A/N: I had this idea when listening to the song Stacy's Mom-which I claim no ownership of whatsoever- by Fountains of Wayne, but this is not a song fic, being as it does not use any of the actual song lyrics. Also, to be clear, it is completely one-sided James and Astoria. Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters used in this fanfic.
Scorpius's Mum
James Potter walked with Scorpius Malfoy as he got off the Hogwarts Express. He was going to be spending just under a week that summer at his friend Scorpius's house. Scorpius was a year younger than James. (James was fourteen and Scorpius was thirteen years old.) Both boys were in Gryffindor, and as such got to know each other, found out they shared similar interests, and as such became fast friends. This was the first time James would meet Scorpius's parents. His father had pointed them out to him from a distance and had told James about them, but James had never properly met them.
This would also be the first time he would be staying over at Scorpius's house. According to Scorpius, his parents didn't have much of a problem about their friendship, but did want to meet James. When they walked a little farther, James saw her and his breath was taken away. She was one of the most beautiful witches he had ever seen. She had long golden blonde hair that was not dimmed by the smoke coming from the train. She had blue eyes that seemed to see into his soul.
"Hello," she greeted, smiling an angelic smile. "I'm Scorpius's mum. You must be James."
He was wordless, something exceptionally rare for James Potter. He only managed a helpless nod. Scorpius hugged Astoria. Draco was not there, but James was not surprised. Scorpius had told him that his dad had been away for weeks on "business", and probably would not be back in time to meet James, unfortunately. James suspected however, that Draco Malfoy had run out on the family, rather than being away on business as Scorpius had claimed. Draco Malfoy had supposedly reformed since the war, marrying Astoria Greengrass who, according to James's Uncle Neville/Professor Longbottom, had been a Hufflepuff in school and a member of the D.A. during her fifth year, Neville's seventh year. She was one of the few members of the D.A. who had never got caught by the Carrows for rebelling.
However, attractive, clever, brave, and all around wonderful as this woman undoubtedly was, thought James as he stared at her, maybe Draco Malfoy couldn't take reforming anymore, and ran out on his family as a result. She could probably use a man to help her around the house. James could not help but think to himself. It must be difficult, her son being away from her most of the year, leaving her all alone. And now that he's with her again, she's going to have to raise him by herself.
"James?" Astoria was saying now. "Please come this way, dear." He blinked. He had been so lost in thought that he had not even noticed Scorpius and Astoria starting to walk on without him. "Oh, right." His stomach did a flip flop once he registered that she had called him "dear."
As the trio made their way out of King's Cross, they eventually reached a yellow Bentley which Astoria helped the boys load their luggage into. They all climbed in. James, sure to sit next to Astoria, climbed into the passenger seat.
"James dear, don't you want to sit in the back with Scorpius?" Astoria asked.
"Yeah James," Scorpius chimed in. "Why do you get to sit in the front seat?"
"Well, there are only two front seats Scorpius," James explained. "And one of us has to drive, and I'm pretty sure your mum is the only one here with a license."
"Actually, I don't mean to frighten anybody, but I don't actually have a license," Astoria conceded.
"Mum!" Scorpius exclaimed. "Isn't that illegal?"
"Yeah, probably," Astoria mumbled. "But under the circumstances, being as your father isn't here…" She trailed off.
James placed a comforting hand on Astoria's arm. "It's okay, Mrs. Malfoy, I understand. You just drive the best you can; we won't judge you for not having a license. I swear I won't tell anyone given the circumstances, and I'm sure you'll do fine."
Scorpius and Astoria both stared at James strangley for a moment, before Astoria broke the silence. "Er, thank you James. " Then she beamed with confidence. "No need to fear, I've observed Scorpius's father behind the wheel, as well as other people before, how difficult can it be?"
(Line)
One hour later, the three got out of the scratched car in front of a small white manor, the boys feeling shaken, while Astoria felt exhilarated.
"That was bloody brilliant!" She exclaimed.
"Bloody brilliant!" Scorpius repeated sarcastically. "Yeah, running 5 red lights, missing ten stop signs, speeding, and almost crashing into another car was of course bloody brilliant!"
"Hey, for my first time behind the wheel, that actually was pretty impressive." Astoria informed him as she slammed the car door shut, causing the windows to break in half, resulting in glass shattering and hitting the ground.
