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Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind
Giving you someone to talk to
Hello...
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He fled. Fled England and his memories of Alexis... they haunted him. A close friend of his from the wizarding world, Johan, had found him on his doorstep, sodden, sobbing, and deathly pale. For a few days, Severus' body had been wracked with high feavers and a nasty cough, but under Johan's vigillant eye, the life-tired wizard finally came back to his health.
And still, her eyes haunted him. Her words... they whispered to him in the night. The last moments of her life continued playing out in slow motion in his head, horrible 'what if's plaguing his already plagued mind.
He couldn't sleep, wouldn't eat... flinched at any sudden movement, and remained in the shadows if he ever moved, which was only once or twice a day to go to the toilet or have a shower.
He hated life. He had nothing to live for... not now that Alexis was dead. She was what made him wake up in the morning, oftentimes quite literally and cruelly with the removing of thousands of layers of blankets in mid-winter. Every day he contemplated suicide. What was the best way to go?
There were several ways. Most of them consisted of difficult potions with obscure ingredients and the outcome would be guessed a mile away by Johan. Then there were the Muggle ways: cutting the wrists, hanging... all of them gruesome. But there was one... one that would be able to numb his aching body and heart as he died.
Get pissed drunk and slip into a cold bath in your clothes. The drink would numb the pain from the cold and the cold would slowly put him to sleep. Yess... that would be the way to go.
It was 6pm when Johan finally left for his night-time job. Thankfully, the man liked his liquor and had a small box filled with vodka. Writing his apologies and leaving them on his pillow, Severus grabbed the box of vodka and began to run his cold bath, senselessly knocking back the fiery liquid. Half-way through his first bottle and reality was already beginning to slip... the bath was full. Turning off the taps, he clambered jerkilly into the cold water.
********************
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you
So you can hide
Don't cry...
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It hurt at first, but after another bottle of vodka, all his senses had numbed. Actually, the bath was rather pleasant. After the third bottle of vodka, the world was beginning to fade out and his eyelids droop. He'd been in there... how long hadhe been in there? It seemed like forever.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" a voice shrieked just to his left.
"Dying, what else?" he slurred carelessly, swivelling his head around to face whoever it was screaming at him. He dumbly noted his surprise at the fact that it was a woman of about 50 standing with her hands on hips and a furious expression on her face. It obviously wasn't Johan. "Now Exkooz me... I'm goooing to see Alllexis," He said, eyes closing and head rolling back.
"Oh like HELL YOU ARE!" the old-lady-turned-harpy screamed, suring forwards. She touched the water and hissed. Ice-cold. Severus' lips were purple and his face pale , deep bags surrounding his hollow eyes. His teeth were chattering, but he was oblivious to the world. The water heated at her second touch, but Severus never took notice. "Severus Snape. Look at me!" There was something compelling about the way she said it, and Severus found his eyelids opening, revealing his dulled black orbs.
"Just let me die..." he whispered.
"I will not! Alexis will beat you to a pulp if you die!" His heart resurrected itself at the mention of Alexis, then stopped again. "You will not kill yourself or die in any way, shape, or form until it is your goddamned time, you hear me?!" the lady demanded, purple eyes flaming angrilly. Snape nodded meekly, his drunken state disappearing surprisingly quickly. He was sober enough to realise the water was very warm, bordering on hot. "I'll be keeping an eye on you. Should you pull a stunt like this again, you will regret the day you were born.
"Too late for that."
"Fine. I'll stick you in the middle fo a theatre showing a 48-hour Power Puffs marathon and put up a magical shield around it!" That hit home. Severus shuddered. "I will see you again sometime, Severus Snape."
It was another three hours before Cameron came to check up on Severus. By that time, the Potions Master had heaved himself out of the hot water and had changed. Cameron came in to see Severus cooking, a 'Kiss The Cook' apron over his black clothes as he flipped pancakes.
"Shit! Talk about a five-fucking-second-turn-about!" Severus just looked over his shoulder and, for the first time in weeks, smirked.
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Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here,
All that's left of yesterday...
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Author's Rants:
WOHOI!!! I got a laptop! His name's Hitokiri Kakeo and he's a really shitty assassin and an even worse computer. But anyway. He's a 9 year old IBM ThinkPad (heehee. The ThinkPad logo is in Agency FB which just so happens to be my favourite font ^_^) with no floppy drive, no network card and 1gb worth of room. And the only way to connect him to Jecht (the family computer is called Jecht because they're both assholes) or any other computer is via parallel connection cable. Oh, and the big bro's new laptop (a Dell Notebook) is now called the Nechronomicon (SP????) from the Cthulhu adventures ^_^. And this was all typed up on Kakeo while listening to all the ongaku (music) on Kakeo. I love Kakeo!!! *huggles the army-edition of a laptop* he's over an inch thick, about a foot square and he's sooooooo kawaii!!!!!!
Please review! All reviews are much appreciated!!
~~*~~Priestess~~*~~