It Never Ends
Summary: Sheppard is captured by a wraith queen who wants to know the location of earth. That poor, unsuspecting wraith queen.
A/N: I haven't got a beta (don't write enough to get one) so any mistakes are my very own. Sorry in advance.
Disclaimer: (scratches out the d-i-s) It's all mine!!! Mwahahahah!! (lots of law enforment people point guns) Okay you can keep it.
I smile in satisfaction as I observe the figure standing before me. So this is the puny human food who has been giving my glorious kind so much trouble. Well no more and I ALONE was the one responsible for his capture. Oh how sweet it is that the one who so blatantly defies us will now be the one to reveal to the wraith the location of earth. I snarl in satisfaction as I slowly circle my prey.
"Where is earth?" I ask in a low seductive tone that has been proven to un-nerve previous prisoners. Its effect on the human known as Sheppard is a little different.
He merely looks at me in confusion then says "Where is what?"
Hmm, perhaps he is hard of hearing. I try again louder this time "Where is earth?"
He only squints and looks at me in confusion "Earth?"
"Yes, earth! Where is the location of earth!?" I hiss, my incredible patience waning.
"Oh well why didn't you say so in the first place?" asks Sheppard amiably.
I glare at him "I did say so." I snarl.
"Did not." He shoots back.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"SILENCE!! You will tell me what I want to know." I growl in my best 'I'm intimidating' voice.
All I get for my trouble is a cocky smirk and the response "I can't tell you what you want to know if I have to be quiet."
He had a point. ARGH!!
"By the way," comes Sheppard's musing voice from – my chair? What is he doing in my chair? "Do you have a name? 'Cause seriously I'm starting to wonder if you guys even have names. If you don't I can give you one." He offers.
I stare at him completely baffled.
"Okay then." He says then gives me an appraising look and asks "How about Annabelle? You kinda look like an Annabelle to me."
I continued staring at him. This is NOT how it is supposed to work. I was supposed to intimidate him then ask him for the location of earth, the correct response from him should have been to quake in terror, answer the question and beg for his life (I'd ignore that last part though). This wasn't supposed to happen. I needed time to regroup.
"Take him back to his cell." I order some random drone who had been standing over in creepy dark corner doing nothing. Then I add in hopes of salvaging what I can of the situation "I will allow you to think on my question for a while." There that sounded ominous.
If only he thought so too.
"Okie dokie. Hope you remembered to leave a mint on my pillow." Is all he says as the drone helpfully drags him out of the room. He gives me a flippant little wave just before he disappears around the corner.
This is not working.
I wander over to my chair and after spraying it with a bottle of Lysol sit down and try to figure out what to do with my prisoner. Well at least now I know why others of my kind want him dead so badly. Really, Annabelle? What kind of name was that?
I access the central computer and begin to read about all the various ways to interrogate an annoying prisoner and the different success rates of them.
Several hours pass and still I have not come up with a solution and then suddenly it hits me. DUH!! Probe his mind. Why hadn't I done that in the first place? Maybe this human had a unique chemical that inhibited the thought processes of any wraith he came into contact with? Or not. Hey, it could happen. My lips curl back from my teeth (which are the pride of my dentist) in a feral grin. Now THIS would work.
I turn to the same random drone who had been standing around earlier and order him to bring the human before me.
I hear him before I see him. He is making some strange high pitched noise that sounds something like steam being release through a small hole under high pressure. What was it called again? Whistling? That sounds right. Hmm, that tune is catchy.
The whistling suddenly stops as he gives me a lopsided grin and a cheerful "Hey, how's it going?"
HA! He will not be so disregarding of me in a moment.
"Have you thought about the question human?" I ask hoping he will at least squirm.
He locks his gaze with mine and cocks one eyebrow at me "Maaybee." He drawls out.
No luck with the squirming.
"What is your answer? Will you tell me the location of earth?" I ask walking right up to him and bringing my face to within several fingers distance of his own.
He brings his hand up to his face and rubs at his chin, his face scrunches up in intense thought. "Hmm…" suddenly he drops his hand from his chin and crosses his arms across his chest. "Nope." He says and resumes his whistling.