"No need to worry, I can fix this," Astoria assured the two shaken teenage boys, pulling out her wand and pointing it at the car."Reparo." The car was fixed, good as new. One could never have guessed it had just been through the hell that was Astoria's driving and back.
"Now, Scorpius honey, why don't you show James around the house while I go make dinner." Astoria told her son who nodded.
"Okay Mum," He obliged as Astoria Summoned their luggage out of the car.
The Malfoy House was different than the Malfoy Manor that James's father had described to him. Malfoy Manor had iron gates and white peacocks in the front. It was a cold, gloomy place, according to his father. Draco Malfoy had moved out of Malfoy Manor when he married Astoria, and the two had chosen a place to live in that was nothing like Malfoy Manor. Scorpius's home was a large white house that received lots of sunlight, and even had a pool in the backyard. Scorpius showed James where he'd be sleeping: In one of the guest bedrooms that gave James a perfect view of the pool in the backyard.
James tossed his luggage on the bed and went down to the kitchen where Astoria was slicing some carrots.
"Need any help with that, Mrs. Malfoy?" James asked in the deepest most mature voice he could muster, stepping out of the shadows coolly.
"Oh, James!" Astoria actually jumped, startled. "I'm perfectly fine, thank you."
Astoria was about to pick up her knife and go back to slicing carrots when James strode over to where she was, saying, "Now Mrs. Malfoy, if you're going to all of this trouble of making food for us, I might as well help." He winked at her, taking the knife she had laid on the counter, and proceeded to start chopping the carrots with vigor, having zero cooking experience.
"No! James!" Astoria exclaimed worriedly. "Stop! You can't cut so roughly or else you'll-"
Astoria's warning was cut short by James's screaming. He had managed to cut his finger due to not paying attention to what he was doing. Blood was spurting from it. Astoria nonverbally Summoned some Essence of Dittany with her wand and washed James's cut under the sink before applying some on. James tried to be manly and smooth about it, but wound up practically bawling his eyes out.
"What's going on?" Scorpius had come downstairs, having heard James's screaming.
"It's all right now dear," Astoria said to both boys, before turning to Scorpius and explaining," James just tried to help me with dinner. He had good intentions, but wound up cutting himself with the knife by mistake." Astoria finished tying a bandage onto James finger.
"All right now James dear, no need to worry. You won't need to go to the hospital or anything like that. How about you go run along and play with Scorpius?" Astoria suggested kindly.
James felt his blood boil. Run along and play? She was treating him like a little kid! He was fourteen; he was totally all grown up now! But if she was going to treat him like a kid, maybe he could use it to his advantage.
"Mrs. Malfoy, could you please kiss my finger and make it better?" He gave her a smile that had charmed countless witches, coupled with puppy dog eyes. It was a look he used whenever he wanted something, and it almost always worked.
"I think you'll be fine James." Astoria replied not unkindly. James felt his heart sink, when-
"You can call me Astoria if you like, James." Astoria added as he was about to leave. He felt his heart jump in his chest as he and Scorpius left the room.
(Line)
Half an hour later, dinner was ready and the three inhabitants of Malfoy House ate in the dining room that evening. Scorpius and James talked to Astoria about school for a while. James frequently complimented Astoria on her cooking, which turned out to be much better than her driving, thankfully. About halfway through dinner, James enquired," Astoria-" He was definitely going to call her by her first name-" what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a teacher at a local elementary school for witches and wizards." Astoria answered. Many witches and wizards nowadays went to public elementary schools before beginning their magical education where they learned how to read, write, do arithmetic, and other basic but necessary skills they should know before learning magic. They learned, for the most part, everything a typical elementary schooled child would learn.
Ah, James mused, she must need a job to support herself and Scorpius, now that her husband's gone.
During dessert, James questioned Astoria about her time at Hogwarts, which turned out to be very interesting indeed. Astoria regaled Scorpius and James with tales from her school days, both boys hanging onto her every word. Apparently Hufflepuffs lived much more fascinating lives than one might think at first glance.
(Line)
The next day James and Scorpius, after breakfast, changed into their swim trunks and ran into the pool. Astoria came out minutes later, wearing a red one piece. It was a shame she had got Sorted into Hufflepuff, James thought, when she looked so good in red. Astoria dived into the pool. Gryffindor colors would have looked fabulous on her. Once she resurfaced, James called, "Astoria!"
