**Author's Note** Well, I waited for this for years and hadn't gotten an answer, so I just decided to do it myself. It will be what The Stars In Your Eyes was supposed to be, my absolute last fan fiction story. I'm not gonna call it my best like TSIYE, or my favorite like with Monty Python and the Pirate King, but I am staking my entire fan fiction legacy on this one story. The idea came from, of course, the legendary Terrible Crossover Fanfiction Idea Generator, the formula being End of Evangelion+Beauty and the Beast, with puberty as a plot device. Prepare yourself, mortal. The consequences will never be the same.

Heaven Beside You

"This was a tale that began long ago when the Angels descended to the earth..." But after reading the sentence for the thousandth time, Rei Ayanami was sick of it and snapped the book shut. However much or often she wished it, life was not some grand fairy tale. She could dream of being an old-fashioned princess in the nearby castle, or dream of flying, but when she opened her eyes she would still be stuck on the farm with her mad scientist father, Gendo Ikari. Stuck; she knew she cared but didn't know why, and just assumed every girl was like this. So she decided to take a stroll into town, maybe find a new book.

"Oh, you little town, so quiet..." Sometimes they all seem a bit like ants as they wake up to go about their business... so who's their queen? The road out from the farm passed more and more houses, until it gave up and declared itself in the little village. There Rei saw the town square, where store fronts were being swept clean, and there was the slightest hint of bread baking wafting towards Rei on the breeze. The cooper waved to her, and said good morning.

He was soon followed by others in the square, who acknowledged Rei cheerfully. Ah I knew I smelled bread. There goes the baker... There was an almost musical quality to how the townspeople moved about, and perhaps unsurprisingly Rei heard one start singing a wordless melody as she passed the bakery. "Good morning, Rei!"

"Oh... good morning." I think that's how they say it.

"Where might you be off to today?"

"Ah, I was thinking of visiting the bookshop, I was a page away from using this as a doorstopper-"

"That's lovely- Misato, THE BAGUETTES! See you later, maybe I'll have a few leftover rolls. Goodbye." And the baker hurried off, as Rei continued her trip to the bookshop, she heard the townspeople begin a curious verse:

"There she goes that girl is strange, no question!
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
Never part of any crowd-
Would she even be allowed?
No denying she's a funny girl, the Rei..."

Rei took in people haggling over the price of eggs, and greeting each other as she came closer still to the bookshop. She felt their magically musical contentment tugging at her, but she remained quiet and walked right in to the shop. "Ah, Rei, good morning! Back so soon?"

"Yes, I'm here to return this book."

"Finished already?"

"I considered using it as toilet paper. Have you got anything new?"

"Eheh, not since yesterday."

"Oh... I'll just borrow this one again." Rei selected a thick, well-worn volume with a boy and a flaming chalice on the front cover.

"That? Bah, you've read it twice!"

"...It's my favorite."

"Well, I'll let you hang on to it then." Rei raised her eyebrows a fraction of an inch, but the bookseller said, "I insist! Keep it!" Rei nodded, and turned around to leave. The townspeople were singing again, about some unspecified girl:

"There she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a distant far-off look
Or her nose stuck in some book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Rei!"

Again, Rei felt moved to sing but the tune and words of the villager's song escaped her, as she was engrossed in the book. A vague tickling in her ears suggested the villagers were still singing.

"Despite being so odd she's quite a beauty,
Her looks have got no parallel!"

"But behind that fair facade
I'm afraid she's rather odd
So different from the rest of us-

Very different from the rest of us
Yes, different from the rest of us is Rei!"

From a distance near the other end of the town square, the hunter Touji Suzuhara had his eye on a certain someone. "Ha! You didn't miss a shot, Touji!" Kensuke said.

"I know."

"No deer alive stands a chance against you!" With a wink, Kensuke nudged Touji and added, "Or girl, for that matter."

"It's true, Kensuke- and I've got my sights set on that one!" Touji said, pointing dramatically.

"What, Madman Ikari's daughter?"

"Correct; she's the lucky girl I'm going to marry!"

"But-"

"She's the most beautiful girl in town, and that makes her the best." Touji gave a threatening laugh, and slapped Kensuke on the back. "And I deserve the best, don't I?"

"Well of course, but-" Kensuke's plea was ignored, as Touji was wrapped up in the moment and had begun to sing.

"Right from the moment that I met her, saw her,
I said she's gorgeous and I fell
In this town there's only she
Who's as beautiful as me
Yes, I'm making plans to woo and marry Rei!"

Not noticing the girls fawning over his good looks, Touji began power walking over to Rei. His polished leather hunting boots shone in the early light, his short raven hair blowing about in the breeze. The ground between him and Rei quickly diminished, and Kensuke tapped her on the shoulder to announce their presence. The blue-haired maiden turned around, and saw who it was. Touji just stood there posing confidently with his arms folded across his chest, as Rei stared blankly. A small leaf blew between them as the silence stretched out. "So, Rei, I've noticed something about myself that I want to share with you: I'm single." A nearby cricket began to sing, but Touji stomped on it swiftly. "And I've been single for a while, for this one reason: I only want the best! And you, Rei, are the best! Just think of the family we could have together; little Touji juniors and little Rei's running all around the house, and-"

Rei glanced down at her book, and frowned slightly. "You made me lose my place. And I just have no interest in starting a family, Touji. I'm only fifteen." Turning on her heel, Rei left and continued walking back to the farm house.

"B-b- b'whuh? How bold is she, is this mockery?" Touji stared after Rei, the young man's mind not comprehending what had just happened. "This is an outrage! Publicly humiliating me, ME, the most handsome man in the village!"

"Yeah! What was she thinking?" Kensuke said.

"Nothing smart, apparently. Come, Kensuke. Let us make our way to the tavern- I feel the need to boast." Kensuke chuckled and rubbed his hands for a moment, and followed behind the proud Touji. He kicked open the tavern doors, and commandeered a nearby table top. He felt his rage and grandeur rising up in him, and it came out in a masterful high scream. The villagers felt a rush of energy and could hear music with power and majesty starting to play as Touji's scream faded.

"Perfect,
A pure paragon!
No there are none like me!

I can
Slap a tornado
I can dry up a sea!"

Kensuke squeezed in a short line singing,

"Cause there's no one, no one like Touji!"

"Manly!
Up to eleven,
Infinity and beyond!
My list of deeds goes and goes on!"

The patrons of the tavern joined in, adding a few lines:

"No one hits like he does

Matches wits like he does
In drinking matches nobody drinks like he does!"

"I'm unparalleled at doing a keg stand-"

"Cause there's no one, no one like Touji!"

"As a lad I ate rocks and falcon eggs
Every morning to help me grow large
Now I drink protein shakes and eat dragon souls-
And I'm roughly the size of a barge!"

The tavern goers came in with a few different lines, bringing the vocal melody back to Touji's beginning:

"A man!
He's one among men
He's the hero next door!"

And then everyone joined in for one last line, Touji's voice high above them all.

"Cause there's no one, no one like Touji!"

"A round for everyone, on me!" Touji raised his fist into the air, and everyone cheered.