A/N: I've wanted to do a Shunnao oneshot forever, honestly. But I've never even attempted to write a Shunnao, so we'll have to see how this goes, huh?
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach; I make no profit from this.
"Feet off the desk." Nanao's tone was scary even, and she touched her glasses as a warning.
"Nanao, darling..." Shunsui tried to talk her down, but it was too late.
"Feet on the floor, Captain Kyoraku." Nanao was already giving her "Do you honestly want to test me today?" look to him, and Shunsui was losing.
Shunsui put his feet on the floor. "But there's not even any paperwork on it. Besides, my feet being on my desk isn't so bad. I've-" Nanao's cold glare froze him mid-sentence. He went silent.
Nanao settled at her desk, glancing around. She really was lost without any paperwork to do, and it showed.
"Let's talk." Shunsui worked up a grin again, though it actually took effort after being scared by his lieutenant. "Have you ever been in love?"
"I don't believe in love." Nanao said, tone even again. "It's just a release of chemicals from the brain. There's no such thing as true love, and love is just a chemical reaction."
"Aww, my Lil Nanao has never been in love!" Shunsui cooed, and Nanao was just falling short of heaving something at him. Everyone knew he couldn't dodge large objects to save his life. Swords, sure. But a desk or large dictionary, no.
"It's a ridiculous sentiment created by the greeting card industry." Nanao maintained. "I don't need to be in love. I have a career."
"You'll know when you fall in love." Shunsui smiled, continuing as if he hadn't heard her. "It's an amazing thing. Your heart beats fast and time slows down when you're with them. You'll do anything to be around them, and you'll do anything to protect them too."
Nanao was fervently trying to ignore the man, by way of organizing her already perfectly organized desk. But little things he said were leaking into her brain anyway, bothering her.
You'll do anything to be around them... He's always trying to keep me around by leaving paperwork for me to do. And then he hangs around and watches me do the paperwork.
He's so protective of me too. But that's just because I'm his lieutenant. I'm sure... I mean... I think I'm sure...
"You'll want to give them little gifts, little pieces of your heart." Shunsui continued. "And sometimes you even want to shelter them away from everyone else."
He's constantly spoiling me with office supplies and books... Nanao narrowed her eyes at an unopened package of pens in her desk drawer. And I've lost count of the times he's told me to stay here while he fights.
"But sometimes, if that love is unrequited, you'll have to find an escape. Some people choose being argumentative, some choose drugs, some get a hobby, and some drink..." Shunsui rattled around in his desk cupboards for his bottle of sake that Nanao had thrown out that morning.
"Stop teasing me!" Nanao snapped. "Just because there's no work you're acting like a cat playing with a mouse. Stop it. You're so childish sometimes! I don't even know how you got to be a captain half the time!" Flushed with anger and the embarrassment of yelling at her captain, she sunk further into her chair, still glaring at him.
"Who says I'm teasing you?" Shunsui asked softly. "Maybe I'm telling you something."
Nanao stormed out of the office, only to hide behind the corner and rub the steam off of her glasses. Damn she hated him. He always played those sick little games with his lieutenant; she remembered him acting the same way towards Lisa, and now it was her. If he actually did love her, wouldn't he just tell her? He would, she decided. This was just a sick and twisted game of his. Damn him.
"Darling Nanao, why are you crying?" Big arms encircled her waist. "I didn't mean to upset you..."
Nanao took a moment to remind herself not to attack her captain. "I'm not crying. I have something in my eye." She felt so clichéd saying it, but what other lies could she revert to?
"Really? Let me see then." Shunsui effectively spun her towards him, looking deep into her eyes. "Close your eyes, it might drift to the corner."
Nanao, playing along with her own little charade, closed her eyes and started to rub her left eye in the inside corner. But before she knew what was happening, Shunsui had leaned down, pressing his lips to hers.
Nanao panicked a bit, never having been kissed before. But ultimately, she relaxed and kissed him back. She still didn't believe in love, but this felt right.
Shunsui pulled away, almost too soon for Nanao. "See? It might've seemed like I was teasing, but I was serious." He gave her a lazy grin. "Now come along, darling Nanao."
Face resembling a tomato, Nanao still looked at him warily. "Where are we going?"
"Well, you took your captain's bottle of sake away... so he's going to buy you a drink."
Nanao huffed, but followed anyway. She'd given up on her Captain ever making sense.
A/N: Just an odd little thing that was on my list, I guess. But I liked it. What did you think?