So I did it. I looked it up. No, I didn't use the old fashioned dictionary, I used the Internet. It's much faster that way.
Anyway. I looked it up and came up with a lot of definitions of the word.
Reason.
Because that is what she is to me. Sure I could have picked beautiful, or perfect, or faultless...but she isn't always all of those. But to me, she'll always be my reason.
Weird, huh? Confused? I was too, till I found the answer.
Now, as I said before, there were a lot of definitions for the word reason. But I chose one that I think fit, just right.
Reason:
a basis or cause, as for some belief, action, fact, event, etc.
She's my reason. She's the reason I eat, or sleep, or dream good thoughts. The reason I put on that badge every morning and feel like I'm doing right in the world...the reason I pray, the reason I cry and the reason I get angry. She's my reason.
She's the reason why I wake up telling myself it's okay to breathe. It's okay to breathe.
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
In...
Out...
...because she knows I feel so guilty sometimes, that I'll tell myself I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to breathe when they can no longer.
She's the reason why I appreciate my car, my house, my life. The reason why I appreciate her.
She's the reason I decided to find the word for her.
The reason why I'm writing this.
The reason why- I'm stopping. She just waved me over. Another case, another dead child, another gruesome crime scene...
But the reason I'll get through it is because of her.
I'll smile because of her. I'll laugh because of her. I'll breathe because of her.
It's simple.
She's the reason.
She's my reason.