CHAPTER ONE/ICHI/EIN/UN/UNO/1 IN ANY OTHER LANGUAGES I'M LEAVING OUT
Italy smiled up at Germany. "What are we doing today, G-err, Captain?" he asked brightly. "Nothing," Germany said, glancing up from his paperwork. "I'm too busy with work to play with you, Italia." "Bu-" "No buts," Germany cut him off. "Go bother someone else." Italy nodded, saluted with his left hand, and skipped away singing. 'Whew,' Germany thought. 'I won't have to deal with him today. Maybe he'll have the good sense to stay away from Francis and my brother...' he trailed off as he looked out the window and saw Italy talking to the Bad Touch Trio and Romano. France made a comment, then grinned in a lecherous way. Prussia sneered at Italy, and oblivious Spain laughed in a sunny way as he compared the furiously blushing Romano's face to a tomato. 'Dammit!' Germany thought as he abruptly stood from his work. He had to go save Italy from them...again.
By the time he got outside, the five were gone. He whistled for his dog Buddy, and when he came, held out one of Italy's shirts that he'd left after a siesta. "Find Italy, boy," Germany whispered to the dog, who was used to having to track the wayward Italy. Buddy barked once and set off at a trot towards the woods, his master following.
"-" "Stop that, it's getting annoying." "...-" "And that's just plain creepy." "... ... ... ...Become one wi-" "NO! I will NOT become one with you! *sigh* I'm seriously starting to doubt that this was a good idea." "OK, fine, fine, I von't talk anymore. That's vhat jou vant, da?." "Yes, good, thank you." "..." "..." "...u kaki kimoyo, so meru akun-" "AARGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! IT'S WORSE THAN DEALING WITH A DRUNK FRANCE!" England threw down his needlepoint and stormed out of the room. "...All avone again, da..." Russia sadly told his knitting. "I guess a sewing club vasn't a good idea after all..."
Germany was getting worried. It was almost noon and he still hadn't caught up to Italy. He imagined what France might have done to Feliciano by now and spurred on the tiring Buddy. "Come on, boy, we have to catch up to them," he said under his breath. "We have to save Italia!"
Outside of the room, England sighed. He'd heard Russia's words after he'd left and was starting to feel a bit bad for snapping like that. He actually rather liked Russia's voice, he was just used to silence, being one of the Lonely Islands. He sighed again. "Flying Mint Bunny, go cheer him up," he addressed the air. Well, he saw a Flying Mint Bunny, but most people didn't. They just thought that Iggy had issues and backed away slowly.
"Will do!" a peppy, high-pitched voice chimed and a small breeze stirred as F.M.B. flew though the door (which was open a crack) and over to the giant nation. "Don't be sad, be happy! Cheer up! Britain is sorry for making you sad!" It said, flying in circles around Russia's head. Russia blinked. "Ah, vho're jou? I've never seen jou before, da?" "YOU CAN SEE ME?" F.M.B. did a few flips. "Usually only UK and Norway can see me! Oh, I'm the Flying Mint Bunny!" "Aaah...Nice to meet jou, Flying Mint Bunny! Jou're cute, da! Not like my friend..." 'Oh! Who's that?" Russia smiled sadly. "Trust me, jou don't vant to meet him, nyet, nyet." "Why not?" "He's not a nice person, nyet, nyet." "But..." As the new friends continued talking, England stared from the door. 'Russia can see Flying Mint Bunny? I thought only I could! And who's this 'friend' of his?'
Japan reached for his cup of tea and jumped a little when it cracked. 'That's never a good omen...' he thought as he checked that none of his tea had spilt. 'I hope that England-san and the others are alright...'
Germany had been wandering for a while. Buddy had lost the trail about an hour ago and started chasing squirrels, speeding away from his master. Buddy knew the way home; he'd be fine. But Germany might not be, for the blonde was now, against his wishes, lost. He was just wondering when he would see another human again when the forest ended abruptly and he stumbled out into the sun. Once his eyes had adjusted to the light, he looked around. He was standing on the edge of a grain field that stretched on for quite a while. He sighed and started following the edge of the forest around the field.
