Waiting
Disclaimer: So apparently Life with Derek recently scored lucrative book, DVD, and toy deals. And I still hesitate to buy coffee at Starbucks since it's not really in my monthly budget. Need I say more?
Derek Venturi was crying shamelessly. Casey McDonald never thought that she would see the day. They were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. Marti was sitting on Derek's lap, George was in her mother's hospital room talking to her and the doctor, and Lizzie and Edwin were waiting anxiously at home.
"So I'm really not going to have a little sister, Smerek?" Marti asked again.
"No, Smarti," said Derek, hugging her tightly. "No, you're not."
Looking at the two of them, Casey's eyes teared up as well. If someone had told her that he would have reacted like this five months ago, she wouldn't have believed it
Things had really changed since that day they found out her mother was pregnant.
It was a Wednesday in the spring of their junior year. It was raining harder than it had in a long time. So hard in fact, that Derek had had to pull over briefly on their way home from school. She had forgotten her umbrella that day, and of course, Derek had refused to share his when they got out of the car. She was soaking wet by the time they reached the house and Derek's smirk of amusement made it all the worse.
"Jerk!" she said, closing the door behind them. But Derek wasn't really listening to her.
"Be quiet for a minute, Casey," he whispered, gesturing toward the kitchen. That's when Casey noticed the conversation that her mother and George were having. She was surprised to realize that her mother was crying.
"How did this happen, George!" he mother sobbed. "We're always so careful."
"Nora, I'm sorry," George stammered. "I guess I should have had that . . . you know . . . procedure."
"Oh, George," said her mother, "what are we going to do?'
"We'll manage somehow," George said. "Lizzie and Marti can move into the attic, Edwin can take Lizzie's room, and then Marti's room will be free."
"And I guess I could ask Denis to help out more financially," sniffled her mother. "He's offered to before, but I've always refused since he'll be paying for Casey's university."
"Nora, he'll understand," George said, comfortingly. "Everything is going to be okay."
That's when Casey noticed that Derek had left her side. He was walking quickly toward the kitchen, looking purposeful and angry. She had to run to catch up with him.
"What the hell is going on here?!" he said, bursting in on George and her mother.
"Derek?" said George, clearly taken aback. "When did you get home?"
"Please, tell me that Dad's skewed up some construction work in Marti's room," Derek said, ignoring his father and addressing Casey's mother.
"Well, no, Derek," said Nora. Casey could tell she was trying her best to sound cheerful, but she just came off as extremely guilty about something. "I, well, we, George and I, are going to have a baby. Isn't that wonderful?"
But Derek turned away from her and looked his father directly in the eyes with an expression of hate that Casey found both shocking and upsetting.
"How the hell could you do this," he said, quietly. "First you get married without consulting us and now you're having a fucking baby."
Casey watched as her mother burst into tears.
"Derek!" shouted George, "That was uncalled for!"
"Yeah, well so was bringing them into our lives," said Derek, in a low and bitter voice.
He stormed out the room and up the stairs.
"Oh, Georgie," her mother, embracing her husband and crying into his shoulder. "I knew they weren't going to take this well."
"He didn't mean it, Nora," he whispered. "This is just a big change for him."
But Casey was enraged. How could Derek say something like that to her mother! He was the biggest jerk that she had ever met.
Without saying anything, she ran up the stairs after him.
"Derek, open up!" she yelled pounding on his door.
"Go away, Casey," he called.
"I don't think so, Derek!" she yelled, letting herself into his room.
He was sitting on his bed, his head resting on one hand.
"How dare you talk to my mother like that! Can't you see she's upset enough?! You're acting like a selfish jerk."
"You're right," he said quietly, not looking up. "I'm sorry."
It was the last thing that she had expected and left her feeling totally deflated. There was a strange sadness in his voice that surprised and concerned her.
"Oh," she said, sitting down next to him on the bed. She really didn't know how to react to his behavior and they sat there in silence for sometime. She could hear the rain beating against the window and every now and then there was a low rumble of thunder.
Finally, he spoke.
"It was hard for me when you moved in," he said quietly, still not looking her in the eye.
"Yeah, tell me about," she snorted. "I know the feeling."
"No, Casey," he said quietly, "I don't think you do."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" she said softly.
"I wasn't planning on telling you this any time soon, but you might as well hear it now," he whispered. "It's now or never, right?" He sounded sad but at the same time bitter.
