COLT Files: The Case of the CelestiaNet Stalker
From the records of COLT Operative No. 45
The exhausted pony galloped faster through the Everfree Forest. She was tired, and couldn't keep her breath, but she couldn't stop. It might catch her. Faster and faster she ran, tree zooming by her in a blur. The pale full moon cast an empty light over the first snow that had fallen. She chanced taking a look over her shoulder, hoping against hope she had outran her assailant. However, she did not see the large stone jutting from the ground. Her left hoof struck it, tripping her up and sending her flying head-over-flank onto the ground. She gasped as she held her bruised hoof and tried to stand back up. She COULD NOT stop.
A shadow fell over her sprawled-out form, blotting out the precious light from the moon. She began screaming in terror.
"N-NO! PLEASE! I'll do anything! I'll give you a-anything you want!"
A glow formed around her attacker's horn as he prepared a devious spell.
"Now now, begging won't help you, Miss Cherilee! But oh yes, YES, you'll make a nice piece for my collection..."
The pony teacher had time for one more bloodcurdling scream as the unicorn's horn flashed and the spell hit the defenseless teacher.
He looked at the stone statue of Cherilee, her face frozen in a cry of terror.
"We can't have anypony finding out what we've been up to, you know? Although...hmm...what an inspiring thought! I know what we can do with you now! Oh my, everypony is going to love this one!"
The moon mournfully continued to cast its light down on the snow-carpeted forest, as the unicorn hummed a cheery tune and began dragging the heavy piece of stone behind him. It was rather heavy, he probably should have skipped the whole chase part and zapped her to begin with. But where's the fun in that?
Things had been quite different in Ponyville since the advent of the personal computer. A tiny company based in Manehattan called P.O.N.Y Technologies came up with the idea, knowing that the possibilities, and money, could be endless if it were manufactured in the right way. One of their designers hit upon the brilliant idea of processing units that ran off of tiny sparks of embedded unicorn magic. These Magic Processing Units blew roughly twenty years of technology development out of the way, and paved the road for fast computers that the average pony could not only use, but afford.
"Imagine the possibilities..." their sales reps and ad campaigns always began, followed by demonstrations of average ponies writing documents, creating reports and playing games. The "playing games" idea caught on VERY well, and soon ponies all over Equestria were solving puzzles, shooting bad guys, jumping onto rectangular platforms and any other sort of entertainment a game could provide.
The next big step was when another tech firm, Orange Inc., out of Hooftona down to the south, revolutionized the technology required for computers to communicate with each other. This caught the attention of Princess Celestia, who saw the potential benefits of connecting all the cities of her kingdom together. Thus, the nationalized CelestiaNet was born. For a mild tax increase, a pony in Ponyville could easily chat or play games with another pony from Manehattan or Fillydelphia.
On top of that, Princess Celestia began using some of the increased tax revenue to give grants to ponies and companies wanting to develop C-pages, sites for posting information accessible to anyone. The royal library of Canterlot began posting books online, thus guaranteeing Twilight Sparkle left her house even less of the time now. The Cakes also had a C-page up and running. Subscribers always knew what new delights were going to emerge from the bakery, and they could place orders online if they desired.
Though the technology wasn't without its issues, life in Equestria really seemed to have taken a good step forward these past few months.
Rainbow Dash walked through the door of the Turnover, Ponyville's newest watering hole. It was a pleasant place, rows of tables to the left where ponies could relax and grab a bite, or just meet up. To her right was the bar, and behind it she spotted her orange-coated, yellow-maned friend serving drinks and chatting to another patron, sporting her iconic cowboy hat and her trademark down-home twang.
"...Yep, ever since Celestia started gettin' all that increased tax money, she started findin' things to put it to use on. One of those was uh, subdisizing...subserizing...sudsi..-oh yeah, subsidizing our apple farm. I didn't like the idea at first, we Apple folk don't just take handouts, but I gotta' admit, the extra money flowin' in has helped out a lot. Our production's up, so more ponies get to enjoy our prized apples, plus I got to build the Turnover here. She sure is my pride and joy. Oh hey Rainbow Dash! Come on over and get ya' some cider."
The cyan pegasus flipped her rainbow mane back and coolly walked over, sitting down across from the bartender, her good friend Applejack. Applejack poured a golden, steamy beverage from a tap and slid it across the mahogany bar. Rainbow Dash gulped it down appreciatively. It was cold outside and the famous cider warmed her very soul.
"So how ya' been, sugarcube? You been gone for what, three days now trying to find out where this snow's a comin' from?"
