Selling the Evening
chapter one
This is my answer to a friend's brilliant story suggestion. I have altered it a tiny bit, but not much. Remoob, this one's for you.
Characters aren't mine...
"A bachelor's auction, Conrad?" Gil Grissom's voice was laced with incredulity.
"Yes, Gil. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept - the guys you pick will go on stage, and women will bid on the chance to go out with them. Each man will bring with him a different evening's adventure - a number of local businesses have donated prizes, meals out, movies, concert tickets, that sort of thing. Most of the men will be from the LVPD, but we at the lab have been asked to help out as well. Of course I told them we'd be delighted."
"Of course." Grissom sighed heavily. "Conrad, I really can't ask my men to participate in such a..."
Ecklie snorted and shook his head. " Of course you can. The money is going to buy Christmas presents for the families of LVPD officers killed in action. I'll be needing a minimum of four guys from your shift. They have to be single. "
"I'll give it my best. All I can do is ask them; whether or not they choose to participate is not up to me."
Ecklie patted him on the shoulder. "Try hard, Gil. If you come up with less than four, the ladies will be bidding on YOU.
lookingforcsisforrentcsisforrent
"Okay... Let me get this straight. You want us to allow ourselves to be auctioned off to the highest bidder."
Grissom cleared his throat. "Actually what's being sold is an evening of your company, David. I doubt seriously that alone would bring in much, but I'm sure that someone somewhere will place a bid once they see that the evening includes a very nice dinner, perhaps a show afterward..."
Nick leaned forward. "What about the married guys, and the ones with girlfriends?"
"I'm not asking the married guys, and last I heard none of you were seeing anyone. Was I mistaken?" Silence greeted the question.
"Well, I'm up for it. " Greg Sanders grinned. "It could be fun. Do I have to put out?"
Grissom sighed and rubbed his temples. "No, Greg, you don't - but I'm sure that, given the chance, you will."
"Only with the right lady... I'm not easy, you know."
"Thank you so much for that. So I have one definite. Nick? Archie?"
Nick shot Greg a dirty look. "I will so bring in a higher price than you, Sanders."
"Maybe you will, and maybe you won't. How about you, Hodges - you joining us, or are you afraid you'll go unsold, like a big old nasty mushy cantaloupe at the bottom of the pile?"
Hodges leaned forward. "Yeah, I'm in. And I'LL probably bring a higher price than you do. Real ladies appreciate class, you know."
"I don't see what class has to do with you -"
"Gentlemen, gentlemen! Archie, will you be participating?"
"Yeah, I'm in."
"Very good. And now for the evening's cases..."
auctionnightauctionnightauctionnight
Backstage LVPD Charity Bachelor's auction
"Your tie is straight, Arch. You look great. Sit down and wait for you number to be called." Nick Stokes was wearing black jeans, a western shirt with bolo tie, and a white cowboy hat. He sat on a long, low sofa between Greg and Hodges.
"What's your number?"
"Nine."
"I'm eight." Nick took off his hat, ran his hand through his hair, then put the hat back on.
Archie swallowed hard. "They just called six."
"I'm seven." Hodges smiled over at Greg. "Mr. Selling-for-Three-Bucks Sanders is number ten."
Greg rolled his eyes. "Don't be nervous, Archie. Look at it this way - you're going to end up on a date with someone you know going into it really REALLY wants to go out with you - and you don't even have to pay!"
Archie blushed. "Yeah, well... this is still embarassing."
"You shouldn't be embarassed. You look great!" Nick patted him on the shoulder.
"Now if you were dressed like Hodges..." Greg raised his eyebrows and grinned. "How old is that suit, David? Is that polyester double knit you're wearing?"
"It's new, and it's silk, Mr. Not-Enough-Class-For-A-Tux-But-His-Skinny-Ass-Rented-One-Anyway. "
"Will Bachelor Seven please come with me?" A short Asian man stuck his head into the room.
"And now it's just us three." Greg smirked at Nick. "You're next."
"That I am. Be glad to get this over with."
Archie sighed. "I'm feeling queasy."
Greg pulled a roll of mints from his pocket. "Peppermint's good for nausea. Have a couple."
"Thanks."
Nick sighed. "I can't believe I let Grissom rope me into this."
"Believe it."
"I noticed that you didn't put up much of a fight, Sanders."
Greg shrugged. "Why fight it? We knew when we went into the room that Grissom was going to get what he wanted. He always does. Besides, I had my reasons."
