Spring Nicht
«Take it!»
To late... The football went over Mira's head and hit the wall.
«idiot!» Morten screamed and ran past her to take the ball again. Mira rolled her eyes and shock her head. Why would she care about the ball? Did it have any importanse for her life which end the ball went into?
No... The only thing mather for her, was Bill! For those who where into Tokio Hotel, this must sound tragic. But for here, this was reality. One day didn't past, one hour or minute without her thinking about him, Bill Kaulitz. She could hear his voice 24/7, either in form of Tokio Hotel's music or inside her own head, where he talked to her, told her how much he cared and how much he loved her. She wasn't just obsesst about him, she was in love with him. She loved him.
Especially during gym she where in her own world. Gym was a subject that didn't have here attention at all. Therefor she dreamt herself to him, or rather him to her. Suddenly he came through the sports centre, smiled and waved and since Mira's team was one short, he got into the game and played with them. Of course they won by far. (In her fantasy, yeas, she knew naturally not who really won) After gym, they walked hand in hand up to her school, where people gazed and whispered «Who is that? Isn't that him from Tokio Hotel?» It didn't mather for her. She loved Bill, and people could hate him for hers sake.
Yes, this was how her days went by. She dreamed about Bill and talked about him to everyone she knew. All her friends knew she was obsessed by Tokio Hotel. Not everyone knew that she was in love with Bill. And no one knew that she really loved him. She wouldn't say it to anyone. That was her secret.
7. April 2008. Tokio Hotel played in Oslo Spektrum. Mira where of course standing on first row. She had been sleeping outside for three days and nights, still she was smiling. She felt great. The concert was incredible, much better than she had expected. And soon, her favorite song started.
«The next song is Spring Nicht» introduced
Bill on german through the screaming from wild fan-girls. The chords
flowed from Tom's guitar and Bill started to sing. «Über den
Dachern es ist so kalt und so still…» She couldn't hold her
tears back. And right before the last chorus it happend; Bill looked
down at her and almost gave her his hand.
«Nimm meine hand, wir
fangen nochmal an …» their hans touched for a short second.
«Spring Nicht!» He turned away and jumped to the topp of the stage
again. The moment was over.
Home again. She felt so empty. She had seen him, heard him sing, and he had even touched her. «The closest I will ever be to him» she thought. With shaking hands she took the penknife who where laying on her night table....
-------------------------
They found her two hours later. In front of here a poloraid camera where standing on a small rack. It was turned on. Only one picture, a picture of Mira, lifeless, with a bloody arm and two letters in front. The scene on the bed had not changed since the picture was taken, thought Mira's mother, perhaps apart from the blood on her arm, it had coagulated. Now, you could see the four letters, cutted into her wrist: B-I-L-L. She had sliced both of her arterys afterwards. The white sheets where soaked with blood. While her mother was frozen, looking down at her dead daughter, her father took up the letters, laying beside Mira. On one of them where «Mum and Dad» written, on the other «Bill Kaulitz» followed by a german adress. A stamp where allready glued on. He opend the first letter and Mira's mum where reading over his shoulder.
Dear Mum and Dad.
I'm so sorry. I know that you didn't want it to end like this. But I was so stupid. I became so devoured in a dream that never would come true. I can't live like this anymore. I only hope that you one day will forgive me and understand. You are better off without me, and I am at a better place.
Please, put the picture on internett at my forum. I don't want anyone else end up like me.
I also want you to post this letter that I wrote to Bill. I know that its not sure that he will ever read it, but I want to try.
Thank you so much for taking care of me and loving me for seventeen beautifull years. You will allways be the best parents in the world.
Your Mira, who lives forever in your hearts.
«We have to post it» Mira's mum said tearfully. «We just have to do this. Her last wish...» «We wont post it» her dad answerd. «We will go to germany. When our little gril have done something this faltal over this boy, we must be sure that he get it»
-------------------------
Three days later came Mira's parents to Hamburg. The last days where used to call everyone who had something to do with Tokio Hotel, without luck. The management said that the couldn't do anything to arrange a meeting, and the guys where impossible to get. They simply had to meet up at their hotel and hope that they could deliver the letter that way. That wouldn't be easy considering the fifty wild girls standing in front of them. And they where not likely to move before the guys where long gone.
