...I have no excuse. This is what happens when you mix old cartoons, nostalgia, and modern movies. Though, surprisingly enough, this didn't turn out quite as crackish as I thought it would. Who knew.
Disclaimer: I don't own either Avengers or American Dragon: Jake Long, though I do wish they'd remake the American Dragon series. That was fun.
Edit 5-12-16: changed some phrasing and word choice, added a short line, generally smoothed things a bit. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited! You guys are awesome!
Jake tucked in his wings and dove, narrowly avoiding a blast from the alien hot on his tail. Whipping around the corner of a skyscraper, he turned on a wingtip and blew fire straight into the face of another one before it could even raise its weapon. It screeched in pain, losing control over whatever flying jet ski it was on and crashing into Jake's pursuer. Shards of metal flew in all directions as they fell to the streets below, trailing a spiral corkscrew of smoke.
There was no time to rest on his laurels, however, as another squad of alien invaders zeroed in on him. Jake cursed, darting through the upper level of a nearby parking garage to lose them. For all that they had strength in numbers, the aliens had all the agility of drunken centaurs. And they were stupid, too. Leading them into traps was all too easy, especially since Jake knew every nook and cranny in the city.
Sure enough, more explosions sounded from behind him as car alarms wailed in protest. On instinct he jerked left as a piece of machinery, mangled and twisted beyond all repair, whirled past and shattered the window of some poor sedan.
The move nearly cost him in the tight confines of the parking garage, forcing Jake to swerve again and almost fly straight into one of the signs hanging from the ceiling. He had to shed quite a bit of speed, lacking the space to properly beat his wings. As it was, he barely made it out to the other side of the building without scraping off a few scales.
Jake glanced up at the portal tearing a hole into reality, shimmering blue while aliens swarmed from it droves. He angled his body upwards and flew faster, aiming for the beam of light that kept it open. Maybe, if he could figure out what was making it and destroy that, he could stop this invasion before it got any worse.
Several hundred feet below, chaos reigned as terrified civilians scurried into any available shelter they could find. Jake almost faltered, the urge to help them overwhelming. Those were his people down there, his city, and they were screaming why wasn't he protecting them like he was supposed to-
Purple-pink scales flashed in the sunlight, zigzagging back and forth as Haley covered the civilians' retreat. She was small but quick, fire coming in short bursts of orange-red and pulsing heat. An alien that tried to slip past her was met with claws and teeth to the face, digging into every chink in its armor she could find. Her tail simultaneously wrapped around the legs of another alien and yanked it off its feet, tossing it away.
A block or so ahead, Jake saw the serpentine form of his grandfather twist away from some sort of energy spear, movements lithe and graceful. Lao Shi dispatched a group of aliens with brutal efficiency, barring the entrance to a subway tunnel as teachers hurried to escort a group of students down into the makeshift shelters. He looked fierce and strong, fangs bared in an angry snarl that Jake found a little scary. It had been a long time since he'd seen Lao Shi truly fight, and he'd forgotten what a force the old dragon was when he really cut loose.
Even Fu had made his way into battle, jaws snapping at any exposed flesh he could reach and getting underfoot enough so that they tripped over him and fell into each other. Protective runes and charms worked into his collar glowed bright white, shots barely missing him and aliens stumbling into convenient potholes just a little too often to be natural.
All secrecy had been thrown out the window when aliens invaded. They were an hour into the battle and it was clear that humans alone were laughably outgunned. The magical community needed to defend themselves, needed to help the non-magicals, or they would all be crushed. Even the Huntsclan were their temporary allies for this fight, however grudgingly.
Clustered across the roofs of several side-by-side hotels, a flock of harpies tore into one of the giant flying whale-monster things. Farther out there were griffins dive bombing another, screeching war cries as their talons ripped into its vulnerable eyes. Jake saw the spider-woman from the bazaar scuttle across the side of an office building as she strung webbing across the street, catching more aliens that the other flying creatures had missed. A herd of centaurs galloped by, trampling foot soldiers underhoof.
All around the city, the magical community was rallying. All around the city, they rose up to fight and defend their home.
Jake couldn't have been more proud.
A bolt of energy sizzled past his head, so close he felt the heat of it across his scales- which was far too close for comfort.
Focus, Jake! he scolded himself. Preen later. Fight aliens now!
Twisting back, he soared up and over a power line before descending on one of the flying jet skis in a whirlwind of claws and flame. One of the trio went spiraling away, crashing through an office building. Another managed to squeeze off a couple shots before Jake turned him into ash. The last-
"What the- arrows?"
