Disclaimer: If is was mine, then I wouldn't be sitting at my computer amusing myself as such while I wait for Bloodhound. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.
A/N: I did promise a companion to The Way is Shut; this is it! If I do say so myself, this is much less dark then aforesaid oneshot. Anyway, this is in Beka's point of view, and I actually really like it. So, that said, enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Every time I see him, I can remember who he was before. I can see the handsome, kind, witty, intelligent cove I fell in love with buried deep down somewhere. He's changed so much. Everything we had together seems to have meant nothing to him.
A few years ago, we could have been found laughing in my room, eating breakfast with our friends. Those days are no more – he moved out and stopped coming to breakfast a long time ago. He has undeniably changed, transformed from the person he was into a terrible, cruel monster.
I can't bring myself to hate him, for all he's chased us all away, me most of all. I still love him, despite what he has become. I hate what he has become, but I don't hate him.
He has become the very essence of the Rogue, the evil that the person who holds Thief-King's throne embodies for the average people. He has changed so completely that everyone around him wonders how this happened, and how the person he was became the monster he is today.
Just by looking at him, you can see the way he has changed, and the way that time has ravaged his features. Where there was once warm, glittering dark eyes, an easy smile, and effortless charm, there is malice and hate-filled blackness. Cruelty has engraved lines in his once handsome face, making him age decades in a matter of months.
I barely see the flashes of the man I knew, the one I love. Sometimes, I can see the desperate battle going on in the Rogue's mind, but the Rogue always comes out on top.
I still remember the time before as clear as day. Back when he was still himself. He was just Rosto then, King of the Rogue and all. I miss him. I can't even look in his eyes anymore.
He said he loved me and meant it, just as I said that I loved him and meant it. At least, I thought he meant it. I'm not sure of anything anymore when it comes to Rosto. All I know is that I still love him, even if who he was isn't who he is anymore. Even as the world falls down around me, I still love him. I just hope he realizes that someday.