"Why must fireflies die so young?"
The black mage's glowing eyes looked up inquiringly at the metal-clad mountain of a man standing beside him, dwarfing the already diminutive magician more. It was the eyes, more than anything, which endeared young Vivi Ornitier to those around him. The eyes which exude innocence and perennial inquiry. In the darkening twilight as the day bade goodbye in the graveyard of the other black mages who have 'stopped' in this village of the Black Mages, amongst several dozen or so fireflies, those eyes posed a question to Adelbert Steiner again.
And again, the captain of the Pluto Knights was at a loss for an answer. "Uh…I-i really don't know the answer, Master Vivi. I guess it was just their nature. As all living things must follow their own predestined fate, so must the fireflies whose lives are but a flicker like their lights."
Vivi turned his gaze to look back at the raised mounds of earth they had been looking and slowly raised his left hand in front of him. He watched as a lone luminous green slowly flitted its way into his forefinger and landed there. The greenish glow danced hues with the red gloves, looking almost blackish now because of the dying rays of the sun. "But it just doesn't make sense. How can something so beautiful and innocent die just like that?"
Steiner just remained silent. What could he say? All he ever concerned himself about was his job, and that was the safety of his queen and his kingdom. In all his life, he never entertained trivial thoughts such as the question that Vivi asked him now. Such childish questions had long been erased from his mind a long time ago, ever since he started enlisting in the ranks of the great Alexandria knights when he was still fifteen. That had been eighteen years ago, and if anything, the only questions that had been plaguing his mind since then were how he would be able to protect his charges better.
The knight found himself letting out a small sigh at the thought. Had it been that long? Eighteen years of servitude and unquestioning allegiance to the banner and crest of the Alexandros royal family. And that unwavering fealty to the last queen had been shattered when he discovered that Queen Brahne had planned on sacrificing the life of the then Princess Garnet-his charge-and for what? Power and selfishness. What had those eighteen long years been for?
Fortunately, though, that broken faith had been regained due, ironically, to the brave optimism and courage of a stalwart young thief whom he initially abhorred. Even now, he realized that he had never really thanked Zidane for giving him back his shaken faith. And right now, it seemed as if he will never have the chance again. Zidane went back to the Iifa Tree after they defeated the nigh-omnipotent Necron, with the intention of saving Kuja. It had been three months and still, there was no word from the young genome. Looking up at the first few stars appearing in the skyline now, he whispered another thanks to the missing bandit. For giving him back his honor as a knight.
He looked down again to the short mage standing beside him who was still holding out his hand as if the firefly was still there perched on his fingers. Another one drifted in front of the small magician, softly illuminating his upper body with an ethereal greenish glow and the young black mage childishly held out both short hands as if wanting to catch the firefly.
It was then that Steiner realized why Vivi had endeared himself to him. Before, he thought that it was because the young mage reminded him of the younger brother he never had. Now, it suddenly dawned to him why. Vivi was the childhood he never had because he grew up too quickly.
"Master Vivi, twilight has come past," Steiner said softly. "It would be rude of us to let Queen Garnet wait. And I would wager that Quina is almost finished with the food."
"I understand Mister Steiner," Vivi said. Looking one last time at the graves and the fireflies, they finally turned away as the sun finally slept.
When they arrived at Castle Alexandria, it was Eiko Carol who they found instead, sitting on one of the great chairs on the main room and looking at the great portraits of the ancestors and relatives of the ruling family of Alexandria. Her gaze was firmly intent on a rather youngish picture of the Regent Cid of Lindblum. The young summoner's feet were hanging freely beneath the grand chair, absentmindedly swinging them to and fro and all the while, her expression was one of childish seriousness, her head slightly tilted to one side. So intent was she with her thoughts that she never even heard the great doors open when Steiner and Vivi came in. It was only after the two were within two meters away from her when the young summoner noticed them. At seeing the two, her eyes lit up and she nimbly climbed down the relatively tall chair.
"Steiner! Vivi!"
"Hello Miss Eiko," Vivi said, trying to put on an elegant bow inspite of his height.
"Why, Lady Eiko, you are early, for a change," Steiner said, bowing to the child summoner.
"Oh come on Steiner," Eiko said, wrinkling her nose. "Please don't get all stuffy like that. I hate it when you do that. You too, Vivi."
"Ah, but I must, m'lady," Steiner said. "As the adopted daughter of the ruler of Lindblum, 'tis my sworn duty to pay resp--"
"Reshpect-meshpect," Eiko said, crossing her arms across her chest. "I thought we were friends? Friends don't go 'round bowing and saying 'mistress-this' and 'mistress-that' to their friends. It's just so durn annoying."