"Very well." I snarl. "I will take it from you by force." He never even misses a note in his tune.
With a hiss I reach for his thoughts with my mind. I had expected to encounter resistance or at least a pathetic attempt to mislead me, instead suddenly my mind is flooded with strange images of a barn and a frightening being with hard sightless eyes and a strange white substance covering its boneless body. Its toothless mouth is moving in an impossible manor and it is… singing? That tune, it is familiar. It is the song Sheppard has been whistling. The words crash through my mind with frightening force.
This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what is was
Now they'll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my fri-
I pull out of his mind in horror but the lingering images continue to torment my mind. What kind of creature was that? And that song… I can not stop thinking of it. It is taking over my mind! Sheppard is looking at me with amusement in his eyes. He knows!! He KNEW this would happen!! He smirks at me then turns and walks nonchalantly towards the corridor.
I open my mouth intending to order the drones to go after him and bring him to me so that I may feed upon him, instead I begin to sing.
This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
Now they'll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that never ends
The drones suddenly join in with me. NO! Sheppard is getting away. He is laughing at me! LAUGHING!! That song! I can't think! ARRHHH!!! He has escaped me! The others have joined him. He must not escape! I try once again to call for my drones but all that comes out is that song!! The three newcomers stare at me in shock while Sheppard laughs even harder. I scream in rage! How dare he? How DARE he!? I am ruined. I watch them as they run to their ship dragging Sheppard with them who is laughing to hard to stay on his feet. I must… what must I do?... I can no longer think… that song… that song… it is all I can think of!... and worst of all… it has no end!! IT IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!!!! I have no choice I surrender to the awesome power of the song. It surges forward and soon it is all I know.
This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
Now they'll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that never ends
Several months later…
Elizabeth watched as Colonel Sheppard and his team came through the gate. They were all accounted for, appeared to be in one piece, there were no frantic shouts to raise the shield, and no freaky body paint or costumes. Wow. How often did that happen?
As she walked down the stairs to greet them she noticed that Teyla and Ronon both wore rather confused expressions and kept glancing at Sheppard and McKay. Sheppard was sporting a sloppy grin and barely suppressing his laughter while McKay was muttering under his breath about the different offences he must have committed to get stuck with Sheppard.
"Something interesting to report Colonel?" asked Weir.
Sheppard turned his lopsided grin on her "It would appear there has been a marked change in wraith strategy." He explained.
Elizabeth cocked her head to one side and folded her arms across her chest "Excuse me?"
"The village we went to," said Teyla "they reported that the wraith who recently attacked them seemed to have… given themselves away prematurely by… singing."
Elizabeth stared at them in shock.
"That's not all." Said Ronon "Seems Sheppard and McKay are familiar with the song they were using."
Elizabeth gave them her best 'care to explain?' look.
"Well obviously it was all Sheppard's fault." Blurted McKay "He's the one who reportedly started singing that blasted song to the wraith queen who captured him in the first place and so it stands to reason that the wraith who attacked the village were from that same hive. It's possible that when their queen got that song stuck in her head – for lack of a better phrase – it may have entered into their telepathic phone service thingy and so end result is we've now got a wraith hive that run around singing the theme song from Lamb Chops."
Teyla and Ronon shared confused looks while Sheppard nearly choked on his laughter, McKay tried to catch his breath after his breathless rant, and Elizabeth stood there blinking in disbelief. She finally managed to shake herself out of it long enough to send the team off to their post mission check with Beckett then stood staring at the gate for several moments longer.
At last she turned and walked back up the stairs to the control room. Feeling pretty good she absent mindedly started humming. The good feeling vanished very quickly when she realized she was humming "The Song That Never Ends". She ran frantically out of the control room to schedule herself and appointment with Kate Heightmeyer.
So there you have it. Poor poor Annabelle. Hey here's an idea, why don't you click on that pretty little button down there. You know you want to. You can even flame me if you want, just wait until I get the marshmallows out.