Hope
1
I don't own Naruto.
"Hope is never silent."
-Harvey Milk
"Tsunade-sama!" Shouted a medic-nin. The said woman turned from where she was standing and became panicked when she saw a group of her staff booking it down the hallway to her in frenzy, all the while carting a gurney between them. She went into doctor mode and took the clipboard, when they neared her, with the patients medical information on it. The name caused her to stop and she whirled with a shocked look on her face.
She gasped. "When did Team Kakashi get back?!" She ordered, looking over the man lying in front of her. He was in bad, BAD shape. His face wasn't recognizable; completely swollen beyond recognition. There was blood and wounds covering him everywhere-most notably from his ears and his eyes. From what she saw before her, she knew there were even deeper wounds-mental wounds. She swallowed and ran along side of the gurney towards the operating room.
"Just now my lady! We received word to meet them at the gates for immediate medical care." Answered one of the medic staff. "Haruno-san is also wounded terribly and is just behind us with Kakashi-sama."
Tsunade swore. She practically ripped off the swinging doors to the operating room, pushing the gurney to the surgery table in the middle. They all chanted to three, lifting the stilled and battered body of the man onto it. She didn't bother with gloves or a mask and began cutting off his clothes.
"You! Hand me some anti-septic and gauze!" She shouted to someone beside her. They rushed and did as such. She tore of the remaining of his shirt and gasped.
"My lady?" Someone asked, when she paused. She almost couldn't believe the sight before her.
"His seals. They're gone." She said, almost to herself. Everyone paused and turned to take a glance at the belly of their fellow shinobi. Indeed-the usual markings of the Kyuubi's seal was no longer present. It was as if it had never existed. She took in a shuddering breath and proceeding to place her hands in position where the seal once was. The room fell silent as her searching hands glowed with chakra. She swallowed and felt-felt for any presence of the Kyuubi. She felt nothing.
"Lady Tsunade?" Someone in front of her asked. She pulled her hands away and let them fall to her sides. She looked up at the people surrounding her and spoke in almost a whisper.
"The Kyuubi...has been extracted from this boy." The room filled with gasps and murmurs. Tsunade ordered them to continue their work, before stepping back a moment to take it all in.
'How are you even alive Naruto? A jinchuuriki doesn't survive something like this-ever.' She pondered. 'The Akatsuki no longer exists, so who has this much power to do this?' She didn't like the odds of what she was thinking.
2 weeks earlier...
Sakura launched herself up from the bed. She was panting and her mouth was parted probably from a scream that she'd emitted before waking. She panted and hugged her legs to her chest. She couldn't stop the dream. The same dream…over and over. A continual dream she had every so often of a doom she couldn't explain. She couldn't see faces, she only felt. The strong emotions of sadness and anger and devastation. She didn't know what any of it meant. She was afraid to think it was premonition to something horrific. She shook her head. She was sweating and shaking. She was so cold, even though it was the hottest summer Konohagakure had experienced in years. Normally she'd have her air running by this time but her landlord has neglected to even consider getting around to the fixing the damned a/c machine. She should move out. She had more than enough money to put a down payment on a house. She lifted her head up and glanced at the curtain of her window. Not even a slight breeze to help take away some of the humidity existed. She pulled her sheet off her legs and climbed from the bed. She held her arms around herself, with little hope that it'll give her an ounce of warmth, and wandered to the window.
The city was dark except for a few taverns and shops, still open, lighting the streets. Not a soul was around save for a few chakra spikes she got from Shinobi running and jumping from roof tops, either finished with their missions or out for a late night drink; ready to head home for a much needed nights sleep. She missed being able to go out at night with friends and be able to chat up how their lives were. It's not like she didn't want to, she was just so overloaded working with Tsunade and her hours at the hospital as of late. Every so often she would run into Kakashi and have a quick tea break with him—correction—she would drink tea and he would listen to her ramblings. Damn him and that mask of his. She'd known him for a good 12 years and not once did he show himself from beneath that mask! Of all the times she'd seen him getting gurneyed into the hospital, she'd never treated him. That was left to Tsunade. Oh well. Water off a duck's back. But…what she really missed was her Team.
