Title:Where We Gonna Go From Here?
Author: Nikki (Randomness0612/Randomer06)
Rating: R (14+)
Pairings: mainly Alex/Izzie (lexzie) with possible other pairings and characters.
Premise: Izzie leaves Seattle pregnant. Will she come back?"
Warning: AU. Season 2 ending. May become more mature later, unsure at the moment.
Author's Note: Enjoy! =D
Prologue:
"For five years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open decided my life; there wasn't one choice that was mine. And now, I have this heart that beats and works. I get to be like everybody else, I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, and do whatever the damn hell I choose. Now here's the good part, so you listen close. What I choose is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you, Izzie Stevens."
Izzie just stood there and stared at Denny for what seemed like hours to the two of them. She then worked up the courage to speak and moved slowly away from the bed Denny happened to be laying in.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I'm so sorry" Izzie said and ran out of the door.
"Whoa, Iz. Slow down. What's up?" George said as he quickly stopped Izzie in her tracks as she sped out of the door, Meredith walking up to them.
"Just come in here and I'll tell you" She said as she gasped for air, and then entered the nearby supply closet with George and Meredith in close step.
"So, What's got you running down the halls of the hospital then?" Meredith asked Izzie.
"I just broke up with Denny."
"What?" George spoke, with a shocked tone in his voice.
"He asked me to marry him. I told him I couldn't, apologised, and left the room."
"Why?" Meredith Questioned.
"Because I'm pregnant." Izzie said, breaking down into tears.
"Pregnant?" George asked.
"Yes, pregnant."
"How far along are you?" Meredith asked.
"About 9 or 10 weeks."
"So I'm guessing Alex is the father..."
"I can't stay in Seattle. I can't raise this baby with Alex. And I'm not getting rid of it. I'll move to LA and finish my internship there..."
"You can't go"
"I have to. Alex has hurt me so many times in the past. I can't let him hurt my child. It's best for me and the baby."
"You won't have a place to live."
"I'm renting an apartment a couple of miles from St Ambrose, where I'm doing my internship."
"How long have you had this planned."
"2 weeks. The apartment has been empty for nearly a year so it's ready for me to move into and my transfer for Seattle Grace to St Ambrose will be pretty straight forward too. I officially start next week."
"Wow. You're all sorted"
"I promise to keep in touch. Just promise you'll keep this between you. Cristina can't find out."
"We promise" Meredith answered
"We'll swear on it" George added.
"Thanks guys. Look, I better go start packing. If Denny or Alex ask for me, tell them I've gone."
"You haven't told Alex; even after all you've been through?"
"I can't. It breaks my heart to know I can't say goodbye to him. Deep down somewhere I love him but if it wasn't for the whole Olivia thing we'd probably still be together, raising our baby together. Just promise you'll tell him if he asks." With that a tear escaped and rolled gently down her cheek, George catching it with his finger before it left her face.
"We will" both of her friends answered.
"I love you guys" Izzie said as she left the supply closet.
Izzie headed home, packed some essentials, and headed to the airport. When Izzie got to the airport she bought a ticket for LA and waited to board the plane. She would ring Meredith tomorrow when she got to LA, to let her know that she was fine.
Meredith was walking down the corridor after visiting the last of her many patients she had been treating today, about 6 hours Izzie after had left Seattle when she bumped into Alex.
"Hey, you seen Izzie? I need to talk to her"
"Umm... she's left"
"Oh, I'll head round to yours in a bit."
"No, Alex. I mean she's left Seattle, for good."
"You what? She can't. I need to tell her .I've been putting it off for weeks because of the whole Olivia thing." He said as he leaned against the wall and dropped to the floor. Meredith quickly joined him.
"Tell her what?"
"That I'm in love with her" He mumbled, almost inaudibly.
"You love Izzie?"
"Yeah. I know what you're thinking, Alex has never been in love with anyone other than himself."
