Death & Understanding

Page Six: Death & Understanding

Author: Master Jinn

Rating: PG

Author's Note: This story takes place before EPI.

DISCLAMER: As always the characters of Obi-Wan Kenobi,
Qui-Gon Jinn, Yoda, and any others used belong to George Lucas
and Lucasfilm LTD. NO copyright infringement is intended by this.
It was all in good fun. Enjoy and let me know what you think. =)

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The fire raged up as it consumed the small body within. A long sustained drum roll traced the passage of the flames as they brought the small body to spirit and ash. Above the gathered, a flight of snowy doves was released in to the sky. The birds rose higher as if carrying the spirit away. Slowly, those who came to honor him, slowly began to leave, all but one, Obi-Wan Kenobi. He stood silent, solemn as the fire slowly burned down. He couldn't believe he was here. Not more than a few days ago, he had been laughing with his friend, but now his friend laid in the fire. He looked watching the doves fly away. Good-bye, Torries, he whispered, Good-bye my friend. He pulled his cloak closed as a slight breeze picked up. He shivered, not because of the cold, but from the emotions he was trying to hold inside. He took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. Then finally, he walked away, feeling suddenly alone. He entered the Jedi Temple, hearing and seeing activity about him. Through his eyes though, the Temple was empty. He wondered about aimlessly till he found himself on the Jedi balcony.
The stars began to shine as the sun finally disappeared, leaving the city and Obi-Wan in a blanket of darkness. He looked out across the city, feeling sadness over take him. His knees buckled causing him to drop to them in a fury of tears. He covered his face as he tried desperately to stop them. His whole body trembled as he turned, leaning against the wall. He brought his knees up and wrapped his cloak about. He wanted to hide inside it, have it take him from his sadness and memories of the past few day's events. As he closed his eyes tightly, the events played back.


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Obi-Wan wiped the sweat from his brow as he headed back to his room. He had just left his Master after completing his day's training. Hey Obi, a voice called. He turned to see his friend Torries running up to him.

Hey Torries, he said as the small framed boy caught up to him.

I haven't seen you in a while Obi, what have you been up to? Torries smiled.

The usual, he said throwing the towel over his shoulder.

Are you done training for the day?

Obi-Wan could sense the boy's excitement, Yeah, why? he asked cautiously.

Well, me and the other guys are heading into town, want to come?

He could see in the young boy's eyes, Torries really wanted him to go, he answered, Let me leave a note for my Master. Obi-Wan ran to the room he shared with Qui-Gon Jinn, his Master, and scribbled a note. Then, gathering his cloak and lightsabre, met Torries, Garen Muln and Reeft. The four had known each other for a long time and had many adventures in the city together. The four wondered about, looking in shops and being plain boys. They had fun and laughed, playing tricks on each other or ruff-housing one another.

Outside one of the shops, the four boys looked in. There displayed holographicly, were the new model space ships. Torries breathed, I'm going to fly one of those one day.

Yeah, if you can reach the controls, Reeft jested.

Garen laughed with Reeft but Obi-Wan did not, You will one day Torries and you'll be a great Jedi too, he said as he placed a hand on the small boy.

Torries smiled a warm thank you, You're starting to sound like your Master Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan took this as a complement, but the other two laughed. Torries's words filled him with pride. Obi-wan turned, looking in the window again. He suddenly had a strange feeling come over him. As he turned, he heard a group of men running towards them. They pushed the boys aside, scattering them about. Following in a speeder, another group of men appeared quickly. Garen Muln pushed Reeft down as blaster shots soared just above them. Obi-Wan turned in time only to hear himself scream. He watched, as if in slow motion, the body of Torries be struck in the chest and sent flying through the display window. He jumped up running to him. He pushed away the debris and held Torries's head to him, but he knew he was to late as he felt the Force leaving the small boy.

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Obi-Wan looked up. New tears now streamed down his face. he said to no-one.

The Force works in strange ways my Padawan, a strong gentle voice said from the darkness.

Obi-Wan stood quickly, pulling his hood up, How long have you been here?

Not long, he lied. Qui-Gon Jinn had seen his protege in the halls earlier and followed him out. He had been watching Obi-Wan silently from the shadows. He wanted to comfort him, hold him in his arms and make the pain go away. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't. Obi-Wan needed to work this out himself first. It's cold out, perhaps we should go inside.

I'd like to stay out here for a while Master, he said turning away. He wiped the tears away quickly and tried to appear strong.

Do not stay out here to long then, the night grows colder. He placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and felt him flinch. Normally his touch calmed his padawan, but not this time. Qui-Gon's heart ached. He turned slowly, hoping Obi-Wan would ask him to stay, but the boy did not.

