Play off of MelodiousBloodShed's Pupshipping. :) Enjoy.

Seeing him. Knowing that I hurt him kills me. I know that what I did was wrong. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me. The fact that he is scared something will happen kills me also.
Everything that happened between us will never go away, and I accept that. I will never forget the way he laughed or smiled or hit me for making a not so clean joke.

Joey is..was everything to me. He was the first thought that crossed my mind every morning when I would wake up, and when I would go to sleep at night.

I would keep myself awake at night sometimes wondering if he thought about me, or if he was dreaming about me. it's a stupid thing I know…but still. At times…it felt wrong to be with him. At times…it was just sex. At times…I loved him. Those times were the death of me, but more importantly the death of him.

He has such a hateful outlook on everything now. What I did was so awful…and I don't know what I can do. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't mean to kill everything I loved about him, but accidents don't go unpunished. He was a thing of beauty and innocence. Something to love and learn from. Now he is broken, and damaged. No others see it, but I can. I can see what I did.

Its like I broke a mirror.

The most beautiful mirror in the world.

Even if it is minded, you will always be able to tell it was broken.

He hurts, and that's on me, He cries, and that's on me too. He's dead inside and I put that on myself.

Even when he tries to move on, he cant because I just come back. I need to dissapear because maybe he could breath without being afraid. I can never forgive myself for what I have done. I don't know why he has. Blond hair, and a goofy grin…that's the only thing that hasn't changed. Ive killed everything else. I don't ever plan on going back there, because I know that I'll change my mind…but I know that whenever there's a chance..I know I'll want to.

I'll want that again. The only problem is…I cant ever have that again…because even if I did get things straight…nothing can come back from the dead. He is no exception.

My heart changes often. I am a flower petal.

Swayed easily, and knocked down easier. Strong appearance but fragile to the touch.

Joey has broken me also…seeing someone as insignificant tear him down has left me with nothing.

No way to cope, no way to forget, and no way out.

Joey…Apologies aren't enough.

Don't be like a mockingbird, because they come with an instruction manual on how to kill you.

Don't be like a tree, so easily swayed.

Don't be like me…because you'll get hurt.

But I'm like me…so I hurt you for you.

Nothing I say can change what I did, nor do I want it to. You deserve someone who will make a promise not to hurt you, and unlike I, will keep it.

You remind me often, on how many others want you…just baiting me to bite.

Im no fish, but yarn that you string still catches me. Do you do it on purpose? Knowing that it kills me…to ask something like that's of me? My Joey would never do that.

So why..imposter do you?

Leave me alone.

My Joey is dead.

And on those days...I wish I were too.

This really hurt to write.

This like Mel, reminded me of my 'Puppy"

We were like Seto and Joey..yes were.

I can write Seto's point of view because I can relate.

I sound like a damn Emo, so ima go and listen to a really happeh song, get a yoohoo and think of old times. :)

See ya on the playground.

_xx.P.I.A. _