«What
if I go inside the hotel and pretend that I want a room», Mira's
mother said to her husband. «Then I'll have a bigger chance to
talk to them»
«Do you know what they look like?» asked Mira's
father skeptical. She thought about it. «No» she answerd. With a
determinded expression she walked away from the girls and around the
hotel. After a little while she found a backdoor. Outside stood a
young boy in waiter uniform smoking. «What are you doing?» he asked
surprised when Mira's mum opend the door. «I deliver chickens
here. And I got a message from my boss that I had to get back here
and check if I had delivered some bad meat. It could be dangerous for
the guests to eat»
«Oh..» the boy said confused. «Yeah,
sure!» Lucky this was the kitchenentrance, she thought sneaking pass
the chefs and waiters in the gigantic hotelkitchen. Soon she was out
of the rastaurant and with no problems she got out to the reception.
There
was a very stict-looking man behind it and he was talkning to a
sturdy guy who where talking brusque and gesticulated towards the
elevator then over to the front door. He reminded her of a lifeguard.
After a minute or two he turned and walked to the elevator. The girls
started to scream like crazy. Mira's mum went resolute over to the
reception.
«May I order a room for my husband and myself? Vi
dont want a suite, but it have to be larger than a regular room for
two. Preferably a double bed, but rather singelbeds that suite. We
dont want a bathtub, but a shower. And the windows have to be to the
back yard. And no smoking, please!» she said in english. «Oh, I...
I dont know if we have a room like that avaliable at the moment» the
man said uncertain. He wasn't that strict anymore. «Isn't this
the best hotel in town? Or am I wrong?»
«Absolutly no, madame,
its might just be a little hard to find a rom that spesific at the
moment. We have so many guests at every time, You see...»
*PLING*
The
elevator door opend and out came four young boys. The two first where
masculine and muscular, one had long hair. The third one was high and
most likely thin, but it was hard to see under his to big clothes.
His hair looked like it had been plaited somehow. Then the last guy
came out of the elevator, Mira's mum had a hard time belive that
this was a guy at the beginning. He was high and thin too, and looked
alot like the former guy, but still, totally different. His hear was
long and black with blonde highlights, his nails where polished and
cared for so they shined. He where carrying a large white bag,
looking like a girls bag. The screames from the girl where now
impossible to overlook, they where bonecrushing. It just had to be
them. With determinded steps she walked over to the boys and blocked
the way to the door, they had to stop. The man looking like a
lifeguard walked over to her and where about to take her away, but
she hold her hand impatiently out, and made him stop. «I am not here
to attack or anything. I was just wondering which of you who are Bill
Kaulitz» she said in macaronic german. It had been a while since she
took german lessons.
«That's me» said the guy with a
girly-bag.
«I'm suppose to give you this letter» she said and
hold out the envelope. «Its from my daughter. She's dead...»
Without any other word she turned and walked to the main
entrance. Bill looked at the letter and wondered what could make a
mother meet at a hotel, full of wild, screaming fans, a tuesday
morning, so far from home. Thinking about the accent she was
definitivly not from germany.
«You'll have to read it on the
bus.» the lifeguard named Saki said. «We don't have time now»
-------------------------
But Bill didn't want to read the letter on the bus, with the other bandmembers around. He waited 'til night, after the concert, when he was alone on his bed. The other where in the livingroom playing Playstation, but he wasn't in the mood. He had a strong feeling that this letter, was important.
Dear Bill
You don't know me and I think that might be the reason that you are reading this letter now. I am aware that its thousands of girls in this world who idolize you and love you, but still I wanted to give you this letter. I became to devoured of you. To lost. I couldn't live with it anymore. The world is so mean some times and to me, it was cruel. I love you, and I allways will, but you will never know my name, if you read this at all. I don't want anyone else to end up like me, the would be pointless. Only I am stupid enough to dedicate my life to a dream. A dream that never will come true.
I am sure you don't remember, but we have meet, once. On your concert in Oslo, under Spring Nicht, right before the last chours. You looked at me and our hand touched in a short moment. That is forever my most happy memory.
I hope you become happy with the one lucky girl you love and who deserves your fantastic godness. Thank you so much for everything, Bill.
Mira
Bill folded the letter and put it in his night table drawer. He turned on his Ipod and started one of his own songs. Spring Nicht. He remembered that girl... She was the most beautifull girl he had ever seen. That why he looked at her, touched her. She was right. The world was mean sometimes. Sometimes so mean that he wished to be a regular boy, insted of a world famous singer.
~The End~