At the language the horned child said, Steiner raised an eyebrow. "I see the Regent still hadn't curbed down your language, young lady."
"See? You can talk to me as if I'm just anyone!" Eiko grinned.
Having realized his apparent mistake, the Pluto captain blanched. "I-I'm sorry, m'lady. Forgive me! I--!"
"Vivi," Eiko sighed. "Could you zap him with a bolt of Thundara?"
Vivi tilted his head, a little confused. "I'm sorry, Miss Eiko, but why should I?"
"Oh, you both are no fun!" Eiko pouted.
A laugh lilted from across the large room, interrupting the banter of the three. Everyone turned around at the familiar voice.
"Whatsafunny, Freya?" Eiko said, still pouting.
"Oh, nothing, Mistress Eiko," Freya Crescent chuckled, her nose twitching. She was out of her dragoon uniform, for once, deciding instead on a pink, floral gown. The sight was odd enough to merit stares from both Eiko and Steiner. Only Vivi's expression did not seem to change.
"A good eve, Lady Freya," Steiner said, bowing. "You look…unusual tonight."
"Should I take that as a compliment, Captain Steiner?" Freya asked. Her rat face showed a hint of a mischievous grin, accentuated by the narrowing of her left eye.
"I think he means you look wonderful, Freya," Eiko grinned. "I wonder what Sir Fratley had to say about it?"
"He thinks I look beautiful in it," Freya said. Her voice turned on a somber tone. "It seemed that he did not remember that it was him who gave it to me on my sixteenth moonbirth."
At what the lady dragoon said, the three became silent. Sir Fratley's behavior was as refined as any dragoon knight's, perhaps even more so. He seemed perfect for Freya in every way and, indeed, he and the lady dragoon shared an intimate past together. It seemed that destiny's path had already intertwined their fates and all seemed set. Except for the fact that the legendary dragoon knight had a severe case of amnesia during one of his journeys. When he did return, he remembered nothing. And it was a fate that, to Freya, was worse than death. The hope still lingered in her heart, however, that his memory would return someday. That was the reason why she had started wearing various articles of clothing he had given her when they were still together. When he still showed cognizance.
When he still loved and remembered her as the Freya Crescent of his childhood.
"Uhm, where is Her Majesty?" Steiner suddenly said, in an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence growing among them.
"Upstairs," Freya said.
"In her bedroom?" Steiner asked.
"As far as I know, yes," Freya replied.
"She was already in her bedroom when I left for the Black Mage Village this afternoon," Steiner said. He looked up towards the marbled grand staircase leading to the second floor. "I suppose she still hadn't come out?"
"I will go talk to her," Freya said, gathering up her gown. "You go see if Quina had already finished with dinner."
"I will," Steiner said.
"I hear Quina's cooking mushrooms," Eiko grinned, looking at the knight impishly. She knew how much the captain of the Pluto guards hated mushroom.
"Oh by the Eidolons I hope not," Steiner said, rolling his eyes. "As good as that creature is in cooking, a mushroom dish is one not fit for royalty."
"Hahaha. You better learn to live with it, Steiner," Eiko said. "I hear General Beatrix's favorite dish is mushroom on peppered cheese."
Steiner swallowed hard and bowed. "I will take my leave, Lady Eiko, Master Vivi. I still have to try and stop that chef from cooking mushrooms. I hope to see you both in the royal dining room as before." With that, the knight walked away, the sound of clanging echoing in the large chamber.
They watched the iron-clad captain clink away towards the direction of the kitchen for a bit before Vivi turned towards Eiko. "Miss Eiko, how are you doing? How is Lindblum? It has been long since I was there."
"It's the same as before," Eiko said. "Although there is still rebuilding going on, the place is bustling busier than ever. And oh, your name is still tacked on the Festival board." She grinned.
"Please don't remind me of it," Vivi said, seemingly blushing from underneath the black void that was his face. His glowing eyes briefly sparked at the remark. "It was purely by chance and luck that I managed to escape from that beast."
"Hahaha, but you were doing great back then!" Eiko teased, sitting back on the large chair. She gaily swung her feet again. "Who would've thought that a small guy like you could be the winner of the Festival of the Hunt?"
"Luck," Vivi parried. "How is the Regent Cid?"
Eiko became silent for a bit, and then she turned to look at the large picture in front of them again. "He is doing fine. It seemed that he and Aunt Hilda have been getting along great again."
"Aunt…?" Vivi asked.
"Vivi, I am afraid of calling them father and mother," Eiko said softly. "I don't suppose you could understand as I don't think you've ever had one…but I am afraid."