"No, actually. I was thinking about how much you've changed since the Olivia incident. Izzie may not have seen it but I have. I have her cell number. Maybe give her a ring when you're ready and tell her how you feel. She might listen"
"Thanks Mer." He said as he smiled at her then got up and walked away.
"Meredith! Where's Izzie? Denny's crashing." Cristina yelled from down the corridor.
"Crap. She left 7 hours ago." Meredith gasped as she ran to Denny's room.
"He's gone" Cristina said as Meredith got there. "Time of death, 19.42"
"Damn."
"She's gonna be devastated."
"I should ring her." Meredith mumbled quietly as she left the room, leaving Cristina to cover Denny up and put him to rest.
Meredith found an empty on-call room, a quiet one at that, and called Izzie to tell her the bad news.
"Hey Iz. So have you left the airport in LA yet?"
"Yeah, I'm at my apartment."
"I didn't wake you did I?"
"No, I can't sleep. I was hoping you'd call. I'm bored sat here on my own in a new place" Izzie giggled.
"So how are you so far?"
"I'm fine, apart from the boredom of course."
"That's good, not the boredom obviously."
"Has Denny asked about me?" Izzie asked causing Meredith to pause for a moment before answering.
"Actually, there's something I have to tell you..."
"Is he ok?" Panic was present in Izzie's voice.
"Iz. He died at 7.42pm last night. I'm so sorry."
"Shit" She cried down her cell. Meredith could hear the hysterical sobs which filled the headset of her cell.
"Iz, I'm so sorry."
Izzie just continued to cry down her cell.
"Iz, I'm coming to LA. I need you to meet me at the airport in 4 hours. You need me and I don't have the slightest idea where you live."
"Okay" Izzie answered through sobs, still hysterical but calmer than before.
Izzie had to force herself to sit down. She thought about the events of the past week. Life couldn't get much worse for her. She had to leave all of her friends behind in Seattle, including the one guy she loved, and Denny. She loved Denny but she knew it could never work out between them, especially when she was pregnant with Alex's child. Meredith was right, she did need someone. She needed a friend to provide support for her at this difficult time.
Izzie stood leaned against the hood of her rental at the front of LA Airport, waiting for Meredith. Meredith appeared, ran up to Izzie and flung her arms around her.
"I'm so sorry, Iz"
"How, how did it happen?" She mumbled.
"He had a stroke..."
"He was prone to blood clots." The tears began to roll down her face once again.
"Denny wouldn't want you to be like this. He'd want you to continue your life as normal and be happy."
"I suppose." Izzie said. "He didn't suffer did he?"
"No, it was sudden." Meredith put an arm around her friend."Come on, let's get you home. Tequila will help. Well tequila for me, and some non-alcoholic drink for you." Meredith said, making Izzie smile slightly as they got to the car.
"Can you drive us home? I'm shaking once again." Izzie asked, the trembling visible to Meredith. Meredith nodded and got into the driver's seat.
2 Years Later...
Izzie Stevens walked down the corridor to her boss's office. Izzie arrived at the door. Izzie's boss, Vincent Clarke, was an old man with black greasy hair. He sat there in his huge, black director's chair behind a desk twiddling his thumbs, waiting for Izzie. She gently knocked and entered slowly.
"Oh, Isobel sit down." He said as he looked up to greet her.
"Thank you" she said as she took a seat in front of her boss's desk
"I'm sorry but it is not possible to allow you that much flexibility in this program. We need someone who is able to work all hours, someone without other responsibilities. I do know a hospital which does allow such flexibility. There is also a day-care for your son. Here's the number. Give that a ring and ask to speak to the chief of surgery."
"Thank you for everything. It's been a pleasure. I suppose this just wasn't meant to be"
"No, it's been a pleasure to have you here. It's a shame that you have to leave us. I understand that your child is number one priority. That child of yours is such a lucky boy. When he's older he'll realise what an amazing person you are. Being a single mother who is a surgeon is difficult but you do such an amazing job of it. It's a shame this hospital won't be able to witness it"
"Thank you once again, really."