Team 7. Considered to be one of the best groups of Shinobi put on a team, and not only that but with an incomparable Jounin for a teacher. At least that's what would have been said, if they'd actually made it to adulthood and staying together. She heard the whispers; the strongest team. The failure team. The failed Teacher. She shook her head. She was having one of her down days. Normally she was pretty chipper but some day's, spread far and thin in between, she would have a doom and gloom day and didn't have the energy to leave her home even. Tsunade told her it was completely normal to have those kinds of days. Heck even she had them but she didn't have a choice but to work through them because she was Hokage. People needed her. Depended on her. The same was for Sakura. She new she would be better in the morning-but right now, as she climbed out of the window and pumped chakra into her arms, climbing and sitting on the roof, she felt was the best thing to do to mull over how her life was.
She laid back and watched the Milky Way span itself dreamily over the entire night sky, almost as if it was leading her somewhere. She sighed and laced her fingers behind her head. The heat was finally warming her up. She glanced over at the Hokage monument, the faces carved there looking eerie in the dark of night. She wondered what tomorrow would bring. Another day filled with healing wounds, treating sore throats, and possibly even resuscitating someone back to life. It brought herself into perspective at how fragile life really was. One moment, one little moment could change someone's life. In a split second someone's life could be over and she may not be able to save him or her. That scared the shit out of her. She'd learned from Tsunade that they couldn't play God. Shinobi came and shinobi went. They would do their damn hardest to try and save everyone but not everyone could be saved. She'd learned that year's ago when a Jounin came in with lacerations and a perforated artery. She and Tsunade had worked late into the early morning hours to try and stabilize him. She'd even gone as far as sticking her fingers into his neck wound to try and get at the artery to suture it. She'd succeeded momentarily, suturing the artery ends together with her chakra, with Tsunade complimenting her, when the artery didn't hold and practically exploded, spraying blood on the both of them. That was the first time she'd cried herself to sleep over someone's death. She'd felt it was her fault. They did everything in their power and she never understood why, even, Tsunade's chakra wasn't enough to save him. That's when Tsunade told her that it was out of their control. They couldn't control how someone died or how someone lived. It was natural selection. At first she was angry. And then sad. Depressed. And then angry again. Before one day she woke up and completely understood what Tsunade had meant. She'd been there. It was almost the same as the time she tried to get Sasuke to stay that night he was leaving. She couldn't make him stay…no matter how much she pleaded for him to stay. She couldn't. That was his decision and she didn't have any part in making the decision for him to say. Even for her. She was bitter but that had gone when she'd learned to forgive herself. To clean her heart of him. Or at least the feelings she'd once held for him. Sure, she wondered where he was or what he was doing. Half the time she didn't want to think about him and other half wanted to run and find him and bring him home. She couldn't do that.
A small noise next to her caused her to glance over and she spotted a familiar figure standing at the end of her rooftop.
"Couldn't sleep either?" His voice sounded loud among the quiet of the night. It challenged the sound of the crickets it was so loud and yet she knew it wasn't. She sat and stretched her legs out before her shaking her head.
"Too hot." She said, running a hand through her hair. She watched him take out something from his many vest pockets and lit a cigarette, lighting up his face.
"Shikamaru. You know those are really bad for you." She said, trying to sound serious.
He glanced over at her, exhaling a plume of smoke, before wandering over and sitting next to her. He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees.
"Pretty sure that's the thousandth time you've told me that." He drawled, with a hint of a smirk. "And pretty sure I've seen you smoke a few in your time, Miss Medic-nin."
Sakura scoffed waving him off. "I don't know what you're talking about." She grinned and watched him take another drag off it. It almost made her salivate. She'd taken up the habit briefly after starting at hospital and it had been the only thing that could relax her for a while. That was before Tsunade found her and smacked it out of her hand, effectively bruising her hand and lecturing her to the end of time at how horrible it was. Pretty sure Sakura had mentioned something about her drinking sake all the time, and that didn't go over well. Sakura was pretty sure Tsunade had been more pissed because it was Sakura doing it. Her shishou had mentioned more than once how Sakura was like a daughter to her. She'd quit that day. Probably for the best. She didn't need a damaging crutch like that to hold her down. She was a Jounin now. She had her future set and on a good path. She looked over at the man next to her and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"How are you?" She asked. She felt him pat her on the head, taking another drag.
