The bell to the Magic Box dinged as Xander walked in. Anya finished ringing up a customer and Xander tapped his heel up and down, waiting for him to leave.
The minute he exited Xander asked, "Um, An, any idea why the cash machine ate my ATM card?"
"Were you using the one down on 34th and Vine? It's possessed, you know."
"No, this is old fashion laws of supply and demand. Specifically insufficient funds are at work here."
"You promised to refrain from use of financial terms during business hours. I can't afford to keep closing the shop during business hours while we..."
"I'm serious Anya. Return to sender, funds unknown."
There was a long pause as Anya studied her nails.
"An?"
Anya looked up, "Oh, alright. Yes. It was me. Are you happy now?"
"Where'd it go? Did you cash it out again? I thought we got past that manual counting fetish."
"Mmm, but it feels so good."
"Anya. The money. Where is it?"
"When I tell you, I think you'll agree it was the fault of a demon with the power of suggestion. Do you remember the other night when I found sleep elusive because the register was off by 27 cents? The television was on and this woman with blonde, frizzy hair and a squeaky voice explained that for 80 cents a day..."
"You sent all the money in our checkbook to Sally Struthers?!"
"Yes, but let me explain. I was overwhelmed by thoughts of how lucky I am to have lost my vengeance job here instead of a third world country or a socialist one - you know they tax half your income. Then I felt awful for feeling pleased that I am here, that I can run a place that makes such a great profit margin and I have you." Anya smiled at him and Xander couldn't resist returning a half smile to her before she continued, her smile falling away. "It was like someone dropped a heavy blanket on my thoughts and grabbed my heart and squeezed it. Then I wrote the check and I felt light and warm. Like a... cat that ate the canary. Finally, that phrase makes so much more sense!"
"Honey, I know Sally Struthers and Sally is no demon."
"Wait, there's more. For a week, every time I'd look at the check registry, I'd feel good," said Anya beginning to pout. "But then that feeling faded away. I tried to cancel the check this morning, but that woman had already cashed it. She must be a powerful demon to exert control over my mind."
"Nope, not a demon."
"Well, how do you explain what I did?"
"Pretty sure you took a trip on the toll road of guilt with a brief stop at the altruism way station," Xander replied.
Anya wrinkled her nose. "Guilt? Guilt! Oh, yuck. It feels like this? No wonder religion works so well. You know what this means? The next thing will be remorse for my vengeance demon days. And then more guilt. This is not fair!"
"You mean you've never experienced remorse?" asked an incredulous Xander.
The minute he exited Xander asked, "Um, An, any idea why the cash machine ate my ATM card?"
"Were you using the one down on 34th and Vine? It's possessed, you know."
"No, this is old fashion laws of supply and demand. Specifically insufficient funds are at work here."
"You promised to refrain from use of financial terms during business hours. I can't afford to keep closing the shop during business hours while we..."
"I'm serious Anya. Return to sender, funds unknown."
There was a long pause as Anya studied her nails.
"An?"
Anya looked up, "Oh, alright. Yes. It was me. Are you happy now?"
"Where'd it go? Did you cash it out again? I thought we got past that manual counting fetish."
"Mmm, but it feels so good."
"Anya. The money. Where is it?"
"When I tell you, I think you'll agree it was the fault of a demon with the power of suggestion. Do you remember the other night when I found sleep elusive because the register was off by 27 cents? The television was on and this woman with blonde, frizzy hair and a squeaky voice explained that for 80 cents a day..."
"You sent all the money in our checkbook to Sally Struthers?!"
"Yes, but let me explain. I was overwhelmed by thoughts of how lucky I am to have lost my vengeance job here instead of a third world country or a socialist one - you know they tax half your income. Then I felt awful for feeling pleased that I am here, that I can run a place that makes such a great profit margin and I have you." Anya smiled at him and Xander couldn't resist returning a half smile to her before she continued, her smile falling away. "It was like someone dropped a heavy blanket on my thoughts and grabbed my heart and squeezed it. Then I wrote the check and I felt light and warm. Like a... cat that ate the canary. Finally, that phrase makes so much more sense!"
"Honey, I know Sally Struthers and Sally is no demon."
"Wait, there's more. For a week, every time I'd look at the check registry, I'd feel good," said Anya beginning to pout. "But then that feeling faded away. I tried to cancel the check this morning, but that woman had already cashed it. She must be a powerful demon to exert control over my mind."
"Nope, not a demon."
"Well, how do you explain what I did?"
"Pretty sure you took a trip on the toll road of guilt with a brief stop at the altruism way station," Xander replied.
Anya wrinkled her nose. "Guilt? Guilt! Oh, yuck. It feels like this? No wonder religion works so well. You know what this means? The next thing will be remorse for my vengeance demon days. And then more guilt. This is not fair!"
"You mean you've never experienced remorse?" asked an incredulous Xander.