Izzie shook her boss's hand and left the room in the same manner she entered. She took her cell out and began to dial the number her boss had given her.
"Hi, this is Dr Isobel Stevens. Please may I speak to Dr Richard Webber?" Izzie spoke into her cell phone.
Chapter 1:
"Meredith. It's Izzie."
"Who's Izzie?" Meredith joked.
"Ha, very funny" Izzie said sarcastically
"Well I have to get my fun somewhere..."
"I lost my job. They told me they had to let me go, that they had to find somebody to work whatever hours they were given, someone who didn't have another responsibility. It didn't seem to bother them for the last 2 years, until now. Anyway, I called the Chief today and he's given me my old job back. Only problem is I don't have a place to stay. Any chance I can stay at yours until I find my own place?"
"Sure, you can have your old room back. When are you coming back?"
"In 2 weeks. I have to work my notice."
"You need me to do anything before you get here?"
"Just tell the others I'm coming back. Don't tell them about Jay. I know George already knows but I need to tell the others myself. Especially Alex. I need to tell him myself."
"I understand. So I guess I'll see you two in 2 weeks..."
"Yep. See you then" Izzie said as she hung up.
2 weeks passed by pretty quickly. Izzie had now been in Seattle for 30 minutes. Her first stop was to be at the hospital. Izzie got out of her car then walked round to the other side to get Jason out.
"Hey little man! We're going to day-care first. Mommy needs to get you signed up. She knows that there's a place because Aunt Mer found out for her, yes she did"
"Mer?"
"Yeah, Aunt Mer. Oh, and after we can go see her and Uncle George. We might also see Aunt Cristina. Mama's not looking forward to seeing daddy though. Mommy might be in some trouble."
"Uh-oh"
"Yeah, uh-oh. C'mon, let's get inside."
The two entered the hospital and headed to the hospital day-care. They were greeted by a blonde, petite woman.
"Hello. May I help you?"
"I was wondering if I could sign my son up for the day-care."
"Yes, if I could just get some details..."
The three walked over to a desk and sat down. Izzie filled in a few forms and gave them back to the woman.
"That's everything then. We'll see Jay first thing tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Dr Stevens"
"Nice to meet you too." Izzie smiled "Come on, Jay. Let's go find Aunt Mer." She said as she tickled her son, causing him to laugh.
Izzie walked into the cafeteria with Jason in her arms, babbling away.
"Is that Izzie?" Cristina asked Meredith as she saw Izzie walking into the cafeteria.
"Hey, Iz" Mer greeted her.
"Hey."
"Who the hell is that?" Cristina asked, gob-smacked.
"This is Jay. Say 'Hi' Jay"
"Hi." He smiled.
"How old is he?" Cristina asked.
"15 months. Why?"
"She's going to try and work out who the father is. Just ignore her. Hi Jay, you're so cute." Meredith laughed.
"Let Uncle George get a look at this little charmer." George said as Izzie handed Jason over to him.
"Just like his dad" Izzie sighed, just loud enough for Meredith and George to hear.
Just then Alex came in with tray. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Izzie?"
"Hi Alex."
"What the hell?" he said, looking at Jay.
"I can explain..."
"What, that you didn't waste time after you left Seattle?"
"Just listen to me..."
"Who's the father, Iz? Some guy you met after you vanished off the face of the earth?" Alex shouted, throwing his arms up in the air.
"Well if I've worked it out right it means that either Alex or Denny are the father..."
"You what?"
"Well Denny isn't the father, she never slept with him. That means he's..." Cristina pondered
Alex threw down his tray and stormed out.
"Alex, wait!" Izzie shouted after him, handing Jason to Meredith and following Alex.
"Alex, wait. I can explain..."
"Explain why I have a kid and didn't know?"
"I was scared. I was scared and I ran. I know it wasn't the most sensible idea but at the time it seemed to be the only thing I could do. The thing was that I loved you but didn't want to let you in, because of Olivia. I forgave you for it but I needed you to rebuild my trust in you. I still forgive you for it."