"I'm ok. Life is slow. Just how I like it." He answered. She wrapped her arm around his and hugged it. She really enjoyed sitting around with Shikamaru. What an odd pair of friends they were. Honestly, Sakura didn't even know when their friendship had even started. One day they were just acquaintances, only really knowing each other briefly from word of mouth and through Ino and Chouji and then suddenly after a hefty death defying mission in which they had to depend on each other heavily, they'd struck a friendship. Shikamaru was easygoing and took life as it was. Nothing seemed to weigh heavily on him, even though she knew some things did. Whenever she was stressed he would somehow appear from nowhere and be able to chill her out. They'd gotten close. She was closer to him than she was with Ino now. He didn't judge her and didn't tell her what to do. Everyone needed a friend like Shikamaru.
"Naruto back yet?" He asked, before flicking his finish cigarette and watching it fall to the street below. Sakura shook her head.
"He won't be back for a couple more days. He's never been gone this long before. It's too quiet without him." She sighed, letting go of his arm and standing and stretching.
"Tch. It was nice at first. All that quiet…" He smirked and laid back. "But you're right though. It's almost boring around here without his enthusiasm."
Sakura nodded in agreement. Life was good. Having Naruto still around here was something she looked forward to. Almost too much sometimes. She'd grown close to him too. As they got older, she'd seen him in a new light too. He'd lost his entire baby fat in his cheeks, which resulted in a well-structured face, a sharp jawline giving him a matured look. She couldn't remember him ever looking the way he does now—she still had the image of cute little Naruto stuck in her brain. Time crept up on them too quick to have her notice the changes.
"Sakura?" She turned and looked at her midnight companion. He was looking at her with a bored but alert look on his face.
"What?" She said, walking back over and sitting down next to him again. He sat up and reached an arm around her shoulders, surprising her at his sudden aloofness.
"Life is good." He said briefly. Sakura noticed a pause in his voice.
"But? I sense a but."
He smirked and looked down at her. "Life is good. We're peaceful here. But…I feel like something's coming."
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "Just a feeling. Not sure if it's a good or bad feeling. I'm not thinking too much about it."
Sakura stared at him a bit longer before she leaned into him. He usually shared with her when he had "gut-feelings". Usually it was nothing but something told her what he was feeling was real. She'd been feeling a weight in her gut for a while. Everyone had. Like they almost couldn't stand the peaceful time they were in. Like no one could believe that it was here to stay. Something was on the horizon, and she didn't know if it was good or bad, so she figured she'd take Shikamaru's way of life and take it as it came.
0
Sakura was just finishing the rest of her shift when a knock sounded on her office door.
"Come in." She said, putting medical reports into a manila folder and opening a filing cabinet and putting it under the correct name label. She turned towards the door when it opened and she grinned at the familiar person entering.
"Kakashi-senpai. No window this time?" She chuckled, glancing at said window. Her former sensei nodded giving her an amused crinkle of an eye. He still wore that damn mask. She shook her head and crossed her arms, her white doctor's coat pulling taut against her back.
"Not today Sakura-san, these old bones are feeling creaky." He said, closing the door and sitting down across from her desk. She scoffed.
"You're only 38. That's hardly old, you know." She sat down at her desk shutting her computer screen off and glancing at the clock. 15 minutes and she could go home.
"Old for a Shinobi." He retorted lightly. She smiled and nodded.
"What can I do for you, Senpai?" She asked, liking that he was visiting her like a normal person and not just jumping through a window randomly and scaring the crap out of her.
"Ah, well. Tsunade-sama sent me."
"Tsunade-shishou? Sent you? That's odd. Why didn't she just summon me like she usually does." She asked, sitting up and putting her elbows on the desk, looking at him.
"Well what I'm about to tell you, I'm sure she wanted it coming from me." He said, meeting her eye dead on. She felt her stomach drop and her face pale. She almost told him she didn't want to know. She didn't want to know. If it was coming from her old sensei it probably wasn't good.