And not the more traditional wooden ones that most magicals favored, either. Certain types of wood held charms and such that could further damage the target more easily than metal or carbon fiber did. Which meant that whoever was sniping aliens from above wasn't a magical. Which meant… a human?
What sort of human still used a bow and arrows in this day and age?
Another flurry of them slammed home, taking out a squadron that had been racing to attack Jake. This time, he traced the path of the arrows back to their source, which turned out to be a serious-looking man in some sort of light body armor (military, perhaps) crouched on the roof of an office building.
The moment the archer realized that Jake was heading in his direction, the man rose to his feet and aimed another arrow at the dragon. Jake stopped mid-flight, hovering in place with his claws up to show that he meant no harm.
"I don't know if you can understand me," the man rasped, "but we're on the same side. So if you try to roast me like you did those aliens, I'm going to put an arrow through your eye."
"Right, got it. No roasting," Jake blurted out, slightly startled by the sheer amount of threat that the guy had in his tone. For a moment, he hadn't felt as if he was facing down a human at all. More like another dragon, if anything.
The guy blinked once. Lowered his bow, though he kept it drawn with the arrow still notched into place. "...You can talk?"
...Whoops.
"Um, yeah." Jake descended a few feet, angling for the rooftop. He'd been fighting nonstop since the invasion had started, with at least twice the intensity he was used to, so the idea of giving his wings a break sounded like heaven. Besides, it didn't look as if the archer would take it too well if he just flew off without any sort of explanations. "Wait, you're not gonna shoot me if I land, right? 'Cause I've been flying for ages and I'd like to stand a bit."
"Nah, go ahead." The guy stepped back a bit to give him some room, which Jake took with no little amount of relief. His landing was a tad rougher than usual, but being able to relax his wings at last was amazing.
"Thanks," Jake said, a resisted the urge to sit down because he knew that if he did, he'd never want to get back up again. "So, what's your name? I don't think I've ever seen you around here before, and you seem like someone I'd remember."
"Hawkeye. And you are…?" He looked at Jake through narrowed eyes, posture still wary.
"Jake." No need to give Hawkeye any more information than that until Jake knew more about him. Never one to mince words, Jake got right to the point and jerked his head towards the portal that was still spewing aliens. "You got any idea what's causing that?"
Hawkeye frowned. "Yeah. Guy named Loki. He's an alien, too, but apparently he's also some god from Norse mythology. He's using some sort of magical cube-thing to power machine that's opening the portal, but we haven't figured out how to shut it down yet."
Jake swallowed. Hard. "Loki? As in, God of Mischief? The Liesmith? The Silvertongue? Oh, no. That's bad."
Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "You know him?"
"Not specifically, but the old deities of myth… well, they were among the most powerful magical beings to ever exist," Jake explained. "Most of them are gone now, but a few of the really strong ones still stick around. We generally try not to mess with them."
"And where does Loki figure?" Hawkeye asked. "He one of the really strong ones?"
Jake hesitated. "I don't remember exactly, but in terms of sheer power I think he's kind of around the middle," he replied. "Not really the type for mass destruction, but the trouble is he's smart. I mean, there isn't too much on him, since he hasn't been seen in a pretty long time, but… well, yeah. My grandpa would probably know more. I swear he knows, like, everything."
"Think he'll know how to shut that thing down, then?" Hawkeye narrowed his eyes at the portal, while bringing up his bow and shooting down another alien (in the opposite direction, without even looking who even was this human).
Jake shifted on his feet, feeling as if he had to get back in the air and fight. The battle hadn't paused with him, and every second counted as long as aliens were still invading. Standing, even if only for a few short minutes, made him slightly guilty and yet relieved for the rest break at the same time. He wasn't sure he liked that feeling.
"He needs to at least know what's making it first. That's what I'm supposed to go and figure out, and destroy it if I can," Jake told Hawkeye. "And, uh. Not to be rude, but I should probably go do that. 'Cause, y'know. Aliens invading."
Hawkeye gave a curt nod, already reaching into his quiver for another arrow. "Right. Hey, you should know- I'm not the only one fighting out here. You see others, just know that we're on the same side."
Jake paused, wings half-unfurled. "How many? I know Iron Man and Captain America," and hadn't that been a shock, "but which other humans?"
"The Hulk, that giant green one that was a few blocks east of here last I checked-"
"Wait, that guy was human?"
"It's a long story. There's also Thor, big blond flying guy with a hammer and a red cape. Loki's brother. And Black Widow. Redhead, Russian, black catsuit."