"Yes?" Astoria turned in James's direction.
"Red looks beautiful on you," He gave her the smile he had the day before and winked at her.
"Er, thank you, James." Astoria smiled politely.
Scorpius looked at his best friend strangely. He knew his mother was a charming, kind hearted woman, and it was understandable for his friend to like her, but he was certainly paying her a lot of attention since he had first saw her…
The rest of the morning James kept showing off whenever Astoria was around. He was uninterested in the games Scorpius wanted to play with him, having eyes only for Astoria. Lunch time rolled around, and the three ate on the porch.
A while after lunch, James was on the diving board, when he looked at Astoria reapplying sun block, and accidentally lost his footing and fell in the water sideways. Astoria rushed over to check on James, who had resurfaced and was flailing his arms around wildly. Astoria helped him out of the water, making sure he was oaky, which he was, his pride being the only thing hurt.
(Line)
James had just finished looking at some photographs of Astoria from when she was younger with her and Scorpius, concluding that the Sorting Hat had not made a mistake, contrary to his thought earlier; it was evident even in grey scale Wizarding photographs that yellow was a fabulous color on Astoria.
Astoria had been, from an outsider's point of view, a model student: She was a prefect, and maintained high marks in all of her classes. However, even Astoria occasionally broke the rules from time to time, whether it be sneaking off with Dumbledore's Army at night to rebel against the Carrows, or, as she was telling them now, sneaking off to the kitchens to party with the house elves. Astoria was in the middle of telling them about one particular instance of when she was taking food from the kitchens for a midnight snack when the doorbell rang.
Astoria left the room to answer it. Once she left, Scorpius turned to James and asked," Okay James, I need to know, why do you keep staring at my mum? And why are you acting so weird around her?"
James thought a moment before answering."Well Scorp, if I tell you you probably wouldn't understand, but women have… needs, and since your dad walked out your mum could really use a man like me."
Scorpius gaped at him. "What in hell are you-"
"DRACO!" A loud shriek interrupted Scorpius and both boys ran down stairs to find Astoria snogging passionately with a platinum blonde haired man.
"DADDY!" Scorpius yelled and ran over to hug his father, who had stopped kissing his wife to hug his son.
James was in shock. Mr. Malfoy's been back after abandoning his family all this time… and they're not mad at him! That git, he left them to fend for themselves, but I suppose that he must have missed them so much that he came back. He better not leave again…
"Oh, who's this?" Mr. Malfoy asked, noticing James.
James drew out his wand, even though he wasn't supposed to use magic outside of school, and answered, "The name's James Sirius Potter, but that's not important at the moment. Why did you run out on your wonderful family, you brainless git? You better be back for good or so help me I will send you to Hell and back, you ba-"
"James!" Astoria scolded, seriously looking angry for some reason. "What has gotten into you?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Draco demanded. "I never "ran out" on my family. Why would I ever do that?" He then proceeded to kiss both his son and wife on their foreheads.
"Uh…" James was at a loss for words.
"James, did you honestly think my husband left us?"Astoria broke the silence.
"Maybe," he mumbled.
Scorpius looked horrified. Turning to his father, he gasped. "Daddy, are you leaving us? PLEASE DON'T GO!" And with that being said- or rather, screamed- Scorpius fell to the floor, clutching Draco's legs so that he couldn't move.
"No, I'm not son." Draco sighed. "Now would you please let go of my legs."
Scorpius obeyed, but James was confused. "But what about Astoria driving the car, her job as a teacher, you being gone for weeks-"
"James, Draco was on a business trip," Astoria explained. "That's why he was absent when you arrived here and I had to drive. As for my career, I've been teaching since before Draco and I even got married, and I certainly wasn't going to stop doing what I loved just because I of something like that." She huffed indignantly. "Now would you please apologize to my husband?"
"Sorry Mr. Malfoy," James apologized half heartedly. He actually felt a little disappointed that he was wrong. Astoria broke the awkward silence by busting up laughing.