"What is it?" she said, giving him a look of concern.
"It wasn't just the fighting," he said softly. "You were just so . . . so . . . stubborn . . . and overbearing . . . and frustrating and . . ."
"And what?" she asked, becoming angry again.
Outside, there was a loud crack, followed a split second later by a flash of light. At that moment, Derek finally looked up at her and she gasped at the intensity of his gaze.
"And beautiful," he said, looking at her with a longing she had never seen before.
She sat there transfixed, not knowing how to react until finally, he broke their eye contact and turned away from her.
"But then you dated Sam and I knew that at least for the next couple years . . . Well, there's a code . . . But still . . . And now . . . "
"And now there will be blood," she said quietly, finally understanding.
"Yeah," he said, avoiding her gaze again.
"I wish you had said something sooner," she blurted out.
She hadn't planned on responding like that but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew that they were true.
"I thought there was time," he said quietly, as if not all surprised by her reaction. ". . . I better go apologize to your mother; she really didn't deserve that."
After that, things were different. There was no more pranking and no more teasing. He treated her with perfect civility and spending time with him became . . . pleasant. At least in the moment. Afterwards she would always feel somewhat sad . . . She thought that he felt that way too. Occasionally, they would catch each other's eyes and a look of understanding would pass between them.
Things also changed between him and the rest of their family. Ever since that day, he was particularly nice to her mother. He even drove her to her first ultrasound and offered to help paint Marti's room for the baby. It was like he couldn't get past his guilt over what he had said . . .
One day she overheard a conversation between the two of them.
"Nora," Derek said. "I want you to know that I think you're a terrific stepmother, despite anything stupid I may have suggested."
"Derek," her mother asked slowly, "That day . . . it was about Casey, wasn't it?"
"I guess I'm not so good at hiding it as I thought," he laughed, turning away.
"You know," her mother said, "the two of you still won't actually be related and—"
"Nora, please," he said, sadly. "I couldn't do that to my brother or sister. It would be too weird for the kid."
Casey had felt her eyes tear up and she'd run into her room.
As more time passed, it seemed like Derek was actually looking forward to the birth. Or if not, at least he came off that way. The day that they had found out it was girl, he had been the one to convince Marti it would be a good thing.
The idea of a little sister upset Marti much more than the idea of a brother. She had stormed off to her former room and refused to come out, saying that she wasn't going to let the baby have any of her stuff. The way Derek had spoken to her both melted and broke Casey's heart.
"Okay, Smarti, it's time to come out of there," he called through the door.
"I'm not coming!" said Marti. "Daphne and I are staying in here forever!"
"Okay, then, I guess I'll just have to play with my new sister then," he said in a teasing voice.
"Smer-ek!" she yelled, opening the door.
"I'm just kidding, Smarti," he said, hugging her. "No one can ever replace you."
"Promise?" said Marti.
"Of course," Derek told her. "And you'll see, having a little sister is going to be loads of fun."
"Yeah, right," Marti sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Well, I think that having a little sister is pretty cool," he said, tussling her hair. "You'll get to hang out with her like I hang out with you. And she'll look up to you and think that you're the best looking, smartest person ever. You know, like you think of a certain someone."
Casey had to stifle a laugh as Derek winked at Marti and nudged her with his elbow.
"You mean she'll think of me like I think of Casey?!" said Marti. "That would be great!"
This time Casey couldn't help but laugh; she knew Derek had been referring to himself. Hearing Marti say that kind of surprised her too. After all, she had been unable to get Marti to come out without Derek's help.
"You think of Casey like that?" Derek asked.
"Yeah, don't you?" said Marti.
Derek looked extremely flustered by the question and seemed at a loss for words.
"And the baby will think of you like that," Casey said, quickly, sparing Derek from answering.
"And maybe I could have her do stuff for me like Derek does with Edwin?" Marti asked, enthused.
"Yeah, that might not be the best idea, Marti," Casey laughed.
It was raining again when it happened. Although it was only mid-afternoon, it was almost completely dark outside. The wind was blowing hard, and every now and then the small branches of the tree outside would scrape against the side of the house. Casey was glad she didn't have anywhere to go that day.
