*** A/N: This is a preview for my first Yuri! on Ice Fanbook. I apologize in advance that I cannot post the full story so it will be fair for those who purchase the book.

Thank you very much for your understanding. ^^

We've barely ever spoken…because I always put him on such a high pedestal.

And now that he's here, my heart can't stop pounding because of how happy I am.

The sound of shoes rapidly hitting against the pavement were muffled by the cries of seagulls and the roars of cars passing on the road. However, nothing seems to be able to hide the distress so clearly drawn on Yuuri's face. Ignoring the sweats dripping down his temples and the rough breathing he made with each step, he continued to dash along the seaside as fast as his legs could bring him.

"Viktor…!"

His hand was gripping tight at his cell phone. Without slowing down his pace, he continued running until the front gate of his family's inn, Yutopia Katsuki, was finally within sight. He didn't even think twice as he barged in through the front door. Frantically, his eyes started searching across the entire place filled with their guests and staffs.

"Yuuri, you're back. Welcome home."

A gentle, yet cheerful voice called out to him from further inside. It was his mother. Bringing a tray on her hands, she came over to where he was without even a speck of worry on her face. On the contrary, her plump cheeks only made her smile looked even brighter.

"Mom…"

"Sorry to make you run errands on your day off from practice," she said in her usual kind voice, "Thank you for delivering the food to Minako-senpai's place."

"That's okay…" Yuuri shook his head. However, that brief moment of rest was soon replaced by his earlier agitation all over again, "W-What about Viktor? Where is he now?"

"Vicchan already went back to his room awhile ago. He said he wants to rest for a bit."

Upon hearing that answer, the black-haired immediately dashed away to the place mentioned by his mother. He was in so much hurry that he nearly slipped and fell from the stairs, but eventually he reached the corridor where the said room was located just on his side. Without thinking, he opened the sliding door.

"Viktor!"

"Yuuri, welcome back~"

A cheerful voice, a cheerful smile. The first thing he saw when he came in was Viktor casually waving his hand at him, almost in the same rhythm as how Makkachin was wagging his tail. It was a sight too far from any of his expectations that Yuuri was petrified with his eyes wide opened in disbelief; his tongue felt as if it was frozen that he couldn't say a word.

"Why are you just standing there? Is something the matter?"

"B-But…" to those relaxed words, the black-haired couldn't help but stutter, "But Mari Nee-chan said…you suddenly passed out in the living room…"

"Ahahaha! Well, I did feel somewhat dizzy back there. Before I knew it, I had been lying sprawled on the floor until your sister woke me up. It turned out that I catch a cold."

That nonchalant answer was the last straw for him. All the mounting anxieties and tensions simply burst out from his chest after all his effort to keep them in place. Before he knew it, Yuuri had dropped his phone to the floor, falling to his knees.

"Y-Yuuri? Yuuri?! What's wrong?"

"…I'm glad…" the black-haired trembled, "I… I thought…. I thought something bad happened to you. When I saw Nee-chan's message, I…"

It took almost everything he had to stop himself from breaking out into tears, but Yuuri didn't want to cry in front of this man. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and headed to Viktor's bedside. Makkachin, who had been lying next to his owner, shifted to the other side when he came as if trying to make some space.

"How are you feeling now, Viktor?"

"My head still feels a bit fuzzy. I have runny nose and my throat hurts a little," replied the older man, "But I don't think it's really that bad."

"Have you had your temperature checked?" Yuuri put his palm on the other's forehead, "You feel warm."

"I haven't... Now that you mention it, I do feel quite hot," Viktor let out a sigh, but soon turned at him with his usual smile, "Well, don't worry too much, Yuuri. I'll get better if I just sleep a little."

"…Viktor," the black-haired looked straight at him, "Tomorrow's practice… Let's postpone it until you get better."

"Huh?

"For now, I'll just take a quick shower and come back here as soon as possible. Have you eaten yet? Is porridge okay?"

"But, Yuuri, you don't have to—"

"Please…" he hung his head down, clutching at the bed sheet, "I know it's just a cold, but I… I really don't want anything bad to happen to you."

