This is the sequel to Truth, Lies, and Consequences. I hope that you enjoy it. If you have not read Truth, Lies, and Consequences you might want to read that first because I don't want to rehash things that were explained in that story.

Chapter 1

Ella sat on the balcony that overlooked the royal gardens enjoying the beautiful Denerim day. There was a crispness in the air that told her autumn was not far away, but there were still a few more days of summer left to enjoy. She loved spending the summers here at the palace. It was the one time of year that the whole family was always together. They would arrive just before the National Blight Memorial Day Celebration and stay through the Landsmeet in September. It amazed her how the Theirin line had grown from one sole survivor to a thriving family.

"Grandma…" a young voice called out.

"Out here, Love," Ella called back.

"Grandma, look what we found in a box in the cellar," The girl's chestnut brown curls bounced on her shoulders as she slid out the door onto the balcony.

"What do you have there, Roxie?" Ella asked.

The girl's beautiful green eyes twinkled as she handed her grandmother an old leather bound book. Roxie, who was almost 18 years old, looked so much like Ella's mother that times when she looked into the young girl's eyes the pain of her mother's absence would come rushing back.

It had been fifteen years since Ella's father and mother, King Alistair and Queen Bella, had received their calling and gone into the Deep Roads together. Only their three children, Duncan, Eli and herself, knew the truth of their disappearance. The official story that was told to citizens of Ferelden was that the King and Queen were on a diplomatic visit to Antiva when a sudden storm arose at sea. Their ship was hit by a rogue wave that damaged the main mass and rudder leaving the boat unable to steer through the storm. A ship that was nearby saw the royal standard and tried to get close enough to help the crew and passengers, but the relentless waves kept driving them back. The only thing the nearby ship was able to do was watch as the royal ship was battered by the ruthless waves until it took on to much water and started to go down. By the time the nearby ship could get close enough only bits and pieces of the ship remained. They were unable to find a single survivor. The citizens of Ferelden mourned their beloved King and Queen. King Alistair and Queen Bella were what legends were made of and even to this day Ella believed the people missed their saviors…their heroes.

Ella took the book and opened the cover. The title page read, 'The Life and Times of Gabriella Eleanor Cousland'.

"By the Maker, child, where did you say you found this?" Ella asked shocked.

"Eva and I were in the cellar and we found this hidden alcove that had a bunch of boxes and chests piled in there. Most of the chests were filled with armor, runes and weapons, but one of the boxes had this in it," Roxie replied.

Ella loving caressed the title page. She had thought that she had lost this book forever when the Palace was attacked years ago.

"Where is Eva now?" Ella asked.

"She has her Oleasian language lessons and then her ballroom dance lessons. It sucks to be the next in-line for the throne. Give me a sparring ring and a set of blades any day over ballroom dance lessons," Roxie replied.

Ella laughed. "My dear, you sound just like your great grandmother Bella, but I promise you will appreciate those dance lessons when there is boy whose arms you long to be in."

Roxie grinned at the comment asked, "But she was Queen of Ferelden, wasn't she stuck doing similar things too?"

"Commander Gabriella Cousland was a Grey Warden first and foremost. She felt most at home on battlefield or in a sparring ring," Ella said with a hint of pride in her voice.

"So is that my Great Grandmother's diary?" Roxie asked.

Ella nodded as Roxie continued, "I have heard so many stories and bard's songs about her and my great grandfather, but I would love to read about her life in her own words. Can I read her diary?"

Ella held the diary tight to her chest as she remembered the day that her mother sat her down and gave her this book.

Bella brushed back a stray hair and then took Ella by the hand, "My dear sweet child, you knew this day would come. Avernus was able to give us enough time to see you, Duncan and Eli grow up. We have watched you get married and have children of your own and your children have children. It is more than we ever expected." Bella said as she tried to comfort her daughter.

Tears rolled down her checks as she said, "I know, Mom, but I don't know what I'll do without you. You have always been there to guide me and support me in everything. I love and need you. I don't know how to be a Teryna and rule without your guidance and strength. You have always been my strength."

Bella wiped her tears away and said, "Sweetheart you were born to rule. You have grown up in court and watched your father and I try to always be fair and just monarchs," Bella paused as she pulled her daughter into her arms. "You have it wrong, Ella, you have always been my strength. I wanted to be the best mother to you that I could be and that in turn made be the best woman, the best wife, the best Warden, and the best Queen that I was capable of being. I wanted to be someone that you would be proud to call your Mother just as I was proud to call my Mother and my Father my parents, I hope that your father and I have made you and your brothers proud to be our children because we are so proud to call you our daughter."

"I am proud of you. The two of you are the best parents anyone could ever ask for, Mom; please, can't you stay a little longer?"

Bella shook her head, "No, my sweet child, we cannot. We have stayed to long as it is. Your father's dreams are becoming increasingly worse and it is starting to take a toll on both his physical and mental health."

"But you haven't received your calling yet…"

"Stop, Ella! I received my calling the night your father had his first nightmare," Bella interrupted. "Your father and I have always been partners in everything we do. It was decided years ago that it didn't matter which one us received the calling first that we would both go into the Deep Roads together. Your father needs me now more than you do. We should have left months ago, but he wanted to see his last great-grandchild born before we left. Of course, he is my one weakness and I can't refuse him anything so we stayed, but he needs me now more than ever for him to even make it to the deep roads so please don't ask me to stay, my dear, because I as much as I want to stay with you I cannot."

