Title: Onigiri

Character/Pairings: Kukaku/Kaien

Genre: Humor/Family

Rating: T

Summary: Kukaku's got a boyfriend. Kaien's curiousity is all but unbearable.

"Aw, shit." Kukaku spoke aloud for the first time that day. Her eldest brother, curious in all his glory, scurried over to her side.

"I'm in love." Kaien took action. "Who? Where?" he screamed, jolting forward and causing her to fall off the edge of her perch on the windowsill. He crouched down next to her crumpled form, apologetically patting her upturned bottom, which was sticking in the air.

"Who?" he whispered, taking the volume down a few notches so as not to spur her into a lethal heart attack. Kukaku stirred, growling and quivering with agitation. "You idiot! What do you think you're doing?" The intro to her irate tantrum and loose profanities were abruptly interjected with the following mouthful of shihakusho she got when Kaien crushed her against him.

"Aw! Ku, you're in love! That's so sweet!" he cooed. Oh, god, she thought, he's just dripping with that lovey-dovey shit, I can tell."Ugh, disgusting!" she howled, shoving him away. "Not as sweet as my ass!"

Kaien looked hurt, if not annoyed by her lack of enthusiasm in the subject and willingness to cuddle. "What? I was just showing some pride as a brother," he said indignantly. "Ya know, you could at least be a bit more like Ganju. I swear you're so negative." Kukaku scoffed, shaking her head and feeling more than a little pissed off that he was comparing her to that deadweight doornail of a sibling.

"Yeah, and you could use a new philosophy, Mr. I'll-use-heart-as-a-metaphor-for-shit," she grumbled, crossing her arms.

Kaien stomped his feet, in the throes of a tantrum already. "Hey! That's my belief you're trampling on!" he shouted. Kukaku hadn't even braced herself for her sibling's wrath; she knew him better than that.

"Bro', I could totally crap out a philosophy faster and better engineered than the corny mush you managed to produce in your whole lifetime." Kaien flushed with ire and embarrassment.

"Oh? W-well what do you have in mind, Mrs. Know-it-all?" he queried. She sneered, having her own personal reverie of fame and fortune as she raised her hands to caption the words she was envisioning.

"There are two different kinds of battles," she boasted, and for a split second he swore she was going to say something memorable. "There's battles where you live or die. Basically, shit happens and it's best to forgive and forget."

Then, Kukaku ended it with a flare by giving a thumbs-up." How was that?" Kaien stared at her, tacit for a second. "Well, it looks like you took my captain's way of life and blew it to smithereens," he mumbled. She grinned. "Exactly!"

He gave a prolonged sigh. "So-" he shuffled awkwardly "-who's the lucky guy?" Kukaku looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"Who, what?" she inquired, brow knitting together. Kaien returned her expression, cocking his head in the direction of the window she'd been glued to in resentment ever since he'd told he was heading to Soul Society the next morning. At least they had reconciled somewhat; he didn't want her to hate him for the short-term visit. Maybe her new crush would help her cope while he was gone- he hoped.

"Holy crap!" Kukaku bellowed, rushing for the familiar sill, formerly forgotten.

Kaien followed close behind, noticing her bend over something on the vertical surface.

"Thank god," she exhaled, only piquing his inquisitiveness. "Damn it, I'm in love." Kukaku breathed, cradling her plate of onigiri against her bosom whilst she stuffed one in her mouth. Kaien collapsed right there at the sight of the youth and object of desire: food.

He should have known that Kukaku was too independent to need the reliance of others. Yep, she would be fine without him, Kukaku and her onigiri.

A/N: Lol. Onigiri. :)