Vivi looked down, clutching his hands together in front of him.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt your feelings about what I said," Eiko hastily said.
"I-it's okay. You were saying the truth," Vivi said. He looked at the child summoner. "But isn't that what you've always wanted? Some people to be with you? You don't have to be alone anymore, Miss Eiko. You can finally have a family."
"B-but…if I call them that…and I would care…" Eiko blurted, ".…and then, what if something happens, and they'll go away…and I'll be alone….it will hurt…"
"Miss Eiko…" Vivi said.
"…I'm afraid of being alone again, Vivi," Eiko cried softly, placing her face in her hands. "I don't wanna lose another family again."
The black mage, unsure of what to do, softly walked to the crying little girl, climbed up the chair, sat beside her and wrapped his short arms around her and patted her back. "Zidane once told me…that living means you take a risk. That life is full of them, and that it will never be a life unless you take a chance. Miss Eiko, I would give half my life if I could be faced with a decision such as yours."
Eiko sniffed and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "Vivi?"
"Yes, Miss Eiko?"
"If…if I will commit and decide to call them father and mother…will…," Eiko looked at the black mage, her eyes pleading, "Will you be my brother?"
Vivi looked at the blue-haired girl for a minute, a bit taken aback by her request. Then, he embraced the sniffing girl tight. A rush of emotions he couldn't quite untangle right now washed through his being. He, someone's brother? A member of an actual family?
"Promise me," Eiko whispered, resting her head on the black mage's shoulder. "Promise me that you'll be my brother. So I won't have to be afraid anymore."
"I promise," Vivi said. And, from one of those glowing, luminous eyes, a tear fell.
It was mushroom.
"How you like mushrooms?" the androgynous Quina Quen asked Steiner enthusiastically, its hanging tongue swaying side to side. Quina leaned on the table towards the knight's direction, who was sitting just across the chef.
Steiner, face grim, tried his best to act civil. He was, after all, in the presence of his queen. "Very satisfactory. Master Quina. I. Like it. A…." he swallowed hard, lips quivering. "Lot."
"I so happy!" Quina said, jumping up and down. "I cook mushroom again next dinner! For you, Rusty!"
"Yippee." Steiner murmured without enthusiasm. He surreptitiously pushed his plate away from him, towards Vivi who was sitting beside him. The small mage looked at the plate curiously and then at the knight, before turning to look at Eiko who was sitting across him. Eiko, for her part, was enjoying the discomfort of the knight.
"Quina, do you know Steiner likes mushroom with garlic more?" Eiko grinned. "Seasoned with oglop."
Freya bit her lower lip to keep from bursting out laughing. Steiner's eyes widened at the young girl's suggestion. His lips quivered and it seemed that he would love nothing more right now than to wring the girl summoner's neck, the Regent's adopted daughter or not.
Quina turned its head back towards Steiner. "True? Rusty like mushroom and oglop? I cook oglop specialty then!"
Steiner blanched at the cook's suggestion. "Oh no, Master Quina! Please. The effort is not worth it!"
It seemed, however, that Quina's ears had automatically closed. If there was anything that could override any of Quina's sense of reason, it was cooking. Walking happily, the chef excused itself from the table, chanting "I make good oglop mushroom soup for Rusty! Rusty like me more!" It waved its huge fork in the air, walking towards the kitchen in its distinctive way.
Steiner groaned and covered his face with a gauntleted hand.
Everyone laughed, then. Everyone, that is, except for Garnet Til Alexandros XVII, Queen of Alexandria. All she ever gave was a wan smile as she listened at the cheerful banter of her closest friends and, for a time, comrade in arms. She looked at everyone present this evening and, as always, two seats were empty. Ever since she asked that the group hold a dinner every Friday of the week months ago, as a weekly reunion of sorts, those two chairs had been empty. Looking at a particular chair (the one just across the table from where she sat), she felt a lump forming in her throat.
It took every courage she had as the youngest queen of Alexandria to maintain order in her recently devastated kingdom. From a sheltered sixteen-year old princess, she had suddenly been thrust into the overwhelming world of adulthood and responsibility without ever having the benefit of a transition. How was one supposed to act, then? How was a teenage youth supposed to handle matters meant for an adult, especially when you had to bear the pain of the fact that your predecessor, the person whom you have called as mother ever since you can remember, wanted to have you killed for the sole purpose of extracting a power that had been sleeping within you? Looking at everything, it had been surreal, and had things been otherwise, Garnet would have turned away from everything and run away.
The only reason she managed to hold on for this long was because of these same people who had gathered here in her castle every Friday night to enjoy a quiet dinner. Among friends. Among the people she had shared a bond with. They had given her strength to continue.