"More like having all my hopes and dreams steamrolled into the ground", Rainbow Dash thought silently.
"Yeah, the Princess asked us weather pegasi to fly up north and figure it out. Turns out two ice dragons were fighting over a cave and all the ice-breathing was making the weather go crazy. But they settled it, the snow should let up in a day or so.", the rainbow pegasus replied casually.
"Well that's some good news. Big Mac's gonna' go apples if he has to plow any more snow. Oh hey, I fer'got, Granny Smith finally had her hip replacement the other day." Applejack pointed down to the other end of the joint.
Granny Smith was standing next to the jukebox, dancing jauntily to a song it pumped out. She glared fervently at the peaceful customers sitting nearby.
"That's right! Granny's up and at em' again!" she cackled. "Y'all can't touch this! Feel my funky rhythm!"
One pony sighed and pushed his plate away as Granny Smith began pelvic-thrusting in his direction.
Applejack laughed nervously. "She's uh...been a little too excited. I'm sure she'll wear down soon."
Rainbow Dash laughed back, before asking, "So, is this what you'll do all winter? Just run this place?"
"Yep, that and makin' cider. I love apple farmin' and apple buckin' but I get a different kinda' good feelin' from the Turnover here. I'm real glad I finally had enough to get it started. Oh, wait, hold on, customer needs somethin'."
"Ugh, I've already lied about this too much. When can I tell her?" Rainbow watched as Applejack strode to the customer trying to get her attention. She listened to the customer, then smiled, nodded and walked back to the kitchen. A second later-
"WHAT'DYA MEAN, TOO MUCH CINNAMON? TELL THAT HOITY-TOITY UNICORN SHE CAN JUS' COME BACK HERE AND BAKE THE PIE HERSELF!" Apple Bloom's cute but indignant voice echoed out into the dining room. Applejack walked back out and smiled nervously at the shocked, silent clientele.
"Ehe, don't worry ma'am, your new food'll be out soon as possible..."
Rainbow Dash couldn't help but laugh, and after a second, Applejack joined in. It was good to be back, the winter was tough on a pony.
CRASH
"Everypony! Come quick! I need help!" A lavender unicorn , sporting a dark purple mane interspersed with stripes of lighter purple and pink, burst through the Turnover's door, panting hard.
"Twilight Sparkle! Why, what's wrong?", asked Applejack worriedly as she saw her friends condition.
"Y-you have to come with me! I...I don't know what to do!", Twilight could only stammer hysterically, fatigue and shock catching up to her rapidly. Applejack nodded, her expression serious.
"All right, you jus' lead the way, we'll be right behind." Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash, looking for confirmation.
"Just bucking great. There goes my chance-no...no no no I can't think like that. Friends are always more important!" Rainbow slammed back the last half of her cider and wiped her mouth.
"Right, let's go Twilight pal!"
Twilight said nothing more and took off in a hot gallop through the snow, her friends trailing closely behind.
"Sweetie Belle, just what ARE you doing?", Rarity asked, holding back anger as her work was interrupted for the fourth time by an outburst from the younger filly. Maybe buying this new computer hadn't been such an easy fix after all. The younger sister had begged and pleaded, spelling out HUNDREDS of benefits. She could get so much work done if she designed on a computer. It was the way of the future. High-class ponies all used them. Rarity finally gave in, and bought one. Though, secretly, she enjoyed the idea of gaining culture and standing in the eyes of the upper hoof.
"Um, yeah, hey be right back guys," Sweetie Belle spoke into the boom mike of her headset before swinging it up out of the way and turning from the PC, obviously distracted. "I told ya' Sis, I'm tanking Discord and it's working so far, but he keeps shifting his aggro back to Scoot's healer!"
All Rarity heard was gibberish. The white unicorn sighed, turning back to her design. She pushed her work glasses further up the bridge of her nose and flipped back her royal purple mane, focusing on the delicate stitching in front of her. Her horn glowed blue as she levitated the needle with utmost precision. Just one...more...stitch-
"CONSARNIT! You back-flipping piece of flank steak! Quit turning my spirit potions into squeaky toys! I can't use Whinny of Fury anymore you jouncing hoof-muncher!-"
"SWEETIE BELLE!"
Rarity hopped around in pain as the sudden outcry of cursing caused her to send the needle right through the fabric she was working on and into her other hoof. Sweetie Belle groaned in disappointment as Discord unleashed his "Chocolate Rain" AOE attack and wiped out the trio's team in one fell swoop. Now that was chaos.
"Aww, we were so close! Oh well, we'll get him later guys." She turned around in her chair, eyeing her enraged sister. Rarity glared at the younger white filly.
