You were sitting on the couch reading a book in the hotel you and L were staying at. As soon as you heard the door open, you practically jumped up to greet him. You walked around the couch to face him and give him a hug and a kiss, but then you stop in your tracks. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
His facial expression was off. You couldn't figure out exactly what was different, you just knew that there was a problem. He was generally calm and relaxed around you, but he did show his affection, in his own special way. He typically kept an emotionless expression, but around you, he smiled. He laughed. He blushed. He was human around you. But today something changed. He was trying to remain impassive, but you had known him so long you could see the slight curve of his lips, the darkness in his eyes that conveyed worry, and almost fear, which was extremely rare for "L... What's wrong? Is everything alright...?" You asked, taking a step towards him.
"Siena, may we speak for a minute?" He asked, his voice straining.
"Please tell me what's happening..." You almost begged. You couldn't bear the suspense of waiting.
"Siena, as you know, this case is extremely dangerous..."
You could already feel the nausea coming on.
"Today my name was written in the Death Note, and of course you know all about it. So you must be wondering why I am not dead. Well, it's because I have written my own name in the note... for 23 days after today." You heard him slightly choke up at the end. Your lips parted ever so slightly, you narrowed your eyes in disbelief. "If I didn't, Light would have killed me today. Now, I have some more time, and I can continue to help bring Kira to justice. But I suppose it really isn't ideal... I- I truly apologize, Siena..."
What had you just heard? What was happening? The room started to spin, but you forced yourself to concentrate. In that moment, you wanted to break down, but you knew you had to stay strong. For L. If this was causing you this much pain, you couldn't even imagine what he is going through.
You looked back up at him, swallowed and pushed back the tears threatening to escape your eyes at any moment. You quickly walked to him, pushing yourself up on the tips of your toes, your arms around his neck and his around your waist. With your face over his shoulder, he couldn't see the redness growing in your eyes, or the utter shock on your face you couldn't conceal to save your life.
"I- I- I'm so sorry, L." You could barely muster a whisper.
You knew he didn't like being called L while working on a case, but in that moment, you didn't care. It was one of the ways you showed your affection towards him, and right now, he probably really needed some affection.
He began to stroke your hair, trying to soothe you, because after all these years in a relationship with you, he could read you like a book. There was no hiding from him.
'No' you thought 'This isn't right. He shouldn't be worrying about me! I should be comforting him!"
Afraid you couldn't hold back the tears anymore, you pulled back and looked into his eyes.
"L, I am so sorry. I promise we can talk and spend all of the rest of our time together, but I beg of you, please just give me some time. An hour is all I need. Alone. Then we can do whatever you want. I just need some space. Please."
He looked at you with concern, but nodded. As he was walking out the door, everything started to blur. The slam of the door was a quiet buzz. Suddenly, your legs gave out. You dropped to the floor, you on your knees, your shoulders racking with sobs. Your body then convulsed over, bring you onto your hands. The tears just kept coming, falling down your face in a steady stream. Your pulled at the carpets, grabbing onto anything to tell you this was real. You then stood up, not knowing what to do with yourself. You couldn't stop crying as you paced around the room, pulling at your hair to distract you with external pain so you wouldn't focus on the internal one. You eventually backed up to the wall, your body curling over with sheer agony. You slammed your head back against the wall. Again and again. Soon, you just rested your head on your knees, letting the sadness consume you.
*L's P.O.V*
As you closed the door, you waited a minute, listening for anything behind the door. It was almost perfectly silent, but then you heard it. A soft whimper only you could hear a mile away. It was the way she always cried. A habit she adopted so no one knew what she was doing. She had refused to cry in front of people. She cried only once in front of you, and that was out of the 2 years you two had been together. You so badly wanted to go in there and wrap her in your arms, but she needed this. This was her way of coping. It hurt too much to stand there hearing her like that, so you went to walk out into the cool, dark, night. For an hour, all you could do was think about the short future that lies ahead of you.