'Ve! v...e! 8 points, right, France-nii-san?" "Yes, Feli-chan, you're good at this, mon cheri!" "...bastard..." "What was that, Roma-chan?" "Bastard. b-a-s-t-a-r-d. 24 points." "Oh, you're so good at this, Romano! And so cute!" Romano blushed at Spain's words. "Especially. When. You! BLUUUUSHHHH!" France and Prussia held Spain back from his young ward as he cried "BUUUUUUUUUHYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEE!" repeatedly and waved his arms in what Romano termed a 'Molestation Incoming Cry' and France called a 'Pedo Attack'.
They finally managed to calm Spain back down and went back to playing Scrabble. 'This isn't what I had in mind when Italy said he wanted to play with us,' thought France as he spelled a word that Italy didn't know and didn't need to know, 'But it'll do. Like England is always saying, my life can't revolve around being perverted.' "Tomato! 16 points for Oya-bun!"
"England! Jou're friend is fun!" Russia exclaimed happily when the blonde re-entered the room. 'And what? I'm not?' he thought immediately, but dismissed it just as fast. 'That's not what he means,' he told himself, then realized he hadn't responded yet. "Oh, uh, yes, Flying Mint Bunny is great, isn't it?" "Englaaaand! He can see me! And someone else, but he won't tell me who!" F.M.B. chimed in a range that neither of the men could reach. "Oh? And who might that be?" he asked Russia. "...Somevune vho's not nice," he answered, looking away. "Come on, who is it? You can tell us."
"*sigh*... Da. Da, I vill tell jou. His name..." here he looked around, as if checking that no one was listening, even though he, England, and the Flying Mint Bunny were the only ones in the room. "...his name is...is General Vinter." he whispered. "General Winter?" England exclaimed. "Shhhh, not so loud, he'll hea-" Russia cut off when he saw a single snowflake floated past his nose. "Here he is..." Russia said sadly as more snow came out of nowhere and began swirling. Slowly, the snowy whirlwind condensed into a shape. A large man, bigger than Ivan, materialized out of the snow. "A friend...and an enemy... He attacks me yearly, but protects me from invasion in vartime...Isn't that right, General Vinter?" General Winter nodded and moved near, standing behind Ivan so close that he could feel the chill coming off of his skin. "He doesn't talk...not like jou and I...but I can still understand him," Russia expained as said General rested a sub-zero hand on his shoulder. "Don't vorry, General, dese are friends. Jou don't have to fight, nyet, no fighting!" General Winter just shifted closer to Russia's back, his hand clenching on Russia's shoulder, his body touching Russia's uncomfortably, and glared over his 'friend's' head at UK and F.M.B. 'Something's going to happen,' UK realised and tensed. Whatever happened next, it wouldn't end well.
Germany wiped his brow. He'd been walking all day, skipped lunch and had no water. Thankfully, a small cottage was in view, and a smaller garden for vegetables behind it. And...was that a person in the garden? As he got closer, he saw what appeared to be the farmer's wife, in a large sunhat and a polka-dotted skirt. Her back was turned, so he didn't know if he knew her or not. "Excuse me, ma'am," Germany called as he drew near, "But I am lost an-Poland?"
Sure enough, the 'she' had been a 'he'. Poland turned and put his hands on his hips. "OK, did you, like, totally just call me 'ma'am'? I so take offense to that! I'm like totally male! See, I can prove it-" he said, tugging at his skirt. "No, no, please no, that is fine, there's enough nudity when Italy is around. Which reminds me. Have you seen Spain, Italy, Romano, France, or my brother lately? I'm looking for them." "Uh, noo! I, like, never see anyone out here! It's totally lame, but we have to stay out here to plant and harvest and all that." Discouraged, Germany said, "I see-wait, 'we'?" "Yeah, Liet and I totally farm together. It makes it easier, ya know?" "Where is Lithuania? Perhaps he has seen them?" "I'll, like, go get him. He's inside." Poland walked into the cottage, leaving Germany outside. 'Hopefully he has seen them. Italy..!'
"Sooooo, now that our game of Scrabble is done, how about we play 'Spin the Bottle'?" France whipped out a soda bottle from who-knows-where and waggled his eyebrows. "Huh? Huh?" Romano blushed and muttered a "fine," Spain approved, Prussia "Kesesesese"'d, Italy innocently agreed, and France smirked. What did that stupid Igirisu know anyway?
CHAPTER ONE END