"Can't...you...and your friends...play together...SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN MY SHOP!"
Sweetie Belle was out the door in a flash. Her and her friends could just brainstorm for some new cutie mark-gaining ideas. Besides, there were some battles you just had to run away from.
Rarity sighed, slumping down in Sweetie's computer chair. This dress order HAD to be bound for Canterlot in a week's time, and she still had two more garments to finish. She haughtily glanced at the computer screen, reading banner of the running program to herself.
"Hmm...My Equestria? Live the life you've always dreamed...travel to worlds you can only imagine of...be any pony or creature you desire...oh what is this nonsense?"
Curiously, she clicked on an icon. A new screen popped up, asking her to make a name and password, and pick a game world to play.
"Well", she thought to herself, "I could use a break, might as well give it a try."
As the noon sun shone brightly overhead, Fluttershy slowly walked up to the door and tried to peek through it. It magically slid open as she got too close.
"EEP!", she yipped and zoomed behind a nearby litter bin. The greeterpony at the door didn't quite know what to say. It took Fluttershy five minutes to work up the confidence to pass through the magical sliding door. She raced through, convinced it would snap shut on her as she was halfway through, trapping her forever in it's cold, hours of operation and possibly today's specials-showing jaws. It didn't.
She sighed in relief, good thing that was over.
"Welcome to Ponytronics. Can I help you, miss?"
"AAHHH!" She turned tail and ran backwards, straight into a shopping cart, and fell inside whimpering and trying to hide.
"I don't get paid enough for this...", the pony thought glumly.
"Oh my, look at that, it's time for lunch," he said loudly to no one in particular, before trotting off happily to the employee break room. He had a date with a lovely lady, and her name was "Jack Apple's Hard-Buckin' Vintage No. 2", meaning that she was, of course, a bottle of cider.
Another five minutes passed, then Fluttershy ever-so-slowly emerged from the shopping cart. Confident no sales ponies were going to ambush her, she dusted herself off and pulled out her list. She needed some parts.
About an hour later, she slowly pushed her cart up to the cashier, trying to look as small and unassuming as possible.
"Hello deary, did you find everything you needed today?"
She squeaked at the question presented to her, freezing up completely.
"Come on Fluttershy, you have to be more brave, like your friends are always saying."
"Y-yes...I...found everything...I needed..."
Score one for Fluttershy
"Okay then...", the pony cashier gave her a funny look before ringing up her items.
"Oh my, these are quite some components you're buying," she said, impressed, as she pawed the boxes into Fluttershy's shopping tote. "A 3-gigaHorn MPU, a LunarBeatsFX sound card...oh wow, a 2 Alfalfabyte storage drive..."
And last, la piece de resistance. The holy grail of all that sent and received data in binary.
"And a HorsePower Nitro-5 graphics card! The hallmark of the 5-series! I didn't even know we carried these!" The cashier looked to be almost in tears from even handling the box of the high-performance component.
"O-oh...yes..." Fluttershy blushed. "I had to um...order it..."
"Well, I see SOMEpony will be playing things the way they were meant to be played from now on. And how will you be paying?"
"Oh, yes, I brought cash," replied Fluttershy, pulling out her bulging wallet. As she placed it on the counter, it dispersed money, as well as a copious amount of birdseed. The cashier stared incredulously.
"Ehehe...sorry...well, this looks about right." Fluttershy quickly portioned out the right amount of money. It was almost all of what she had brought. Worth it though. "You um...have a...good day...", Fluttershy quickly ran out, only having to stop in fear at the automatic doors once.
"Score two..."
The cashier snorted, looking at all the birdseed she would have to clean up.
On the way home with her newly-acquired hardware, Fluttershy passed by Rarity's boutique. It was evening now, and she decided to drop in for a quick visit. Rarity did not answer upon Fluttershy's gentle knocking, however.
Creaaaak
The door groaned ominously as Fluttershy slowly pushed it open and peeked into the dark shop.
"H-hello? Rarity?"
Nopony answered back. Straining her eyes in the dark, Fluttershy noticed the faintest glow from under a closed door, in the back of the shop.
"Rarity? Are you there?" Again, no answer. As Fluttershy drew closer, she began to hear sounds. They sounded like roars from terrible monsters, along with gunfire and clashing swords.
"Maybe it's just Sweetie Belle playing a game...", she thought to herself. With one final steeling of courage, she inched the door open. The soft glow was indeed emitting from a computer screen. The silhouette of a horn denoted a unicorn was playing whatever game the sounds came from. Whomever sat in the office noticed the intrusion, and the chair silently rotated...
