since we got together. My desire for her is no less than hers but I tend to hold back due to my vampire strength and it is probably what has saved us both up to now. And to top it all off, Bella's blood is the sweetest, most inviting aroma I have ever encountered in my 90 odd years, thus designating her as my 'singer' because her bloods sings to or calls for me to consume it. So I guess I had better listen to my father and take this conversation seriously as painful as it is about to be.

"Okay Dad." I acquiesced, "What do you want to talk about?"

He spoke quietly and reverently then, "I thought I might tell you of how much care I had to take with Esme on our wedding night…"

I interrupted him immediately, "NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, Dad, PLEASE! You are not about to tell me about you and Mom's lovemaking techniques! I don't think I can handle that."

"I am still your father and you know your mother and I are very active in our…ah… intimacies."

"T. M. I. Dad! I know, but I don't really want to know, if you know what I mean?" I furrowed my brows and watched my own embarrassed features as they appeared in Carlisle's mind.

Carlisle chuckled, "I honestly don't understand you boys sometimes. I am actually starting to believe you are going to be more difficult than Emmett."

"Carlisle, why would you discuss Bella and my relationship with Emmett?" I asked definitely confused by this turn of conversation.

"No son, you misunderstand me. I am referring to a time when I had to have 'the talk' with your brothers, also. Although Jasper was with Alice already, I have conversed with them both on this subject before their first weddings also. "

"Whatever you could have said to both of them that they found helpful, does not even come close to mine and Bella's situation," I responded dejectedly.

I am nervous enough as it is, but to have to admit it in front of my father like this was beyond humiliation. As a learned and composed doctor and a coven leader as he is, Carlisle is still, in all manners that are important, my father. I wanted to fall through the floor. He began his list of suggestions to help me get through this with Bella's safety in mind.

I couldn't help thinking that this was all her fault since she is the one who was insisting on having this honeymoon while she was still human. Her rationale was that this is the one human experience she wanted before she was to be turned into a vampire like us. I tried to explain that technically this could not even be considered a human experience since she would be making love to a vampire, but if you knew Bella; you knew she would not be deterred from what she wanted. And I was notorious for giving my Bella whatever she wanted within reason.

"You will hunt several times before the wedding and every two or three days while you are on the island," my dad instructed.

"Yes sir," I answered more than compliant with these demands. I bet he didn't have to give those rules to my brothers I thought to myself.

"Edward, are you listening to me?" he asked as he noticed my faraway look.

"Yes, I am listening. Hunt often. I get that," I repeated.

"Now, have you considered how you will react to the breaking of her hymen? There will be some blood involved and I am wondering if perhaps someone should maybe be there the first time to make sure things don't get out of hand. Perhaps me or your mother or…"

"GOD! NO! Dad you are talking about my honeymoon. I don't want an audience especially my mother or my father in the next room while I do my wife for the first time," I exclaimed nearly shrieking in spite of myself.

"Perhaps one of your siblings, then; I recommend Jasper. With his abilities…"

"Carlisle could you stop and listen to yourself? Hello, honeymoon. Bella and I. First time. Hymen breaking, blood. Jasper. So not a good idea," I ticked off reasons hoping he would catch on quickly.

"Yes, I see what you mean. Perhaps that is not the best idea after all. Let me think for a minute."

I took an unnecessary breath to calm myself as he agreed with me.

"Let's get back to the actual act itself. If you would, may I suggest that you enter her slowly, allowing time for her body to adjust to yours. Once you are in all the way, perhaps you should think about holding your breath until your control is in check. Remember you will be highly aroused and so excited you can easily loose control. You don't want to go too fast or too hard considering your strength…"

"Oh God! Oh God! Carlisle, please stop. Dad, no, please can we not talk about this? Please Dad, please," I begged anxiously and piteously.

"I'm sorry son but you need to know these things. I am speaking to you as a doctor and as your father. I am trying to make sure things go the best way possible for the both of you."

"Carlisle, can we just stop now," I whined.

Yes, I whined like a tortured schoolboy. My dad was talking to me about having sex with my future wife. This was worse than anything my brothers could do to me. It really was kinda 'gross' as the teenagers of today would say.

"It's okay Dad. I think I get the message. How about we table this for now; while I go hunt? I think I need to run for a while."

"You do that son; we've got time to discuss this further," he remarked.

I was out the door and into the forest in a flash. I ran past Emmett and Jasper on their way back from hunting without even acknowledging them. I heard Emmett thoughts as he remarked that I looked green. Can vampires turn green? Jasper honed in on my feelings of humiliation and embarrassment and continued on to the house wondering what had happened to make me feel those emotions.

I hope Dad keeps our conversation to himself. I just had to run at full speed for a couple of hours to clear my head. Thank God Bella did not have to endure this conversation. I can only imagine how many shades of red she would become.

A/N: This was originally intended to be a one shot but I think I am going to show Carlisle's talk with all three boys. I can already see Emmett's reaction, probably much the same as Edward's. Jasper's I am not so sure what to do about. Suggestions accepted. Please read and review.