Summary: Alex Mercer's not so average, neither is his best friend. But when his friend leaves and Desmond comes along, Alex will either have to breakdown or shrug it off.
Warnings: Schizophrenia, anxiety, mental health issues in general, M/M.
Heeeey so I'm now into writing Protocreed fanfictions! I've been writing this for a while now, but it's still a work in progress. It's gonna be about 15,000 words long. Hopefully!
So yeah, enjoy and please take notice of the warnings!
Beep beep beep beep
Alex's hand smacked the alarm clock about forty times before he sighed irritably, allowing his arm to slip from the bedside table and hang from the bed, fingers brushing the soft carpet.
It was the same routine; wake up, rip himself from the comfort of his bed, shower if he had time and slouch on any clothes he could find. He looked over to the other bed on the far side of the room and walked over to it, grabbing a handful of the covers and ripping them off the sleeping form of his roommate, Jack.
"What the fuck?!" His roommate yelled, bolting up from his laying position. Alex grinned.
"Time to wake up." He said mockingly soft.
"You utter prick." Jack flipped him the finger and ripped the covers from Alex's hands.
"You don't want to be late for your first lesson." Alex tried to pry the covers back from Jack as the other tried to roll himself back up in them.
"I'm not going to lessons today." Jack mumbled, smothered by his duvet.
Alex paused, "why not? Are you sick?"
"Just go to your lesson." Jack mumbled again, hiding his head under his pillow. Alex stared at him for a moment, blinking in surprise at the sudden attitude from his best friend. Then he left, knowing Jack would just get irritated with him standing by the edge of his bed when he's trying to sleep.
As Alex was walking to Chemistry, his first lesson, he couldn't help but worry about his friend. Worry wasn't something Alex was familiar with – mostly because he never had anything to worry about. He was usually cool, calm and collected, going with the flow and taking whatever life threw at him. There were his bad days, but everybody had those.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the familiar sound of a certain cretin that roamed the college corridors, waiting for him. "Alex!" He turned his head slightly to see Maria Thorpe in her glory, smile gleaming at him. She waved and turned back to her friends, leaving Alex in the eyes of the entire corridor. Everybody stared, all the time, but especially so when Maria would call after him and sometimes even try and hug him. That was when he drew the line.
Maria Thorpe was nothing but trouble. She was a nice girl and no doubt attractive, but she was the ex-girlfriend of a certain Auditoré and that was a family you did not mess with. He continued down the corridor to Chemistry, where he stayed out of sight and out of mind but still did his work, took notes on everything he could and made sure to hand his essay in at the end of class.
The essay was optional but he did it anyway.
He was heading back to his dorm for a break when a hand grabbed his arm. He recoiled immediately, spinning around to see only his sister, Dana, standing behind him with a frown on her face.
"What the hell?" She asked, "no wonder you have no friends, if that's how you say hi to them every day."
Alex sighed and straightened, "I'm sorry. I told you not to sneak up on me."
"Whatever." She shrugged, "did you hear about-"
"Yes, Professor Cross is asking for volunteers to work with him at Gentek over the summer."
"Are you going to-"
"No." Alex deadpanned. It was really none of her business either way. The only reason she wanted to know was because she wanted something else to fill her useless college 'newspaper' with.
She was head of the college 'newspaper' because of her 'natural' habit of sticking her nose into gossip and writing about it.
Dana looked taken back, "Why not?"
"Because I don't want to. Can I go now?" He replied, moving away slightly so he could leave quicker. It's not that he didn't like talking to his sister, it's just that he didn't really like talking to anybody. Apart from Jack.
"What's wrong with you?" Dana asked, pulling him away from the crowds of people in the courtyard.
"Nothing." Alex pulled his arm from her iron grip and smiled the best he could. "I'm fine."
Dana looked far from convinced. What the hell was he supposed to say? He was fine. He felt fine. He felt like he always did, just maybe a little more distracted because of Jack. He shrugged and began to walk away, ignoring her when she called after him.
Due to Dana's little interrogation, Alex didn't have time to get back to his dorm and rest up for his next lesson. He was going on 3 hours sleep for Christ's sake, he needed a nap for something to deal with the rest of the day. There were just too many people around him for him to feel comfortable, so he always went back to his room in between lessons. And to see Jack.
He wasn't obsessed with his best friend, perhaps just a little bit clingy. He and Jack were so unbelievably close. The moment Jack turned up outside his dorm room with a duffel bag, Alex felt a spark. Alex had never felt so close to someone, not even Dana.
Not even his own mother.
Alex irritably ducked into his next class and sat at the back of the lecture hall, getting the books that he needed out of his backpack and setting them on the desk. His lecturer turned up shortly afterwards, looking surprised to see a student already in his class, but said nothing nonetheless. Alex wasn't bothered, he wasn't in the mood for talking anyway.
The class dragged on, the ticking of the clock driving Alex a tiny bit insane. He tried to keep his breathing in tact, as always. There were just too many people. At least there were none behind him so he could act like he didn't exist, all alone, as always. Until his lecturer called his name from a piece of paper and all eyes turned to him. He swallowed hard.
"Mr. Mercer, what does this line mean?" He underlined the written line on the board. For where thou art, there is the world itself, with every several pleasure in the world, and where thou art not, desolation.
Alex tried to not let the eyes on him stop him from being the smartass he was. He cleared his throat, "it means that she is his world. Wherever she is, everything is perfect, but wherever she isn't, desolation."