"Oh, hello Fluttershy dear, can I help you with something?", asked Rarity cheerfully, albeit in an exhausted manner.
Fluttershy almost screamed in surprise, but clamped her own hoof over her mouth just in time.
"Score three."
"O-oh! Hi Rarity! I was just stopping by, to see...how you were...", she replied happily, glad it was her friend in the shop and not...well...anything else.
"Oh, I'm fine. Sorry it's so dark in here. I just got a little...absorbed into this online game. Funny, I didn't think it would be very fun...but I...can't seem to stop playing..." Rarity had already turned back to the screen, engrossed in her epic battle. Fluttershy edged nearer, curious to see the action. On screen Rarity seemed to be controlling a team of three characters. Her team and six other avatars swarmed around a gigantic, fearsome demon as they laid waste to it, using a variety of magic, swords and guns. Fluttershy had heard of this game. Part of MyEquestria, the game world was called Caballita Espada, loosely based upon the historical period of old when ponies were exploring the frontiers of Equestria.
"You see we're..trying to take down this demon...he has a chance of dropping the key to the Ice Wizard's Tower..." Rarity was almost talking to herself. "I formed...a clan with Ditzy and...Octavia...fun stuff..."
Fluttershy stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do.
"Well um...okay, I've got to get back home...you know...animals and stuff...", she said quietly as she inched to the door.
"Okay darling, you have a good night. We're still on for our normal spa treatment, right?", Rarity asked, returning to the real world for a moment. Fluttershy perked up, calling back, "Oh yes! I would never miss our time together! See you then!"
"Sweet Celestia's horn! They turned Cherilee inta' a fancy fountain!", Applejack's exclamation rang out loudly as the three ponies just stared at what had become of everypony's favorite filly instructor.
Rainbow Dash paced around, furious, as Applejack comforted Twilight Sparkle.
"Of all the low-down, mean, dirty tricks! What creature would turn poor Cherilee to stone? She never did anything to anypony!" Rainbow Dash snorted angrily, trying to think of a reason the school teacher was currently the fountain centerpiece of a nice water feature on the outskirts of Ponyville. Somepony or some creature had even rigged a small magical water pump, giving the effect that Cherilee was spewing water out of her screaming mouth.
"Rainbow Dash?", asked Applejack tentatively.
"Yeah, what?"
"I think Twilight's ready to say somethin'..."
"Oh, sorry Twilight." Rainbow sat down on Twilight's other side, giving her more support as the purple unicorn swallowed and cleared her throat.
"Th-this isn't the work of some creature. Cherilee reeks of magic. Unicorn magic."
Applejack gasped in surprise.
"Now what kinda' awful pony would go 'round turnin' others into stone? It doesn't make no sense! Why I didn't even know unicorns could do that sorta' thing!"
Twilight Sparkle gulped, and hunched down more. "We're n-not supposed to, Applejack. Such magic is strictly forbidden in unicorn domain, and extremely hard to cast. Even the knowledge of HOW to perform d-dark spells such as this was supposed to be lost! We're not dealing with an average unicorn here. I have to send a letter to the princess immediately..she has to know that somepony is out there performing...the Forbidden Hexes..."
Just the word "hex" sent a shiver down Rainbow's back. A dark magical curse that brings nothing but harm and hardship and sorrow to the target.
"So can't you just, like...un..hex her?", she asked nervously.
"No...magic like this is just too powerful...the original caster is the only one who can undo the effects..." Twilight sniffled, still rattled that some mean pony would use magic in such a harmful way. It was supposed to be used for good.
"Well let's get you home Twilight!", Rainbow spurted out quickly and with a false sense of bravado. "You can write that letter, plus, we uh...won't have to be, you know...alone." Her wings drooped and her stomach fluttered nervously at the thought of some freaky unicorn going around, casting spells like this one willy-nilly. It could be anypony.
By three days later, two more ponies had met the same fate as Cherilee. DJ-PON3, or Vinyl Scratch, as closer friends knew her by, was found in Ponyville's central market. In her stone state, it was clear she had been trying to push away an assailant, her arms outstretched in front of her, face in an angry grimace. Now she was balancing a birdbath, like some creepy lawn sculpture.
Ditzy Doo, everypony's favorite, cross-eyed mailmare was missing as well. On the second day of no mail, ponies feared the worst and went searching high and low, but they could find no traces of the gentle, happy pony, living or stone. Ponies began staying indoors, only going out if they absolutely had to. Even the fillies' schooling was temporarily put on hold, seeing as how nopony would take Cherilee's place. With a serial hexer on the loose, and no police presence in Ponyville, they weren't going to take any chances.