There was a brief silence between them. Yuuri knew Viktor was staring at him, but he didn't know what expression that man was wearing on his face. Was he being too pushy? Did Viktor feel irritated in some way? He was well aware that he probably shouldn't be panicking over a simple cold, but even if he knew this in his head, his shoulders were still shaking.

All of a sudden, however, he felt Viktor's hand lightly patting his head.

"Okay," he said calmly, "Then, I'll be in your care, Yuuri."

It took him by surprise at first, but when he looked up, he was met with Viktor's kind gaze directed at him. Finally, the black-haired smiled in relief.

"Yes. I'll do my best to nurse you back to health."

And he did exactly as he said. After cleaning himself from all dirt and sweat, he went ahead to make a bowl of porridge before returning to Viktor's room. Along with it, he also brought ice packs and medicine.

"Wow, I didn't know you can cook. Amazing, Yuuri!" said the Russian man upon seeing the steaming porridge; his eyes gleaming with amazement.

"W-Well, if it's just this much, I can do it…" the younger man slightly blushed, "But I'm sure it would be much more delicious if my Mom were the one who made it."

"Don't be shy. It looks good enough to me," Viktor gave him a wink, "Speaking of which, are you going to feed me that delicious-looking porridge?"

"What?"

"You said you will be nursing me, right? Come on, feed me, feed me~"

"O-Okay, okay, I'll do it. Please stop bouncing around."

Having no other choice, he took a spoonful of the steaming white pulp and gently blew on it a few times. Viktor's eyes were sparkling with great anticipation while watching him, and when he finally had a taste of the said porridge, the next thing he did was to happily yell "Vkusno!"

"Delicious! This is so delicious, Yuuri! Even if I have a cold, I can tell this is really good!"

"I'm glad that you like it," feeling a little bit of déjà vu, Yuuri couldn't help but smile, "After this, you should drink your medicine and have some sleep."

"Are you going to sleep here, too?"

"S-Since I promise to nurse you back to health… I'll just bring my blanket and sleep on the sofa."

"You can just sleep with me. The bed's big enough for the two of us and—"

All of a sudden, Viktor started coughing so badly that he almost threw up what he'd just eaten. He had been so cheerful that Yuuri was caught off guard at his sudden change of condition, and without thinking he rushed at the older man.

"V-Viktor? Viktor?! What happened?!"

"It's fine… It's fine, Yuuri," the Russian smiled despite the painful look on his face, "I just felt like coughing all of a sudden. There's nothing to worry abou— Ah, my nose is running again…"

"…Seriously…" to his words, the younger man quickly pulled some tissues and let him blew his nose into it. He had only realized this now, but even though Viktor was trying to act as he usually did, there was no denying that he looked vulnerable at this moment.

And it made him wonder, how had Viktor been taking care of himself up until this point?

"Viktor…" he said to the older man, trying to sound as calm as possible, "It's alright. You don't have to finish the porridge. For now, please just rest."

"But it was delicious…"

"If you like it that much, I can make it again for you tomorrow," Yuuri smiled, "Here, don't forget to take this."

He made Viktor drank the medicine and lied him down, putting an ice pack on his forehead. His face did seem a little red and he was also slightly wheezing. Perhaps… He had been feeling bad all along, but tried not to let it show. How ridiculous of him… But Yuuri couldn't say he didn't understand that feeling.

"…Can I ask you something, Viktor?" he said, to which the older man gave him a questioning look, "Back in Russia, what did you do when you get sick?"

"Well… I just took some medicine and sleep. If it seemed pretty bad, I would go to see the doctor," replied him, "Yakov would sometimes lecture me, too, about not taking good care of myself."

"What about food?"

"I can manage something simple. As long as I'm not hungry, I'll be fine," replied the Russian with his voice starting to sound hoarse. It was only something he did without thinking; while listening to what the other man was saying, Yuuri went ahead and fixed his blanket so Viktor would be safely tucked in it. Nevertheless, at that moment Viktor touched his hand.

"Yuuri… Tonight, you're sleeping here, right?"