"Olivia was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made, and I've regretted it every day since, because I lost you, the one thing I cared about. You could have told me and we could have worked something out." He said as he slammed the door behind him, then slid down it to the floor.
"I put everything I felt for you into falling for Denny, and it worked. Then I found out I was pregnant. I went to tell him it was over and that I was leaving Seattle for good. He asked me to marry him. Once again, I ran. Story of my life." She said as she walked over to him and joined him on the floor.
"Sounds like it."
"I wanted to tell you but I couldn't. I panicked, panicked and ran. I guess I thought that it would be better to bring up our child alone than in a relationship where there's the possibility of cheating..."
"I get it."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The thing is, I can't stop loving you. Here you are stood in front of me telling me I have a son who I didn't know about and all I can feel for you is love."
"I never knew you felt about me that way" Izzie spoke softly. "I'm so sorry".
"In a way it's both our fault." Alex interjected.
"Yeah, I suppose it is."
"I've changed, Iz. Since you left I've changed. I'm more dedicated to my work, and my friends."
"I suppose I've changed too. I've had to, being a single mother and all."
"I'm not a man-whore anymore, not really. Not since you caught me with Olivia."
"I've not had many relationships, and they were just dates. Nothing sexual, apart from one. I haven't been able to. I needed our son to have a stable environment." Izzie said, veering off the subject of Olivia.
"I forgive you for not telling me about me being a father."
"Why? That's unforgivable."
"No it isn't. You made a mistake. There's no point being pissed over it for the rest of our lives. We need to move on, start a fresh."
"You really want to start over?"
"Yeah, why not? You're back for good, right?"
"Yeah..."
"It's the most logical thing to do."
"You're right." She said as she moved closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder.
Electricity ran through the two of them, like it used to. Izzie thought to herself, some things never change.
The two sat there in silence for what seemed to be the next 15 minutes.
"I'm glad you're back, Iz. It hasn't been right without you."
"It's good to be back."
"I never stopped loving you, Iz. I need you to know that." He whispered. "I can't stay angry with you. If it was anyone else I would have ran or hit them, but I can't do that to you. I can't lose you again. It's gonna take a while for me to trust you again and for us to get back on track but we'll get there."
"How angry are you on a scale of 1-10?"
"I'd say about a 6. I'm trying out this new thing where I don't let my anger show. It's mainly my fault you left but you could have still told me about Jay."
"I know, I'm really sorry."
Tears came to Izzie's eyes. To be honest she had never stopped loving him either but she need to get to know him again first before anything else happened.
"What's Jay's last name?"
"Karev. I wanted him to have a part of you. I wanted him to know who you are."
"Thanks" Alex smiled.
"What's his middle name?"
"George."
"After O'Malley?"
"Yeah. Well he was... is my best friend."
"I suppose."
The two sat there for a second before Izzie suggested something.
"You want to go meet your son?"
"Yeah, why not" he smiled at her as he got up off the floor, and then helped her up.
"Let's go see him then" She said as they left the room and headed back to the cafeteria.
As they walked into the canteen Meredith shouted at Izzie.
"Iz, the chief said to give this to you." Meredith said as she handed a bag with scrubs and a lab coat in.
"Thanks." She said as she took the bag and took a seat between Alex and Meredith.
"So, how does it feel to be a dad?" Mer asked Alex.
"Weird. It hasn't really sunk in yet."
"It will do. Give it time" She said as she handed Jay over to Alex.
"Hey Jay. I suppose I'm your dad." He said, looking at the child then smiling at Izzie.
"So, you and evilspawn here made up?"
"The air's cleared" She said as she smiled at her son and Alex. "I think we'll be fine" Izzie said as Alex smiled back. "Does it feel weird being back together to Derek?"
"No really, it feels right" Meredith smiled.
The group continued to chat and eat.