"You wanted to get laid."
He chuckled. "No, nothing like that."
"Do tell?..."
"Bachelor Eight, please come with me."
"And then there were two."
Archie smiled nervously. "I hope someone bids on me."
"Of course someone will bid on you. That goes without saying. Besides, Jackie's out there just to make sure. The bids are done electronically, so no one would ever know it was her. Confidence, Archie - if you don't have it, fake it."
"Is that what you do?"
"Sometimes."
Archie went to the mirror and pulled at his tie. "You look fine. Leave it alone or you'll mess it up."
"Bachelor Nine, please come with me."
"See you at the lab, Archie."
showtimeshowtimeshowtimeshowtime
"Bachelor Ten, it's your turn."
"And now, last but not least, CSI Greg Sanders..."
Greg walked slowly across the stage and turned.
"An evening with Mr. Sanders begins when a stretch limo pulls up to your house to take you to a lovely gourmet dinner at the Bellagio, followed by a show at the Comedy Club. Bidding begins at three dollars. Do I have three dollars? We have three dollars... somebody give us four... Ten dollars... Twenty... twenty-five..."
Greg squinted but couldn't see who was bidding. Obviously someone was, more than one someone because the numbers were quickly going up and quickly.
"One hundred dollars... one hundred twenty-five... I have one hundred fifty... One hundred eighty... two hundred..."
The stage lights were hot, and Greg stood blinded by their glare as the bids kept coming...
"Two-twenty... two hundred fifty dollars... Three hundred dollars. I have three hundred dollars. Going once, going twice, sold to bidder number eighty-seven."
afterthesaleafterthesale
"So how do we find out who won us?" Archie spoke as he changed into his work clothes.
"Ask the guy who escorted us out; he'll give you your lady's name and number." Nick smirked. "Catherine had mercy on me. She thought I was worth three hundred. "
Archie sighed. "I sold for seventy-five. No idea who the buyer was."
"Don't feel bad. I think Brass went for twenty." Greg buttoned up his shirt.
"How about you, Sanders? Did you bring ten bucks?"
"Try three hundred. How about you, Hodges?"
Hodges looked away. "Don't worry about me - worry about who in their right mind would pay three hundred dollars to spend an evening in your company."
"Probably Catherine." Nick tied his shoes as he spoke.
"What was Catherine's number?"
"Fourteen."
"Not her, then. I was bought by bidder number eight-seven."
"That's... let's see, that's Miss Sara Sidle." The man who had led them to the stage smiled over at Greg. "You look surprised. Do you know her?"
Greg glanced over at Nick, whose raised eyebrows and sudden silence expressed his astonishment better than words ever could. "Yes, I, um, I know her pretty well. Maybe I got the number wrong."
"You're Greg Sanders? No, you have the number right. Miss Sidle was in a fierce bidding war with a Wendy... can't read the last name. Here, I'll give you her contact info."
"Not necessary. I'll be seeing her in an hour..."
laterthatnightlaterthatnightlaterthatnight
"So, Sara, I heard you forked over three hundred for our little Greggo. That's, what, two bucks a pound?"
Sara snorted. "Just rescuing a friend from the indignity of being sold like a cow at a meat auction."
"I see." Nick smirked. "I noticed you didn't bid on me at all. Aren't we friends?"
"It's not the same. Besides, Catherine bought you."
"Yeah, but YOU didn't know that. I'll tell you what I think. I think you like G more than you want to let on."
"Of course I like him! We're close friends. I wanted... wanted to make sure he sold for a good price, so that he'd feel good about himself."
Nick laughed. "That's really good. I'd believe that more, if you were either richer or nicer, but I know you, and you didn't fork our three hundred clams for Greg's self-esteem."
"Then why did I do it, Nick, when I could have a date with him for free just for asking?"
"Because you didn't want him getting bought by Wendy. And I have to go, because here comes your new purchase. I'm sure you'd rather check his teeth in private."
"Greg."
"So. Sara." Greg shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "I, um, the man at the bachelor auction told me you were my winning bidder, so I thought I'd, um, you know..."
"Yeah. We, ah, we need to work out the details." She smiled tightly.
"Yeah. We do." He cleared his throat. "So I was looking at the schedule, and I saw that we're both off next Tuesday. I was thinking, if that works for you maybe I could come by at five or six and pick you up. If that's good for you, that is."
"That's... that's great."
"They're, um, they gave us a limo for the evening."
"Wow!"
"Yeah. We, um, we'd better go take report."