I've always thought that Emmett and Rosalie's relationship was very complex, so I thought I'd take a stab at a situation that was probably very trying for them both. Enjoy!
Emmett was grinning as the jeep pulled into the driveway. He parked, and was just about to hop out, as Jasper had already done, when he noticed that Edward, who was sitting in the passenger seat beside him, had not moved. His face darkened, and he had the look on his face he always got when he was concentrating on someone's thoughts.
What's up? Emmett thought, but Edward did not answer. He hadn't expected him to, either. Whenever Edward was focused too intensely on any one person's thoughts he tended to tune everyone else out.
"What's up?" he asked, aloud this time, in the hopes of eliciting a response from Edward.
Edward's eyes flashed up to him and said, "Rosalie."
"What's wrong?" he asked urgently.
"She talked to Bella," he said, looking pensive. Hearing a question in Emmett's thoughts, he elaborated, "About when she changed."
"Oh," was all Emmett managed. He was nonplussed as to why Rosalie would tell Bella of all people, about when she was changed. She hardly ever talked about it, and as far as Emmett knew he was the only person she'd ever done so with purposely, though Edward, of course, had heard the story in her head a fair few times.
"I don't know why," Edward said, again answering Emmett's thoughts rather than words, "She's not thinking about it. Well, she is, but not about why she did it."
"I'd better go talk to her," Emmett said after half a second, getting out of the jeep much more slowly than Jasper had only a minute before.
"She's in your room," Edward said, getting out too.
"Yeah, like she'll be there for long once she knows we're home," Emmett muttered with an eye-roll. Really, for someone who could read minds, Edward never fully understood Rosalie. Sure enough, he could hear her jumping out of the open window in their own room as they walked towards the front door. He stopped as he listened to her running footfalls retreating, and waited until he couldn't hear them anymore. He paused, counted to three inside his head, and took off after her.
He didn't run at full speed, as he knew she was doing, but took a leisurely pace that was almost that of a human. He knew where she would be, and also that she would want time to herself for a moment to collect her thoughts. But he also knew that it was dangerous to let her be alone for too long when she was in the kind of state he knew she would be in.
As he approached the clearing, their clearing, he spared the beautiful rock formation and the water gushing down it only a passing glance before his eyes alighted on his angel, his miracle, his Rosalie.
She was sitting on the edge of the pool of water into which the waterfall gushed, her feet dangling in the water swishing back and forth. The starlight lit her beautifully, and she even had let a small smile grace her lips. It was a good sign that she was here at all, as when she was in a really bad state she would run at the sound of his approach.
She patted the bit of rock next to her without taking her eyes off the depths of the water. Emmett sat down next to her, but said nothing. After a moment she turned into him and leaned her head on his shoulder. Still they said nothing as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.
Emmett hated to see her like this. It drove him mad, and he could do nothing to make it better. A less compassionate person might have told Rosalie that it was time to move on, but Emmett, despite his many jokes, was more compassionate than most people.
"I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair after another minute or so.
Her head came up to look at him and her voice rang out clear as a bell, "What for?"
"That you had to talk about it," he elaborated.
"I didn't have to, I wanted to," she said, turning back to look at the waterfall and resting her head against his chest.
"Well, I know you must've had an important reason for doing it, and I know wasn't easy."
"No," she agreed, "It wasn't," she paused, still looking at the water, before she looked at him again, her eyes burning with intensity, "Emmett, she has everything I've ever wanted right beneath her fingertips, and she's not taking it. The future, the possibilities, all of it. She has it all and she's throwing it away."
He could hear the heart-break in her voice and tried to keep it out of his own as he replied, "I know, Rose."
In truth he understood Rosalie's pain because he felt it too. He saw what their family could have been. He saw his Rose, her belly swollen and her face glowing, and he saw their children, beautiful and blond, but with his chin and nose. He saw everything she saw and he wanted it, he really did. Unlike Rosalie, though, he was able to come to terms with the fact that they'd never have it. He was able to reconcile himself with having her, just her. God knew she took up enough of his time and energy. Of course, it was easier for him to let the dream go because he'd never wanted a family until he'd wanted one with Rose, and by then it was too late and he knew it.
For Rosalie it was different. She'd wanted it before she'd ever met him. She'd wanted it more than she'd wanted anything in the world, including him. At first that knowledge had pained him more than anything else, but now that she wanted them to have it together more than anything in the world he realized that it didn't make much difference. It wasn't any less impossible now than it had been before, it only hurt her more now. There was a face on the husband she imagined, and their imaginary children looked like him. She saw them clearer than ever, though she'd never been further away.
For a moment he was brought back to the one time she'd ever voiced in so many words her picture of their family. They'd been in the exact spot where they now sat, back during the first time they were living in Forks, before Alice and Jasper had even found them. Her eyes had glowed with wonder and grief at the same time, as she described a boy with curly hair like his, but blond, and eyes as blue as her's had been when she was human. She saw a girl with beautiful blond ringlets, his nose, her chin, and eyes that were a beautiful green, just as his had been when he was human. She had asked him what he would've liked to name them, and for a moment, just a brief moment, as he had answered Peter and Beth, he allowed himself to believe that it was possible.
