Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR ,Figwit, or Bret McKenzie.

There once was an elf named Figwit, whose tongue he constantly bit.

One bite was so fatal

To talk he wasn't able

So everyone thought him mute.

Through Two Towers his name was not mentioned, his fans waited with apprehension.

'Till Return of the King at last,

The waiting was passed!

When Figwit told Arwen to beat it.

In the cyber streets there was rejoicing ,their happiness fans were voicing

Leggy fans were torn,

Between this star new born,

And their pretty boy blonde elf.

Many journalists found this funny, Bret McKenzie never saw it coming

That's all I really know,

You can complain, well so!

Just visit Figwit lives .net.