And then, there was the other reason. She had been waiting for him to come back. Although it had been three months already since that last time they parted, she knew somehow that she had to keep the hope alive. He would come back. He promised her. He had to come back.
"Your majesty?" The voice brought Garnet back from her musings. It was then that she realized that she hadn't eaten one speck of her food.
"Are you okay, Dagger?" Eiko asked, tilting her head, a little concerned.
"Y-yes," Garnet smiled. "I-i'm just preoccupied with things, that's all."
"I thought you said that when we'll have these dinners, we leave our day-to-day activities and problems behind?" Eiko pouted. "You're not backing on your word, are you, Dagger?"
Garnet gave the child a warm smile. "Of course not Eiko. Forgive me. Okay. Promise. No more musings during dinner."
Eiko let out a happy smile. "Yippee! Anyway, as I was saying, Uncle Cid--"
"'Uncle' Cid?" Steiner asked.
"Don't interrupt me Steiner!" Eiko said, pouting again. "Just because he adopted me does not mean that I hafta call him 'Father' right away, doesn't it?"
"I pity the Regent," Steiner said.
"I quite agree with Lord Steiner's sentiments, Lady Eiko," Freya intoned. "The Regent had always wanted a child. It would surely gladden his heart if you would address him father."
"I know," Eiko said, sinking back to her chair. "I will be calling him that soon. And Aunt Hilda, mother. I was afraid. But now…not anymore. I'm not afraid anymore. Right, Vivi?" She smiled at the mage.
"Uhm, yes," Vivi said haltingly. "Miss Eiko is not afraid anymore. Because she is going to have a brother." It felt strange saying that.
"A brother?!" Steiner asked, almost spitting out his food. "Is the Regent pregnant? I mean, is the Lady Hilda pregnant?"
Eiko laughed gaily, clapping her hands. "No."
"Then…?" Steiner asked. Freya and Garnet looked at Eiko, as well.
"It's a secret!" the little girl said, winking at Vivi conspiratorially. "Vivi and my secret. Right Vivi?"
Vivi nodded. "Right, Miss Eiko." He turned to look at Steiner. " A secret."
"So now you're keeping secrets from me?" Steiner asked Vivi. He put on a pained expression. "You wound my feelings, Master Vivi."
Vivi was about to reply when Eiko interrupted him. "Now, Steiner. Don't you be making Vivi feel guilty! It's his and my secret, so don't you be poking in!"
Freya sipped wine from her glass before clearing her throat. "By the way, a dragoon knight told me that he saw Amarant days ago. He was passing by Burmecia."
"He didn't drop by the Dragoon Tower to give you a visit?" Steiner asked. "It's just like him."
"Setting aside the fact that we still haven't moved the dragoon army into the Tower and thus would be unable to find me even if he did pay the Tower a visit, no he didn't even try to contact me," Freya replied.
"Amarant is a jerk," Eiko said, crossing her arms. "I mean, he knew we're holding dinner every Friday night. The least he could do was drop by every now and then. It's not like he has a reason for not coming here, you know. Unlike Zidane who's been mis--"
The last words caused the others to stop eating and look at the young girl and then at Garnet. It was then that Eiko stopped, suddenly conscious of what she said. She put a hand over her mouth but already, it was too late. She turned and looked towards where Garnet was sitting.
Garnet was looking down at her plate, eyes starting to cloud. Her lips quivered ever so slightly while her hands clasped the fork and knife tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"Dagger…" Eiko started, her voice soft.
Garnet slowly stood up, pushing her chair back quietly a few inches. She was still looking down, as if she could see Zidane's face in her plate. "Excuse me, everyone," she said softly before turning around and running up the stairs.
Everyone watched as their queen disappeared up the great flight of marbles staircase. Then, they turned to look at Eiko. The little girl, meanwhile, sunk back to her chair. "I'm sorry. I did not mean-"
"It's quite alright, Miss Eiko," Steiner said. "'Tis not your fault."
"She still hadn't gotten over him," Freya said softly.
Vivi looked at everyone before he stepped down from his chair. "Excuse me, everyone." Then, he waddled towards the staircase, following Garnet.
Vivi found Garnet where he thought she would be. On the balcony on the top of the castle. From this vantage point of view, the young mage could see the large crystal sword soaring up in the sky as if reaching towards the first moon, which was now on its fullest circle. A smaller one can be seen in the distance, not yet full, but will be in a few days. The moonlight bathed the whole place in a bluish glow, accentuated more by the millions of stars which seemed to blanket this particular evening. The night sky was clear, with nary a speck of cloud in sight.