"Nicely done." His professor looked pleased. The wrinkles on his face creased when a genuine smile appeared on his features.
Alex leaned back when all the eyes turned back to the front of the class. He breathed in deeply and regained his 'cool'. God he hated it when teachers did that to him. Singled him out, pointed to him so the whole class could stare. As if they didn't stare enough.
After his class, he rushed out of class for his free period to head for his desperately needed alone time. Unfortunately, he was stupid enough to not look where he was going as he walked out into the courtyard and walked straight into someone, knocking both his own and their books out onto the ground. Alex sighed and muttered a sorry, bending down to pick his books up.
"It's fine, dude." The other person bent down too. It was a boy Alex noticed when he stood back up. Obviously the same age as Alex, same build if not a little bit less scrawny and more muscular. A smile was on his face as he stood back up, handing Alex one of his books that he'd accidentally picked up. Then Ezio Auditoré was suddenly beside him, glaring at Alex.
"Who is this?" Ezio asked, "is he bothering you?"
"No, it's fine." The boy smiled awkwardly, patting Ezio on the shoulder.
Alex held his breath when Ezio's brother, Altair turned up, looming over Alex. His hazel eyes bored into him, glowing underneath his hood. "He's bothering me."
Now Alex was expecting to get the shit kicked out of him. Altair despised him. Not because of anything Alex has done – a logical reason to hate someone – but because Maria wanted Alex more than she wanted Altair. So basically, Alex was reason they were no longer together.
"I'm not- I didn't mean to-" Alex trailed off, trying not to make eye contact with Altair and anger him. He was like a dog in that sense. You never made eye contact with an Auditoré.
"Look at him, stuttering. He speaks worse English than me!" Ezio laughed, pulling Altair back. "Come brother, leave him. Let us finish showing Desmond around."
Altair sneered at Alex, following behind Ezio and that Desmond guy. Alex didn't even glance their way, he just kept walking forward. Dying wasn't on his list of things to do today. It really wasn't fair that he was on bad terms with the most notorious family in the college just because of some girl he didn't even remotely like.
Finally, Alex got back to his dorm. He darted up the stairs, turned down the hallway, avoided any form of eye contact or conversation and ducked into his room. His roommate was standing in the middle of the room, clutching a duffel bag and staring at him with his dark, piercing eyes.
"What's going on?" Alex asked, eyes narrowing on the duffel bag. He felt himself begin to panic. Jack was the only friend he had and the only person he could talk to. If Jack left, Alex would have no one. Again.
"I did something bad." His roommate replied, staring at him still.
"What?" Alex asked again, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.
"I killed someone, Alex."
Alex was silent, the cogs turning in his head at a violently slow pace. "What the hell are you talking about?" He finally said, dropping his backpack on the floor. It didn't surprise him as much as it should have. He didn't know why.
There was a crack of laughter and Jack had slouched over, holding his side. "You fuckin' fell for it." He laughed, "I can't believe you fuckin' believed me."
"Oh, fuck you." Alex hissed, snatching up his bag and throwing it on his bed.
"C'mon Alex, I was just messin' around." Jack wiped a tear from his eye and sniffed. "Got to admit, it was pretty funny."
"It wasn't. If you're leaving, just fucking go." Alex muttered, falling onto his bed and shoving his head under the pillow.
"What's rattled your cage?" Jack asked, genuine confusion in his voice. Alex didn't answer and Jack sat on the bed next to him, putting a hand on his back. "You're upset that I'm leaving."
Alex scoffed but didn't bother denying it. Jack sighed, "look, something's come up. My mom's sick and I need to be there for her. I'll be back, I swear."
"You were just going to leave without telling me?" Alex's voice was muffled by the mattress. He felt Jack's eyes on him, boring into the pillow over his head.
"I didn't think it was a big deal. Guess it is."
"You hate your mom." Alex replied, lifting the pillow off his head so he could sit up and frown.
"She's my family." Jack sniffed again, itching his nose. "Anyway, I'm not going to leave forever. No need to be so fuckin' dramatic."
"Shut up." Alex felt a smile tug at his lips and he looked down.
A heavy silence filled the room before Jack grabbed Alex's head with both his hands and turned it towards him, "You got my number. If anyone fucks with you, you text me and I'll be here quicker than you can say...Um..." He trailed off, looking away for a moment. "Faster than you can say my name." He finished, looking at Alex with that big, stupid grin. Alex pushed Jack's hands away from his head.
"Right." He let out a breath. It was supposed to be a laugh but he didn't have it in him. He was going to be alone.
"Alex." Jack's voice was firm. Alex turned and saw that Jack was centimeters from him.
Alex could smell his aftershave, he could feel the black hair mingle with his own brunette hair and his face heated up a fraction. Jack's green eyes had darkened and there was something there that Alex couldn't figure out. "Scare them. They'll leave you alone if you scare them."
"Wha-"
Jack stood up, grinning from ear to ear. "I gotta go. See ya later." He grabbed his duffel bag and walked out. Alex sat there, stunned. He realised he hadn't let himself breathe so he inhaled deeply, still staring at the door. What the fuck.
Scare them? How? Thoughts were running through his mind as he just sat there. It dawned on him that Jack was now gone and he was alone. He had no one. Jack wasn't gone forever, but damn would every day feel like that.