The Assassin's Heart
A/N: I'm a bit obsessed with Bond movie themes right now. Somehow the lyrics seem to fit our favourite assassin to a T... At the same time, I'm trying to explore Zev's personality a little more, based on the things he says in the game.
This is set in Denerim and takes place between Chapters 10 and 11 of Cats on the Prowl (in case you're interested in chronology).
Chapter 1: From Antiva with Love
When the messenger boy came up to them and gave her Ignacio's letter, Cat's first reaction was complete and utter disbelief. The Crows wanted to talk to her? She'd expected more attacks, certainly, another attempt on her life, or maybe someone contacting Zevran on the sly. But this?
Her curiosity piqued, she assembled a small group of her friends to go and meet Ignacio. Zevran, of course - she would need his help in evaluating the situation. Sten, because it never hurt to have a huge Qunari bodyguard at your side when you went to negotiate with assassins. And Wynne, in case things got nasty and they needed healing.
She needn't have worried, though. Ignacio proved to be perfectly civil. In fact, according to him, the Crows were interested in getting her to work for them. Confused, she looked at Zevran for advice. Ignacio's eyes followed her gaze.
"Zevran, is it? You aren't my responsibility. Taliesin sends his love, though." The Crow grinned briefly. "In my eyes, you're already dead."
Cat felt a shiver travel down her spine at the implication, but she schooled her face to remain calm. Zevran acknowledged the other man's words with a curt nod; he'd expected nothing else. He knew well enough that Taliesin wouldn't give up, ever. He would hunt down Zevran and the Warden; that much was certain. A Crow contract could never be cancelled.
Cat was still unsure what to make of the assassin's offer. "I will need some time to consider," she stated.
Ignacio just shrugged. "Look, you see this chest behind me? If you should take it into your head to look inside, you will find a contract in there. Whether you take it, is entirely up to you. It is none of my business. If you prove helpful, however, I will make sure there will never be a contract on your head again. And we won't harm him, if he's important to you." He gestured toward Zevran, contempt clearly visible on his face.
Cat bit her lip, then she led her little party over to the tavern's taproom to discuss the proposal. When she threw Zevran a questioning look, he smiled.
"Ahhh, my sweet, I am all for it. If it works out, it will certainly make you and me a little safer from the Crows. And I assure you that you can rely on Ignacio's word in this."
She nodded, her face pensive. "Yes, but it might mean we have to kill innocent people. What then?"
He sighed. "My dear, but who is truly innocent? I doubt our designated marks will be. Besides, death happens, as we like to say. And when I get paid for it, death happens more often."
Wynne's face grew dark at his frivolous words, and she snorted disapprovingly as she turned to Zevran. "It's hardly that simple. You must know that murder is wrong, I assume. That is why you wished to leave your Crows, isn't it? A crisis of conscience."
Zevran's grin grew wider. "That's... one way of seeing it. But really, my darling Wynne, we all do our share of murdering around here, don't we?"
Cat sighed, mentally tuning out their bickering. It was obvious she couldn't count on Wynne to help her in this. She'd have to ask Morrigan. While the witch wasn't as good a healer as Wynne, she was a formidable ally in any fight, and it was refreshing to be with someone who took a more relaxed moral stance.
The moral choices turned out not to be too hard after all. Their first mark, Paedan, was hiding in a backroom of the Pearl. When they confronted him, it turned out that he'd been the brains behind a plan to lure Grey Warden loyalists into the brothel and kill them there. He attacked them before they even had a chance to make the first strike, but they dispatched him and his associates swiftly and definitively. When it was over, Cat looked down at the bodies and shrugged. They would have had to deal with him sooner or later anyway. The Crow reward was just an additional bonus.
Their next task, an attack on a bunch of Qunari mercenaries, was a lot harder to accomplish, but again the decision whether to kill them turned out to be surprisingly clear-cut. The Kadan-Fe attacked them on sight - small wonder perhaps, as the Qunari were carrying Gwaren shields and seemed to have been hired by Loghain. Morrigan's spells decided the battle soon enough.
On their way back to town, they made camp near a small stream, a tributary of the River Drakon. Zevran was glad for the chance to freshen up and disappeared immediately for a quick bath in the icy water. When he returned, Cat was deep in conversation with Leliana. The bard's face had carried a haunted look ever since they had met and confronted her former mentor, Marjolaine, a while ago. They hadn't killed the woman, but Leliana had seemed shaken by the other bard's accusations, for reasons Zevran couldn't grasp.