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Several days passed since the burial of Torries. Obi-Wan tried to continue his training, hoping it would take his mind off the events that kept replaying in his mind. It didn't. Every minute of the day, a reminder flashed before his eyes. He grew more and more distracted by this.

Concentrate Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon said as Obi-Wan tried to balance himself. He was upside down on a very slender beam on one hand. He tired to keep his balance but fell instantly, hitting the floor awkwardly.

Obi-Wan grabbed his knee as pain shot threw it.

Qui-Gon walked over and knelt before him, Are you alright my Padawan. Perhaps we should end this day's training.

I'm fine Master, Obi-Wan said trying to stand. He felt the pain shoot up his body, but he pushed it back.

Qui-Gon sighed, knowing how headstrong his apprentice could be, Very well. Lets work on our swordmanship. A simple duel should do. He stepped back, pulled his lightsabre out and ignited it.

Obi-Wan did the same. Slowly they fought. They blocked each other's blows easily, but then there was a turn of events. Qui-Gon could feel the uneasiness and anger growing in Obi-Wan as he managed to hit him several times easily. Use the Force Obi-Wan. Concentrate more and let it control your actions, he instructed.

But Qui-Gon felt the rage take over his young apprentice as Obi-Wan's sabre bore down on him. Qui-Gon tried to block it but Obi-Wan was quick and landed a blow into his side. Lucky for him, the sabres were set on low, but the energy was still strong enough to leave a burn. He stepped back surprised and tripped on the mat as the blow and his movement knocked him down.

Obi-Wan stood stunned looking down at his Master. I'm sorry, he whispered as he dropped his sabre and ran from the room.

Qui-Gon called out, but the boy didn't stop.

The boy is dangerous Master Jinn, but yet you continue his training, Mace Windu said standing at the door.

Qui-Gon looked up and watched as the Jedi Master and old friend walked in, He is not dangerous.

He is full of rage and it is eating at him. If he continues to allow this, he will surely turn to the Darkside.

Qui-Gon glared at him. He would not fail again. He was determined not to see another turn to the Darkside, especially Obi-Wan.

Remember you must Masters, a boy he still is. Much learning he still has, Yoda said interrupting the two.

You see something in the boy I do not Master Yoda, Mace said turning to him.

Obi-Wan has suffered a great lose. He only needs time to deal with it, Qui-Gon said stepping forward.

But his is blaming himself, and the Force, Mace said a little more irritated.

I will help him through this, Qui-Gon picked up the sabres and turned to leave.

That you will Master Jinn. Teach him what you learned you will, and closer you will be. Yoda pointed out to him.

Qui-Gon looked down at Yoda and only nodded an understanding.

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Don't come to close Master, I may hurt you again, Obi-Wan said from the balcony wall.

You will not hurt me my Padawan, he said coming to stand beside his apprentice. You never meant to.

You seem so sure of that Master, I am not.

I am, I trust the good I sense inside you my young apprentice.

The Force,... he said silently, Do not trust it Master. It could bring you great pain,...needless pain.

The pain you are feeling is blocking your judgment, and it is understandable.

No it's not, he snapped, You don't understand, no one does. You tell me things don't happen by chance. That it is the WILL of the Force. Well is it the will of the Force that an innocent boy die...for no reason.

Finally it was coming out, Yes, perhaps, the Force works in mysterious ways. No one can fully understand the reasons on how it works. We can only accept it. Let me tell you a story. It happened a long time ago. His voice became softer, more distant as he looked up at the stars, It was here at the Temple. A Jedi Master named Kurisuti-na was training his apprentice...

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Very good my Padawan, you are learning fast, Master Kurisuti-na said to the boy in front of him.

The young boy pushed his braid back as he flipped to his feet. His eyes held the boyish glee of happiness. He was always happy to please his Master.

You are becoming stronger, more patient, and I might add, tall as well, he said ruffling the young man's short hair.

The young Jedi admired his Master eminencly. Master Kurisuti-na was always patient with him and treated him as an equal. He was also kind and very understanding. Usually his height tended to intimidate most who encountered him. But it only added to his mystic, with deep black eyes and the long flowing black hair. Those who knew him understood his deep understanding of the Living Force. He was more in tune with it than any other Jedi. He often stressed this to his your apprentice, how important every living thing was and that our actions had a cause and effect on all that is about. The one thing the young Jedi admired most about his Master was that he wasn't afraid to show his feeling.

The Jedi Council kept warning Kurisuti-na that one day his Padawan would be just like him. He only stated simply that he hoped so.

As the day's lesson ended, Kurisuti-na smiled at his protege, Come my young apprentice, let us go into the city for a meal and possibly adventure.

Yes Master, the young man said as he followed his teacher.

I know a little place that will bring great joy to your pallet, Kurisuti-na smiled.

