So, I kinda got bored, and I was reading on how America and Japan share interests, and there's that running joke that Japan watches tentacle porn, and thus, this was born... Also, I hate writing Het, unless it's Russia-fucking-the-brains-out-of-America type sex, because that's simple, and very straight forwards. But this turned out quite well...

Warning; this contains sex, masturbation to some degree, tentacle porn, and mentions of twincest. Jap/fem!Ame, hints of fem!Can/fem!Ame, Rus/fem!Ame, Ukr/fem!Can

Disclaimerl Lispet-chan doesn't own Hetalia, otherwise it would be a full blown yaoi. Like, if you've read Body Buddy (It's a Kakuzu/Hidan doujinshi), like, that kind of smut.

Jap/Fem!Ame; Tentacle porn just got boring

When America showed up on Kiku's doorstep, water plastering her hair to her face, and her white and now officially see-through shirt rather deliciously to her skin, the short-ish Japanese man just rolled his eyes and stepped aside, allowing the girl in. She was clutching her bag to her stomach, probably to keep it dry.

'Sorry I'm late!' She blurted, shedding her shirt. Japan politely averted his eyes and reached behind him for a coat off his coat stand. He tried not to think too hard about how there was water dripping onto his floor, and focused instead on how it was WATER, and that his floors were made of WOOD, and therefore, he could just make America mop it up later.

America disregarded the offered coat and kicked her waterlogged shoes off, leaning on the nearest roof-column to support herself as she pulled her socks off as well. 'So, I bought some new DVD's. The guy at the shop kept looking at my funny!' Her voice rose to a whine, and she pulled her glasses off, looking around for something to dry them on. She finally settled for her skirt, and Kiku picked up Allie's bag, which she had dropped.

'Of course the shopkeeper was looking at you funny. You were buying porn.' Kiku held up the offending DVD's. Emblazoned across the front of the most prominent case was a very naked girl bound in what was undoubtedly Kinbaku-bi.

'So?' Allie shrugged, taking the discs off Kiku.

'So you're a girl.' Kiku stated this as if it should be obvious. America seemed to not hear and walked over to the TV.

'Admit it, you're curious. I heard they're getting better…' Allie put the disc in and walked over to the couch, grabbing a blanket and tucking herself under it, adding a pillow to her lap, hugging it tightly. She reached out with her foot and toed the remote. Kiku turned away, a stubborn frown marring his otherwise delicate features. 'It's got tentacles in it…' Allie taunted, smiling up at the dark-haired nation.

Kiku caved.

'Fine. But if Yao walks in, I'm saying that you threatened to nuke me again.' Kiku did not want his elder brother to know that he had a… thing… for tentacle porn. It had been embarrassing enough to admit it to Allie, and he had only done so well after Allie had admitted it herself.

'Will this make you feel better?' Allie reached for her bag and tossed a pair of handcuffs to Japan.

Kiku's already dark eyes darkened even more. 'How does Maddie put up with you?'

'She gets to top.' Allie laughed, hardly wondering how she could be a burden to her sister. (Twincest FTW)

Kiku curled his legs up to his chest, his eyes fixated on the screen. If he weren't aware of Allie's foot pressed against his hip, he probably would've rubbed one out by now. But it was rude to do such a thing whilst there was a guest there, even if they were watching some poor animated kid get raped by tentacles. The young girl did make nice sounds as the slimy appendages suspended and used her body rather roughly…

He squirmed, wishing that he'd just abandoned the traditional clothes when his people had. At least then jeans or even just pants of a different, and preferably slightly tighter fabric would provide some sort of friction, compared to this loose hakama.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Perhaps he shouldn't've let Allie rope him into this. Then again, he was kind of powerless against her. She'd had more impact in his life than anyone else, not including his older brother, China, or his son, Osaka. She'd left him nearly dead once, back at the end of World War Two. One scar next to his heart, the other in his gut. He tried to shake the thought form his head. If he thought about the bombings, then he'd have to check the scars. He didn't even know why he did that. In turn, Allie had scarred herself for what she had done. Two perfect cuts, just above her heart. He hadn't meant to see. She just forgot that she had Kiku over and walked downstairs in her underwear. Which, unsurprisingly, was printed with her flag. God, she had an ego.

He glanced over at said blonde and did a double take. She wasn't watching the screen, instead her head leaning on the back of the couch, her normally bright blue eyes hazed over, half closed. Her hair was long since out of its pigtails, falling heavily around her shoulders, still drenched, however there was that one lock of hair that stuck up and was currently wrapped firmly around one of her fingers.

