The Roach ll
Characters/Pairing: Ichigo/Rukia
Rating: T
Genre: Humor
Summary: Ichigo discovers the resilience of Rukia's pet roach.
A/N: Sequel to The Roach. This story doesn't actually follow the events that ended in The Roach, but takes place in its direct timeline.
It had been a week subsequent the day that Rukia had obtained the Asian, light-attracted, reddish-brown, 2 and a half inch cockroach that a nicotine-addicted anorectic foreigner had given her for free in the street.
Ichigo still couldn't get his head around it, moreover the minor detail that Isshin had actually let her keep it.
And throughout this hellish week, Rukia had coddled the disgusting thing and gone through all manner of acts to make sure it had a luxurious stay in the household. On top of that, it was horridly difficult to keep track of and popped up in the most inopportune of moments with alarming regularity, effectively scaring the shit out of Ichigo...at only his expense.
He hadn't slept well at all. He gone to all measures to make sure the cockroach didn't get into his room, and had even gone as far as duct taping the crevices around his door. It had taken till midnight, but it had been well worth it...or so he assumed. Aside security, nothing could stop the gag inducing images of that damn roach from creeping into his head just when he thought he would get a moment's sleep. Ichigo closed his eyes, the teacher's voice lecturing them on pre calculus fading to a far off burble. If she didn't notice him, then maybe he could just get a few minutes of...
"Ichigo!" Rukia hissed, sounding alarmed. Ichigo stirred, wondering what she sounded so apprehensive about.
"What?" he groaned quietly, looking down to see how much he'd gotten done on calculus.
His math work was there, but so was the-
"AAAAAAGH!" Ichigo gave off a shrill, girlish scream of terror as he catapaulted out of his seat. The roach, done inspecting the pencil on his desk, skittered over to the edge of the table where Rukia snatched it up just before anyone saw. Ichigo heard a high-pitched squeal then, and it took him a split second to realize that he was making the noise. He went still, closing his mouth. Everyone stared at him, including Rukia.
He twisted around then and stumbled into the aisle, hurrying out of the classroom as fast as he could go.
After that incident, Ichigo had feigned illness the following day, mortified out of his mind at the notion of confronting them. He seriously didn't know what he would have told his friends. Luckily, they never asked, though they gave him odd looks when he returned. Indubitably, it didn't end there, however much he may have wanted it to. He chewed Rukia out, sent her on her way and told her to do a clean frisk every day before going out so that an occurence like the one before didn't happen again.
It was Ichigo's turn to do the dishes. He took the pitcher of ice water to go and pour it out in the sink as Yuzu had instructed him. He leaned forward to turn the spigot and got an eyeful of Rukia's damn roach, which was perched right on top of it.
"YAAAGH!" Ichigo threw his arms in the air, causing cold ice water to splash out of the pitcher and land on him, completely dousing him from head to toe. Rukia and his family charged onto the scene, suspecting foul play or a household related mishap. There was no such luck.
"Oh! There you are," Rukia cooed, and went over to her roach's aid. No such sentiments were payed to Ichigo, who trudged loudly out of the kitchen and went upstairs to dry off. He stayed in a foul mood after that.
It was the final straw for Ichigo. He'd had enough of the roach. He wanted it dead.
He waited until Rukia sat down for her daily ritual of tea and a good book to read, and went hunting for the roach. It wasn't hard to pinpoint. It always hung around the kitchen for some reason.
Ichigo heard it as it noxiously scurried along before he saw it. He stood outside the kitchen entrance and lifted the big-ass dictionary (not a hardback) he'd retrieved from his room for just this occasion. He paused, quivering with anticipation. The roach emerged then, moving along at a modest pace. Ichigo slammed the book down then, hitting a perfect bullseye. He nearly whooped and cried for joy, but held off his moment of celebration for the moment. He crouched down and picking up the dictionary by the front cover, lifting it up off the ground. The roach was still; in fact, to Ichigo, it looked almost awkward. He hefted the dictionary in one hand and prepared to nudge the roach to test how lifeless it was. Suddenly, the cockroach popped up in the air, unharmed, and went on its merry way as if nothing had happened, giving Ichigo a wide berth.
Ichigo bolted for the kitchen and chased after it with a broom, now more determined than ever.
He caught up with it quickly and brought the broom down on it, hitting it dead on. Ichigo was appalled when he raised the broom and the cockroach still had not died. He hit it again...and again...and again, still with no results. By the time Ichigo had worked up a sweat, the roach was still unharmed. Its antennae twitched and it scurried off. Ichigo passed out from over-exertion and depression.
A/N: This is based off true events so none of what I've put in here has been exaggerated.
I actually did encounter a roach much like this one (it was smaller but still big) and it survived multiple hits with a broom. I was so impressed by its resilience that I decided I would write a fic on it and here it is. R&R.