"This is too much," she laughed. "Oh James, you honestly thought that? Sorry, I know I shouldn't be laughing, but that truly is amusing. "James wasn't even offended by her laugh. It was unladylike, like a thousand dishes breaking all at once. Yet there was something so sweet about it. Something so carefree and innocent.
"Shouldn't you boys be getting to bed?" Draco commented once Astoria's giggles had subsided.
James nodded and walked over to Astoria, and kissed her hand. "Good night, Astoria." Astoria blushed and Draco narrowed his gray eyes at James, who left the room smugly, along with a very confused looking Scorpius.
(Line)
When James came downstairs the next morning, he was surprised to find Draco in the kitchen, waving his wand over the stove, cooking using magic.
"Mr. Malfoy, you can cook?" James gaped without so much of a good morning.
"Yes, unlike you," Draco smirked, as he flipped some pancakes over on the pan using magic.
"Oh, did Astoria tell you about that?" James asked, ears turning pink.
Draco nodded. "Yes, it was a very amusing story." James glowered at him as Draco added, "You really need to be more careful in the kitchen, James."
"Did Astoria tell you I was made a prefect this year?" James lied, trying to get back at Malfoy.
"No she didn't," Said Malfoy, trademark smirk still on his face," Because you're starting your fourth year in September, and students can't become prefects until fifth year." James cursed silently, caught in his lie.
"I actually was a prefect you know," Draco commented lazily.
"I bet you abused your privileges," James accused.
"I did," Draco admitted. "And on the off chance you ever become a prefect, I hope you never do the same."
"Did Astoria ever abuse her privileges?" James enquired curiously.
"No," Draco answered. "And she always yelled at me for abusing my power."He chuckled fondly at the memories. Astoria and Scorpius walked in at the moment, and Draco served the now cooked pancakes to everyone.
James watched Draco all through breakfast. Draco was clearly flirting shamelessly with Astoria in front of his son and his son's best friend. Well, two could play at this game.
"That's a lovely outfit you have on, Astoria," James complimented her.
"Thank you, James," Astoria smiled.
"Darling, let me get that for you," Draco offered once Astoria finished eating, motioning towards Astoria's plate.
"Oh that's fine Draco. I was planning on doing the dishes so you could spend a little time with the boys." Astoria protested.
"No, it isn't," Draco said suddenly very serious. "What kind of man would I be if I let those pretty hands touch dish water?"
Astoria giggled before James pointed out," But Mr. Malfoy- may I call you Draco?" James asked with false sweetness.
"No," Draco replied.
"Draco, "James continued, ignoring his remark a moment ago." If your wife did the dishes, she could always use magic and never once have to touch the soapy water. Didn't you think of that?"
An awkward silence fell in the kitchen as Draco gave James a 'shut up kid', sort of glare before Astoria decided," I'll just do the dishes then, if there are no objections."
"I'll help you, Astoria," James volunteered.
"Now James, I don't know if that's a good idea," Draco interjected in a tone of false concern."We wouldn't want to risk you having another accident in the kitchen, would we? Why don't you and Scorpius run along and play now?"
James reluctantly left the room with Scorpius to play Quiddich in the backyard. They had a fun game, and James enjoyed himself. Eventually they went inside for lunch. During lunch, it was the same story: Draco would flirt shamelessly with Astoria, and James would do the same, as if it were a battle to see who could get more compliments in. Meanwhile Scorpius just watched on in confusion. This was more or less what happened all day. Both males would compete for the sole female's attention in whatever ways they could, from complimenting her to finding ways to spend time with her.
As James went to bed that night, he realized that he needed some other method of winning Scorpius's mum's affection. He had a plan…
The next day the quartet was standing by the pool applying sunscreen. Draco was shirtless and wearing a pair of emerald green swimming trunks while Astoria wore a light blue one piece that brought out her eyes. Astoria was applying some on Draco's back for him, and James felt some slight jealousy. "Astoria! I need help getting some on my back too!" he called.
"Scorpius, be a dear and help James." Astoria told her son. Draco gave James a smug look as Astoria rubbed sun tan lotion on him while Scorpius helped James.
