Impossible
I sat on the curb, isolated from the outside world: no ringing cell phones, no speeding cars, no excited dogs, and no annoying toddlers. I was in the country. I wanted to get rid of the past, but it has recently become clear that it isn't physically or mentally possible. I was stuck in the past because there was no turning back, and neither of us can ever take back the words that were said.
Joe: [He grins, his heart racing as he pulled up in the driveway with his girl at his side. Both of them exchanging glances and smiles, he leans closer to her.] Finally, after two weeks. Just us. Alone.
Miley: [She chuckles, her eyes peering down as she inches her hand toward his.]Yeah. I have to admit, that time without you was terrible. Camp was just… Well, boring. Useless. Torture.
Joe: And you wouldn't have had to go, but you insisted that your hand bell-playing needed practice. Instead, you could've had fourteen romantic summer nights with yours truly. [He smiles, captivating her lips in a kiss for a moment before pulling away and opening the door to his house.] What do you say we go inside for a while?
Miley: [She shakes her head.] Joe, you know I love your new car. Plus… [She closes her eyes and inhales the scent of the leather on the driver's seat. She adds.] It smells like you, and I like it. [She pats his seat.] Sit down, baby.
Joe: [He laughs, shakes his head, and restores his position in the seat. He closes the door and thoughtlessly takes her hand in his.] I missed you. I missed your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your voice… [He smiles a dorky, cheesy smile.] I missed your lips and your kiss, too.
Miley: [She scoffs at his hopeless efforts of being a joker. Granting his wish, she smashes her lips into his. Everything was there: the fireworks, the passion, the pleasure, and the love. It was wonderful.]
Joe: [Sliding his hands up her body, tracing every curve, he grasps her neck and leads her further into the trance of the kiss.]
Miley: [Finally pulling away, she smiles at him.] Obviously you haven't forgotten how to turn me on, Joseph. You haven't changed one bit.
Joe: Well, my Miley loves me for who I am. I personally disagree with my "perfection", but if that's what you want, I will never change. I just want you to be happy, Miley.
Miley: [She lets a shocked expression play across her face.] Quite deep for just a kissing compliment, don'cha think?
Joe: [He glides his lips against hers once more and disconnects them.] But it's you, and I have to be perfect for you.
"Perfect" is where it always goes wrong. I've heard all the stories about love and how it's never successful without conflict, but I was starting to believe that true love can be possible without fighting. Joe made me feel beautiful. He had never raised neither his voice nor hand at me. He brought a smile to my face with every look he gave me. But as we all know, for this to last much longer is impossible.
Miley: [She smiles.] Joe, "perfect" doesn't exist. No matter how hard you try, nobody can be perfect.
Joe: [He laughs emotionlessly.] But sweetheart, aren't we perfect? Us?
Miley: [Nervous, she rubs her left shoulder with the opposite hand.] Nobody is perfect; therefore, a relationship with people can't be perfect. Ever.
Joe: [His lips straighten into a serious look. His eyes harden, and his jaw tightens.] What are you trying to say here, Miley? We've been together for five months, and it seemed as if the whole time, we were just fine. What's up? Seriously?
Miley: [She looks down, speaking in a muffled, soft tone.] People make mistakes. People change.
Joe: [His eyebrows knit together in confusion. Puzzled, he lifts her chin with his index finger.] Are you saying you've fallen out of love with me?
Miley: [Her voice levels out to a normal volume and her expression becomes deep, yet soft.] No, no, no! I've always loved you! It's just…
Joe: It's just what, Miley? Why have you doubted love?
Miley: [She reclines in her seat, throwing her hands up in the air, allowing her fingertips to skim across the roof of the car.] A guy kissed me, alright?! It's band camp, you can't honestly say you didn't expect anything like it. I didn't sleep with anyone, I didn't fall in love. It just… happened!
Joe: [He closes his eyes, taking it all in. He attempts to remain calm without raising his voice.] Woah, woah, woah, slow down. You kissed someone? So you're saying your cute little lips have touched someone else's?
Miley: [Without realizing his relaxed voice, she opens the door and scrambles out of the car.] Yes, they did. I admitted it. At least I told you the truth, and you didn't have to hear it from anyone else. I'm sorry, alright? I kissed someone, and I am a terrible girlfriend.
Joe: [Helplessly grinning, he steps out of the car as well and rests his elbows on the top.] Mhm. You're terribly wonderful.
Miley: [Ignoring his commentary, she trails on about her bad self, and how she made the wrong decisions, how she always messed up, and God made her destined to fail.] So you should just leave me, because I don't deserve anyone like you, Joe.
Joe: [He shakes his head, slowly ambling to her side of the car. Pressing her body against the side, he smiles.] Didn't you JUST say nobody's perfect? That no relationship is flawless? I'll accept the fact that you kissed another guy, even if I'm not too thrilled with it. But the whole world needs a little Miley to go around, right? A free sample. It would be selfish of me to keep you for myself, though that would be pretty awesome.
Miley: [Avoiding contact with his warm, brown eyes, she lets out a long and strained sigh.] This isn't how it's supposed to go. You're supposed to yell. Scream. Hit. You're supposed to make me run away crying.
Joe: Is that what you're trying to do? If that's what you want—
Miley: No! I want you always and forever. I want all of you, every second of the day. I want everything you can offer. But I just don't understand how you can possibly be happy with me after I did what I did…
Joe: I trust you, Mi. I trust that you won't leave me randomly out of the blue for some other guy.
Miley: This isn't the way it's supposed to go, Joe…
Joe: [Biting on his lower lip, he looks up at the starry midnight sky.] God, I love this stubborn girl. Please, please, please help her grasp the concept that I'll always love her.
Miley: [She rolls her eyes again.] I don't deserve you, Joe.
Joe: [Getting aggravated, he lifts his index finger.] This is your last chance. If you say it one more time, you WILL be outta here. Now tell me this: do you want to be with me or not?
Miley: I do… But I just… [Leaving one last kiss on his lips, she turns toward the darkened street and begins the long walk home.]
As I said to Joe, we all make mistakes. I'll admit that walking away had to have been the stupidest thing I've ever done. Why was I stubborn? Why did I ignore him? The answers, I'll never know. All I will ever know is that I was an idiot, an absolute fool. I walked away. I abandoned him. With no reason, I left. No, I did not leave for another man, I left for him. I left because I thought he deserved better, when in truth, we were meant to be together. At the time, I didn't understand that. I guess I felt guilty and insecure, but looking back on it, I felt guilty and insecure that I made that decision. Looking back on it, I felt terrible. Looking back on it, my heart shattered all over again–an action that shouldn't be repeated.
But the past is the past. I thought the future might solve things, but it didn't. Today is now, and now is today. I don't know how things might've turned out if I never left, but there's no changing it now. All I know is that I made a stubborn decision, and to all of you out there, don't follow my bad choices.
I'll promise myself that someday, maybe soon or maybe in the distant future, I'll find him. That's what I want to do before I die: find Joe and repent seven times, as the Bible states, and tell him I am truly sorry. Who knows? We might end up in that white house with a picket fence. I've figured out that perfection isn't impossible if you strive for it. If you chase after something, it's never impossible. After all, "impossible" says "I'm possible", right?
Until that day, Miley.