She swallowed and prepared herself. "What is it, Kakashi?" Honorifics gone, she waited for the man to give her the worst.
"Sakura—now don't be too worried it's only a rumor—" He spoke quickly, almost to placate her, which was very un-Kakashi-like.
"Just tell me! I'm not a child." She snapped unintentionally. She hadn't meant to snap at him. He paused before nodding.
"I know you're not." He sat forward in the chair and rested his elbows on his knees lacing his fingers together. "We've received word from Kumo, that the team we sent out there for a border control mission has gone missing. They haven't been seen in weeks."
Sakura stilled. "But…the only team that's out there is—"
"—Naruto's. I know." He finished staring her dead in the eye. She couldn't get her brain to work properly. This had to be a mistake.
"What do you mean missing? There's no way Naruto would go missing. He's supposed to be back today. Maybe they're running late and didn't check in with the Raikage before they took off."
"Sakura." He spoke her name with such caution. She stopped and stared at him. "You know as well as I do, that Naruto is scary loyal to Konoha and its people. You're right he wouldn't just disappear, and we have to put trust in him that he and his comrades are okay. We were told that they went out for a quick check up on the borderlines before leaving and when two days passed Kumo hadn't heard a thing, and it's customary to check in before officially leaving for back home. No messenger birds. No letters, nothing, except a badly banged up Konoha shinobi from his group who practically dragged himself to the city gates. He died from blood loss before they could find out what happened."
Sakura could only stare at him. What was she supposed to think about this? She'd never had to think about a situation like this before. Never with a close friend. Never with Naruto. There had to be an explanation. She looked up at her friend and formed what she could for words.
"We have to go." She stated. Standing up and leaning her hands heavily against her desk, she could hear the cracks of the indentations she was putting into the wood. Kakahsi watched her, not having moved at all. What could she do? Naruto was her friend. They depended on each other. She couldn't just sit back and wait for word when nothing had been heard by anyone else. Kakashi stood up.
"Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you that she's ordered me to compile a team to head out on a reconnaissance with Kumo shinobi on the border. And she's also told me that you were to stay here."
"What!? That's bullshit—" She yelled. The death grip on her desk was almost enough to break right through it.
"—Sakura." He said, calmly. Almost too calm. He was so calm that it pissed her off.
"You know better than anyone else that I am fully capable of going on this mission. I'll be more than needed being a medic. You know this, Kakashi." She was angry.
Kakashi held his hand up as if trying to stop her. She seethed.
"Sakura. Naruto is also one the more important people in my life too. Tsunade-sama has stated that she wants you to stay because you, yourself, are too attached to your friendship with Naruto emotionally."
Sakura stared at him. She was breathing heavily through her nose. She could feel herself burning up from all the adrenaline. Too emotionally attached? Sure she was a great friend to Naruto, after Sasuke had left she leaned on that kid more than ever, but she wouldn't count it as emotionally attached.
"Basically, whatever happened out there, Tsunade-sama said that she didn't need a team with someone on it who's close to Naruto emotionally." Kakashi finished.
"I don't base my life on emotions Kakashi!" Ok, she had to admit that was a lie. Look at what she was doing now. She was overreacting. Wasn't she? She'd been too blinded by her anger to see how she was really acting. But…it's Naruto. What if she went out there and they came across a killing field? How would she react to what they found? Crying as a shinobi was considered weak among many in the ninja world. But she swore she would never let herself drop in humanity to not have emotions. If you didn't feel, you weren't alive, is what she thought. It was a weakness though. She was a crybaby once. She was weak. She'd always been dead last behind everyone in the Rookie 11 when it came to skill. Sure her chakra control was epic but back then she was only concerned about her love for her other teammate. Times have changed. She'd learned to keep her emotions in check when it came to death. She had too. She saw it in the hospital everyday. She continued to stare at Kakashi before releasing the desk from its agony. Turning towards the window overlooking a park she put a hand on her hip and ran a hand through her pink strands.
"When are you leaving?" She asked, calming herself by counting to twenty.
