Susannah Remembers
I first met my father when I was 4 years old. He rescued me and I fell in love with him right away. After witnessing my birth parents murder right before my eyes I was then kidnapped by a baby/child selling ring. William came alone and found me. He almost died saving me and I worried about him every day of our lives after that. He promised he would be home to tuck me in every night, and he always tried to keep that promise.
I met my mother when William was brought to her. She took me aside, dried my tears, and said her name was Julia and that she was a doctor who would help William. She knew before William did that they would adopt me. Julia was always my role model and I love her dearly, but I will always be Daddy's girl.
My name is Susannah Jane Murdoch, though everyone has always called me Susie, except William. He always called me Susannah, always. It was his sister's name too. She had died before I was born. And I wouldn't allow anyone else to call me Susannah. It was our secret, at least to my child's mind it was a secret. My parents had introduced themselves to me as William and Julia and that's what I usually called them, except when I was upset. Then it was Mommy and Daddy. William was the kindest, smartest, handsomest, and best man I have ever known and I miss him terribly. Julia misses him too. We often talk about him.
William died in the line of duty, as we all expected he would. He was a copper almost all his life, though not just a policeman but a brilliant detective. Even the mayors of Toronto would personally call on William for important cases. Of course eventually he was promoted to inspector in spite of his Catholicism, but he never stopped solving cases. It was to be his final act to push a constable to safety and get shot in the chest instead. He didn't die right away and Julia and I got to be with him at the end. By then his dark hair had greyed around the edges but he was still handsome. We sat at his bedside each holding one of his hands. He opened his beautiful brown eyes and looked at me, smiling, his voice no more than a whisper. "Susannah, I love you more than I can ever say. Now you are a beautiful, successful woman, but you will always be my little girl." He turned his head slightly toward Julia. "Julia, you are the light of my life. There has been no other. Take care of each other. I'm a happy man for having loved you both." And then he was gone. If only Uncle George were here to say again, "He's not dead Sweetie. See. He's breathing." But he was not breathing. Not this time. We sat there, Julia and I, holding his hands and each other, tears quietly rolling down our cheeks.
His funeral was huge. It was held in Toronto's largest Catholic cathedral. Thomas Brackenreid gave the most moving eulogy. Neither Julia, nor I wore black. William would have hated us in all black.
After Daddy died I hurt, physically and mentally. My fiancé tried to comfort me but even the dashing John Brackenreid couldn't reach me in the depths of my sorrow. Julia and I locked ourselves in the house and saw no one for months. I often sat at the piano, playing sad music. William had taught me to play piano. My lessons began when I was only four, and I loved them. I had to sit in his lap to reach the keyboard. He would laugh and smile while we played together. He had known how to play piano since his school days and was very good. One look at sheet music and he had it memorized. But it wasn't until he and Julia married that he took it up again. Now Julia would sit in the dark and listen to me play for hours. We were a morose lot and fed on each other's sorrow.
Finally Uncle George and Aunt Emily could stand it no more and forced their way into our house and back into our lives. Uncle George said that William wouldn't want us to be sad all the time, that we needed to move on with life. It was the most difficult thing either of us had ever done, but we tried. Life without William just didn't seem to be complete. I shall ache for him till my dying day, but I knew, as did Julia, that we couldn't stay locked away for ever. So we opened the house up. John had waited patiently for me to grieve and was ready to help me live again. Aunt Ruby and Uncle James also helped both me and Julia as did John's parents, Margaret and Thomas.
So now as I wait for my wedding date to come and to take over Julia's medical practice ( Yes, I followed in her footsteps and became a doctor and John became a copper, like his father and William) I am writing about Daddy. It makes me feel closer to him to remember our time as a family.
So here I go, recalling some of the extraordinary times we had together. But Daddy, I wish you hadn't left us so soon.