"There's another god here? Figures. Okay, then. Duly noted," Jake said, and leapt back into the sky. He wished he hadn't had to cut the meeting short, but, well… aliens.
Maybe, after everything was over, he could track Hawkeye down again and have an actual conversation. Hawkeye was definitely one of the strangest humans that Jake had ever met, and Jake was still very curious about him.
The moment that Iron Man fell out of the portal back-first and without slowing down, Jake knew that he wasn't going to stop. Jake had fallen out of the sky himself enough to recognize the signs- limp body, method of flight unresponsive, and, worst of all, upside-down, which would lead to a much greater chance of shattering the spine.
Behind him, he heard Black Widow shout into her communicator. Whatever she said was lost in the rush of wind and blood pounding in his ears as Jake took a running leap off the edge of Stark Tower, wings pumping as fast as they could carry him.
Iron Man was a streak of red and gold as he fell, blinding even with the armor as banged up and dirty has it surely was after the battle. Jake barely managed to snatch him out of the air before gravity dragged them both down, forcing Jake to turn their crash-and-burn descent into more of a semi-controlled glide. Jake tried to cushion Iron Man as best he could as they both hit asphalt and rolled, Jake wincing when rubble and road rash tore into his scales. Momentum ran out after a few yards to leave Jake sprawled out in the middle of an intersection, Iron Man still clutched to his chest in a protective grip.
"Dude, that thing is heavy," Jake groaned as he pried his claws out of metallic joints. "How in the world can you fly with that much weight?"
Iron Man, eye-slits dark, did not respond.
Jake frowned, tapping the faceplate. That was… somewhat concerning. "Dude, you okay in there? C'mon, I did not just rescue you from turning into an Iron Man pancake just for you to die on me. Say something, man!"
Behind him, Jake heard pounding feet running up behind him. Jake whirled to face them, lips peeling back into a snarl as his wings spread. If anyone thought that they could ambush him while he was distracted, then they had another thing coming.
Except-
"Whoa! Easy, easy. We're not gonna hurt you," Captain America exclaimed, eyes wide and hands up in a placating gesture. "Hawkeye said your name is Jake, right? Hi. I'm Steve. Is Tony okay?"
Jake stared. He couldn't help it. Knowing intellectually that Captain America was alive and fighting was one thing; seeing the man with his own eyes right in front of him was quite another. Besides, this was Captain freaking America. The most famous American superhero, like, ever. Jake used to have all the guy's trading cards and watched all the cartoons when he was a kid.
"Um." Smooth, Jake. Real smooth. "He's not saying anything. I feel like that's bad."
"He's not answering his comm, either." Captain America moved to kneel beside Iron Man, a huge blond who could only have been Thor following behind.
Thor reached down and ripped Iron Man's faceplate right off in a casual feat of strength, revealing Tony Stark's face with eyes closed and features slack. Captain America tried to check for a heartbeat, but shook his head when he couldn't hear anything through the armor.
Jake felt cold, somehow. No. Iron Man couldn't be dead. He'd just saved everyone! Besides, he was Tony Stark. He could survive practically anything. Right?
A crunch of broken glass. A massive thud as the Hulk landed a few yards away, feet leaving craters in the pavement. Jake resisted the urge to shrink back as the giant green behemoth approached, but stubbornly stood his ground.
The Hulk growled at him. Jake, instincts flaring, growled back.
The Hulk snorted and turned away, apparently not considering him a threat. Jake would have been insulted if he wasn't more relieved that he wasn't going to have to fight that thing. Draconian powers aside, Hulk looked strong enough to crush him like a bug.
Peering down at Iron Man, the Hulk's nostrils flared once before he opened his mouth and let out one of the loudest roars that Jake had ever heard. It rivaled that of the Dark Dragon, of an actual sea serpent that he'd had to fight once, and was so fierce that Thor's hair was blown back and intact windows rattled in their panes.
Iron Man jerked awake as the roar hit him full in the face, gasping. Jake nearly jumped out of his skin, blindsided by both Hulk's roar and Iron Man's revival.
The moment Iron Man caught sight of Jake looking down at him, though, his heartbeat spiked loud enough for Jake to hear as he let out a little yelp and tried to jerk away. Unfortunately, he was still wearing the armor, and didn't succeed in moving more than a couple inches.
"Holy shit there's a dragon!" he breathed. "Where did the dragon come from? You Hawkeye's new friend? Please don't eat me. I'll buy you all the shawarma you want if you don't eat me."