"As soon as I get my team together, we're heading out." He responded sounding as cool as ever.
She scoffed. "How are you able to be so calm about this?" She turned to look at him, leaning against the window.
He shrugged. "When you've seen what I've seen in my life, you almost feel like all you have left is to be calm."
She sighed and glanced out the window over her shoulder. She watched as some genin practiced out in the park on the jungle gym. She was that small once. Not a care in the world. Never knowing what real danger and loss is until you've been forced to come face to face with it.
"I'm going to talk to Tsunade-shishou." She stated, starting to take off her doctor's coat.
"Sakura—" He started, taking a step forward. She put her hand up to stop him.
"You can't stop me, Kakashi. All I can do it try to reason with her. I am more than able to be apart of this mission. I can keep my emotions in check if it means we can bring home our shinobi." She watched him relax and put his hands in his pants pockets. She expected him to say something. When he didn't, she opened the window and jumped out, heading towards the Hokage tower. Kakashi watched her leave, a rare emotion touching his face.
0
Sakura didn't even bother to knock; she just came to the Hokage's office door and went in. Surprisingly, Tsunade wasn't at her desk, nursing herself on sake. She was standing at one of the man windows adorning the room. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she was staring off out at the expanse of the city. Sakura stood there for a moment before moving into the room and closing the door behind her. She heard a sigh and Tsunade turned around towards her.
"I figured I'd be seeing you within the hour after telling Kakashi to find you." She stated, her face looking strained. Sakura noted that her teacher was probably trying to hold back herself from smashing something fierce out of the Hokage monument behind the building. Sakura gave a short bow out of respect before walking towards her mentor.
"You know, as much as I do that I have to go on this mission." She blurted out. She had to try and convince her sensei somehow. Someway. Tsunade 'tched' and shook her head.
"Sakura…no." She said, before heading back to sit behind her messy desk. The piles of paper work thrown askew across it.
"But Shishou! This is Naruto!" She yelled, moving to stand in front of her. Tsunade looked up at her.
"Sakura. We need you here. You're too much of a necessity here. If you didn't return we would have such a loss that there would be a long time to recover from it before we could be back to where we were with you."
"I am a Jounin, Tsunade-sama. I can't stay confined in this place when I have fallen comrades out there probably needing medical assistance. I have more than enough credits to go out there and-"
"-Sakura-"
"-and I'm great at what I do but I am more than a medic—"
"Sakura—"
"—I am Kunoichi. A damn good one. You know that. If you think for any reason, that just because Naruto is my friend that I'm going to be a crybaby the whole time, then you're wrong! I have seen blood and death and disease! I'm prepared to live the life that I signed up for!" She could feel her eyes burn with angry tears. No…not now. She couldn't cry now. She was trying to make a point. She couldn't believe that she was even speaking down to her Shishou—to the HOKAGE—but she didn't know what else to do. She was digging her nails into her palms so hard she was sure she was drawing blood. She watched her mentor stare at her with passive expression.
"I know what kind of Kunoichi you are Sakura. A damned good one, yes. My problem is that you are too emotionally deep with Naruto. Who knows what kind of shit they got themselves into? I need to send out an advanced team of shinobi tenured to what they're going into."
Sakura didn't understand. Maybe there wasn't anything-wrong Naruto and his group at all. How could her teacher and close friend NOT want her to go on this mission? She stared at her for a moment before coming to a realization.
"There's more to this isn't there?" She asked, letting her throbbing fingers relax. "They didn't just disappear, did they?"
Tsunade eyed her with a steely gaze. She gave up on the starting contest, looking away and out the window again.
"You're too smart for your own good, Sakura." Her mentor sat up, propping her elbows and resting her chin on her hands. "We've received intel from ANBU that they weren't just ambushed—there had been a bloody battle. A massacre. From what they found out near the border of Kumo was a mess. It was grisly. Body parts strewn everywhere—ripped from their respective person. What we don't know is how many were killed or who was killed. It's likely that Naruto escaped, as they didn't find…" She stopped there and Sakura filled in the blanks. They didn't find parts of Naruto. Sakura swallowed the lump that had been forming in her throat. She felt like she was going to be sick.