Bella paused, looked into her daughter's eyes and then continued. "Sweetheart the reason that I wanted to talk to you privately was because I wanted to give you this," Bella pulled out a parcel package and handed it to Ella. "This is my memoirs. I started writing when I was fifteen years old and have continued to do so throughout my life. I had all of the volumes copied and bound together. I am giving this to you because out of all of my children you are the only one that is a Cousland. It will give you a good history of your family and where you come from. Always remember, my dear, the strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other. This book will always remind you to put your family first."

Her mother stood up and kissed her forehead, "However, you need to wait at least one year after we have left before you read it. It will be too painful to read prior to then, but once time begins to heal your heart you will be able to take comfort in the stories found here."

Ella had tried to read the memoir shortly after her parents had left for the Deep Roads, but as always her Mother had been right – it was too painful to read her Mother's thoughts, dreams and hopes for the future so she had put it up in her closet and forgot about it. Two years later when she been injured in a sparring match and confined to bed she had stumbled across the parcel again. She opened up and began to read about her Mother's life. It was the most intriguing book she had ever read. Bella had written about everything, her mother's words fascinated her, humbled her, inspired her and at times embarrassed her, but by the time she finished the journal Ella understood her mother like she never had before and she loved her all the more.

"Grandma, did you hear me? Can I read her diary?" Roxie asked again. Ella looked at her granddaughter. Roxie reminded her of so much of her mother besides the obvious fact that they could be twins and Roxie had her mother's tenacity, vibrancy, charm and wit. Ella thought that her granddaughter could learn a lot from Gabriella Cousland.

"Eli, is this the right thing to do?" Ella asked.

"Yes, it is what must be done, Ella. The path that she is about to travel is similar to our Mother's path. She will learn a great deal from her," Eli replied.

"Yes, you can, Roxie, but you must promise me not to show this diary to anyone," Roxie started to interrupt, but Ella knew what she was going to say and stopped her. "No, you can't even share it with Eva. I know she is your cousin and best friend, but there are secrets in here that must never get out. One day Eva will be Queen and if anyone knew that she had this knowledge it could place her and everyone around her danger. Can you give me your word?""

Roxie nodded and said, "I swear to the Maker, I will not tell anyone what is in that book."

Ella smiled at her and handed her the book. "My mother was a very wise woman and I feel you could learn a lot from her. You could even use her wisdom to guide and advice Eva one day when she becomes Queen, but there are secrets that she can't know. Take good care of it and one day you can pass it on to your daughter."

Roxie smiled as she took the book and said, "I will, I promise Grandma," Roxie paused and asked, "How do you know I will have a daughter?"

Ella smiled and said, "Oh, I just do, Love. I just do."

That evening Roxie sat on her bed and opened the book. As she read began to read about the Hero of Ferelden as a young girl and she realized how much she had in common with her great- grandmother. Bella Cousland was definitely someone who liked to bend the rules without necessarily breaking them, she used her wit, charm and power of persuasion to get what she wanted, she enjoyed proving that was just as capable if not more capable then most men when it came to sparring and she was a young girl who was in love with her childhood friend. She also discovered that Bella, like herself, had a stubborn streak that at times overshadowed her better judgment. The more Roxie read about her the more she liked her and wished she had known her. Her great-grandparents ship had gone down when she was three -she had a few very vague memories of her. She was about to put the book down for the night, but as she glanced at the next entry the first line griped her.

November 5

Fear…fear was the most distinctive emotion that I remember from the night of the attack. Fear that I saw in the eyes of spouses and lovers as they helped the castle guards put their armor on, fear that was in my mother's eyes as we looked for my father, fear in Gilly's eyes as he kissed me good-bye and told me not to forget him, fear in our soldiers eyes as they realized that we were betrayed by a family friend and that Howe's soldiers were here to slaughter every soul in the castle.

Fear… it has a very distinctive smell, it has a sour acidic scent; when mixed with the metallic smell of blood and the pungent smell of urine because a man has lost control of his bladder due to his fear in the last moments of his life it becomes the scent that I will always associate with death.

Fear…has a very distinctive sound - the cries of men begging for mercy, the prayers of the dying begging for relief and the screams of those still alive as they face the torture that the barbarians have in-store for them.

And then there is my fear…I fear that I left my parents to a fate worse than death at the hands of Howe's butchers. I fear what those men will have done to my mother if she was not killed when they initially broke into the lauder and I fear what my father may have witnessed done to her if he was still alive when those cruel savages broke through the lauder door.

Now that we are a day's journey from Ostagar I fear that because I am the last Cousland alive that everyone will view me as a coward because I didn't stay, fight and die with my parents. I fear that if my brother is alive that once I tell him that I left our parents to their fate while I escaped that I will see hatred and disgust in his eyes for me because of my actions. I fear that I am no longer capable of being a just, honorable, decent and noble person. Those qualities did nothing to save my mother and father so what good are they to me now. But most of all I fear is that if I don't somehow learn to overcome the events of that night, come to terms with it and put it behind me that it will become the defining moment in my life and that it will turn me into someone I don't know or like.

Roxie sat there stunned by Bella's omission. She had heard stories about the night that the Cousland family was betrayed, but the way that Bella had described it shock her to the core. Roxie thought that she had experienced fear before, but she realized that she never truly had. What moved Roxie the most was that not once did her great-grandmother mention that she was afraid for her life or her safety. Her fears were for others and their fates and what she feared the most for herself was what others would think of her and would she be able to overcome this monumental moment in her life. Roxie closed the memoir and prayed that if the time ever came that she would be able to face fear with the same grace and humility that Bella Cousland did.