Warning: Sexual themes

One-fold

Jellal turned to Zeref, a frown marring his handsome face. "Normally I would be happy to have a ton of girls checking me out," he said, shifting his backpack on his shoulder. "But something feels really weird man."

Zeref cocked an eyebrow, dodging an oncoming student in the hallway. "How so?"

Jellal coughed lightly and leant in closer to his friend. "Well, they're all looking down at my…"

The raven haired man chuckled before allowing his gaze to drift downwards. Slowly, a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "I see."

"Mine's not smaller than yours, ok?" Jellal spat out defensively.

Zeref grinned and raised his hands in surrender. "Did I say anything about size?" Jellal shook his head in exasperation and the two of them made their way to class slowly. "Oh and by the way Jellal, your fly's open."

"What?" His hands scrambled to pull up his zipper and Jellal hurried over to the row of lockers so that less people would notice. "Shit man, no wonder they were all staring. Damn it!"

Zeref grinned even more broadly. He rested his head against the locker as he leant against it lazily. "So, how's it going with Erza?"

"Good," Jellal replied somewhat icily.

Zeref's eyes strayed back to the other's pants as he watched Jellal struggle with the zipper, amusement evident in his eyes. "Have you guys done that yet?"

The blue haired man looked up sharply. "Of course, we did that ages ago."

"Did you do that then?"

"Yes," he replied impatiently.

"What about that that?"

Jellal grunted an affirmative, too busy focusing on his zipper, which for some strange reason did not budge. "Damn it, it's stuck. I think my boxer's gotten caught in it."

"Stop jerking it. That looks so wrong." Zeref said lightly, obviously enjoying himself.

A gasp sounded from their right and both males straightened up as they turned towards the source.

"Erza…" Jellal breathed, his face paling a few shades.

The female stormed up to him. "Jellal, that is just…that is just sick! If you're going to do it, do it in the toilet!" He opened his mouth to explain but she jabbed a finger into his chest sharply and continued. "Are you so desperate because I'm holding off on you that you have to do it right here? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" With each word, she poked him hard and soon, Jellal found himself pressed up against the wall.

"No, that's not what it looks like," Jellal pleaded. "Hear me out."

Erza groaned and massaged her temples. "You know what, I don't really want to hear about it." With a cry of disgust, she stormed off in the other direction, muttering about stupid males and their daily urges.

Zeref snapped his fingers. "I see, so you didn't do that that." He whistled. "Man, you're missing out."

"Yes, ok. You're doing great with Ultear, I get it. Stop rubbing it in." Jellal growled. Abandoning his attempts to jerk the fabric loose, he started to untangle the mess slowly.

"Jellal, what on earth are you doing?"

His head snapped up and he looked up to see none other than Zeref's girlfriend. He cleared his throat, wondering how to explain why both of his hands were inside his pants.

Zeref waved lazily at Ultear. "Well you see, he's…"

Jellal slapped a hand over Zeref's mouth. "Dude! Bros over hoes! Stop publicizing this!"

This earned him a hard smack at the back of his head. "Jellal Fernandes, are you calling me a hoe?" Ultear ground out through gritted teeth as she towered over him threateningly.

"…No…" Jellal muttered and went back to what he was doing earlier. If all females were like that, humans would be extinct soon.

Ultear looked at him with a mixture of disgust and curiousity. "Men," she sighed and rolled her eyes.

A loud rip sounded and both Zeref and Ultear turned towards Jellal, who was clutching his crotch, face scrunched up in pain, as he slid down against the wall.

"You nicked the skin, didn't you?" Zeref asked sadly. Jellal nodded.

"I didn't know that it hurt," Ultear commented in wonder. "I thought you guys did it to pleasure yourselves."

Zeref patted her on the arm. "I'll explain later. Just leave him there for a second and he can catch up with us."

The female nodded slowly. As the couple started to make their way to their next class, Ultear suddenly turned around. "Jellal," she said. "You are one sick masochist."

Said person struggled to his feet unsteadily. "What is wrong with you people? I wasn't doing it!"

She waved dismissively and Zeref slung an arm around her shoulders. "By the way, mine is so bigger than yours!"

Jellal responded with his middle finger. Damn it, he hated school so much sometimes.

I suck at humour XD I don't even know why I wrote this.