Disclamer: This would be a very long list if I told you all the things I don't own, but for now lets just say Twilight.
I was sitting alone in the fedal position, in a small apartment, thinking about her. I could here the mice in the walls and my new neighbors screaming. I was thinking about her face when I left her in the woods. I have seen her scared, in pain, and devastated. But her face was totally new. I have never seen any thing like it.
It looked confused then as she started to get what I was saying she started to get mad. Her face was very red. We were fighting and I had to lie to her and tell her that I was tierd of her and I didn`t want her. Her face gradually started to get paler and paler until it got back to normal color, but it kept going. I told her not to do anything stupid or reckless and she nodded her head and said "I will". I promised that she will never see me again and that it will be as if we never met. Eventually there was no blood left in her face. She was in shock at this point. I was starting to leave and she asked where Alice was and I told her she already left. I said "Goodbye, Bella," as calmly as I could.
I was doing very well up to this point and I tried to keep it that way until I was away from her. Far, FAR away for her. She said for me to wait and reached out for me. I reached back and grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides, I kissed her very lightly for the last time on her forehead. I said for her to take care of herself and I ran. I went into her room and picked up every thing that had to do with me. I started to leave the room but I couldn`t just take every thing away from her. It was thoughtless, but I had to leave her with something of me. So I lifted the floor board in her room and I put the things in there. I ran downstairs and wrote a note in her hand telling Charlie that she was out back in the woods. I left the house one last time, knowing that I would never be welcome to come back again. I ran back to my volvo, knowing that she was back in the woods,destroyed. It took all I had not to go and comfort her. It was much harder then even resisting her blood in the ballet studio with James.
But I did it and I sped off as fast as the car would go. I had to get away as fast as posible so I wouldn`t turn back. It`s whats best for her, she will be better off, I kept saying to myself.
I met up with my family in Denali in a surprisingly short time. I didn`t even say 'Hello' I just parked the car and ran off into the woods by the house. I ran for what seemed like no time at all and found a huge snowbank. I sat with my back up against it and just broke down. I couldn`t cry so I just sat with my knees up at my chest and my arms around them and sobbed into my knees. After what must have been hours something caught my attention. It was foot steps. I couldn`t recognize them, I was to out of it. I had stopped sobbing, but I still had my face in my knees. She came and sat next to me in the snowbank. I didn`t look up, I didn`t want to talk to any one.
It was Tanya to my utter shock. She was not happy that I was was morning My Bella (But she was not mine now) when Iwillinglyleft her. That much was evident in her thoughts. She also thought I was over reacting. She too believed Alice, who was dead set on that fact that I would go back to Bella.
Hey, How are you doing. I thought maybe you might want to join us inside. We could talk. Alone. She thought.
I wanted to roll my eyes. But I couldn`t bring myself to do it. My body was not responding like it was supposed to. Can vampires go into withdrawal? It`s whats best for her. Stop being so selfish. Since I became a vampire, my heart has not beat, but now it felt like it was being ripped from my chest. It was truly the most excruciatingly painful thing I have ever felt. And to top it off Tanya was still trying to hit on me. I swear, she really needs to get a life. If I could find my true love, even if I could not stay with her, surely she could.
"Please leave me alone, Tanya." I said, my voice was clipped. She was a little shocked at my tone, but I didn`t care. I needed to be alone.
She got up and left, but I could tell it was not over. She would try again,and again, and again if need be. I would have to tell her to get lost. And being nice about it was not working. You need to be very blunt with women like Tanya. Just one more thing I will miss about Bella. She loved me but she would never push herself on me like this. Her self confidence was way too low. It was ironic that the most beautiful being I have ever seen might have confidence problems. She never thought she was good enough for me when the truth was the exact opposite. I would never be good enough for her. Thus the reason I left and I am sitting here without her. I was to dangerous for her to be around. If my family and I did not kill her the rest of our kind would. And the only way to keep her save would be to effectively end her life and change her. Which was not an option.