The scariest part was, nopony had any idea who the criminal could be. There were no clues left behind, no witnesses, anything. Only stone statues showing up, posed as macabre art.
Inside the Turnover, Applejack sighed. It was completely empty, and she couldn't stand it. Well, almost empty. Rainbow Dash was slowly slurping down her fourth glass of Applejack's hard cider, slumped over the bar.
"Shoot, this is depressin' t'all of us, but that cider ain't the place to take yer problems to. Y'just end up with a headache and bad memories.", the earth pony thought while she swept a section of the floor. Again. For the fifth time.
"Heyyy...b-barkeep! Another cider! This glass needs to be about...I dunno...twenty percent...fuller...", slurred Rainbow Dash, waving her hoof around. Applejack stopped sweeping and huffed.
"You ain't gettin' no more cider Rainbow. First, my name's Applejack, not barkeep. Second, ya' haven't paid fer the last three ciders and I'm not openin' any tabs with no business fer two whole days. Last, what's got you so shook up you can't put that glass down? I know it's hard to stay positive with s'many ponies bein' attacked, but you know the princess will sort all this out as soon as she gets back from Fillydelphia."
Rainbow Dash sniffled as a few tears leaked their way out onto the bar. "They didn't want me..."
"Wait, what? Who didn't want ya'?", Applejack asked, confused.
Rainbow sighed and sat up, turning her tear-streaked face to her friend. "I was trying to tell you the other day, when I got back. I wasn't gone to yell at ice dragons. I was in Canterlot, talking to the Wonderbolts..." She trailed off, staring miserably at the floor.
Applejack sat down next to her. "Well, go on now, spit it out, what did they say?", she asked, inciting her to continue.
"They said...there wasn't any room on the team...that there probably wouldn't be for a l-long time..." Rainbow Dash leaned into her friend, trying not to let a flood of tears consume her. "That was my biggest dream...what if I never get the chance? They'll never see how good I can fly. How awesome I can be. I just want to show them...it was my dream...now what do I do? It could b-be...years...", she finished, the cider causing her to cry into Applejack's shoulder.
Applejack understood. Waiting was hard for some ponies, and discouragement came easy to those who wanted instant gratification. She hadn't became a good apple farmer overnight. It had taken years of learning, learning to listen to the trees and the ground. And of course years of repetition, honing her skills. She hugged Rainbow Dash tight, feeling sympathetic.
"Now you listen here missy. You're one of the...awesomest...ponies I know. And I know they'd see that if you got th'chance ta show 'em. I' not sure what ta' say to make ya' feel better, but I'll always be here if you need. Jus'...try to remember, Canterlot wasn't built in a day, or even a season. But it did get built, and it's one of the finest cities in the land."
"So...what you're saying is that I'll get the chance to prove my skills eventually? I just have to be more patient and gain solace from the fact that someday they'll get to see how good of a flier I am?", asked Rainbow, looking up into Applejack's face hopefully. Applejack smiled warmly and hugged her tighter.
"Of course sugarcube, now, why don't ya' put that cider away. It's on me today. I don't think there'll be any more business fer a while, so let's go see what our friends are up t-"
"Well LEMME tell ya! Rainbow Dash doesn't know the meaning of words like "eventually", or "patience"! The next time those Wonderbolts are back around here, I'll find a way to show them my awesome tricks. They won't know what hit them. They'll HAVE to let me on the team!"
Applejack sighed at Rainbow's interruption. Some ponies just never learned. Well, at least her confidence was back, for now.
"Actually, that's not quite what I meant...", Applejack tried to explain, but she was cut off as the door crashed open. She really needed to get rid of those saloon-style doors. They did nothing but let in too much cold air, and break from the constant slamming. She turned and saw Fluttershy stumbling up to them, crying.
"Fluttershy, what's wrong with you?", Applejack asked, alarmed.
"Oh Applejack, Rainbow Dash, it's horrible! I've been flying around for an hour, trying to find somepony...you see...I was at the spa, waiting for Rarity, but she never came!", Fluttershy stammered out, extremely distressed.
"Well, maybe she was busy today? You guys can always go again later", replied Rainbow Dash.
"No, you don't understand! I went to Carousel Boutique to see where she was, and I found her there. S-she was..."
Applejack put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "She was what, Fluttershy? You can tell us."
Fluttershy looked up, her soft blue eyes rimmed with tears.
"She's been...turned into stone!"