They soon left the Temple but not as Master and apprentice, but as close friends.

As they enjoyed their meal, Kurisuti-na told his companion of the many adventures he had been on and the important lessons he had learned. One day, you will be telling your own Padawan stories such as these. But remember, these are not just stories, they are lessons as well. Learn from them.

Yes Master, his young apprentice said walking out at his Master's side.

And never forget my Padawan, Kurisuti-na turned to him, The Force works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it is not by coincidence that some things occur. We may not understand them now, but in time we will. He hailed a taxi, allowing his young apprentice to enter first.

The taxi pulled away to sail silently through the night sky. The two talked aimlessly about nothing in particular. Then, in the back of the young man's mind, something bothered him, Master, I have... his words were cut short as another air taxi slammed into them. The force of the impact was so great that the whole driver's side of the vehicle was crushed. The metal from the other taxi penetrated his master's chest and killed the driver. Blood spurted out and splattered on the young apprentice. The taxi fell briefly before hitting one of the walkways below. Stunned and slightly injured, the young man turned slowly to his Master. He reached out for his Master, pushing the metal debris away.

The young protege could feel his Master's life Force slowly leave him. Master,' he cried, touching his face.

Blood leaked out of the corner of Kurisuti-na's mouth as he turned to see his Padawan.

he said more weakly as tears rolled down his cheeks, Please don't die, not now.

Kurisuti-na reached up and touched the young man's face. Through clouded eyes, he could still see his Padawan's face clearly, The Force is leaving me my Padawan. But... he paused as pain shoot threw him, do not mourn for me, for I will live in you, always. He blinked as he tried to refocus on his Padawan's face, Remember not the training... but the friendship and the love we shared. This is a more important lesson... it will make you stronger, more understanding. It will make you who you are and will become one day. My only regret... is that I will not see you become the man you are destined to become. He closed his eyes briefly, feeling more tired.

his Padawan whispered more fearfully.

Do not let them tell you... he continued, that you should not grieve. Show your emotions. Those emotions, the sadness, the happiness, and the regrets make us who we truly are. When you need to...let your emotions go. Not all lead to the Darkside... only if you are weak will it. Be strong, but mourn for me as long as you need to, cry if you must. Do not let them tell you otherwise. Make me proud my Padawan and always remember I love you. He closed his eyes for the final time.

I love you too Master, the young man whispered as he heard the final breath leave his Master's lips. He held Kurisuti-na's hand to him as tears flowed more freely down his face.

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Obi-Wan stood silent as he looked at his Master. Qui-Gon's body wasn't as ridged as before and he had a distant look in his eyes. He was talking about his Master. He realized he truly didn't know his Master, he didn't know Qui-Gon, the person, the man. He reached out and touched him briefly, What did you do Master?

Qui-Gon turned looking at him. He fought back the tears that now haunted him. He didn't do this cause he felt Obi-Wan would think he was weak, but because he was out there for Obi-Wan, he wanted Obi-Wan to learn from his experiences, to understand. he paused as his voice cracked. He quickly recomposed himself before continuing, I mourned for my Master. It was a long time before the pain finally subsided.

You still miss him, Obi-Wan whispered. He could feel his Master's pain.

Yes, I do. But I went on with him in my heart. Because no other Jedi wanted to continue my training, Master Yoda did. He didn't approve of Kurisuti-na's methods of training but he did not let me forget them. He said we were cut from the same cloth of the Force. To this day, Master Yoda has been the only one to understand me. He turned to face Obi-Wan now, I only want to help you through your pain. This pain you are feeling will never go away and you will never forget it. It will be with you always because you carry a little part of Torries with you, in your heart. He touched Obi-Wan's chest briefly.

Obi-Wan looked down as more tears threatened to appear, Do you think the Force meant for your Master and Torries to die?

Perhaps. The Force works in mysterious ways. We as Jedi strive to understand it, control it for the good of all, to keep it balanced. But it truly controls us. It takes us down the path of life we were meant to follow. I know that with the death of my Master, I had a greater understanding of this. One day you will too.

I do have much to learn, Obi-Wan said turning away.

Yes you do my Padawan, and all your life, you will continue to learn. Eventually, the emotion of loosing someone will subside and understanding and peace will follow. Let the Force help you... he placed his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulder, and let me help you. Instead of flinching this time, he felt the boys shoulders tremble as he let his pent-up emotions truly flow. He slowly turned Obi-Wan around and pulled the boy to him. He wrapped his arms about Obi-Wan tenderly.

Obi-Wan buried his head in his Master's chest as the emotion raged out of him uncontrollably.

They stood together in each other's arms silently, like father and son. The sky grew brighter as the sun began to rise, bringing a new day and a new beginning.