After that night Tanya continued to try and seduce me to no avail. I basically just avoided being with her, alone or otherwise. After a week or so I could not take it anymore so I left my family and went south to try and find Victoria. I was not having much luck, but I kept at it. I owed it to Bella to at least get the biggest threat out of her life for good. Especially since I introduced it to her. I didn't think there was to much of a chance that she would go after Bella. But I didn't want to risk it when it could mean her life's at stake. Soon I was in Texas and the trail was getting confusing. It lead me to somewhere in Mexico and it kept going. It did not help that I was new at this. I wasn't very good at tracking. But I kept going, seemingly, not getting any closer.
If I was not tracking the only thing I could do was basically wallow in self pity. It was not getting easier, but unbelievably harder. I had to see her. I just had to. You can`t, you just can`t. You promised her. But I missed her so much it actually caused me physical pain, worse that I have ever felt before. The pain of this was as bad as the burning of being changed. But the pain was so different, that pain you could almost barethought, but this, even if I thouht it might end, it wouldn't help. I knew by now that would not be able to stay away forever. I was just trying to prolonging it now give her as much time as possible. She deserves to be happy, without me.
But every second it got harder and harder, it wouldn't have been long until I was begging for her to take me back. On my hands and knees, I would do anything to get her back now. But she will have moved on by now. It had been months. If she was happy maybe I could just leave. But I doubt I could do that. I don't think I could ever leave her again.
Right then my phone rang, I didn't bother Iooking at it, I wasn't going to talk to anyone. The phone kept ringing. I decided to pick it up. It could be my family. Something could be wrong. I looked at the caller ID and it was Rosalie, which only made it harder to pick up. Rosalie never called for a good reason.
I picked up the phone and said "What do you want, Rosalie?" in an almost tired tone.
"God, not even a hello. Nice to hear from you, too." She said in a irritated tone. I hung up on her. I doubted that made her happy,but I cant talk to her. When she talked to me like that I wanted to slap her face off her face. When the phone rang again I picked it up.
"What?" I said, in a furious way.
"Calm down, Edward. I actually have to tell you something." She waited for me to respond. I didn`t want to but I had feeling that she wouldn`t go on without it.
"Fine. What is it, Rosalie?" I asked tersely.
"Well, they are going to kill me for telling you this but I think you have a right to know. It`s about Bella." She paused. This caught my attention. What could have happened to her. Is she okay. Of course not. If Rosalie knew something. And why would they want to kill her for telling me.
"What? Rosalie, what happened to her?" I was really worried at this point. Even if she didn`t know It, I still loved her. More then anything.
"She`s dead, Edward. She's gone. Alice is in Forks to help Charlie. You can come home now, Edward. Please. Esme really misses you, and...so do come home, Edward." I dropped the phone. That couldn`t be. Bella, Dead? That just couldn`t be. I could hear Rosalie`s voice coming from the phone on the floor.
"Edward? Edward, are you there?...Edward, answer me!" I couldn`t, so I slapped the phone shut. I had to prove this wrong. Bella couldn`t be dead. that was impossible. How could she possibly die? I couldn`t believe this, so I called the only number I could think of.
"Swan`s residence" a man`s voice said. But it wasn`t Charlie's. I didn`t know who`s voice it was.
"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen" I said, imitating Carlisle's voice."May I speak to Charlie?"
"He`s not here." the man said, I was slightly aware of the anger in his voice.
"Well, were is he then?" I demanded. I couldn`t take this anymore. He had to tell me,and fast.
"He`s at the funeral." he said. That did it. I shut the phone.
She`s dead. It wasn`t a lie. My soul reason for existences was gone, for good. I didn`t think about it. It was like a reflex. I ran out the door as fast as I could, not caring if people saw me. I called the airline and got a ticket for the next flight to Italy.
A/N: yeah well I know it's over done, but hey, whatever. I wrote this like year ago and clearly I need some help with grammar and spelling, but I don't know how to use spellcheck on WordPad and that's the easiest thing for me to use, so yeah.
Please review, Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
Milly