Jake blinked, nonplussed. "...Shawarma?"
"Oh wow. You really can talk." Iron Man raised an eyebrow at him. "You want shawarma? I'll buy shawarma for everyone. Shawarma on me, guys." He raised his voice to address the other people who had made their way over, forming a loose circle around him. One arm raised in a slightly pathetic attempt to gesture before it flopped back down, Iron Man apparently giving up on all movement.
It took several seconds for Jake to find his voice. "Sure, I could eat pretty much anything right now." He remembered that Haley and Lao Shi had been fighting for nearly as long as he had, and added, "Hey, do you mind if I bring some family along?"
"There are more of you? Of course there are. Sure, whatever. Bring whoever you want," Iron Man said. "Shawarma with dragons. May as well, 'cause I really don't think this day could get any weirder."
Between them, Jake, Haley, and their grandfather managed to devour enough food (shawarma included) to clean out half the restaurant's kitchen. When combined with the rest of the Avengers, as the group was apparently called, every scrap of edible substance was cooked up and eaten in short order.
"Oh man, that was good," Jake sighed as he sat back. "Haley, you think I could learn to cook that? I bet Mom and Dad would love it."
Their parents had declined the invitation to eat with them, instead choosing to go help out some of their neighbors. Fu was out running damage control with the magical community, while the three dragons had been given a temporary break from their responsibilities to recover.
Haley snorted. "Maybe, but try not to burn down your apartment this time. There are still smoke stains on the ceiling from last week."
"I did not burn the apartment down!" Jake squawked indignantly. "It was just a minor miscalculation. Minor!"
Steve (he said that he was only Captain America when he was on duty, which wasn't now) looked confused. "'Minor miscalculation'?" he echoed.
"You have an apartment?" Tony ("Iron Man takes too long to say, and Mr. Stark was my father") asked. "Wait, how does that work? Do you pay your rent with gold or something?"
"Jake tried to make a pie bake faster by breathing fire on it," Haley informed the group with unholy glee. "Except he used too much fire and made the oven explode. The whole building had to evacuate 'cause the smoke alarms got set off."
"It was an accident!" Jake protested. Turning to address Tony, he replied, "And yes, I do have an apartment. No, I don't pay the rent with gold. That's stupid. Also, did you seriously think I looked like this all the time? Read up on your mythology. Dragons are shapeshifters."
Tony stared. "...That would explain the New York accent."
"Big Apple native, born and bred," Jake boasted. "I've been flying around this city for years before you ever came up with your fancy metal suit."
"Then how come people didn't know about you before?" the Hulk questioned, who was apparently a rather soft-spoken man named Bruce with salt-and-pepper hair and a surprisingly zen personality for someone who turned into a giant green rage monster.
("It's a long story," he'd said with a small, self-deprecating twist of his lips when Jake had given in to curiosity and asked him about it. "Let's just say that you shouldn't mess with gamma radiation and leave it at that.")
"Oh, easy. Magic," Jake explained. "And memory-altering potions. Those help too."
Lao Shi nodded. "And much of the time, people tend to see only what they want to see."
Hawkeye, reclining in his seat, let out a whistle of admiration. "Damn."
Tony looked like he wanted to ask another question, except that before he could, his eyes widened as he pointed dramatically at something behind Jake and cried, "Holy shit it's Tinkerbell!"
"Hey- whoa! Humans!"
Jake whipped around at the high-pitched squeak, coming face to face with an unexpected visitor. The fairy stared at the shocked humans, who all stared right back at her, with no little expression of fear.
Jake got up, discretely moving to block them from view as he stood in front of her. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what she was going to ask, and inwardly mourned the loss of his recovery time. He'd just helped fight off an alien invasion, for goodness' sake! Couldn't he have a day off?
"Yeah?" he asked, keeping his tone gentle. "What's the problem?"
"Um." The fairy wrung her hands, still scared. Taking a deep breath, she seemed to calm down a bit, then said all in a rush, "There are a lot of magicals trapped underground by the rubble, and half of Central Park is on fire, and humans are freaking out which is making us freak out and we don't know what to do we've been looking for you for ages can you please help us?"
Jake took a second to process that. Then he sighed, cracked his neck a bit, and told her, "Lead the way." Turning back to the Avengers, he added, "You guys should stay here. It's a dragon thing. Haley, Grandpa? You guys mind helping out?"
After confirming their nods of assent, Jake looked back at the fairy and followed her out into the city.
He could rest later. Right now, his people needed him.