Here is a little one-shot that I came up with after this week's episode. THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR 'GOOD COP, BAD COP' SO BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The scene that really kinda inspired me was when Ducky cornered Ziva in autopsy and made her tell him what happened aboard the ship. During the conversation, Ziva said, "You should keep your distance, Ducky. The ones who get too close always end up dead." I thought that was a very powerful line. To me it shows that Ziva is afraid of falling in love because of the past events. That is why she is avoiding Tony.
So, I wrote this. Hope you enjoy it. Please tell me what you think……
I do not own any of the characters or NCIS stuff, or else I would be rich and not have to think about all the college loan debts I have building up!
Tony stood in front of a strange apartment door, ready to run if he had the wrong apartment. When the door opened and Ziva's head appeared, he let out a sigh, "Good, I wasn't sure if I had the right address."
"How did you find me?" Ziva asked, surprised to find her NCIS partner standing there outside her new apartment.
"Abby let it slip that you found an apartment, and I did a bit of investigating and found the address," Tony shrugged as if it was nothing unusual. "I was in the area, so I figured I would drop by with a housewarming gift," he explained, holding up a bag of Thai food and a rental DVD he picked up.
"Tony, I appreciate it, but I have had a busy day," Ziva said, trying to come up with an excuse.
"Which is exactly why you need a nice relaxing evening with a friend and the original Ocean's Eleven. Tony said, knowing what Ziva was trying to do. The truth was Tony had not been in the area, in fact, only forty-five minutes ago he'd been lounging on his couch on the other side of town. "Come on, Zee-vah. At least once for old time's sake," he almost begged.
Realizing that Tony would not take no for an answer, Ziva relented and opened the door wider for Tony to walk inside.
"Nice apartment," Tony said, taking in the view he had from where he stood. It was smaller than the last two apartments that Ziva had, but it had a cozy feeling to it. For some reason, the atmosphere in the place just seemed like Ziva. He could not figure out why though.
"I thought so," Ziva said, not moving from her spot by the door.
"Where do you want to eat?" Tony asked, looking around.
"Over here is fine," Ziva answered, gesturing towards the living room coffee table. "I will get drinks. I am sure you can figure out the television," she said, heading towards the little kitchen just on the other side of the wall the couch sat against.
"How's it feel to be a probie?" Tony asked as the two settled down on the couch, each on their respective sides, plenty of room between the two.
"It has only been a day, Tony," Ziva pointed out. "I do not think there will be a big difference."
"Just wait," Tony said, flashing his infamous DiNozzo grin her way.
The two settled down and turned their attention to the movie. Ziva did not want to admit it to Tony, but she had missed these relaxing nights. When Gibbs was in Mexico, the two would meet at each other's apartment once a week to eat and watch a movie. Tony declared it the easiest way for Ziva to further assimilate into the American culture, but she enjoyed the company more than the actual movies.
Tony stretched out the couch a couple hours later as the credits rolled along the screen. "That movie gets better every time I see it," he exclaimed.
"Why do you enjoy movies so much?" Ziva wondered aloud.
"It's the second greatest American past time," Tony shrugged. The two locked eyes and for a moment neither said anything, yet their eyes seemed to say everything. "How are you doing, Zee-vah?" he asked genuinely concerned.
"Better every day," she replied, curling her feet under her, hugging her knees to her chest.
"Are we good?" he asked, studying her face.
"We are slowly getting there," Ziva said after a slight pause.
"What's holding you back?" Tony asked, noticing the hesitation in her voice.
"I am readjusting, Tony. It is going to take time," Ziva defended, really not wanting to get into the conversation she knew they were heading for.
"Bull," Tony stated simply. "Things are normal between you and everyone but me," he pointed out. "We need to finish our conversation."
"I do not think that now is a good time," Ziva said, looking down at the couch between the two.
"When then?" Tony asked. "There will never be a good time. It's time for us to face it," he told her.
"Okay," Ziva said after a moment.
"Why didn't you trust me?" Tony asked, remembering what she had said in the men's room.
"I could not allow myself to trust you," Ziva explained. "Everyone I trusted used that trust against me, and I could not afford that happening with you."
"Whatever happened in Africa changed you didn't it?" Tony asked concern evident in his eyes.