She and Derek were up in the baby's room putting together the crib that George had bought. She had volunteered to do it herself, but after spending nearly an hour at it, she had reluctantly admitted that she needed reinforcements and asked for Derek's help. He had been gracious about it though and hadn't even tried to tease her . . . She kind of missed the days when he would have.
It was almost finished. She had just finished bolting two of the sides together and was feeling pretty proud of herself.
"Are you sure it's secure?" Derek asked.
"Of course, I am," she replied. "I can screw in a bolt, you know."
"I know," he said. "I just want to make sure."
He gripped one of the sides of thing and began to gently shake it, testing it to see if the sides would stay together.
"Derek," she said, angrily, "I told you that it's secure. Stop that already."
Without really thinking about it, she placed her hand over his to stop him.
It worked . . . Her skin tingled as it came into contact with his and Derek froze. Slowly, he raised his eyes and met her own. She stood there transfixed, unable to look away from him and unable to look away from what she felt. She was conscious of nothing except him and her and the sound of the rain.
It came as a surprise when her mother walked in, and she jumped, startled.
"Casey," her mother said, sounding worried, "something is wrong. Something is wrong with me."
"Nora, are you okay?" said Derek, anxiously. "Is everything okay with the baby?"
"I don't know," said Nora. She gasped and gripped her stomach. "I'm in pain."
"Mom!" said Casey. "We need to get you to the hospital!"
"Nora," said Derek, more calmly, "do you think that you're going into labor?"
"I can't be," cried Nora, "I just can't be. It's way too early!"
"Nora, I'm taking you to the hospital now," he said.
The three of them had piled into the car, leaving Edwin in charge, and Casey had called George, who was at a birthday party with Marti, to let him know what was going on. Her mother was admitted to the maternity unit right away.
The doctor had explained to her and Derek how this sometimes happened in older women, and for the first time, Casey had realized that this pregnancy had been much more dangerous than Nora's previous ones. Her mother had been 29 when she herself was born so Nora was 45 now.
George had soon arrived, bringing Marti with him. Casey and Derek had tried to keep her busy while George went in to be with Nora. Honestly, Casey didn't know why he hadn't dropped her off with Lizzie and Edwin . . . Marti looked scared and Derek had had a difficult time trying to explain what was going on.
Forty-five minutes later, George had come out looking extremely flustered and told them it was over. Nora was fine but it was stillborn.
Casey had covered her face in horror, and Marti buried herself in Derek's chest.
"Guys, it's going to be okay," George had said, hugging Marti and Derek.
"Nora is going to be just fine and I promise we'll talk more about this later. I need to go back and be with Nora and the doctor, but we wanted you to know what was going on and that she was going to be okay."
Casey had thanked him for letting them know and Derek had assured him that they could hold down the fort while he was gone.
And that's where they were now. Sitting there and waiting.
"Smerek," said Marti, getting off Derek's lap, "I have to go to the bathroom."
"Do you want me to take you, Marti?" asked Casey.
"No!" said the little girl, "I can go by myself."
"Okay, Smarti, but be careful," said Derek.
"Smerek, it's just on the other side of the waiting room!" said Marti, rolling her eyes and walked off. Derek smiled sadly and followed his little sister with his eyes until she went into the rest room. Then he seemed to relax a little and slumped down in his chair.
Casey, who had been pacing, let out a sigh and sat down next to Derek.
"Casey," Derek whispered looking down sadly, "I'm a shit. That day that we found out . . . there was brief a moment when I . . . when I wished . . ."
He trailed off, over covering his face with his hand.
"Derek," she said, "no one could have known this was going to happen and there was nothing we could have done to prevent it."
"Maybe not," he said, "but I'm still an awful person for thinking something like that."
"No, Derek," she said putting her hand on his arm. "You're human."
"Yeah, well," he said, looking at her sadly, "I wish I was a better one."
"Derek," she said, her eyes tearing, "I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else."
She gently slipped her hand into his and he gave it a light squeeze. And they sat there, each unsure of what the future held, but glad for the warmth of the other's hand. Although the possibilities were open for them yet again, it would be a few days before either of them would seriously think about it. For now, they were too consumed with what had happened to their family. All they could think about was Nora and their siblings. And all that they could do was sit there and wait.
Author's Note: Sorry for the repost--nothing new here. I was rereading my past stories, as I do from time to time, and found some typos in this one. Since the document for it had not yet expired I thought I would fix them while I still had the chance.