He was wrenched back to the present as the awful realization came crashing down on him once more that it wasn't possible and would never be possible.
He did not know how long they sat together in silence before Rosalie said, her voice barely above a whisper, "She has a choice. She has a choice and she's choosing wrong. But I-I don't know if I can even blame her for it anymore."
Emmett said nothing, but just listened, waiting for her to elaborate.
She did so without encouragement. "Even if she did want a-a-," she couldn't bring herself to say family, she just couldn't. Emmett held her a little tighter as she continued, "What I want, I know that to her it wouldn't matter anymore because she'd want it with him. And she can never ever have it. Just like we can never have it..."
He said nothing, only rocked her back and forth quietly. She had her legs curled up to her left side, and was leaning back against him, his arms around her.
After a few minutes she smiled a bitter smile and said, "You know I still think about how beautiful they would be. She would be just like you..." Every word she spoke came out slowly, regretfully. Emmett could hear the ghost of a dry sob behind her voice, and had to resist the urge to begin sobbing himself because as she said it, as she described them, he could see them too. "But she would smile like me, laugh like me, but laugh more than I do. And he-he would laugh like you, and you...You would've been such a good father. Emmett I can see it..."
She trailed off as, at long last, she let the dormant sobs wrack her body.
"Rose," Emmett whispered, rocking her back and forth, "What good can it do to dwell on it? You don't think I can see it? Of course I can see it. I can see them, I can see that would've been an amazing mother," he chuckled in spite of himself, "You would've spoiled them rotten, but then so would I. But, Rose, don't you see? We can never have it. As much as you might wish, or I might wish, we're never going to have it."
After a moment Rosalie's sobs ebbed away as she said, "But you know what? As much as I envy Bella, for having this choice, this choice I didn't have, I can't say now if I wouldn't chose the same way she's choosing. Because I don't want it in the abstract anymore, I don't want any family, I want our family. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything or will ever want anything and I-I can't have it."
"Rose," he whispered, quieter still, pulling away from her slightly to put his hands on either side of her face. "We can't have it. We will never have it. But it does no good to dwell on it. Just because we'll never have it doesn't mean we can't enjoy what we do have. We'll never get to be a happy family, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. I love you, and you love me, and we're going to have each other for the rest of eternity. Is that all we'll ever want? No. But that's all we'll ever get, and as much as I might regret that, this, you, are enough for me. Aren't I enough for you, Rose?"
If there had ever been a moment where he thought Rosalie would cry despite the impossibility of it, this was that moment. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in it's usual spot at the crook of his neck. He could feel her breathing deeply with him as she whispered into his neck, "Of course you're enough for me, Emmett."
After a few minutes they pulled apart. Emmett was grinning, glad the worst was over, and relieved when she smiled as well.
"Well," he said cheerfully, "We'd better get back before they think we were abducted by the wolves."
She rolled her eyes at him, which only made his grin grow wider, "You're such a child sometimes."
He shrugged, unfazed, "That's why you love me."
She took his hand and took off running. The sun was just peeking over the horizon as they slowed nearly to a human walk upon reaching the house. They could hear Bella's heartbeat thudding evenly, her breaths measured and slow, from Edwards room, where Edward's soft humming could also be heard. Carlisle and Esme were not at home, but Alice and Jasper could be heard quietly talking in their room.
They went up to their bedroom without talking, and just lay down on the bed. Despite being a joker, Emmett always found silence easy with Rosalie. He had never been a fan of silence with anyone else, but with her it was as easy as breathing. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, as she curled up against his side, and if he hadn't known better, he would've said she was sleeping. He didn't need Edward to know what she was thinking about. But the smile on her face told him that what he'd said had gotten through to her. He knew she was far from okay, and it would be a long while before she'd be able to really, truly accept that her dream would never come to be, but this was a step. He knew that she still had a long way to go, but he'd always be there for her, just as she would always be there for him.
As they lay there he contemplated how they must look to everyone else. Most people thought that they were oddly matched, the supremely vain and the childish joker. Only their family really understood. His bravado was the foil to her masked insecurities, and her responsibility was the foil to his lack thereof. They weren't really two separate entities at all, but rather tow parts of a whole. Of course they didn't always agree, but in the end they loved each other more than either one of them loved themselves because they loved what they became together. Separately they were childish, insecure, flawed, but together they were invincible. The thought made him smile.
Only when the sun had fully risen, Carlisle and Esme had returned from their hunt, and Bella could be heard waking up, did they stir.
"Thank you," Rosalie whispered as she moved to the closet to pick out a new outfit for the day.
"Anytime," he said, following her and preparing himself to play mannequin, "But of course you already know that."
She laughed.
So, please leave a review and let me know what you thought about all this. I was a little unsure of never having Rosalie say that she loved him (and having Emmett only saying it in passing), but I don't really think it's in Rosalie's nature to make declarations like that that often, and especially not when she's feeling vulnerable and weak. I really hope this captured their relationship properly. Remember to review!
XOXO
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