"…Yes…"

"That's great…" for some reason, Viktor was smiling when he said this. He brought Yuuri's hand closer to his face, pressing the palm against his own cheek as if he wanted to sleep on it. And with his eyes now half-closed, the older man softly chuckled. "Your hand is cool. It feels nice…"

"Your face is just hot."

"Is that so?"

Viktor laughed again at his remark, but said no more. Just like that, he kept holding onto Yuuri's hand until his wheezing subsided. It took awhile, but his breathing grew calm little by little. And it was only after he was sure the other man was already sound asleep that Yuuri finally pulled his hand back carefully.

"Like this, Viktor looks almost like a kid."

It was certainly a strange thing to say, considering that the man was clearly older than him. He had seen Viktor's sleeping face several times before, but only this time it felt different. Maybe he appeared more susceptible because he was ill, or it could be due to how their relationship had undergone a significant change in the past months.

After all, he would never have imagined that Viktor Nikiforov – the phenomenal skater who had broken the world's record multiple times, the living legend of Russia, and more importantly, the man whom he had been looking up to for more than ten years – would be here, living in his house, eating and sleeping right in front of him, showing him his vulnerable sides that probably no one in the whole world had ever seen.

He used to be someone so far away from his reach, but now…

"…Viktor, this isn't a dream, right? For you to be here…"

There was a small whimper cutting his train of thoughts. When he looked aside, his eyes were met with a pair of round black spheres, innocently staring at him. Makkachin had been quietly sitting on the other side of the bed all this time, and now, for some reason, the poodle shifted closer towards him, gently licking his hand.

"…Are you trying to tell me that this isn't a dream?" a smile rose to Yuuri's face, "You're right… If this were just a dream, you also wouldn't be here."

He saw Makkachin wagging his tail as he pet him playfully. Turning his sight towards Viktor again, Yuuri couldn't help but let out a small laugh, seeing how peaceful the older man was sleeping. Without thinking, he held out his hand to touch that beautiful face.

"…No. I shouldn't do it."

And yet he stopped midway.

For the second time, his thought was disrupted by a whimper made by the brown poodle beside him. He looked at those pair of black eyes, and for an unknown reason, he felt as if this fluffy fellow was questioning why he pulled his hand back. Somehow, Yuuri thought he was obligated to answer that.

"I can't do it, Makkachin," he let out a sigh, "It seems that there is still a part of me that is scared to be too close to him. I was afraid that…if I touch him, this dream will be over and I will be drawn back to reality."

He buried his face on his arms.

"Sorry… I'm such a coward, aren't I?"

Despite the mocking words he directed at himself, still Yuuri turned to see Viktor's sleeping face once more. No… This was definitely not a dream. Viktor was here, in his house, sleeping in front of him. Maybe he was scared because everything happened all too sudden, but if that were to be the case…

"…I suppose it would be alright to take it slow…"

Hesitantly, he held out his hand and touched only the tips of the other man's fingers. It was just a tiny act, but before he knew it, a smile was drawn on his face. This was enough for now. He knew that the Viktor in front of him was real, and if he fell asleep looking at his face like this, perhaps eventually he would be able to accept and grow accustomed to all of this.

"…Get well soon, Viktor. I'm looking forward to our next practice."

And not long afterwards, he, too, fell asleep.

On that night, Yuuri thought he had the strangest, yet happiest dream he'd ever seen.

He dreamt that Viktor was watching him as he slept by the bedside, softly laughing with that charming smile of his. He felt those beautiful fingers brushing his hair lovingly, caressing the side of his face as if he was the most precious in the world. Carefully, Viktor pulled him up so that they would be lying side by side, and in a gentle voice, that man whispered into his ears.

"Good night, Yuuri."

Just now… Did Viktor kiss his forehead?

We have barely ever spoken, because all this time, I have always put him on such a high pedestal

Now that he's here, my heart can't stop pounding because of how happy I am.

If I have one wish, it is so I could always eat my favorite food together with him everyday. For that, I will continue to give it my all, so that from now on I will keep and keep on winning.

That's why… "Please look only at me".