Hey again, I know most are waiting for my update on Stranger in a Strange Land, but it's my sister Maria's birthday! *throws confetti*
So, at her request, I wrote what I'd like to call KittyCatKurt. Hope you like it hun!
Trillions of thanks to Sue who actually sat and finished editing this before going to work. Love you babe!
Disclaimer: I do not own the idea of Kitty!Kurt, nor do I own Glee or any of its characters.
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The topic of the week in Glee was a thing which always irritated Kurt, but the fact that they were doing Lady Gaga for their weekly group performance had Kurt bouncing on his toes like a little kid. He revered her sense of passion. The fact that she had openly declared her bisexuality was something he admired. Maybe one day, when he got out of Lima, he would be able to be proud of who he was, as opposed to hiding it and keeping a virtual, indestructible armor in front of him at all times.
This year wasn't such an easy year for him. He had lost his misguided crush on Finn as soon as the dreaded word had come out of his mouth, a word which Kurt had taken for granted would never be used in the sanctity of his own home. Instead about two months later, he was the one who went and spoke to Carole about plans to move back in, because his dad and she should not have to be punished for the idiotic behavior that Finn had displayed. At least it opened his eyes to the fact that even Finn was a meat-headed jock, maybe more stupid than any of the others.
Then his dad had fallen ill. It was like Fate didn't want him to catch a break. He still regretted not telling Dad that Carole and Finn had gone back to their place for the whole time he was in the hospital and that he was living alone on takeout. And he never ate takeout. That was the first step wherein he and Mercedes had started to grow apart. He knew stereotyping a whole mass of people based on a certain few was not the right thing to do. But when people stood in front of your car and recited Biblical verses or made the sign of the Cross on themselves, it wasn't easy to not have feelings of hatred towards that community. But friendship was something that was sacred to Kurt, and so he went to Church with Mercedes, even though he didn't want to. He would never tell her that he recognized about ten people in the church who had taken their car away from the garage because "they didn't want a homo working on it".
The kiss had Kurt reeling. He had an image kept out in his mind which he replayed whenever he felt down. His kiss wasn't in his bedroom, with a sweet girl who he used to feel closer to his Dad, but would be with a guy in the first place that they had met. It would be a sweet meeting or reunion, and they would walk hand-in-hand, basically spitting on all those who said he would never get a partner. But this, this was something that refused to register in his brain. He had checked out Dalton online and had downloaded the brochures and printed them out. However, the steep fees that they asked was something he knew his family couldn't cough up. Especially now that they got a new place so Kurt wouldn't have to deal with homophobic comments in his own bedroom.
However, he had a slight silver lining with respect to any bullying that would have happened later. Even though he hated the girl's fashion sense and her obnoxious way of showing off her talent, Rachel had made his life easier. She had somehow taken a video of Karofsky kissing him and confronted him with Kurt. She told Dave that either Trevor could help him confront his issues about being gay but not being able to come out of the closet, or she would release that video on Facebook.
Kurt asked her as they walked out, "Why? I mean I've done nothing but insult you in all the time we've been together. You don't have to do this for me." Rachel shrugged, "My dads have faced a lot of hate due to their sexuality. The last thing you need is that. Helping you was not only a moral obligation, but we have a lot in common. I hate blackmailing, but I know cases like him, and he would have made your life miserable."
This was one thing that they never mentioned again, but Kurt always knew he would owe her one. So when Rachel decided that she wanted to redesign her nose, he decided that he should do something to help her. He tried telling her that Finn wasn't worth the whole cosmetic surgery shebang, when she quite rudely said, "Well, you don't have any options, so you wouldn't understand." At his fallen look, she confessed, "I'm sorry, but I love Finn, and sometimes you have to do some things you don't like to get what you want."
That's when Noah approached Kurt, and told him that he himself didn't want Rachel to go through with it. Kurt was pretty sure he had some feelings left. On asking, Noah told him he had a reputation to uphold, but later confessed that he didn't want her ego to get bruised over and over again by Finn. Kurt then told Noah to get everything done and pass on the message to the people participating in it. He then posted on the group telling them to come to the place at the decided time and then went back to browsing the latest designs online.
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He brought Rachel to the mall and gave a tiny speech about how hearing Barbra's name would convince her to change her mind about the surgery. He danced with her down the escalator and then into the arms of a girl, Maria, who he had befriended during the whole synchronization routine the lot of them had done together. He had also enlisted the help of a guy named Brian, to stand behind Rachel on the escalator and generally wow her, making her forget about Finn.
Once the flash mob was over, Rachel looked around to see all the dancers moving away, but Finn was coming towards her. So she immediately went towards Kurt and gave him a big hug. She wasn't ready to talk to Finn yet. Tina took the hint and ushered the rest of the Glee Club members to the food court, saying that the two divas wouldn't come there so as to avoid all the grease.
Rachel just gave Kurt a sad look and said, "I get what you did for me, and I'm going to keep my nose as it is. But why did you do this for me? Is this some better form of the sad clown hooker costume?" Kurt laughed a bit. "I can see where you're coming from, but no. Even though Finn's my stepbrother by law and all that, I can see you spiraling down because he is not able to decide whether he likes you or Quinn the most. I don't know Quinn that well, but I know she uses him as much as he uses her. So I'm not worried about her. You decide what you want to do. I'll leave you here since I have some brand browsing to do."