The blanket had been twisted aside, held down by one of her legs. Japan's eyes followed up the curve of her thigh. He flinched slightly, mostly out of surprise, though why he was surprised, he wasn't quite sure, when he saw her other hand not really under her skirt, seeing as it was hiked up, nor was it beneath her panties, seeing as she had somehow almost removed them, they were dangling from her foot, which was hanging off the side of the couch.

She had her hand resting at the base of her stomach, her thumb and pinky spreading herself apart, and two fingers rubbing something, that which he couldn't see, but it clearly had an effect on her, judging by the soft pants that her ministrations elicited.

Kiku tore his eyes away when she shook her head and swore. If Allie caught him watching, she'd never let him live it down. He pretended to be very interested in the screen, which was now just a blur of colour and sound, and flinched when Allie chuckled, and her foot prodded his hip.

'You were watching me,' she giggled, rolling over so that she was on her hands and knees on the floor, staring up at Kiku mischievously, 'Isn't it rude to stare?' She asked, pulling his legs down so that she could lean up, and into his lap.

'A… a little.' Kiku stuttered, focusing so that he'd at least be able to speak English. 'Hai… it is.'

'Then why were you staring?' Allie, despite being so horny that she couldn't resist attempting getting herself off in the presence of someone else, seemed to retain perfect mental functions. She squirmed forwards a little, reaching out to tug at Kiku's obi experimentally.

Kiku was unable to answer. Allie was worming her hands beneath his clothes, whilst there was the background sounds of that girl screaming in what was supposed to be pleasure, he thought, he wasn't really paying attention. He flinched when Allie's warm hands came into contact with the skin of his stomach, urgently. She frowned and tugged at the outer fabric again, and Japan sighed. She really had no clue about clothing that actually covered skin, did she?

He reached behind himself and gently pulled the obi's knot loose, and all of his clothing seemed to come undone. Allie smiled and pulled his undershirt open, instantly leaning forwards to mouth at his creamy skin, her hands fumbling with the tie on his hakama. Japan allowed his head to loll back, his eyes falling closed. Damn, no one had touched him like this since just before World War Two had ended. He'd forgotten what context it was in, but Germany, Italy and he had gotten a little drunk. Scratch that. A lot drunk.

He mewled softly when Allie succeeded on his hakama and he finally got the friction he needed when Allie's small hands wrapped around his needy length. Allie half-closed her eyes, keeping them trained on Kiku's twitching cock. She could only wonder when the last time he got laid was. Probably too long for his own good. He should've just asked her.

She firmly pumped Kiku's length in her hand, keeping the other on his stomach, gently kneading the muscles beneath his alabaster skin. When she felt Kiku's stomach clench tightly beneath her wandering hand, she backed off, and he twitched and swore in his own language.

She smirked. Men were so predictable.

She put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him sideways until he was lying on his back, looking rather vulnerable. Allie looked at him and blushed. He was lying there, spread-eagled, his face flushed and slightly shiny with sweat just under his hairline. Whilst he gave of an air of embarrassment and his eyes were glazed over, staring at Allie as if she were some alien, Allie didn't care. He kinda looked… hot like this. And she didn't care if 'hot' was a term to describe the small nation with or not.

'So,' she murmured, straddling his hips. Japan squirmed beneath her, impatient. She didn't blame him.

Before Allie could comprehend the movement, Japan grabbed her waist and sat himself up, twisting so that she was sitting on the back of the couch, leaning against the wall, and Japan was kneeling on the seat, leaning between her legs. Allie yelped in surprise. Since when had Japan been that strong? She was the United States of America and… goddamnit, why was he taking so long?

She hooked her heels around his waist, pulling him closer. And suddenly he was very close indeed, one hand gripping her hip, the other fumbling with something quickly.

Japan frowned, once again wishing that traditional clothes were not so fiddly. Finally, he managed to completely loosen his hakama, and the cloth fell away, before he shed the top half of his clothing, leaving him almost naked, but he didn't give a damn about socks. They were warm.

Allie's hand moved from his shoulder, where it had settled before, and he looked up. She was tugging on her ahoge again, and the effect seemed to be pretty damn instantaneous. She whimpered lustily, and her other hand tightened on Kiku's shoulder. 'K… Kiku,' she moaned, 'can you just… please?'

Kiku nodded and reached down to grasp himself, thumbing over the slit, smearing the beads of precum into his skin. Slowly, (mainly because now that he thought about it, he'd never actually slept with a woman before, considering that there were very few female nations, and there was no way he was going near Taiwan or Vietnam, they were like, his second cousins or something… and therefore he had no idea what to do,) but partly because he wasn't sure if he'd hurt Allie or not, but she jerked on his hips with her heels again and he kind of forgot everything.