"Let me go, Shishou. I have to find him. If not for the Leaf Village, but for me. Please." She said, quietly. She was asking a lot. Any shinobi who came into the Hokage's office asking what she was asking would have been turned away immediately or thrown out of the windows. Tsunade stood up and moved around the ornate desk and stopped to stand in front of her. She raised her arms and drew Sakura into a rare hug. Sakura had to really fight back her tears now.
"If I let you go—" Sakura moved to look up at her "—I said IF! What are you going to do if you can't find him? Or find out the worst?"
Sakura moved back and steeled herself. She stared down at Tsunade's heeled feet before looking back up at her.
"I will search the ends of the earth to bring him home. Alive or not. I will be a shinobi and do my duty. If there is anything that I have that has to do with emotions—it's hope. I'll never stop hoping." She answered. It was all she had left to say. It was a plea to bring home her friend. Her family. Tsunade sighed and lifted a hand to put it on her mentee's head. She was trying to save her apprentice from seeing the kinds of things that she had seen in her day. She didn't want to expose the "could be's" to this young woman. But…she couldn't protect her forever. She had no right.
"Go," And that's all Sakura needed to hear before nodding and disappearing out the door.
Tsunade moved to the windows again and stared at her city. 'Sakura. Be careful. Don't let your kind and loyal heart take hold and get you killed. I love you too much for that to happen.'
0
After leaving Tsunade, Sakura made it to her apartment in record time. She'd changed and grabbed her pre-packed backpack from within her closet—she never knew when she would be called away on an urgent mission and didn't want to lollygag around packing this and that. This was one of those times. She tied her long hair up into a ponytail and strapped her hitae across her forehead. Not even bothering to shut lights off she bounded out the bedroom window and headed for the city gates. They always met there—at least Kakashi did with Team 7 when it was mission time. She hoped and prayed that they hadn't left yet. Running from rooftop to rooftop gave her a feel of nostalgia. She'd missed this. Why didn't she do this more? She pumped chakra into her feet and ran as fast as she could. The gates came into view and she saw a group of shinobi standing there—thank god— with Kakashi who was giving instructions. She made a giant leap off a building and landed on the ground, causing it to partially tremor, before running and skidding to a halt behind the group. They all turned towards her—a few familiar faces, including Kakashi's. He almost looked surprised. She was huffing and puffing but didn't say anything. She nodded to Kakashi for him to continue. He gave her a look she couldn't decipher before shaking his head looking back to his team. Sakura partially listened. They were heading to Kumo to meet a reconnaissance with the Raikage. They were to be swift and take out anyone wanting to get in their way. Sakura closed her eyes. 'Be alive Naruto.'
0
Author's Note:
Just so everyone knows, anyone who is dead in the anime and manga are going to be alive and well in this story. Because I said so. Makes things less sad I think lol at least for me. And the 'M' rating is there for a reason. I need practice my grisly fights and possibly lemons. If you're not into that, then baiiiii. Furthermore I've picked up watching Naruto again and I'm almost about to start Shippuden. So if anyone is afraid of spoilers don't be. I can't remember half of what I watched when I was younger so this is an adventure for me too.
Also I haven't decided if this is going to be Sakura/Naruto or a Sakura/Sasuke story. Who knows, it could maybe develop into a Sakura/Kakashi story. I still haven't decided. This could go any of those ways. I love all those pairings. I'm leaning towards a Naruto pairing because there just aren't enough out there. There has to be more because I love that little guy and there's too many openings for the both of them to find a way to fit love into their lives with each other.
AND this is my first Naruto fic. Ever. I've been so stuck on Inuyasha my entire fanfic life that I felt I needed a change and by golly I fell in love with Naruto again and fell in love with all the Naruto fics that are published on here. I'm not sure when I'll update. Depends on when I get chapters done and I can create a decent updating schedule.
Plus, reviews are great :D Constructive Criticism is wonderful but Flaming just isn't all that nice. If you don't like the story so far just exit out and move on. Opinions about pairings are great too. Let me know what you think about them.
Thanks guys :3