But Garnet was not paying attention to the sky, or the moons, or the beautiful evening. She was looking in the vast distance, seemingly into nowhere. In the illuminated evening, the mountains of Nolrich Heights south of Alexandria, just beyond the deep valley, was clearly outlined in the distance. Normally, the thick fog prevented anyone to see such a vast distance, but tonight, there was no fog.
"Miss Dagger…" Vivi said, his child-like voice hesitating.
"He is somewhere out there, isn't he, Vivi?" Garnet asked. Her voice was wavering, as if she was fighting hard not to cry.
"Yes, Miss Dagger, he is," Vivi said. He walked to where Garnet was standing, her hands placed on the marble balcony. She looked beautiful, almost unearthly, standing there in her white royal gown and bathed with moonlight. The black mage stood beside her, looking into the vast distance. Lights from the kingdom shone below while on far away, silhouettes of mountain ranges jut out from the dark blue night horizon. Everything was peaceful in Gaia now. All because of them. All because of him.
"Then, why hadn't he come back yet?" Garnet asked. "He promised us, didn't he?"
"Maybe he has his reasons, Miss Dagger," Vivi replied. "He always had his reasons, although sometimes we just can't understand it. But we always believed in him, didn't we?"
"Yes, we did," Garnet said. She sniffed.
"Then why do you still doubt his return?" Vivi asked. "It is not my place to ask, for I confess that I still have much to learn about emotions. But isn't it a basic truth that as long as we're alive, there's still that hope that makes us go on?"
"I love him," Garnet said. "I don't think I have ever told him that. When he asked us to leave him in the Iifa Tree, I know that it would be a long while before I could see him again. I thought it would just be a week. Or two. But as the days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months, no matter how much hope I still have left, Vivi, I am afraid that maybe…"
"Please don't think that way, Miss Dagger," Vivi said, almost pleading. He placed a red-gloved hand over the young queen's hand, and looked up at her with glowing eyes. "Zidane wouldn't want you to think that way. We know how strong he is, and he knows that we know. We just have to believe."
"Vivi…" Garnet said. She looked down at him, marveling at the unshaken faith of the young nine-year old mage. She knew that Vivi and Zidane shared a bond. In a way, they were blood brothers, bound by their past and origin. Both were constructs. And where one lived in the exuberance of life, the other lacked of it. Zidane taught Vivi what it was like to be alive, surpassing and breaking through the limitations of the black mage's sense of existence. In a sense, Zidane taught Vivi how to live.
The child mage shifted his gaze to the encompassing dark world lying peacefully before them. His eyes glowed dull for a moment and he took a deep breath. "Before I met Zidane, I only existed but I was not alive. Even then, I do not know anything, not even knowing how or where I was born. Miss Dagger, I was without history, and so I came to Alexandria to seek my fate.
"During that time, I was afraid. Because I felt as if I'm alone in this world. And I was. Most people see me, and they either look at me with fear or anger. I could never understand then why they did that. Why humans immediately jump to conclusions and assumptions. All I ever wanted was an answer to my questions. About who I am. What I am.
"And then I met Zidane. And he showed me the path to finding the answers to my questions. He taught me not so much as what it is to live more so than how it is to live. He taught me that existence is more than just breathing and sentience. I know that I am alive. That I exist. He erased the doubts I had in myself. He gave my existence meaning. Most of all, he cared for me, and treated me as if I'm a normal human being. That is why I believe in him, and in whatever he says. Because I know that he cares for us enough not to make us worry."
For the first time since they met, Garnet wondered if she was really talking to a nine-year old child. Under the light of the full moon, it seemed that Vivi had grown up. The way the diminutive mage stood, the way he cocked his head to one side when he talked to her, the way he childishly placed his hands at his side in a genuine expression of interest-all these seemed to dissolve in front of her eyes right at that moment and was replaced by someone who has learned the basic facts of life. And she took a step forward and then embraced the small mage. The tears she held at bay came pouring down.
"Vivi, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted Zidane," Garnet spoke. "The pain that I felt when we parted was so great that I can't even mention his name without feeling grief. But…thank you…for opening my eyes. I do believe in him. Like I believe in all of you…thank you…"
"It's okay, Miss Dagger," Vivi said, hugging her back. "I am just trying to make you feel better. For Zidane. Can we go back to the others now? Dinner is still unfinished."
Garnet smiled as she let go of the young black mage. She wiped away her tears with the wrist and the back of her right hand. "You are right. The others are waiting."
She offered her hand which Vivi accepted and together, they started walking towards the staircase which led to the inner sanctum of the castle. It was then that Garnet felt a tug as she sensed Vivi stop. She turned around and saw the young mage hunched over as if suddenly tired.
