Dogs that Love Snakes

Chapter One: Something Different

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters of Naruto.

The silver-white haired jonin sat lazily in one of the branches of an oak tree as the gentle breeze of autumn caressed his cheek and he was in a state of dreaming. In his hand was his one of his favorite books, Icha Icha Vacation, part of a popular series that was written by the great Toad Sage sanin, Jiraiya, and was one of those books that gets a person really strange looks from women. It wasn't like he was reading it for the ecchi scenes, even though he did get a lot of sexual ideas from said scenes, but he loved it because of the romance and the drama that was in each chapter. In Kakashi's opinion, they were the most misunderstood book series of all time and when he heard people bad mouthing it he would always rise to its defense. That day he was too tired to get in an argument with somebody and hoped that no one would give him that look, less he whip out the sharingan and go berserker on someone's ass. He was reading one of the very scenes that gained the book the scrutiny it got when he felt her presence, the presence of one of the most crazed women he had ever known and the only kuinochi who was a close friend to him. Kurenai was a friend, but only as an extension of Asuma, Kakashi's best friend, being her boyfriend.

"I see your still reading that trash, porn freak," said Anko as she plopped down next to him with a sly grin. "Keep your hands right where I can see them so I know you aren't doing anything perverted."

"You wish," replied Kakashi as he blew her off deciding it wasn't worth the effort of starting a little play fight which would turn into a real fight and a real fight with Anko was always something to avoid.

"So what are you reading, a new one or one of those that you've already made, porn freak," said Anko as she took out one of her dango sticks.

"Well, candy junky, I'm reading a new one for your information," replied Kakashi in his monotone voice that always got Anko angry because it made it seem like he was barely acknowledging her existence. "It's better than, say, those cheesy romance fictions that some writer posts on the internet, what's her name, Snakelover27. I swear they have the most predictable plot imaginable and it's a fan fiction for a really terrible love story about some charmingly goofy guy. A lot of people must want to rip off Charlie Chaplin, or at least have the token charming Englishmen."

Kakashi knew that she was Snakelover27 and that she was very proud of all the reviews she got that were positive, but she was only as good as the story she was writing the fan fic for. It was her favorite story to boot, so when Kakashi was bad mouthing the story Anko got a little bit more than pissed. Without a single word, she threw a kunai at the book in Kakashi's hands, only to have it picked out of the air and thrown into one of the posters for the upcoming movie based off of Anko's favorite story. Kakashi saw with wide eyed horror the poster that he had just used as a bull's eye and then he turned his head back to the angry Anko who had snapped the dango stick in her mouth in anger, the most obvious sign that Kakashi was severely fucked.

Shenlong made sure no one was around when he cleaned his shades off and placed them back over his eyes. They weren't there to keep the sun out of his eyes or anything, but he did have a sensitivity to light coming from the constant covering of his eyes. The truth was that he kept the sunglasses on to hide his greatest secret. He then looked at the to do list that Yuki had left for him while he was off training abroad for two months and his eyes were drawn to something on the list. Under "bring me back something nice from whatever foreign lands you travel" was "shave, you look like you live in the woods." Can she not get off the whole shaving thing, thought Shenlong with a sigh as he checked himself in the reflection of his kunai. He was growing hair under the side of his chin, but he had nothing to connect it with in the front so a lot of people thought he should shave. Shenlong loathed to shave and had told people that so many times that he began to grow a habit of sneaking off when Yuki started talking about shaving. The last fight they had was about his wild man beard and that was something Shenlong had no intention of starting again, so he brought up the kunai as he looked into a small bit of water that he was manipulating to give him a reflection. He checked his small bit of hair to see if he needed to cut it, but it was still the small size that he had always imagined it would be. As soon as he began to cut, he saw something behind him in the reflection that caused him to turn around to make sure that he was actually seeing Anko and Kakashi fighting each other. Well actually Anko was fighting and Kakashi was avoiding, but minor details like that were besides the point as they were heading his way.

"This is why I hate shaving, I'm always interrupted when I'm doing it," said Shenlong as he picked up his things and started to move away from the two jonin.

"PORN FREAK," shouted Anko as she threw a kunai at him, but he jumped to another tree quickly enough to avoid it. It was hard for him to jump when he was in a sitting position moments before and it was certainly hard when the kunai was thrown with all the anger that Anko had in her body right now, which was a lot. "DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY FAVORITE STORIES OR THROW ANYTHING AT JUDE LAW."

"Calm down Anko, we can talk this out," said a nervous Kakashi as he dodged one of the incoming shuriken that had an explosive tag attached to it. "Whoa, Anko, calm down you're not thinking straight. That attack almost killed me."

"Your damn right it almost killed you," shouted Anko as twin snakes came from her sleeve to try and bite Kakashi, but Kakashi had moved back just in time to get out of their reach.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong about what I said about your fan fic," said Kakashi as he caught his breath. "You write just as good as the author does, maybe even better, and that is quite well."

"Ah, thank you so much Kakashi," said Anko as she hugged him, her chest pressing against his own causing him to blush uncontrollably. "Uhh…Kakashi, what's wrong with your face? And you're burning up, do you have a fever?"

"No it's not that," said Kakashi as he pushed away, taking her hand off of his head. In reality, Kakashi didn't know why he blushed just at a hug; he was calm even under the sight of other women naked, but for some reason that one hug was so much more. "Well I guess I should go check on my students."

"Former students, Kakashi," corrected Anko as she sighed again. "You just can't imagine them as anything but your students, even if one of them has already made jonin."

"Well Naruto is so innocent that I'm afraid that some crazy woman would take advantage of him," replied Kakashi before adding, "That's why I'm determined to keep a close eye on you, for Naruto's safety."

"If your referring to the fake mission we put him through for acceptance into ANBU than I have to remind you it was my job," said Anko, remembering how she had put him through a seduction test, going no short than offering him sex, which surprisingly he had agreed to after the exam. She hadn't told anyone that and Naruto hadn't told his girlfriend, Hinata about it either, but it had been memorable for her since she didn't expect Naruto be that good. "I had no interaction like that at all if you must know."

"You know, Anko, he talks in his sleep," said Kakashi as he grinned at her, but on the inside he sort of felt something against the idea of his former student and her having sex. "It really surprised Hinata and I when we were on that mission, but I think you should know that he also mentioned the part where he was apologizing for shouting Hinata's name."

"He never did shout Hinata's name," retorted Anko before realizing that Kakashi had just tricked her to giving away her secret. "So we had sex, he was of age and a willing participant in the whole matter, it's not like I raped him. As soon as Hinata confessed her love for him we parted ways so there is no harm done."

"And I'm considered the pervert," said Kakashi with a mocking sigh that gave Anko the greatest urge to punch him, but at the same time she felt too ashamed to do anything. For some reason, Kakashi had a grievance with her actions and she wanted to make it up to him, also for some unknown reason that she could not name.

"Fine I see how it is," said Anko as she pulled one of her arms out of her trench coat and let the whole thing slide off her shoulders.

"Anko what are you doing," asked Kakashi, who was taken aback by the whole thing.

"I'm making it up to you, now get over here," replied Anko in a demanding way.