"People change all the time, Tony," Ziva said, avoiding the real question.
"Dammit, Ziva, when are you going to stop hiding behind your walls?" Tony exclaimed frustratedly.
"When I no longer feel that I have to," Ziva yelled back. "My whole life I have had to be strong and act as if nothing affects me. It is not easy to change how you were raised."
"Yes it is," Tony shot back. "You have control over how you live your life. Nothing your father does can stop you from living your life the way you want," he rattled off. "I'm the disgrace of my father, but I don't care. I'm happy with most of the things that have happened in my life."
"You are happy with the fact that you have slept with hundreds of women, yet can't commit to a serious relationship? The only one you've ever had was when you were undercover."
Tony was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right thing to say, "I've never met anyone that I wanted to have a serious relationship with," he began slowly. "Jeanne and I were serious, because I was forced into the situation. It was the first time I ever realized that there could be more than just sex and a good time in a relationship. I realized that I want something more. I just have to find the right woman," he explained.
"I do not think that is possible," Ziva let out a sarcastic laugh. "You and I are alike in that aspect."
"We know my excuse, but what's yours?" Tony asked, lifting an eyebrow at Ziva.
"Because, the ones who get too close always end up dead," she said quietly, staring off into space. Those words struck at Tony's heart more than he expected. He suddenly saw Ziva in a different light. He then realized why she had been distant with him all this time.
"You are afraid we were getting to close," Tony thought out loud. "You care about me to the point that you are willing to sacrifice the way you feel in order to protect me?" Tony asked, making sure he understood it correctly. Ziva did not answer, but Tony knew by looking in her eyes. "Zee-vah, you don't have to protect me," he whispered, reaching out and taking her hand in his. "This isn't Israel, Mossad, or Saleem's camp. None of that is an issue anymore. Let go," he urged.
"And what if you decide that I am not enough?" Ziva asked, searching his eyes. "What if you decide that you would rather have some bambi half my age?"
"Bimbo," Tony corrected automatically. "If I wanted anyone but you, then I wouldn't have been waiting around trying to get the courage up to tell you how I felt. Then all hell broke loose and I never got the chance," he admitted. "When we thought you were dead, that was the worst week of my life. All I could think about was all the stuff I never got to say to you."
"I've been back for over a month, Tony. You have not said anything yet," Ziva pointed out.
"I wanted to, heaven knows I have," Tony sighed. "But, my top priority was making sure you were back to normal. I never knew exactly what they did to you in the months you were held hostage, but I could tell you went through the ringer. All I cared about was making sure you were okay. If it took you being mad at me, then so be it."
"Why?" Ziva asked, rare tears forming in her eyes. "After everything I did to you over the past few years, why do you still care?" she whispered, her voice raspy from the tears that threatened to pool over.
"Because that's what partners do, and I love you," Tony replied simply, reaching over to run his hand over her cheek softly. "I've loved you for so long; I just never let myself admit it. It took losing you for me to finally realize how much I loved you."
Ziva felt the tears fall down her face finally, and leaned into Tony's cupped hand as she put her hand over his. "Give me time," she whispered her eyes closed. "I care for you more than I could ever dream of caring for someone, but I cannot sit here tonight and say I love you. Even though I want to with all of my heart, I promise," she said, opening her eyes to look at him. "I just need time to settle in."
"Fine. Anything you need," Tony agreed. "I'm not leaving you though," he added. "No matter what may happen, I'll be here by your side every step of the way like I should have been a long time ago," he promised, scooting closer towards the center of the couch, closer to her. "I lost you once, and I'll never do that again," he said, leaning closer and gingerly kissing Ziva's lips. It wasn't a passionate one like their undercover fake kiss had been; it was slow and full of promise. Breaking the kiss, Tony leaned his forehead against Ziva's, "I'll always be here for you, all you have to do is ask," he whispered.
Sliding her arms around Tony's torso, Ziva laid her head in the crock of his neck and took in the scent she had only dreamt of the past six months. Ziva could not help but let out a sigh when she felt Tony slowly caress her back as he held her against him. For the first time in a very long time she felt truly safe. In his arms, Ziva felt the world disappear. It was only the two of them, and she knew at that moment that she would persevere. She would get through the hurdles that blocked her way to normalcy.