"Vivi? Are you alright?"
The black mage looked up at the young queen. His right hand was on his knees, and he was breathing rather heavily, as if he had run a hundred miles. Looking at Garnet, his eyes seemed to have lost a bit of its glow. "Y-yes, Miss Dagger. I'm okay. Please, just don't worry yourself about me. You just continue on. I will…just…catch my breath." He tried to give on an impression of a reassuring smile.
"Are you sure?" Garnet frowned. "Maybe we should have Doctor Tot look at you? You just wait here and catch your breath. I will have him up."
"P-please…don't bother, M-miss Dagger," Vivi said as he tried to straighten himself up. "S-see? I am fine. I'm just…tired, I guess…let's continue…walking."
Vivi started walking. He hadn't taken on more than five steps when suddenly, he fell down on the cold marble floor and collapsed.
Of?
Stopping. I will stop someday, won't I?
We all do, Vivi. Every living being stops, sooner or later. It's just a matter of when.
I am…alive?
Of course. You doubt your existence?
…
Is this because of what we saw in Dali? Those mages don't exist, Vivi. But we do.
How do you know you exist? Maybe we don't exist. That's why I'm afraid of stopping. Because I don't know if I ever existed in the first place.
Vivi, come with me.
Where?
I want to show you something.
What is it…?
Look.
Vivi opened his eyes.
"Master Vivi! You're awake!" Steiner exclaimed. He turned around and shouted. "Everyone, he's awake! Master Vivi's awake!"
There was a rush of sounds as the door finally opened. In came Garnet, followed by Eiko and Freya, and Quina came in last. When they saw Vivi looking at them, they immediately let out a very relieved sigh. Eiko wiped away her tears with her hands. Garnet, close to tears, ran and knelt beside his bed and clasped his gloved hands. "Vivi! You had us so worried!"
"W-where am I?" Vivi asked.
"The Black Mage Village," Steiner replied. He smiled. "How are you feeling, Master Vivi?"
"I-…fine. I'm okay. How long have I been asleep?"
"Two days," Freya said. "We thought you stopped."
"Don't ever say that!" Eiko cried. "Vivi can't stop! Vivi won't stop. You won't, will you?"
Vivi gave the young summoner a reassuring look. "Don't worry, Miss Eiko. I am fine. And please don't cry."
"What happened, Vivi?" Garnet asked. "Why did you collapse just like that?"
"I really don't know, Miss Dagger," Vivi replied, lowering his head. "I just felt so tired suddenly…and I don't remember anything after that…I am so very sorry to have worried you all like that."
"We had Doctor Tot check up on you when you collapsed," Steiner said. "But he couldn't find anything wrong. So we just brought you here. We thought that the other mages would know what to do. I think it was the right decision."
"We kept coming here everyday," Eiko said. "To check up on you."
"I am sorry to have been such a bother," Vivi said softly.
"Oh no, you haven't, Master Vivi," Steiner said. "What are friends for, if not to look our for each other?"
The door suddenly opened and in came another black mage. He was stout and taller than Vivi. "Can I talk to Vivi alone for a while, please?"
They looked at each other for a few moments, before finally filing out of the room. When they were outside, the black mage closed the door behind him.
After what seemed like ten minutes, the door opened again and the black mage stepped out. "He would like to talk to each one of you."
They started to step in all together when the mage stopped them. "No. One by one. That is his request"
Perplexity and confusion were plastered on their faces as they looked at each other. Steiner shrugged and he stepped in first, closing the door behind him.
"Master Vivi?"
"Mister Steiner, I…would just like to say how I have valued your companionship all these times," Vivi said. "We make a good team, don't we?"
"Yes we do, Master Vivi," Steiner said. He walked and knelt beside the black mage's bed and held his hand.
"Have I been helpful, Mister Steiner?" Vivi asked. "Had my magic been useful when we were fighting Kuja?"
For some reason, Steiner felt tears welling up in his eyes. A lump was forming on his throat and it took all he had to reply. "You have been an invaluable comrade, Master Vivi. And you will still be a great comrade. When you're fit enough to get up, we'll go do some hunting again, okay? And then you can cast Blizzaga again on my Excalibur. And we'll be unbeatable together! We'll do that, okay?"
Vivi's eyes seemed to smile at what the knight said. "I would like that, Mister Steiner…"
"I will come back tomorrow, is that alright, Master Vivi?" Steiner asked. "I will come back and visit you again. Tomorrow morning."
