It was that night when my dreams were the most vivid that my life finally felt right. I was no longer drowning under all the pressure placed upon my sixteen-year-old self and I felt oddly at peace. I dreamt I was flying over the mountains and I felt like I was at the top of the world. It was that next morning when everything suddenly changed again. All it took was the blood staining my sheets to realize that something was definitely wrong. I rushed to the Hospital Wing and was told what I feared the most, my baby had died.
My sweet, innocent baby would never get to live now and it was all my fault. If only I had told someone about my darling child. She would have been beautiful with my facial features and Scorpius's coloring. I should have gone to Madam Pomfrey sooner. I was barely showing at just 4 months and having this secret to myself was stressful, but I could not let anyone know.
Our parents loathe each other and Albus would kill Scorpius if he ever knew we were dating, better yet sleeping together. Scorpius. What would he think of this? After I constantly lied and told him everything was fine, but it was not fine. This was not okay. My baby was with me these past 4 months and now she was dead.
I was finally going to tell Scorpius next week and now that moment would not happen.
Our secret relationship had started over a year ago when I turned fifteen. I had loved him since I was nine and I was so happy when he started to notice me as more than just friends. We had managed to sneak around the whole school year and we started having sex at the beginning of summer. No one suspected anything because our hanging out together was normal.
It was not until my 5th year started that things began getting complicated. Scorpius's father put even more pressure on him to find a perfect, pureblood wife and to get Outstandings on every N.E.W.T. We continued to date, but things were strained because of his parent's influence on him.
Then, I found out I was pregnant.
I did not know what to do, what to say, how to act. What does one do after they get pregnant at sixteen with a guy two years older than them when your parents hate each other? My plan of action: not tell anyone. I knew my secret would eventually be discovered, but until then I had decided to hide it.
Scorpius noticed that I was putting on weight, and I think he may have figured out what was really going on, but he never pushed it further. We went our separate ways for Christmas break and then the unthinkable happened. He broke up with me when we returned to Hogwarts.
At this point I was in a deep depression and my baby was the only thing keeping me alive. I gathered all my courage and decided that I would tell Scorpius next week in hopes that we would reconcile. But all that changed when I miscarried the very next morning.
Next week, I will be away from all my problems.
I will be floating into a dreamless sleep.
But this time when I wake up, I will be reunited with my baby.