Being inside Allie like this wasn't like fucking Feliciano, not at all. Allie was warm and wet and made his want to be gentle, but he really had no qualms if he roughed Italy up a little.

'Nng… move.' America archer her back, pressing her body closer to Kiku's. And so Japan did as asked, one hand twined around Allie's, which was in turn twined in her hair, the other on her hip, gripping tightly, giving him the leverage he needed to move fast and hard enough.

Allie opened her eyes a crack and glanced at Kiku. He seemed to realise that Allie was looking at him, for he looked up at that exact moment, and whilst his face betrayed as little emotion as always, his eyes were not so dull, they were warm, and affectionate (And I'm writing fluff… le depressions). Japan let go of Allie's hip and wrapped his hand around her jaw instead, not ceasing his rhythmic thrusts in the slightest.

Allie leant forwards, trying her best to rock her hips in time with Kiku's, mewling when he couldn't get deep enough, but it still felt good. Oh so good. She tugged on her ahoge, Nantucket, for once not irritated with her erogenous zone's effect on her, crying out when it sent sparks down her spine, pooling as hot bubbles in her stomach.

She couldn't think properly, wasn't aware of anything except the feeling of Japan's skin underneath her fingers, and how her shoulder's hit the wall with each thrust, and how she wished that this wouldn't end, because they had probably waited too long to do this, and if they had had another trade meeting where all they could do was look at each other across the table, then they would've probably gone crazy. It was nearly as bad as the sexual tension caused by the cold war. At least that was out of her system now.

She and Japan had a huge give and take with trade, but it never went as far as sexual favours. And now? It did apparently.

Allie kept whimpering and rocking her hips against Japan's as best she could, and after a few moments, and a few more tugs on Nantucket, Allie reached her peak, shuddering and crying out, rather loudly. She clenched around Japan, locking him in place, but it didn't matter, for moments later, with a low moan and a curse, came as well.

They stayed there for a few minutes, Allie resting her forehead on Kiku's, before they got interrupted.

'Aww fuck.' Allie gently pushed Kiku away, 'That totally kills the mood.' She lay on the couch and reached for her bag, pulling her phone out and checking to see whom it was. 'Oopsies.' She grinned and flipped the phone open. 'Hello?'

'Allie? Why the hell haven't you been picking up your phone? Where the hell are you?' A girl's voice quietly, yet angrily demanded form the other side of the line.

'Uhh… who's this?' Allie asked, squeaking when Kiku lay on top of her, kind of like a blanket to peer over her shoulder and play with Nantucket.

'Allie! It's me, Maddie. Y'know… Canada? Your identical twin sister?' Allie let out a soft 'oh' and Canada continued talking. 'Why are you so breathless? And did you just squeak before?'

'Uhhm…' Kiku, out of sheer curiosity, leant forwards and put Nantucket in his mouth, sucking on it. Allie automatically gave a long, drawn out moan.

'Do I want to know what's going on?' Maddie asked.

'Well,' Allie smirked. If there ever was a time to get back at Maddie for all those times Allie had accidentally walked in when Canada and France were going at it, purely for linguistical reasons, naturally, then this was it, 'I decided to visit Kiku, as you know, and as our hobbies intersect, we ended up watching a rather intense video involving naked people and tentacles, and one thing led to another, and in a total heroic manner, I basically just got mind-blowing sex, and now Kiku's playing with Nantucket and…' Allie moaned again when Kiku blew cold air on said ahoge, 'and… fuck… you know how… your… Kiku stop it!' Kiku paused for a moment. 'how your… curl is like…'

Canada sat in her bedroom, cross-legged, absolutely mortified, with her polar bear, Kumajiro, warming her shins nicely. Why yes, she did know what her curl was like… very much indeed. She hung up on her sister for once, disturbing Kumajiro as she twisted to face Maria. 'I was on the phone,' she pouted, 'don't play with my curl if I'm talking!'

Woo! I hate writing het! Now, you can review if you want, but if you're going to waste time doing a favour for me, please vote on my poll, because I really need a project that is based on sex, just whilst I get through a few chapters of my full blown epic novel, Suits Smoke. So yeah, just please vote, it's at the top of my profile, and I hope you enjoyed this time-filler of a story.

Oh, and Mr. C, I hope this was worth the wait. I swear, I'm never writing het for you again!

Translations;
Kinbaku-bi – Japanese bondage, lit. 'The beauty of tight binding'. It's very extensive.
Hakama – loose traditional pants worn underneath a men's kimono or yukata
Hai – Yes
Obi – belt