The black mage nodded. "If that…is your wish, Mister Steiner…"
Steiner got up and gripped the young mage's hand reassuringly before finally letting go and walked out of the room. Freya came in next.
"Miss Freya…" Vivi said.
"Are you feeling alright, Vivi?" Freya asked. She walked and sat on the side of the black mage's bed. "Lord Steiner seemed somber when he came out."
"I am alright, Miss Freya," Vivi said. "I would just like to say that…I think Sir Fratley loves you even though he has forgotten the past."
Confusion was evident on the rat-faced warrior's expression. "I know, Vivi."
"He may remember again, Miss Freya," Vivi said. "But please don't wait for that. Make a new memory. You and Sir Fratley had been given a new start. You haven't lost anything. And you have found what you were looking for."
At hearing the words, Freya smiled and hugged the black mage. "I will see you again tomorrow, Vivi."
"Tomorrow…" Vivi repeated. Freya let go and went outside.
The next one who came in was Quina. For a long moment, no one said anything. Quina just stood there, looking at the young mage, its tongue hanging out from its mouth. Vivi, for his part, just observed the creature standing before him, and once again, he remarked at how much Quina seemed to be detached from everything, caring only for food and gourmet. And yet, Quina had proved invaluable in their fight for the future of Gaia.
Vivi stretched out his hand, and Quina walked closer to him. It tilted its head on one side, looking innocently child-like as the Qu's Marsh resident only can. "Where you go, Vivi?"
"Away," Vivi replied softly.
"There be good food in away?" Quina asked.
"Maybe," Vivi said. "Be good, Quina. Always give happiness with your cooking."
"I be good. I cook great food for everyone," Quina said, nodding its head vigorously. "Everyone happy with good food."
"I know," Vivi's eyes smiled a pale glow. "Goodbye, Quina."
And Quina gave him a big slurp with its tongue and went out. Before the door could even close, Eiko already stepped in.
"Vivi, what's all this about?" Eiko asked.
"Do you still want me as a brother?" Vivi asked.
"Of course!" Eiko replied. She walked and climbed on the black mage's bed.
"I won't be able to call you Miss Eiko anymore," Vivi said.
"That's okay," Eiko said, obviously not getting the hidden meaning of what Vivi said. "We're gonna be brother and sister, anyway."
"Eiko…" it felt strange calling her that. He had been so accustomed to showing the utmost respect and courtesy to evryone, even to an obviously younger kid like Eiko. The only one he was comfortable calling with just his name was Zidane. "Eiko…whatever happens, you won't be alone anymore." And with that, Vivi held the child close and embraced her tight.
"Vivi, you're scaring me," Eiko said, hugging her back.
"I thought you said that you won't be afraid anymore if I'm your brother?" Vivi asked.
"Freya was wrong, right?" Eiko asked. "You are not stopping, right? Not for a long time? Not ever?"
"I will live," Vivi said.
"You better," Eiko said. "I will come back together with Uncle Ci--"
"Father," Vivi corrected.
"Father," Eiko said. "And we will tell them our secret."
"A secret," Vivi said. "Just for the two of us."
Eiko nodded softly and smiled before stepping down.
"Goodbye, little sister," Vivi said, his voice cracking a bit.
"Until tomorrow, big brother," Eiko grinned. She opened the door and stepped out.
The last person who came in was Garnet.
"Miss Dagger," Vivi said.
"How are you feeling now, Vivi?" Garnet asked.
"Sleepy…" Vivi replied.
"Then you should take a rest now," Garnet said. She walked over to the bed and carefully tucked the young mage under the quilt. "We will come back when you're all better."
"Miss Dagger?" Vivi asked. "Can I ask for a request?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Before you leave, could you place a quill and a paper on the table beside my window?"
Garnet looked at the young mage, confusion on her pretty face at the odd request.
"Please?" Vivi pleaded.
"I will," Garnet finally said.
"Thank you," Vivi said gratefully. "Can I ask for another? One last time?"
"Yes. And that is…?"
"If it's not much of a bother, could you sing me to sleep with that melody you always sung…?"
Garnet smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. And she sang that sweet, haunting melody. For a moment, she thought she could hear Zidane's voice in her thoughts. The song wafted softly in the air.
And Vivi slept.
It was late evening when he opened his eyes again. And true to her word, he saw the quill and the piece of paper that Garnet left on the desk, illuminated by the light of the twin moons of Gaia. The window's bars cast criss-crossed shadows on the whole room, and Vivi saw that it was a beautiful evening outside.
Slowly, he climbed out of the bed, staggering a little. He fought to keep his balance and walked towards the little table just beside the hut's window. He knew what he had to do now. And he also knew that he only had precious little time to do it. He wanted to say goodbye to Zidane. It was just unfortunate that he can't see his face one last time. But he remembered what Zidane said to him a long time ago. And he took comfort in that fact.
