Maya sighed, watching her breath fog up and then dissipate in front of her. Exactly two weeks prior, Lucas and Riley broke up. And ever since, things between Maya and Lucas had been… weird to say the least. Maya knew she wasn't wrong to be hopeful. She knew that. When she'd left the New Year's party Riley had thrown for the second year in a row, Riley was sitting in the bay window angsting over Farkle with Zay while Smackle explained why the concept of New Year's resolutions was juvenile and was in strong need of being retired. No one had noticed her go.
Before, when Riley and Lucas were still together, everything was different. Maya and Lucas didn't speak at all. There were some things left unresolved that she figured she'd have to mark as unfinished business. But now there could be a chance. She couldn't risk her heart again, could she? She couldn't hope for this all over again and have it turn out like it did the last time. If he liked her, he would've picked her. It's that simple, isn't it? Maya knew it wasn't. She knew there had been more at stake.
But maybe… maybe their story really was finished. Maybe he would only ever be an almost. Maya was going to have to learn to be okay with that. She remembered how things were last year. It had been painful, no doubt, and Maya had been worried about everything, but at least she was hopeful. At least she thought, for at least a moment, that things would work out for them, after all. But that never happened. And it was time for Maya to face the truth, standing in the same spot she stood in when she decided to open up to him: that it probably never would.
"Hey," she heard behind her. It was only 10:30, she was supposed to be the only person on the roof, but here Lucas was, coming up to the ledge next to her, mimicking her position and leaning on his elbows.
"Hey." Maya couldn't decide if she was nervous or happy. Probably some combination of the two, but either way her stomach was in knots. She bit her lip, looking up at him. Had he gotten taller? How hadn't she noticed?
He wasn't looking at her though. Only up at the stars, one of those rare nights where a few peered through out of the light pollution of the city. It made Maya remember how the sky looked in Texas. She shook away the memory.
"Is it just me or have things been different with us lately?"
"Yeah."
"Since this time last year, huh?"
"I guess you're right." Then they were quiet for a while. Things were so hard to say sometimes. Maya yearned for the days when she could talk to him without questioning her every move.
"But something else happened too, right?" He said, finally. "When you became you again. I still don't know what really happened there. I just know things were different the next time I saw you." Maya could tell he was taking a calculated risk with that non-question. She decided to answer him. New year and all that.
"I became Riley. I don't know, I started hoping for things, I got the A in Spanish, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. You were really happy that week. You know, neither of those things are bad, Maya."
"I know. But they're not me. I'm not like that."
"Do you really think that?" He asked her, and Maya blinked. This was the most they had spoken in six months and already he could see right through her. She remembered why she'd kept her distance.
"Not really," she admitted. "I did. But now… I don't know."
"I was going to pick you, you know." Maya gulped, suppressing a gasp. She wasn't expecting that. He wasn't her boyfriend. He shouldn't be able to talk to her like that, and yet, it didn't feel out of place. "That night in the bay window when you were all covered in paint," he smiled, fondly, at the memory. Maya found herself smiling too, just a bit. "But then you backed away from me. And I got worried. Worried that if I picked the wrong girl, then I would lose both of you. And I guess I did."
"What? How did you lose us?"
"C'mon, Maya. We didn't speak for six months. Riley and I were barely in a relationship. I didn't talk to you guys anymore. Which sucked… a lot."
"I miss you," Maya blurted out, and then she wanted to shove the words back into her mouth because she was so used to having to hide from him. But even then, they weren't anything anymore. She shouldn't say that to him.
But Lucas just gave her a sad, longing kind of smile that made Maya's throat constrict. "I miss you too, Maya." They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.
"Things were kind of nice last year, weren't they?" She whispered, and she worried the words got swallowed by the wind, but he heard her, reaching over and squeezing her hand. The first time they'd touched in six months. Oh, god.
"Maybe," he started, "I dunno, if you want… maybe you can stand there like you did last time and I can stand here like I did last time and in about an hour and a half we can finally get it right."
-::-::-::-::-::-::-
And then, as the clock struck midnight, the moment was filled with soft lips meeting, cold hands grasping on to each other and the promise that things could begin again.