Line
Scorpius and James were playing in the pool. The boys were now racing each other to see who could reach the deep end the fastest. James looked from where he was as he swam to where Draco and Astoria were. The two had already gone in the water before, and were out for a break. James noted with horror that Draco had his arms around Astoria, who was sitting in his lap, and was about to pull her in for a kiss when-
"Help! I'm drowning!" James yelled and Draco and Astoria ran over to him. He closed his eyes as he pretended to sink towards the bottom. The next thing James knew he felt a pair of arms wrap around him and he pressed his head against his savior's waist, eyes still shut. James was tossed out of the water onto the surface and felt hands press against his chest, feeling for a pulse. Please say I need mouth to mouth; please say I need mouth to mouth…
"He needs mouth to mouth!" Scorpius's voice called. Wait, Scorpius…? James opened his eyes a crack to find Scorpius leaning over him, ready to give him CPR.
"Ah!" James screamed and sat bolt upright. "I'm okay, I'm okay!"
"I told you," James thought he heard Draco mutter into Astoria's ear.
He groaned.
"James, were you faking that?" Scorpius asked.
James did not answer, but it was very obvious as to what the answer was. Astoria shook her head and went in the house. James almost could have sworn he had imagined it, but Draco had a very triumphant look on his face as he went in the house after her.
Line
Astoria was polite but cool towards James during dinner that evening. Draco seemed to be in an especially good mood that evening. Tomorrow would be James's last day at the Malfoys. After dinner, James found Draco and Scorpius talking to each other in the library.
"Dad, there's something I'm confused about." Scorpius was saying.
"What is it son?" Draco looked up from the book he was reading.
"Why did James pretend to drown today?" Scorpius wondered. "And why have you two been acting so strange around Mum?"
"Well son," Draco thought carefully before he spoke." Sometimes boys your age… develop feelings of attraction towards older women-"
"Huh?" Scorpius blinked in confusion.
Draco went on," And sometimes if those women are married, and far too old for those boys anyway, their husbands… develop feelings of contempt towards those shameless idiotic devils as they attempt to humiliate the husband and woo their wives. "
James shrugged from where he was. I've been called worse…
"Huh?" Scorpius repeated.
"Never you mind son, and Potter you can come out now." Draco called and James reluctantly stepped out from behind the bookshelves he had been hiding behind. Scorpius gasped. "James, you've been hiding there the whole time?"
"Well, duh." James answered.
"Don't duh, my son, James." Draco reprimanded him.
"He does that all the time at school dad," Scorpius enlightened him."It's not a big deal though, sometimes I need it. A couple of weeks ago I went into the girls' bathroom by mistake, and I didn't even realize I had been in there until James told me."
"Well… I hope you learned your lesson from that experience, didn't you son?" Draco said after a moment's pause.
"Yes Dad," Scorpius grinned proudly.
"Good boy," Draco patted his head lightly. "Now, why don't you go have a snack?"
Scorpius clapped his hands together eagerly, barked-actually barked- and ran out of the room.
"I apologize for reprimanding you earlier Potter," Draco apologized. "I do worry about that boy sometimes…"
"He seems to know an awful lot about the law," James remarked. "You wouldn't believe how many mistakes he was able to spot in Astoria's driving."
"Speaking of Astoria," Draco interjected. "I would appreciate it if you were to remember that she is more than twice your age and already happily married to me."
"Oh, it's on Malfoy," James pointed to of his fingers to his eyes and then back at Malfoy. "And it's going to end very soon." Malfoy sighed in exasperation. "Listen to what I'm saying. Astoria and I are very much in love, and while I understand that it is normal for you to be attracted to her, you need to know that you cannot pull another shenanigan like you did today. Are we clear?"
"Yes Mr. Malfoy," James responded, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"Good," Draco replied and went back to reading.
Line
The next day, James presented Astoria a homemade card.
"Oh James, this is lovely!" Astoria gushed once she saw the card. All from the day before was forgiven and James had a wonderful day at the Malfoys'. The next day he had to go home. His parents picked him up, arriving at the front of the house. Astoria hugged him before he left. James felt his heart flutter in his chest as he bade his last goodbyes. Once he was gone, Scorpius commented to his dad, "Dad, you know how you were explaining James's behavior to me earlier but I didn't understand?"
"Yes.." Draco wondered where his son was going with this.
"Well, I think I understand now." Scorpius commented as he observed James's mother walking with James in the distance.
A/N: For those interested, I may or may not make a prequel to this about Draco and Astoria in Hogwarts. Please review! :)