Kurt went around the mall, remembering all his memories with his girls, Tina and Mercedes as he went in and out of his favorite shops. This was one of the places he loved to roam about. The cute assistant at the Marc Jacobs shop told him that his order would come the next day. Kurt was upset, but was happy that it was only a day's delay. He hadn't received a call from Finn yet and so knew that the guys were still at the food court. He thought that if he went there now, he could get a smoothie. He decided to visit the men's room before going there.
Kurt did what he had to do and came out. However, as he walked out of the corridor that contained the washrooms, he found himself shrinking. He tried to shout, but was physically not able to. When the shrinking stopped, he tried to make a noise. His shrieks turned to mews as they came out of his mouth and he realized that he had turned into a cat. He then jumped out of the way as a kid almost ran over him.
Kurt was internally freaking out. He knew that animals weren't allowed in the mall. He had supported it himself many times because he worried a dog would chew away all his clothes. He went back to the corridor containing the washrooms. Kurt knew there was a little space that he could crawl into. He would never have guessed that he was stick thin as an animal. And then he started freaking out as it dawned on him, HE WAS A CAT!
Kurt remembered that he had told his dad he might go on a sleepover with the girls or with Rachel. So, nobody would even realize that he had disappeared till the next afternoon. About an hour or two later, he stepped out to see the mall was getting ready to close. He went out of the mall and looked about at the parking area. Just then, he almost got hit by a car.
Kurt felt his heart start beating really, really fast, then he saw a really pretty woman climb out from the driving seat. He heard a kid shout from the car, "What is it, mommy? Why aren't you driving home?" The lady said, "Don't shout, Mattie. Let me see." She bent down and Kurt could see her dress was one which came right off the runway. Even though he should have expected it, he didn't like it when she picked him up and cuddled him to herself. He groaned as he thought, I'm gay and I'm going to second base. She baby talked, "Aren't you a cute little kitty? Yes, you are. Do you have an owner? No, but you have such a cute hat!"
Mattie shouted again, "Is that a kitty there, Mommy? Please, please, please let's take it home!" The lady looked at her car, back at the cat and then said, "Let's take you home, sweetie!" Kurt just gave her a bitch look as she picked him up from his middle, put him in the back seat, and put her seatbelt on. The boy, Mattie, was really cute. Kurt didn't like babies in general because they puked on everything and cried for 20 hours a day, but this one was really a looker. Kurt estimated that he would be about five, and then wondered if cute, sweet Mattie had a hot, elder brother. He then figuratively bashed himself in the head for thinking of boys when his main thought should be, HOW DO I TURN BACK INTO A BOY!?
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The car drove into a really big house. Kurt didn't even think there were big houses like this in Lima. He doubted it was even in Lima. They had been travelling for a long time, the whole time Mattie had been singing cartoon theme songs at the top of his voice. He didn't know whether it was because of the particular boy, or if he was a cat, but he found the singing endearing rather than irritating.
The car stopped, and Mattie carried him inside. He had really soft hands, and Kurt knew that if he were a human boy, rather than a cat, he would openly appreciate it. But now he just basked in the softness, one he got only by using a lot of moisturizers. The house smelled of lovely, delicious food and a man who looked really handsome walked in, saying, "Dinner is ready! You guys are in just in time for Indian food. A lovely, lovely stew with naan and salad on the side for you, my love and Matt, I've got a special cookie for you from Aunty Martha. You can have it as dessert. And who is this kind gentleman in your hands, Mattie?"
Mattie cuddled closer to Kurt as he said, "This is Mr. Nibbles. We found him on the road and he is soo cute. Please let us keep him, Daddy. Please please!" The dad then said, "Let's see, he could end up scratching you, so let me take him from you." Kurt felt quite orgasmic with the fact that the dad was currently petting his fur. He relaxed and was then put back to the ground.
Kurt was slightly amazed over how well adapted he seemed even though he had been transformed into a cat for not even half a day. He decided to treat it as a side effect of shock, and then he surprised himself by lapping at the milk given to him in a bowl. He looked around to see Mattie rolling his vegetables on his plate and whining about how he didn't want to eat his peas that day. He gave a cat version of a smile, and didn't think of the fact that the milk was not non-fat and looked at the happy family in front of him.
As he finished his milk, the dad picked him up, took him up the stairs and put him on a bed. He said, "This is my elder son's bedroom. He goes to a boarding school. I guess you'll be comfortable and no nails, so you won't scratch the bed sheets off the bed. And I have no idea why I am telling all this to a cat. It's not like you're some boy we picked up off the street and gave shelter to." Kurt just internally groaned at his comment. As he cozied himself up in the bed, he thought of how he should hopefully turn back into a boy the next morning.
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Kurt woke up in the morning with a loud yawn. He stopped stretching as something dawned on him. He was no longer a cat. He was no longer a cat. He was no longer…. there was a boy next to him. He looked at the back of the guy, who seemed to sleeping. His eyes went down little by little, registering the curly hair, the strange birthmark in the middle of his back, a small tattoo saying courage in cursive letters, and then he sucked in a deep breath as he saw the small dimples on his lower back leading to a magnificent butt.
Kurt immediately got out of the bed and just looked at the boy, making and discarding decisions rapidly in his head. He knew the house was big enough that there would be a security code on the gate, so he couldn't just run out. But how was he to explain the unnatural experience of him turning into a cat one evening and back to human the next day? Just then, the boy got up, stretched his arms, and gave Kurt a very soft smiling look, before his face turned to panic and he asked, "How is Bright Eyes in my bedroom?"
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I hope you all liked it, especially you Maria. Please review if you can. That empty box is just waiting for you!