He could hear her voice now, anxious, her Orlesian accent more pronounced than ever, as she talked to Cat, an intense expression on her face.
"You see, Cat, what we're doing... what we've done. Hunted men down and killed them. Part of me loves it. It invigorates me and this scares me. I... I feel myself slipping."
Zevran couldn't see Cat's face, but her voice sounded cool and collected. "I know the feeling, Leliana. You're not slipping. This is who you are. Don't punish yourself for doing something you enjoy."
Leliana's pretty eyes widened at this, but it was obvious Cat's words had made an impression. Zevran felt stunned. Of course he knew his Warden didn't share Leliana's pious scruples, but to hear her state it so bluntly...
He was in for another surprise when they returned to Denerim and, at Alistair's request, went to look for his long-lost sister. Cat was the only one to accompany him inside Goldanna's house. They weren't gone for long, though, and when they returned it was obvious the conversation hadn't gone well. The former Templar looked shattered, almost ready to cry, as he pulled Cat aside for a few words in private. Zevran did his best to listen, but all he heard were her last words, as she turned away from Alistair, her face pale and drawn.
"Everyone is out for themselves, Alistair. You should learn that."
Alistair seemed shocked, but fortunately, Leliana stepped up to the young man at this point, putting a gentle hand on his sleeve and whispering a few words in his ear. His expression softened, and the two of them went off together without another word to the Warden.
Zevran and Cat made their way to the Gnawed Noble to pick up their reward and a new killing contract from Ignacio, then settled at the bar for a snack and a glass of ale. He watched her face as they were eating, contemplating her changed demeanour.
"You have been acting very tough lately, carissima," he observed quietly. "I wonder whether it was unwise to accept Ignacio's offer."
She bristled immediately at this. "You are telling me this, Zev? That's rich. Whatever became of 'the thrill of the hunt'?"
He flinched as he heard his own words from her lips. He hadn't realized she had been listening when he'd talked to Leliana a few days ago.
"Or how about 'when the prey is caught, it deserves a good death, a clean death'?" She snorted, and he realized belatedly that he'd got himself into trouble.
"Now, don't be mad at me, my sweet," he pleaded. "It's just... you're too young to think like that, no?"
"Too young? Too young? Oh come on, Zevran Arainai! You're a few years older than I am, at the most." He could see she was warming up now, unwilling to let it go. "Not to mention that now, suddenly I'm too young for this, yet all the while you expect me to put up with being your...". She was searching for words.
"My what?" He could hear his voice, sounding a lot sharper than he had intended. He had aimed for a casual, bantering tone, but failed miserably.
Cat closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face. "Oh, Zev! To you, it is all fun, isn't it? Everything's just a game. Our love-making, Taliesin's threats, the danger we're in... you don't care. Honestly, you're hardly in a position to accuse me of being cynical."
He was more shocked than he cared to admit. Did she really believe that he was indifferent? Surely after all these months she had to know... He felt an overwhelming urge to grab her, to shake her, to make her see what was in his heart, but at the same time he was completely tongue-tied, even as she glared at him, expecting an answer from him.
She exhaled loudly, throwing him an exasperated glance. "You are... I need to get out of here," she growled, and headed for the door. Outside in the courtyard, she briefly stopped for breath. She saw the door open and for a moment felt a bright flash of hope, then tasted a sudden bitter tang of disappointment in her mouth as two drunken patrons left the inn. She realized she was waiting for him to follow her and cursed herself for her foolishness. Not him, never. Quickly she walked off into the dark.
When she passed the kennels, she heard Fluffy whine and decided to take him along. Better to be safe than sorry. Only seconds later, she saw a huge shadow emerge from the inn's wall, and her hands went to her dagger, but then she recognized Sten's unmistakable silhouette.
"It would be unwise to walk around alone at night, kadan." His voice, expressionless as always, was curiously soothing. She nodded curtly and set off, the two of them in tow.
Zevran's eyes followed her as she left the room, and he noticed her throw back a last quick glance at him. Should he go after her, ask her to come back? For a moment, he was undecided, his head spinning with uncertainty, an unfamiliar feeling of dread gripping his stomach. No. Zevran felt his pride rising and turned to the stairs to go up to their room instead.
Yet, as he closed the door behind him, he felt haunted by the memory of her face, the pain and the disappointment he had seen so clearly. He sighed and began removing his armour.