Sitting on the chair, he dipped the quill on the ink bottle beside him and placed the tip of the quill on the dry parchment, feeling for a moment the rough edge of the paper. And he started writing.
I have always talked about you, Zidane…
He felt his strength fading as he walked out of the room. Breath coming in ragged, he leaned on the window frame to regain strength before looking out. The whole village was quiet. No doubt everyone now was asleep, late in the night as it was. He turned the corner towards the direction of the black mage's graveyard.
As he expected, the night was clear and cloudless, with the two full moons again bathing the whole place with an ethereal bluish light. The night sky was tinted darkest blue and dotted limitless with bright, twinkling stars. Vivi felt the cold air against his face and he shivered. But he walked on.
The melody of Garnet's song still echoed in his ears, etched in his heart. Zidane once mentioned that the song reminded him of life. Of living. That as long as he carried that song in his heart, he would always find the way home no matter how far. Vivi was carrying that song now, the wind seemed to be singing its melody. He ambled on, not wanting to give up. Not until he could finally be there. Not until he could finally arrive at his final resting place. That's when he saw it. The graveyard of the village. And the place was lighted with so many fireflies.
Wow…!
Beautiful, aren't they?
What are they?
Fireflies.
Fireflies?
Yes, fireflies.
They're so…dream-like.
Vivi, do you think they know that they exist?
I-…yes…I suppose. Something so beautiful had to know they exist.
But do you know that they die young?
They do???
Yes. They are born, and then they flicker for a time, serving as stars for Gaia, and then they die a few days later.
But why?
He fell down on his knees as he tripped on a tree branch, ripping his green and white striped pants a little. There was a bit of pain, but he never minded it. He was so close now, and he stood up and, as a force of habit, wiped his knees. Then, staggering, he continued walking.
Who knows? But they probably know that they are gonna die soon, and yet, they still continue flying around bringing light to the world.
What are you saying, then?
I'm saying that it's not important whether we will die someday, or not. It's not death that we should be afraid of.
Then what…?
It's whether we have actually lived. Everything in the world that lives has a purpose, no matter how short their existence.
Like the fireflies.
Yes, like the fireflies.
How do we know we have lived, then?
Finally, he arrived at the foot of the three steps that led to the burial mounds themselves. He looked up at the various articles of clothing and accessories of the past mages who were currently buried in this place right now. And, mustering all the strength that he could, he climbed the steps, and into the midst of the glowing, green lights.
At last, having used up all his strength but having arrived at his destination, Vivi fell down on both hands and knees. The golden glow that was his eyes had dimmed, and his body visibly heaved at the labored breaths he took. But still, he managed to look up, and watched the soft lights floating all around him, enveloping him and the place with a soft greenish hue. In the midst of the fireflies, he felt happiness. And in his heart, he asked them.
Do you know…?
Can you tell me…?
Why do you die so young…?
A firefly hovered just in front of him and he slowly raised his finger as he did two days ago.
I will always remember you. Because you gave me happiness even at the last stages of my life.
And that was when he finally understood what Zidane said to him in answer to his question that night the same as this a long time ago. He never understood it, until now.
How do we know we have lived, then?
Vivi, when somebody remembers you even when you stop, that is when you have lived. Because death will never be the end of everything.
It won't?
The memories that you leave to those who are still living. Those are what makes you alive. When they remember the good things that you did, and how you made them happy, then you know that you have lived.
Zidane. Sometimes you speak in riddles.
Hahaha. I do? I thought I made sense.
Maybe I'll understand them.
Someday.
I see, Vivi thought. Now I understand why this graveyard must be built. Our lives are so short but we tried to give meaning out of our existence…
Like the fireflies…
It's not whether the fireflies die so young…it's whether they have caused happiness while they're still alive.
So I can remember them…
Vivi fell down, and this time, he never bothered to get up. He felt the last spark of life in him slowly start to seep away. For a moment, he remarked how he did not feel any pain. For a long time, he thought that he would. Instead, all he felt was a numbing calm.
I understand now, Zidane…the fireflies made me understand. Just as you said.
The slowly dimming eyes of the construct throbbed and dimmed. What was once a golden yellow started to dull, and then tried to shine back but with lesser intensity each time. Until it came to a point in which it never shone anymore.
You remember me. And so do the others. I am glad.
I'm alive.
And my memories will be part of the sky.
And in that place in the graveyard, surrounded by so many glowing fireflies, the nine-year old mage stopped.
---fin---