Where Babies Come From
Somehow this came up while I was playing MK8. Uhh…this might be a wee bit dark.
Start
Toadworth sighed as he looked at the cold, pale skin of Princess Peach. She looked peaceful as she lay on the operating table. The dignitary turned to the Koopa Scientist who was reading data from a clip board.
"What got her this time?"
"Some idiot switched out a Mushroom for a Poison one when making her dinner. Luckily no one ate what she had so there's no clean up involved." The Scientist replied frowning. "Seventh time this month too. The genetic samples are starting to degrade as well."
"Is there any way to fix that?" Toadworth questioned.
"We've been supplementing any gaps with Life Shrooms." Toadworth nodded. Life Shrooms were easier to obtain than the vaunted One-Up Shroom as they called it, and have been known to resurrect those carrying them. Their special properties made this all the easier. "Sir? There has been concern about the up-coming Mario Gran Prix."
Toadworth grumbled out an annoyance, "Not another one of those blasted things. Those things are just as dangerous as any other event held in this kingdom." He let out another sigh. "What is the concern, Killigan?"
Killigan Koopa adjusted his glasses. "The roster is short by five. We need to fill it out soon."
"We'll do what we do every time the Gran Prix comes around," Toadsworth ordered. "We have a fifth new human too…Rosalina. Create five baby racers, give them basic knowledge about themselves, and tier two capabilities."
"Rosalina is relatively new; wouldn't people notice a baby version of her running around?" Killigan questioned nervously.
"The masses are idiotic," Toadworth replied coldly. "Just this year, Mario has died forty times; Luigi has died seventy times…" He took off his glasses to wipe them clean. "Daisy has died twenty-two times this year alone, and this is Peach number fifty-five. The Mushroom kingdom is a fantastically dangerous place and as long as the masses stay safe within their villages and homes, they won't know a thing."
"That…seems…"
"Dark?" Toadworth chuckled humorlessly. "It's the truth. Princess Peach is just a figure head at this point. I've been signing off on the important details for a while now. All she wants to do is have parties and eat cake. What kind of ruler would she be if she actually got serious? A damn horrible one."
"I see…"
"Prepare the next Peach and the five babies as instructed. Standard procedure for Peach," Toadworth said turning to leave.
"What should I do with…" Killigan motioned to the dead Peach on the table.
"Burn it like the rest." Toadworth left the hidden lab with a sigh. He was getting too old for this.
End