This is my first ever attempt at Songfic so please be gentle. Reviews would be much loved and appreciated so I know how I did. Thanks.

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

When I fell in love with Sara Sidle 4 years ago, I knew it would be anything but easy, I never expected just how hard it could be. She could be the warmest, most romantic person one moment, and in the next cold, distant. When it was good, it was really good, when it was bad, well, when it was bad it was hell. She could cut me so deeply with her words and yet make me feel like a queen all at the same time. There was no option other than loving her.

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

When she left Vegas it was like a piece of my soul was being ripped apart, but at the same time I knew the tears would be over. No more sleepless nights wondering where she was and if she was safe, no more feeling like I was beating my head against a brick wall trying to get through to her, and no more remembering how similar it was to my marriage to Eddie. Or so I believed.

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

I remember the night she showed up on my doorstep like it was yesterday. It had been six months since she had left, and I truly thought I was over her. Seeing her standing there though, well, that changed everything. We didn't speak, she just kissed me and it felt like everything that had happened before was non existent. I let her in. Both my home and my heart.

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

Slowly we made our way to the bedroom. I felt her hands follow the familiar path of my body. It was like nothing had ever happened. I felt her lips on every part of my body, heard our laboured breathing as we worked to bring each other over that edge. She knew every place, and just how to touch me. She's the only one that's ever made me see stars, explosions and fireworks all at once.

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

As we made love, every good thing about her flooded through my head. Image after image and I remembered how good being with her could feel…

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But then I remembered the fighting, and the arguments and how easily she could hurt me, and how I always retaliated by hurting her, how sometimes the slightest thing could set her off and she'd leave and stay out all night leaving me to worry.

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

And when she left Vegas I swore I would never, ever let her back in…

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

How could something that feels so good, feel so bad at the same time? I love her. The feelings are flooding me. Having her laying in our bed beside me again, I never want to let her go…

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

Can't I just stay here, like this, forever?

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

I realize I can't let her go. Even if she breaks my heart again, I don't care. It hurts too much to not be with her.

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we…

I Catherine Willows, will always and forever love Sara Sidle.